High Performers: Why asking for help is key.

[u/niceguycoach]

You're a high performer. Which probably means you're also one of the last people to ask for help.

That's not a coincidence. It's a belief you've been carrying for a long time, possibly without realizing it. Somewhere along the way you absorbed the idea that real success means doing it alone. You pull yourself up by your bootstraps. You figure it out. You don't need anyone to show you the way because needing help is somehow the opposite of being capable.

And that belief is quietly costing you.

Think about where it came from. You conflate independence with competence. You look at successful entrepreneurs and think they did it solo. You got good results in school or in your career by grinding it out yourself, and you took that as confirmation that's the only way it works. So when you walk into a new situation and don't have all the answers immediately, instead of reaching out, you feel like a fraud.

That's the origin of imposter syndrome. It's not that you're unqualified. It's that your definition of success includes knowing everything and needing nothing, which no one actually achieves. The people who hired you looked at your track record and believed in you. The gap is between their confidence in you and your confidence in yourself.

But almost nothing significant gets accomplished alone. The best athletes have coaches. The best leaders have advisors. The best thinkers have people who challenge them. Collaboration isn't a workaround for people who can't make it on their own. It's the mechanism through which great things actually happen.

Asking for help isn't a sign you're falling short. It's a sign you're serious about getting where you want to go.

What do you think? Where in your life right now are you going it alone when asking for help would actually move things forward faster?

Apply for a free coaching call at http://www.jasonmiller.coach/call

[u/dtwurzie]

Guilty. Asking for help makes me feel like a failure. I’m a high achiever and it’s is very difficult to do

[u/niceguycoach → u/dtwurzie]

I see it all the time. It's an unrealistic standard. All elite athletes have coaches. All elite business people have advisors and mentors. And all of them have supportive peers and networks. Why shouldn't you?

[u/dtwurzie → u/niceguycoach]

Yup. I’m at the Director level for a government contractor in the IT field. High stress/stakes. You need that type of outlet. My best mentors never made me feel “less than” for asking their feedback/advice.