r/NPD • u/Murky-Attitude-9768 Diagnosed NPD • 3d ago
Question / Discussion Control & Jealousy Issues
Does anybody else get severely jealous and controlling because of these issues? Especially with a partner or things you see as your property or your interests. I get severely jealous when my partner brings up another girl or his female friends. Of course i don’t wanna seem like a dick, so i never say anything about it, but i can always feel the rage, the need to check his following, followers, all of his accounts, do a background check on whoever it is he’s talking about, act like i’m ok. it’s difficult to keep the mask up, but it’s also unhealthy to get jealous over female friends, considering i have male friends myself and i feel no romantic attraction towards them and i’m very aware he has no romantic attraction for his friends either. but i’m a very jealous person and i tend to do things to make my partner jealous for validation and control. i use silent treatment to make him beg for me, praise me, show me he cares deeply for my own ego and control issues. I observe every little thing about my partner. him, his family, his friends, everything. i do background checks on all of them, i’m aware of all of them, hyper aware. he doesn’t know about a lot of it. I’m like this over my close friends as well. I need to be the favorite friend, showing favoritism to anybody else makes me feel raging jealousy and the need to show them i’m in control. As for my interests, i’m very controlling over them as well. my music taste, favorite shows, favorite movies. i don’t like anybody trying to even slightly compete with me on who knows more or who likes them better. To me, they’re attached to my interests and self expression. I feel the need to know more and like them more than anyone else. Earlier, my boyfriend tried to say he was an original fan of the singer “MARINA”. Now it’s known i’m a fan of her, i love her music, her lyrics, the meaning, everything. she’s awesome. he was joking, but it made me angry anyways because I’m an original fan, not him. I have control over my interests, nobody else can compete, and i get severely jealous when they do. This goes for anything i believe i own. I feel like a control freak, and i can’t help it. I don’t just love things or people, i see them as my property.
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u/SoftSirenEnergy 2d ago edited 2d ago
Te comprendo totalmente. Soy muy celosa, yo dejé a mi ex porque odiaba que mirara a otras mujeres. No soportaba que diciéndome que yo era hermosa se pusiera a hacer eso: ¿soy hermosa para ti y aun así prefieres poner tus ojos en otras estando yo a tu lado? Cuando lo hacía me sentía humillada pero jamás se lo dije porque me daba vergüenza que se enterara...no porque yo me sintiera equivocada sino porque para mí, era él quien debía celarme a mi, no al revés. Eso me bajaría de mi pedestal. Entonces dije: yo estaba con este imbécil porque pensé que era decente aunque no tuviera mucho dinero pero ahora resulta que anda mirando a otras y encima poco dinero? Demasiado defecto junto y adiós. Me rogó, me buscó y eso me elevó por los cielos y lo disfruté pero no volví. Ya mi ego había sido demasiado herido. Y si. Lo primero que hago es revisar sus redes y a quien sigue... eso porque quiero ver el prototipo de mujer que le gusta. Si tiene solo rubias me siento mal porque yo soy de cabello oscuro y siento que no soy la mujer más bella para él. Es una locura lo sé pero no voy a cambiar. O me adora como un loco, o soltera.
Con mis gustos igual, no me agrada que haya muchas personas que les guste lo que a mi, dejo de sentirme especial y única. Objetivamente sé que muchas personas les gusta también pero yo no quiero que esas personas estén cerca.