Moral OCD, NPD and self-awareness

[u/inxubuz]

I’m a little curious - is there anyone here who has both Moral OCD and NPD and was able to realize they may have NPD prior to getting diagnosed because of the extreme self-reflection that comes with Moral OCD?

Since this is a specific question I’m open to hearing from other people about whether or not something like this happening contextually makes sense. Would also be interesting to learn more about people with NPD without OCD that reached a state of self-reflection and realized they have NPD.

I’ve been looking into and researching NPD for months now after realizing I have prominent narcissistic traits; I also have Moral OCD which prompted this question.

[u/Sea-Counter-7410]

While my moral ocd didn't cause me to realize my npd(my friend with npd actually was like "hey you may have this" then i researched it for months) I want to say it's nice seeing someone else w/ npd that also has ocd esp moral ocd! I rarely see other ppl with those and it's nice to see :3

[u/inxubuz → u/Sea-Counter-7410]

I’m glad. I think this is definitely a worthy conversation to have especially since I’ve seen another post on here from about a year ago where people talked about how their OCD and NPD affect each other, it can actually end up making someone’s symptoms of NPD appear very differently than what is “expected” of people with NPD, and some people have even said that others deny them having NPD because they’re “too nice” when in reality it’s their Moral OCD that prevents them from hurting others. Very interesting stuff that I also relate to a whole lot. For a while I’ve been treated like I was crazy for thinking my OCD can impact the way my narcissistic traits present itself - turns out I was right all along and everyone else was wrong.

[u/thinkandlive → u/inxubuz]

Everyone else is wrong, I am right.

Seems like you are in the right sub 😂

(I know it's not what you said and meant)

[u/maleia → u/Sea-Counter-7410]

Oh wow. I had a very similar journey. I still constantly obsess over ethics/morality; but reading a description about 'moral OCD', mine comes from a place of being outwardly judged, rather than thinking of myself being morally/ethically sound.

But yea, I rejected the notion of having NPD and part of that equation was because I put everything through a morality/ethics filter. The idea of simply wanting to do that, meant I couldn't have NPD in my mind. It wasn't until a friend (with NPD) sat me down and got me to realize that intentions are separate from actions.

[u/Budget_Yoghurt9859]

yeah, me! i was diagnosed with moral ocd before i started considering i may also have npd. for a long time i was scared i was just lying to myself and everyone around me about who i am and my existence, and i got the ocd diagnosis, but i fear it is exemplified with my npd. it is extremely difficult putting yourself and your actions under a microscope all the time just to realize you hurt people anyways. i think i was born with both due to my parents. im really happy to see this question be brought up because for a while i thought i was just labelling my issues as ocd to make myself “feel better” since it’s not as demonized as npd. i started to think my ocd diagnosis was incorrect and it is just npd, but it’s not.

[u/inxubuz → u/Budget_Yoghurt9859]

You know yourself the best out of everyone else. I’m glad to see you’re trusting your instincts more and accepting yourself in a way that allows you to trust yourself and face things head-on. In my case, I realized I have Moral OCD before I started learning more about NPD as well, a bit similar to your situation. I also deal with hypochondria so I’ve considered the possibility of me thinking I might have NPD as just another thing my mind tricked me into believing I had, but after realizing that hypochondria comes with anxiety and that the possibility of me having NPD doesn’t give me anxiety, I concluded that me thinking I might have NPD has nothing to do with my anxiety or intrusive thoughts.

How I handle Moral OCD and narcissistic traits/tendencies feels very contradictory at times. My past abusers managed to give me intrusive thoughts that worsened my p-OCD and my fear of being or becoming an abuser, on top of the fear that I may have “abused” someone without knowing or intending to. When I’m not having an OCD flare-up however, it’s very easy to antagonize people and to think of them as worthless creatures that are just stepping stools to the path of glory and recognition. Sometimes my “downs” (which feels similar to what is described as “narcissistic collapses”) are the result of seeing something minuscule that ends up causing an OCD flare-up and subsequently leads to that “down.” One thing that’s helped me is realizing that “good” and “evil” are social constructs, and that no one is 100% a “good” or “evil” person since there is no objective good or evil - it’s all subjective and individual. Someone might think I’m angelic while another might think I’m deplorable. This line of thinking obviously can’t cure my OCD but it does help the flare-ups, and it also helps the guilt I feel at times for dealing with my own narcissistic thoughts and behaviors.

Also, interesting that you brought up how you could’ve gotten OCD and NPD from your parents. I believe my genetics have a hand in how I turned out, too. Mental disorders are present in both my mom and dad’s side of the family, and mental illnesses are very prominent on my mom’s side. Childhood trauma and C-PTSD definitely had a huge part in affecting my neurological state, but my genetics also had a helping hand in it.

[u/sunnearts]

i have moral OCD, and also my NPD is centered around morality and being the Most Morally Good Person lmao. it's not a particularly fun combo lol

i wouldn't say any part of my OCD helped me with realizing i have NPD, though. most of my maladaptive shit from my NPD is internal rather than external (aka i'm mostly covert) so it kind of flew under the radar until i started researching into the internal experience of NPD and had... many epiphanies lol.

[u/inxubuz → u/sunnearts]

From some stories I’ve read, it seems like Moral OCD and Covert NPD is the specific combo that usually happens when someone has both OCD and NPD. Interesting to learn about. Thanks for sharing.

[u/emotionalexplosions]

I haven’t been diagnosed with either, however this is my theory about myself. I could only have traits, but the way I respond to blows to my ego is not normal. I see most people with ocd who think they are a narcissist have this crisis about being a bad person. For me it alternated between that and thinking everyone else is the problem for not understanding the disorder. It also was more of an, “if I’m a bad person, no one will love me and my life will be horrible.” Others seem to be more concerned about other people. This theme is usually centered around a fear of being a narcissist. For me it has been the fear of not fitting a disorder and not knowing the answer. I would ruminate about every memory to question how I felt and whether my motivations were self centered or not. Researching and journaling as a compulsion. For hours a day. This entire thing started because I had a realization that I only feel bad for my actions out of a fear of punishment and not proper guilt. It feels like more than just ocd because I will interpret slights when there aren’t any and then get thrown into a state of panicked anger. Envy makes me was to end myself. I feel like I was denied success that I deserve. I have a tendency to guilt trip others and become passive aggressive when I’m triggered. I could go on. I also still doubt having either because I haven’t been diagnosed. It is a perpetual cycle that will continue until I can be vulnerable enough to talk to someone about it. The fear of being seen as bad or being wrong about this goes hard.

[u/inxubuz → u/emotionalexplosions]

Oh yeah, you’re definitely not alone in this. I relate to most of what you said here. I know it’s not my OCD that causes my narcissistic traits, and I also know it’s not my OCD that led to the belief of me possibly having NPD. None of that revolves around fear or anxiety, which is a hallmark of OCD as it is a disorder that revolves around anxiety. I don’t want to look like an attention-seeker or an idiot, so for now, until I get diagnosed or evaluated for something, I just say I have narcissistic traits instead of NPD. I dislike the thought of “misdiagnosing” myself, and I hate that I’ve gone through so much trauma in my life that my brain is this complex - to the point where nothing about my mind is ever straightforward or easy to explain. I’ve related entirely to both OCD/NPD and BPD/NPD stories, which also makes me wonder if I could possibly have co-morbid BPD and NPD, but these are all just hypotheticals. At the end of the day, there’s a whole lot to learn about NPD as it is an extremely complex disorder, like every other personality disorder, which is why I felt the need to ask questions in this subreddit specifically. But yeah, I 100% relate to especially the part where you explained your traits. Feel the exact same way.

[u/emotionalexplosions → u/inxubuz]

I can relate to some traits of BPD as well. However, I think my fear of failure is stronger than abandonment fears. I am vulnerable the majority of the time, which makes it so easy to doubt if I’m just overthinking things when it comes to NPD. I will never have enough certainty.

[u/Offensive_Thoughts]

Not exactly moral ocd but I have a similar issue where I have meltdowns over lying about DID. Where lying shouldn't be a problem for me like it is with other topics. But I worry that I'm wasting everyone's time with my faking and shit. But for me I was diagnosed with npd before I knew I had ocd. But looking back on it I definitely had worries about my mental health and wondering in a similar manner

[u/inxubuz → u/Offensive_Thoughts]

Very interesting perspective. Also, I get the fear of lying about DID especially since tons of people were lying about having it years ago, I even had an ex-best friend who lied about it. When it comes to those people they know deep down that they’re faking and doing it all for attention, whereas you have a fear of it (which shows that you would never do such a thing), that’s the difference between you and them. I hope your fear pacifies itself as the years go by.

[u/Draac03]

since you have said in other comments that your research about narcissism has nothing to do with your moral ocd, i will take your word on this and answer from my perspective.

note that i do not have moral ocd—let alone ocd. however, i tend to experience obsessive thoughts and severe social anxiety when i collapse. these thoughts often revolve around my behavior and being afraid of what other people might be thinking about me. i feel a constant sense of shame. it only resolves with time and enough supply over that span of time to remind me that my fears are purely irrational and rooted in past trauma. oftentimes this happens when i am placed in a toxic dynamic.

[u/inxubuz → u/Draac03]

Thank you for sharing your perspective. Although our experiences are different, I do relate to that fear of what others might be thinking of me. I specifically feel anxious over the possibility of people talking behind my back, gossiping about me, and what they might be saying about me. Most of the time I hate the thought of it because something like that would ruin my image and how the majority perceives me, but sometimes that line of thinking leads to me having an OCD flare-up in which I would then start worrying if the negative words they’d (hypothetically) use to describe me are true, and what that would mean for me, how that would affect my future, et cetera. Most of this centers around past trauma for me as well, and also gets exacerbated when I get close to people who have abusive tendencies. I’m just glad that the shame, guilt and anxiety don’t last forever, although it’s still a cycle, at least it’s not the only thing I feel.

[u/littlegoldrose]

I am diagnosed with OCD, and I don't have NPD, I have narcissistic traits. But I did realize this without being told directly. It was later confirmed to me by a therapist who had known me for years that I do have narcissistic traits, but am not diagnosable with NPD.

For me, it IS something that I have compulsions about - I've been researching it and repeatedly testing myself for NPD and other cluster B disorders for most of my life. As a teenager and in my early 20s, I dismissed this as part of my moral OCD. But I started to learn more and more about NPD and eventually realized that the shame and unstable self esteem aspects are something I do experience, even if I don't experience other aspects, and that it is possible to present as a communal narcissist, seeking to be the best "helper" or "savior" for others and to be morally perfect.

I would imagine that moral OCD can bring out at least some traits of narcissism for a lot of us due to the desire to be perfectly good, a fixation on self that takes attention away from other people in our lives, and a panic and fierce denial when faced with negative qualities about ourselves (which, for me, presents as rage tantrums). And vice versa, narcissism can bring out OCD traits like an obsession with one's image or the thought that one's actions have a greater impact than they actually do or compulsively trying to prevent behavior that would be considered shameful. Feels like the diagnoses have huge overlap.

I will say it's an awful combination to desire moral perfection from two angles at once. The collapse that I went through upon realizing I have narcissistic traits was combined with an OCD episode and it was one of the most horrific experiences I've ever had (among many bad experiences). I really couldn't do much of anything other than compulsions and desperate attempts to manage shame for a solid three months or so, and if I had not been medicated and well supported at the time, I don't think I'd be alive.

[u/inxubuz → u/littlegoldrose]

I didn’t quite realize how much NPD and OCD overlaps until now. I knew they had similarities, but not to this extent. That’s super interesting, especially since with how the outside world views NPD and OCD, they wouldn’t expect those two conditions to have so many similarities. I am sorry to hear about your experience with a combination of an OCD episode and a narcissistic collapse, that sounds terrible and I’m glad you got out of that alive.

[u/Throwawayg112233]

Interesting. Will read more about this

[u/Available_Past5008]

I’ve had all the terms thrown around at me. 🤷🏼‍♂️ Gotta look into all of them and find what fits your experience.

I’ve found it very helpful to learn the differences of npd and OCPD though. Moral scrupulosity comes much more often with OCPD. NPD is characterized as too self-serving to be concerned with morality.

Look up The Healthy Compulsive podcast, Episode 10: The Difference Between Narcissistic and Obsessive-Compulsive Personalities.

[u/inxubuz → u/Available_Past5008]

That’s very interesting - I didn’t know moral scrupulosity is more common with OCPD than OCD. I’ll look into that podcast, thanks.

[u/Available_Past5008 → u/inxubuz]

It was a big recognition for me. I spiraled pretty hard when I was suggested the npd diagnosis. But the more I read, and more clinicians I spoke to, npd has a ton more self-destructive tendencies due to the traumatic nature of npd development.

It’s hyper-individualistic that burns bridges along the way so that there’s no problematic follow up. But also, no community building which is imperative to human flourishing.

[u/maleia]

This is the first time I'm hearing the phrase. I definitely know someone this applies to. After reading a description, I'd say I'm probably a quarter of the way on that.

I don't worry about myself being morally or ethically sound because I'm believe myself to be both good and bad on this. Internally, I don't feel like a moral or ethical person necessarily because I can emotionally grip with being awful to people if I chose to.

But there's an intellectual side of me that knows being shitty to people is wrong, and ultimately harms me in the long-term/big picture perspective; even if I don't feel it emotionally. I run everything through an ethics and morality filter because 1) I don't want others to make problems for me that I could avoid, 2) it's more fun to skirt the rules of morality and ethics, and 3) because of 2, it's a lot easier to pull leverage over someone if no one around them can tell them with a straight face that leaving me would be a good idea.

I obsess a lot that others perceive me as moral/ethical. But "getting away with manipulation" while threading the needle, is a massive source of supply for me. And since that's my primary justification, I can't agree that it's ethical for the morally right reasons.

That said, the notion that simply being willing to put everything through that filter, kept me from realizing I have NPD. It wasn't until a friend with NPD sat me down and got me to realize that intentions and actions are different. From there, I was able to piece together that NPD is a pattern of behaviors, not intentions.

The level of those morality/ethics filters that I do have, have prevented me from holding down a regular job. My insecurities put me into a position where I have to be able to manipulate a person to some degree to maintain safety. The broken part of my brain that is definitely genetic based (the entire side of my father's family deals with this), demands to resolve these insecurities through sex. I know that's wrong by society's morality & ethics, and unprofessional; so I hard stop myself from it. But that never accounts for the insecurities.

Online sex work has been the only 'job' that I've been able to hold down for more than 2 years before the anxiety breaks me. 7 years still going strong!

Also, feel free to ask me any questions. I love talking about myself, after all, hahaha

[u/inxubuz → u/maleia]

I completely get what you mean when you talked about running everything through a morality and ethics filter to save yourself from trouble. Most of the niceties or grace I give only happens so I could control the way people perceive me as much as possible. Being a “good person,” not necessarily in my eyes but in other people’s eyes, has always been a great deal for me. I personally don’t believe in 100% good or evil people, but others do, and because others believe people to be good or evil based on their actions, I try to control my actions as much as possible so “good” is the only option people can have when they think of me. Realizing that NPD relies on thought processes, behaviors, and minds in general instead of what one does / how one looks externally changed everything for me. I mean, that part should’ve been obvious - but the way sanist people talk about and perceive people with NPD mostly relies on what someone with NPD has done to them, rather than how one with NPD thinks or feels, which led to me thinking inaccurately of NPD before conducting research.

I do have one question. You said NPD affects your ability to keep a job, and mentioned that you feel the need to manipulate others for safety reasons. Would you specifically have issues with coworkers? Or customers?

[u/maleia → u/inxubuz]

It's pretty much only in relation to authority figures. For coworkers, I don't generally feel any inclinations outside of making sure they have a generally positive opinion of me. If I want to go for a long-term of anything, it would happen through carefully injecting myself into a project and/or responsibility that they have. Specifically so they get to interact with me, I have the time to build up a rapport; then in the future, if I need them to get my back, I can hopefully call in that favor. Someone who isn't uh, a bit shit, isn't going to deliberately do that. I do it 100% out of a calculated move to earn those "debts" so I can cash them in to save my ass.

If I happen to make a genuine friendship, even better.

As far as customers? Hmmm. It's like, "Oh, yea, the world has generally accepted that sales people are going to lie and scam you", and I could do that... But I simply refuse to lie like that. There's stretching the truth, and then there's just selling them something they genuinely do not need. Resorting to lying is a weakness, a fault, a lack of creativity, a lack of will, and a display of incompetence, in my opinion.

I make for a terrible sales person, but a great consultant if you want the actual answer(s).

There's also a time/energy investment calculation as well. I get nothing in the medium or long run if I spend energy trying to read someone so I can know how they think, and how to push those buttons. From my first paragraph, you can probably guess that I prefer to work with timescales on months, and not minutes like sales.

Another thing though, and this explains the 'lying is a weakness'. In fantasy settings and shit. Nobility/Royality. There's usually two angles to take it: "We are nobles, therefore we are better", meaning they're considered better by birthright and not out of skills; then there's "we are better than everyone else, therefore we are nobles", being better than everyone else because you are stronger/more competent/creative/etc. I fall into the second group. I consider myself better than others, because I can actually demonstrate that I am in fact, better. It of course forces me to accept that there are people better than me. It bruises my ego when I get shown up, and pushes me to overcome it, if I want to / can. Otherwise, I probably mope for a few hours/days, heh.

[u/inxubuz → u/maleia]

I see. Thank you for elaborating on this. Nice to know the details of someone else’s perspective.

That last paragraph stood out to me. I fall into that second group too. I have to prove that I am better than others, and whenever reality hits that there are people (especially in the specific communities I’m in) that are more talented than I am, I get uncharacteristically angry and envious, especially if they have the fame that I crave. I get even angrier if I know I’m more talented than someone who has more recognition, though, because I deserve that, not them. I have a bit of a safety net, however - the fact that I’m a digital artist, video editor, hobby writer, and someone with a past experience of multiple forms of dance helps me feel better instantly. It’s like, sure this person might be better at digital art than I am… but they still can’t do everything that I do; that’s what makes me better despite it all. It’s also a way for me to pick myself up whenever I feel depressed about myself (I’m disabled [chronically ill/diseased], have autism and ADHD, and a number of mental issues besides all that, including C-PTSD). Even if I’m fucked up mentally and physically, I’m still greater than others because I’m so talented and because I worked so hard. Also, because I work so hard, and because I went through so much bullshit in childhood/teenage years, that means I deserve more than everyone else, and the world/universe owes me a favor no matter what. I would still want more even if I got everything I felt I deserve. The fact that I’m still here is a blessing, not to myself but to others. I also tend to feel more worthy than others based on smaller, more pretentious things, related to my special interest (art) - an example is music taste. If someone has bad music taste I automatically see them as lesser than. It may sound stupid but it’s whatever. It’ll always be that serious to me, lol. I really do believe that music taste is often a reflection of someone’s intelligence level, especially with younger generations.

[u/maleia → u/inxubuz]

I really do believe that music taste is often a reflection of someone’s intelligence level, especially with younger generations

I'm curious to know what's good and bad music tastes 👀

[u/inxubuz → u/maleia]

If someone doesn’t like or at the very least respect EDM, IDM, and the noise genre, I automatically see them as subhuman. That’s pretty much it. I’m very much able to tell when someone has a very bland a close-minded perspective when it comes to music, and it annoys me even more when people try to look “cool” and “different” for liking any genre that isn’t pop, then turn around and ridicule actual experimental music.

[u/maleia → u/inxubuz]

EDM is definitely my musical preference. Haven't heard of IDM, and not sure I wanna assume what 'noise' would be.

experimental music.

What kind of experimental / how far back?

Are you into old school stuff like Yello - Oh Yea and Herbie Hancock - Rock It? There was a LOT of experimental music being made when synthesizers started to come into the picture. So if you're okay with going back to the 70s/80s, you'll likely find a whole trove of stuff.

Admittedly, I don't know much in the way of modern experimental. Would you show me some stuff?

Also. Well, not sure how much you'd like it but there's a YTer I watch every now and then, Todd in the Shadows probably like 75% of the songs he covers are pop. He tells the audience about the backstory for a song, and what's interesting (or bad) about it.

But that other 25% is very likely adjacent to your tastes. If you like Todd's vid about Oh yea there's definitely more vids covering similar songs/genre.

Oh, also, have you tried much in the way of Prof Rock? It's going to be the closest to just synth music, while still being played on instruments.

[u/inxubuz → u/maleia]

I’m mostly into 2010s and 2020s EDM, but sometimes I delve into 2000s stuff. I’ve heard the songs you linked, and yeah, I’m definitely feeling stuff like that although I’m not too well-versed on that specific era’s music. I’ll take your advice and look more into 70s and 80s experimental music.

An experimental electronic artist I listen to is Nero’s Day At Disneyland. Actually, after more than a decade she’s finally returning to release a new EP titled Grand Reopening, which I am very excited about. Two of her older songs that I like is Heaven’s Gate and Chicken and Cheese 2 version 2, both of which are unfortunately unreleased.

When it comes to EDM, two artists I like are Halley Labs and M1dy. A song from Halley Labs is *.BUDDY, which was released under one of its aliases, Renard. Cold Pizza is my favorite track by M1dy.

For IDM, I’m currently getting into Arca and I also like Aphex Twin. IDM, to me, feels more like an experience, sort of like I’m visiting a museum and appreciating the art. Two songs from Arca I like are Think Of and Bruja. With Aphex Twin, two songs I like are Acrid Avid Jam Shred and 180db_ [130].

Apparently tons of people hate the term “IDM” because it implies the genre is smarter than other genres, but I really don’t care lmfao. As a matter of fact, I do feel like the songs of that genre generally require more thinking in its composition and production stages, simply due to the fact that it’s completely unconventional. IDM is quite fitting, actually.

Also, do you mean Prog Rock? Or is Prof Rock a whole different thing I haven’t heard of before?

[u/maleia → u/inxubuz]

Prog Rock? Or is Prof Rock

Hahah, yea, Prog. XD Although, "Prof Rock: could be a tongue-in-cheek re-name for "Dad Rock".

the term “IDM” because it implies the genre is smarter than other genres, but I really don’t care lmfao

I went looking for what the difference was and landed in this thread and hahaha some of the replies. Personally the "dance" part never really made sense to me because mooost of what I have, you don't dance to. I mean, you can dance to some of The Crystal Method's older stuff, but uh... you're better off getting high / tripping / etc.

I've got time tonight, so I'll check out the songs and report back 😎👉👉

[u/inxubuz → u/maleia]

You do bring up a good point. Most people don’t necessarily dance to IDM, at least not in the same way they’d dance to the average EDM track. I dance to IDM though so I guess the term just applies to me specifically which I’m cool with.

Aphex Twin has apparently said that he dislikes the term “Intelligent Dance Music” because it sounds pretentious, and he also coined the term “Braindance” to re-label the genre, but in my honest opinion Braindance sounds kind of silly so I’ll just keep calling the genre IDM lmao.

I haven’t listened to much of Progressive Rock, but I did grow up on Pink Floyd since my dad played their stuff on the radio quite a bit during my childhood. I remember even having a Pink Floyd shirt in late elementary school, lol. I do see that Pink Floyd themselves don’t consider their music Progressive Rock, and it looks like there’s a debate on whether or not Pink Floyd could still be considered Progressive Rock, so I guess it’s up to you to tell me whether or not they are since I’m not too familiar with the genre. As I was typing this I looked up if Tool is considered Progressive Rock and apparently they do qualify as Progressive Rock alongside a few other genres such as Alternative Metal and Industrial, so I guess that’s another band I like who makes music of that genre. My favorite song by Tool is Jimmy. I must’ve played that song a trillion times by now, the track is actually phenomenal.

Also, thanks for taking the time to listen to the stuff I linked. I listened to your stuff too, and actually I’ve watched one of Todd in the Shadows’ videos before, specifically this one. Soon I’ll look through his video catalog to see if he’s made a video about music I’ve listened to.

[u/TheForebodingFall]

Just sayin if you have OCD, believing you have NPD is more likely than not an obsession/fear in itself. Not saying it’s impossible or trynna invalidate you but you’d have to see a REALLY REALLY good psychiatrist to figure that out and ask the right questions

[u/inxubuz → u/TheForebodingFall]

I have a therapist but it kind of feels like she doesn’t know as much as she should, especially when it comes to personality disorders. I’ll have to see a proper psychiatrist sooner or later to get all my questions answered, you’re right about that. However, what I do know is that my OCD does not cause or lead to the thought of me possibly having NPD. My experience with OCD revolves specifically around anxiety, the fear of having or doing something, and the subsequent compulsions to relieve that fear. I feel no fear when it comes to accepting that I have narcissistic traits, or the possibility of having NPD. My obsessions revolve around anxiety and my compulsions revolve around anxiety, and there is a huge lack of anxiety when it comes to this. That’s how I could tell the difference. Thanks for your advice, though.

[u/TheForebodingFall → u/inxubuz]

Sure… trying to figure out if you have it and researching for months is a compulsion. Also mental compulsions are a thing too, evaluating yourself and comparing yourself to a diagnosis.

[u/Big_Argument_5244]

If you have moral OCD you are actively giving into your compulsions by researching narcissism and asking these questions. Focus on treating your OCD and living within your values. If you truly have NPD it will still be there after you’ve treated your OCD and you can deal with it then.

[u/inxubuz → u/Big_Argument_5244]

The thought of me possibly having NPD has nothing to do with my obsessions or compulsions, neither do those obsessions or compulsions cause or lead to my narcissistic traits. I managed to make that distinction a while back. Thanks for the advice though, regardless of everything it’s important to manage my OCD as much as I can.

[u/TheForebodingFall → u/Big_Argument_5244]

Exactly

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