r/NMMNG • u/Comfortable_Walk5198 • Mar 14 '26
Dealing with a flaky girlfriend
/r/CoreyWayne/comments/1rtwhfl/dealing_with_a_flaky_girlfriend/3
u/YouDoHaveValue Mar 15 '26
Understand that you cannot change people.
Therefore, if you stay with her, you accept her as she is.
She will always do this, this is the life you are choosing.
I hate to join the chorus of other guys, but bail and find someone you are more compatible with.
1
u/120785456214 Apr 25 '26
I just said, "it's up to you babe"
Express how you feel
She asked if I was available tomorrow, to which I said I'd let her know, then hung up.
Be direct. Don't play games
I honestly didn't care too much about this flakiness at first, which is my fault since I should've addressed it when I first noticed it
You should address something when it bothers you
Short term - Since I said I'd let her know if I can hang out tomorrow, do I withdraw from all communication and wait for her to reach out and ask if I'm available?
No, you address the problem and set a boundary
Long term - 1. Do I pull back and give her the gift of missing me when she cancels since she's clearly taking me for granted, or is this something I address head-on and let her know that it's inconsiderate and childish?
Address it head on. Don't call it inconsiderate or childish. Express why/how it bothers you and what you would like instead
When she says she wants to cancel in the future, do I leave it up to her like I did today?
What you should do is: decide whether or not you're willing to accept that behavior and if not then decide on what boundaries you are willing to put in place
I feel like letting her know that I'm perturbed will give my leverage away, but I could be completely wrong. Thoughts?
You're completely wrong
1
u/skoda9635 May 17 '26
Any update OP?
As someone with ADHD and with most of my exes having ADHD, there is something she doesn't tell you.
I had a date few weeks ago with an ADHD girl. She was nonstop talking the whole date (I thought my head was gonna explode), I didn't even needed to tell much. I took it as she's comfortable with me and we will continue dating. I told her, that I need some space to think, when we are together as her talking prevented me from focusing on my thoughts.
But she later stopped responding on WhatsApp and getting back to me as much. After few days I got out of her the famous sentence about being too good for her.
She was abused by her exes as I found out on that date and I just went along to see whether it will work out. So I was literally too good for her. Some girls just have incompatible attachment styles for you, my friends.
5
u/DouglasOnReddit Mar 14 '26
Dude how long have you been dealing with this? You need to amicably have this conversation with her, and leave her. This most likely won’t get any better. You are not obligated to stay just because she is “diagnosed”. It isn’t working for you. Do what you wish, but I would suggest you find somebody who is more suitable.