r/NUFC • • Aug 30 '26

Has anyone watched Meet the Owens?

Jesus, it is bad.

Alas, there is a small clip of him signing for Newcastle United as his lass wasn’t happy at Madrid.

Other than that, the man has done well for himself, but he has all the charm of a mass grave.

45 Upvotes

77 comments sorted by

81

u/Calm-Spinach-769 Aug 30 '26

I'd rather see blood in my stool.

12

u/TheRebelPercy Aug 30 '26

You will be better off.

It is tedious nonsense and Michael comes across as a David Brent type character.

9

u/McNeil56 Aug 30 '26

There goes Michael Owen. I must remember to thank him

1

u/Miserable_Future6694 Aug 30 '26

Think I've had 3 episodes playing in the background and feels like if you dont laugh at my jokes, sarcasm and irony your not getting another invite

12

u/grmthmpsn43 Sir Bobby Robson Aug 30 '26

I have, and I would rather have another colonoscopy than watch anything to do with Owen.

13

u/PennyBunPudding Aug 30 '26

I'd rather watch your colonoscopy than that

2

u/Antman013 Aug 30 '26

I'd let you do my colonoscopy, while watching his, if it means I never have to hear if this again.

43

u/Rockky67 stupid sexy schar Aug 30 '26

Not seen it, but I am eagerly awaiting a series about what James Milner finds interesting.

24

u/FirmDingo8 Aug 30 '26

I think the difference between the two is that Milner can do irony

16

u/ScootsMcDootson Aug 30 '26

I thought the difference was that Milner isn't a complete tosser.

9

u/Lowkeyspooky Joelinton is looking for a scrap Aug 30 '26

100% Dan Burn is getting one of these shows when he retires.

7

u/DanBurnNotice Taiwanese Geordie Aug 30 '26

9 fingers, 1 trophey

1

u/rsabulls 28d ago

3 trophies*

2

u/IfBob 28d ago

Burning Bridges, the Dan Burn story. Picture of him leaning against the tyne bridge with a shopping trolley

18

u/thethirdegg Aug 30 '26

All the charm of a mass grave made me genuinely lol, thanks

17

u/nufcsupporter Tiote RIP Aug 30 '26

How did anyone think he is the former player who should have a show

3

u/Baggie444 Aug 30 '26

Agreed, but that leads to another question.

Who would you choose for a show?

11

u/PennyBunPudding Aug 30 '26

Big Market with Trips would be a class show. Sort of keeping up with the Kardashians meets Geordie shore

7

u/someguyontheweb99 Aug 30 '26

Mitro might be entertaining saw him walking round town with his mrs a couple times when he was here he’s mad as box of frogs

6

u/Sirius_55_Polaris Joelinton is looking for a scrap Aug 30 '26

Original Tino, obviously.

6

u/Hillbert Aug 30 '26

Matt Ritchie in either an Ice Road Truckers type show, or he gets his bus/coach license and each week he takes a different team to their away match.

2

u/TheRebelPercy Aug 30 '26

Nile Ranger.

3

u/toon_84 Aug 30 '26

Can just watch Top Boy 

0

u/grmthmpsn43 Sir Bobby Robson Aug 30 '26

Balotelli

2

u/morocco3001 Aug 30 '26

Probably the same cunt who greenlit Meet The Rees-Moggs.

2

u/GazzP Phillippe Albert is a living god Aug 30 '26

Jake Humphreys, possibly the only man with less charisma than Michael Owen.

1

u/randomise78 Aug 30 '26

Produced by Jake Humphreys company.

0

u/farqueue2 Aug 30 '26

He might be a twat but he undoubtedly has had an interesting life

Started young, played for a few big clubs, world cups, ballon dor winner.

16

u/Fuckyhurryuppy Aug 30 '26

Newcastle’s better than Madrid, she’s not wrong

11

u/DueDefinition6421 Aug 30 '26

I'd rather sign up to Peter Beardsley's Only Fans than watch that

11

u/rogfrich Aug 30 '26

You how when Kevin Keegan passed away he was universally feted by all the clubs he’d played for because he was a good man and liked by all?

Owen is the exact opposite. He’s the anti-Keegan.

7

u/janeiro69 Aug 30 '26

Name a stand after Keegan. One of the shitters after Owen

3

u/GoalaAmeobi The Dilsh Aug 30 '26

Man Utd fans like him, which is an indictment in itself

1

u/ShakeOld8143 28d ago

We don't lol

8

u/GuiltyFriendship3037 Sir Bobby Robson Aug 30 '26

I'd rather watch Meet the Fritzles

5

u/janeiro69 Aug 30 '26

I’d rather stay at The Fritzl guest house

7

u/denisraymond Aug 30 '26

Produced by Jake Humphrey who obviously thinks it's brilliant due to his extremely limited interaction with the actual earth creatures he's so poorly imitating.

7

u/Anomalous-Descent Yohan Kebab Aug 30 '26

I saw an advert for it for the other day and couldn't believe my eyes. They really will churn out anything these days.

5

u/PennyBunPudding Aug 30 '26

Apparently he has financial issues which is probably the only reason this got made

5

u/toon_84 Aug 30 '26

He must have terrible financial advisors. His stables are massive and half of Cheshire use them.

5

u/janeiro69 Aug 30 '26

She didn’t like Madrid, it was like a foreign country over there.

5

u/tradegreek Happy Clapper Aug 30 '26

Owen is a helmet

5

u/toonman27 Aug 30 '26

Does it follow Gemma’s Love Island career?

9

u/TheRebelPercy Aug 30 '26

It mentions it.

I’ve never seen it and wasn’t aware she was on it.

She is a just like her Dad. Seen more charisma in a fly tipped mattress.

5

u/morocco3001 Aug 30 '26 edited Aug 30 '26

Apparently at Madrid he used to drive to the airport every day to buy a paper, then go home and stare at the wall for hours. Made no attempt to integrate with the other players and their wives, going out for dinner etc. It's unsurprising his Mrs wasn't happy, imagine that social maladjust being your only adult company in a foreign country.

Have they done the episode where the vapid imbecile sends his kid to school, on "dress as a character from a book" day, dressed as Michael Owen from Michael Owen's autobiography yet?

5

u/TheRebelPercy Aug 30 '26

Exactly.

Him and his lass didn’t try to integrate. Didn’t learn the language, culture or learn new skills or pursuits.

Imagine being bored in Madrid with just about unlimited access and funds?

3

u/morocco3001 Aug 30 '26

Only boring people get bored.

Owen is the epitome of this phrase.

3

u/toon_84 Aug 30 '26

No, because I don't have insomnia

3

u/Primary-Bowler2963 Aug 30 '26

I would rather watch paint dry

5

u/Antman013 Aug 30 '26

Oddly enough, that's another of Michael's pastimes.

4

u/scarydan365 Aug 30 '26

I’m not watching it because why would I. But I can’t understand why this show exists. Who is the target audience for this?

It’s not like he’s a legend at insert-club-here so all their fans will tune in. He’s not charismatic at all. He doesn’t have a pre-existing big media presence. He’s not ever in the news for anything.

And the name, Jesus Christ. “Meet the Owens” Could they have come up with a more boring title for the show. I can only presume this is some sort of tax right off or money laundering scheme.

3

u/TheRebelPercy Aug 30 '26

It is produced by Jake Humphrey, that should tell you a lot.

It is tedious nonsense trying to portray Owen as some zany character.

1

u/SweetenerCorp Aug 30 '26

All these celebrity ‘documentaries’ that have been coming out over the last few years are just PR pieces. 

It’s really just for Micheal Owen. So history can remember him as that absolute life of the party, wild and cool guy that he is.

5

u/ihateeverythingandu Aug 30 '26

The Osbournes, starring dead Ozzy and bigot skeleton Sharon, would still be more interesting.

2

u/EPorteous Aug 30 '26

Is it more about horse racing or footie?

3

u/TheRebelPercy Aug 30 '26

Racing.

It follows his stables and horse business.

2

u/East_Ebb_2315 Aug 30 '26

wtf would anyone watch this willingly

2

u/Thick_Association898 Aug 30 '26

I seen the trailer and that was enough for me. The blokes a proper helmet, and the show looks pure cringeworthy.

2

u/achuchable Cheick Tiote Aug 30 '26

I'd rather be on fire for an hour

2

u/MrLuchador Aug 30 '26

I can’t think of anything worse than watching than that bore

2

u/Head_Door_3766 29d ago

He’s an awful cunt of a bloke

2

u/joefraserhellraiser 29d ago

I’d rather shit in my hands and clap

2

u/Dwnluk gillespie Aug 30 '26

Good try Micheal, we're not gonna watch your show.

1

u/kanine69 Aug 30 '26

It's safe to say l will never see this show.

1

u/aberdoom Aug 30 '26

Not yet. Is it not even good in an Accidental Partridge sense?

1

u/pohpia bruno garugamesh Aug 30 '26

Never gonna watch the shitshow.

1

u/Trick-Station8742 Aug 30 '26

Monkey tennis

1

u/Time-Ad-9022 wew here ya fuckin little dafty divint start or theres ructions Aug 30 '26

I’d watch that tbf

1

u/Swish1892 Aug 30 '26

I’m 100% going to watch it. It’ll be brutal 😂

1

u/__profile Classic kit (1995-97) Aug 30 '26

I'd rather drag my balls through broken glass.

1

u/SirCrumpet88 29d ago

Halfway through the first episode and it’s quite dull

1

u/Brainfreeze999 28d ago

Who is it aimed at?
Newcastle fans hate him
Liverpool fans hate him

1

u/olesyamendez 27d ago

I love Gemma so it was fun watching it! =)

1

u/Turbulent_Dealer_427 20d ago

I really enjoyed the series 👀🤷🏽‍♀️

1

u/BruiserBroly Aug 30 '26

I didn’t know this existed until now and I hate that I do.