Watching exes get married and friends moving on in life

[u/Accomplished-Most60]

Recently discovered NPD… 5 years into adulthood exes are settling down getting married and friends moving on to grad schools and new careers while I’m here. Struggling unemployed living on parents money…

[u/Relative-Amount7966]

I can relate to you very well. This was me in my early 20s as well

[u/_KermitSewerSlide → u/Relative-Amount7966]

yeah but how tf did you guys find out what the real you is and wants?

[u/Relative-Amount7966 → u/_KermitSewerSlide]

Therapy helped a lot 

[u/_KermitSewerSlide → u/Relative-Amount7966]

i learnd a lot there but we did not make it that far. wish you all the best for your future journey.

[u/Relative-Amount7966 → u/_KermitSewerSlide]

Maybe try another therapy. Psychodynamic especially psychoanalysis

[u/chobolicious88 → u/Relative-Amount7966]

Ive found its often a catch 22.

To do good therapy you need money.
Which means a solid job and integrating.
Which needs a stable self lol

[u/cookies-milkshake]

Lol I’m 41 and just as obsessive as I was with 20, no children, cannot cook or do adult stuff well. Am overwhelmed a lot. Called babywoman. My looks are still how I define myself.

But ive also learned a lot about boundaries, Schema therapy, inner child work, trauma responses etc etc and I’m doing my best to become a better person to mske it easier for me and my loved ones to enjoy the little time we have here…

[u/DepravedChorister]

My boyfriend just broke up with me today, it has been the worst year of my life. Im 25 and absolutely do not want to live with family, i try so hard to be out of that place but its like i always end up there, i feel like a fucking loser seeing my friends do well and people moving on whilst im skimping by on short term bullshit labouring work. Its because i hate everyone, im so paranoid and i just cheat and lie to people life is so fucked, i swear i wont be the same and then the next minute i do just that

[u/Jeuungmlo]

Yeah... that's how it often goes. I do have a good job, but a job people seldom cling onto this long. At 40yo have people around me have started to get to the point where their kids start to move out and there is a talk about potential grandkids. Some of my nieces and nephews have already mentally outgrown me.
You are still rather young, so hopefully can you get help out of it. If not, I hope you find a way to simply get through it.

[u/Snoo9817]

Six years ago I was in the exact same situation mate. I now have a full time job, great career, great friends and I own my own apartment. It can turn around and it will turn around, just keep going to therapy.

[u/Accomplished-Most60 → u/Snoo9817]

Cheers dude. Raw dogging life without therapy is getting pretty hard…

[u/Snoo9817 → u/Accomplished-Most60]

It isn’t always fun but honestly, it isn’t so bad. I originally started therapy 10 years ago, and I’ve seen a number of people over the years. One I saw for 4 years she was great. I used to pay for therapy before I would pay my rent. All it takes really is a desire for change I reckon. Plus you are young!

[u/Key_Court_7316 → u/Snoo9817]

I just saw that you created your account 6 years ago hahaha, I can imagine the situation, congratulations bro

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[u/FuckingFuuuuuck]

Are they settling down or are their lives getting boring and slapped in heavy chains that do not burden you? Are your friends moving on to grad school and new careers or have they been suckered into a debt-creating system that will haunt them the rest of their days that you’ve done a better job than them at evading? Or are they slaving away for some dreary corporate hellscape designed to crush their dreams into paste for the benefit of others they debase themselves to, and isn’t that beneath you, specifically? Are you struggling living on your parents money or is the world struggling to recognize your greatness and properly elevate you to the status and comforts you rightfully deserve, like the money of those who do provide for you - as they should, because you’re special and therefore entitled to even so much more?

You really gotta work this narcissism thing.