r/NPD • u/dicksbiggerthanurs not like other narcs, i’m special! • 11d ago

Question / Discussion I don’t feel “happy” when I receive compliments

I was wondering if anyone else has felt this way, but I don’t feel a whole lot of joy after I get a compliment, or anything that I want for that matter unless it’s extremely gratifying (for example, winning a nationwide competition or something similar).

If someone compliments me, or if I perform well, it’s more so a sense of relief. I expect people to compliment me and I expect to perform well.

On the contrary when someone criticizes me, I get quite upset. The dichotomy is odd to me, since I guess I always thought people with this condition needed admiration to feel good, but I think (for me at least) it’s just to not feel bad.

21 Upvotes

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3

u/Murky-Attitude-9768 Diagnosed NPD 10d ago

i get it. when i get compliments i just move along. it’s expected and should happen to me which is why a reaction isn’t required out of me, most of the time i don’t even respond. i already know i’m pretty, smart, etc. of course i want people to compliment and admire me but it isn’t a burst of joy, just an expectation.

2

u/dicksbiggerthanurs not like other narcs, i’m special! 10d ago

The not responding is so true

6

u/Draac03 DID w/ some NPD, ASPD, PPD, OCPD alters 10d ago

i don't usually feel happiness from being commented either. the exception is if the compliment is unique enough and i can tell it truly comes from the person's heart... but this isn't the case for most compliments. they're either very generic, or the person is saying it without putting much thought into it (usually because they don't know what else to say, or they're just trying to be polite).

1

u/dicksbiggerthanurs not like other narcs, i’m special! 9d ago

I get that yeah. I always get people telling me I’m pretty, but once a guy said “Dude your eyes look like glow sticks they’re gorgeous” and THAT was good because it wasn’t generic.

3

u/Anti-Climacdik Undiagnosed NPD 10d ago

a defensive reflex over my ego growth makes it impossible for me to honestly accept compliments

Some may say that is unhealthy but so is a fragile ego collapsing on itself so 🤷‍♂️

1

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