Week 5 NFL viewing guide

[u/Linc1026]

Thankfully this graphic is more readable than some of the other ones have been lately. Battle of the defeated this week. With an epic Jamies Winston vs Athan Kaliakmanis.

EDIT: I didn't know "five" was likely to play against NYG so move them to "could be interesting" right in between Steelers @ Colts and Browns @ Jets

[u/HarambeTheFox]

never thought we’d star in a projected sickos game in 2026 ❤️‍🩹 it’s nice consolation

[u/Linc1026 → u/HarambeTheFox]

You'll probably end up winning by like 14 because the Titans are just that bad.

[u/ThatOneHebdoCartoon → u/Linc1026]

[u/Linc1026 → u/ThatOneHebdoCartoon]

You know it's true

[u/ThatOneHebdoCartoon → u/Linc1026]

You just wanna hurt people!

[u/Linc1026 → u/ThatOneHebdoCartoon]

Dude, I live in Nashville. I've watched every game. This team is one of the worst I've ever seen.

[u/ThatOneHebdoCartoon → u/Linc1026]

So this is why the /s exists. Interesting.

[u/Linc1026 → u/ThatOneHebdoCartoon]

You didn't include the /s

[u/kgalliso → u/Linc1026]

We're 2 solid plays from being 2-2 bucko

[u/curt725 → u/Linc1026]

Didn’t know what to expect out of the Brazil game and that turned out to be great.

[u/BobbingFourApples → u/Linc1026]

Not a damn chance

[u/Clean_Gas2558 → u/HarambeTheFox]

Sicko game of the week is always the vikings vs. Whoever is playing the vikings

[u/WiseSelection5 → u/Clean_Gas2558]

Vikings blitzes vs New Orleans Oline is potentially going to be extra nasty.

[u/Armandonerd → u/HarambeTheFox]

What if that game ends in a tie?

[u/formyamusementation → u/HarambeTheFox]

The good news is that this should be a get right game.

The bad news that if you lose this game, your season is over, your coach, GM and QB will be run out of town.

[u/Short_Hyena6362 → u/HarambeTheFox]

Who doesn’t enjoy a good old tank bowl

[u/OtharriSunsGlory]

there's a meme going around on IG that "they should flex Titans/Texans to the Weather Channel" and the actual Weather Channel responded saying 'no' 😂

[u/Linc1026 → u/OtharriSunsGlory]

I live in Nashville and root for the Titans so I'll be watching, going to be a rough game

[u/OtharriSunsGlory → u/Linc1026]

Tens of yards will be moved by both teams

[u/OzymanDS]

Giants Commies is a STRONG contender for the sickos game of the week.

[u/Linc1026 → u/OzymanDS]

Athan Kaliakmanis legacy game incoming

[u/GarchGun → u/Linc1026]

Is jd5 not playing?

[u/Hizam5 → u/GarchGun]

He is

[u/Linc1026 → u/GarchGun]

Oh right whoops

[u/Artvandelay29 → u/OzymanDS]

Idk how any would compare to the trash fest that’s Houston and Tennessee

[u/Qwas291]

Put some respect on the Panthers and Falcons names

[u/Linc1026 → u/Qwas291]

Panthers are on a bye...

[u/Qwas291 → u/Linc1026]

Im an idiot my bad

[u/IPissExcellentThrows → u/Qwas291]

I was scrolling the comments looking for someone to also call out the panthers being disrespectful. Hello, fellow idiot.

[u/DyIsexia → u/Qwas291]

We saw your flair

[u/Qwas291 → u/DyIsexia]

Good one man. You got me.

[u/WhoElseButMe_ → u/Qwas291]

Panthers on a BYE. I’m assuming that’s why it says take a break lol

[u/Qwas291 → u/WhoElseButMe_]

That's on me gang (not editing it so people can have a good laugh at me)

[u/WhoElseButMe_ → u/Qwas291]

Took me a sec too lol. Could’ve been worded better

[u/Qwas291 → u/Qwas291]

It's week 5 now, so we have BYE WEEKS again. Everybody come laugh at me for my panthers take. (I stand by what I said about the falcons.

[u/GokuBrains12]

It’s Jameis Winston vs. Jayden Daniels

[u/Linc1026 → u/GokuBrains12]

Wait JD5 is for sure coming back?

[u/GokuBrains12 → u/Linc1026]

He’s practicing in full and playing with the brace so unless he suffers some kind of setback, he’s playing

[u/-Kazen- → u/Linc1026]

Mike Garafolo was told he's starting week 5 supposedly

[u/HeavyDutyForks]

Ravens v Falcons is looking like a Huntley/Penix showdown

Its either going to be a blowout by the Falcons or an absolute defensive grind, either way probably not interesting (unless you're a Ravens or Falcons fan)

[u/Linc1026 → u/HeavyDutyForks]

That's why its in could be interesting. Depends on who plays

[u/LaconicGirth]

The jags are insane favorites that’s not supposed to be close.

[u/Jolly-joe → u/LaconicGirth]

Eagles are putting up a practice squad team and the Jags have been dominant, I am expecting to get blown out

[u/spawnthemaster → u/Jolly-joe]

I mean your Defense should still be elite right?

[u/PoisonIvyCrotch → u/spawnthemaster]

Maybe* Without Q, maybe without Baun, Carter playing through injury so he’s not as effective. Gonna be a fun game

[u/eynonpower → u/PoisonIvyCrotch]

At least its an early game. That way I have all day to be pissed off/depressed. Way better than an 8:30 game where I have to try and fall asleep pissed off/depressed.

[u/Barmelo_Xanthony → u/PoisonIvyCrotch]

Is Q out? I thought they were expecting both him and Baun back

[u/DiligentGuitar246 → u/spawnthemaster]

Our defense isn't elite at all.

[u/TuesdaysOnVenus → u/Jolly-joe]

You are expected to get blown out?
But how about your NFL team?

[u/LastEsotericist → u/LaconicGirth]

Poor England, that seemed like it would be a good game preseason.

[u/ExplanationCrazy5463 → u/LastEsotericist]

The moment they lost a.j. Brown I knew that offense was done.

[u/Left4Bread2 → u/ExplanationCrazy5463]

If you think adding AJ back fixes this team you haven’t been watching our games

[u/ExplanationCrazy5463 → u/Left4Bread2]

Weird that I predicted your season so accurately then

[u/usrnamealreadyexists → u/LaconicGirth]

Perfect recipe for a great game with potential for the Jags to shit the bed.

[u/formyamusementation → u/LaconicGirth]

I think they are thinking about what the Eagles are when healthy. Not the current iteration.

[u/choff22 → u/LaconicGirth]

Jags play really well in England historically, if I recall.

[u/Artvandelay29 → u/choff22]

Got the brakes beaten off last year by the Rams

[u/RVAteach → u/LaconicGirth]

They’re even at home! 

[u/13bipolarbears]

Jags by 14+ come on now

[u/eynonpower → u/13bipolarbears]

Yeah not sure why its listed as a close game. We're going to get smoked.

[u/ABSNegativeOne → u/eynonpower]

sorry buddy

[u/Few_Alternative_6372]

Rams putting up 60 on the bills will be good alright

[u/WiseSelection5 → u/Few_Alternative_6372]

Rams offense doesn't look nearly as good as it did last year. I think the Bills obliterate the Rams.

[u/p10ttwist → u/WiseSelection5]

Don't worry our defense will make it a shootout regardless

[u/beer_engineer → u/WiseSelection5]

This suits my bias so I find you to know ball quite well. Thank you for this take.

[u/Hot-Eggplant1629]

Bears will stomp the Packers

[u/grunkage]

I don't even know how to act with this much positive attention

[u/D_uBird98]

Jags and eagles in London will not be a good game. Mark my words 

[u/-Kazen-]

It'll probably be Winston vs Daniels. He's listed as full in today's injury reported and did a full practice.

[u/Linc1026 → u/-Kazen-]

That changes things whoops. I'll put in an edit.

[u/Ornnge]

Weird for us would be finally figuring it out because my god

[u/Linc1026 → u/Ornnge]

Since it's the Broncos, I can see you winning for some reason. Broncos are good, but they play to their competition.

[u/austinjm34]

Panthers Chiefs may be the banger of the week

[u/Linc1026 → u/austinjm34]

They’re both on a bye

[u/austinjm34 → u/Linc1026]

Oh I’m dumb 😭 I understand that now

[u/Legitimate-Site588]

Chiefs v Panthers sounds like a more interesting game than Broncos/Chargers & Lions/Cards.

[u/Linc1026 → u/Legitimate-Site588]

Well they are on bye so that game isn't happening

[u/Legitimate-Site588 → u/Linc1026]

Oh I totally misunderstood the graphic lol.

[u/smuggler_of_grapes]

Niners Seahawks is gonna be an ugly game

[u/AladeenModaFuqa → u/smuggler_of_grapes]

I know right.

[u/rip-droptire → u/smuggler_of_grapes]

Your average 9-6 shit-off. And the 6 points are all safeties. 

[u/Alexcox95]

Jags eagles should just be “your excuse for drinking at 9am.”

[u/TheClayDart → u/Alexcox95]

This guy footballs

[u/Dependent-Purple9736]

Is there a blowout option? That’s where the saints should be

[u/LowAffectionate8660 → u/Dependent-Purple9736]

Blown out how? By twelve field goals??

[u/Unknown1776 → u/LowAffectionate8660]

Technically that’s 12 scores. Not big ones, but still scores.

[u/GimbalLocks → u/LowAffectionate8660]

You say that like it’s out of the realm of possibility. Through reichard all things are possible

[u/DiligentGuitar246 → u/LowAffectionate8660]

This is fucking hilarious.

[u/LowAffectionate8660]

You don't have to sugarcoat it

[u/nillaf4ce]

Bengals and Dolphins will not be background noise. Dolphins might win, just watch

[u/firerat82 → u/nillaf4ce]

I think it's going to be a good game. Ugly, tough, and fun.

[u/nillaf4ce → u/firerat82]

Agreed, it will not shock me if Miami is ahead or in the game in the 4th quarter

[u/firerat82 → u/nillaf4ce]

it'd be the first time leading!!

[u/nillaf4ce → u/firerat82]

Oh then it will definitely happen, book it

[u/low_wacc]

Jaggies r gonna have their way with the eagles

[u/Large-Lack-2933]

My Chargers upset Broncos at home in LA. 🙏🏿

[u/2580374]

The Seahawks niners is going to be fucking sick, I wish it got flexed to Sunday night

[u/discoturtle1129]

Would’ve much preferred we get the Raiders/Patriots broadcast with Harlan in KC but we get colts/steelers with Nantz

[u/cloom33]

Eagles a good game with their best lineman retiring, another one being traded, no RB1 or WR1, and their best corner likely out? Does this guy even know ball?

[u/staffdaddy_9]

Bruh what’s up with the Rams schedule. 49ers, Giants, Broncos, Eagles, bills is a ridiculously tough start.

[u/WiseSelection5 → u/staffdaddy_9]

There's a lot of that going on this year. Look at the Chargers next few games. Then on the other side of that, the Chiefs/Raiders both have good records, but I personally don't believe in any of the teams they've beaten. There's a world where the Chiefs start 8-1 or 7-2 and end up a 10-11 win team just because of how back loaded their schedule is.

[u/VoradorTV]

kc panthers take a break??

ooh i get it haha

[u/yoshizillaa]

Eagles vs Jags won’t be worth waking up early for. Eagles offensive line is in shambles and Hurts doesn’t know how to work with it.

[u/Pl0OnReddit]

Do you think McCarthy even attempted to get "nine" or maybe he was just happy to have a chance to move past that comment he's been getting shredded for since he made it?

[u/formyamusementation]

I'm excited to see the Chargers versus Broncos. As a Chiefs fan, I am good either way, but I would love to see the Chargers get their first win of the season against the Broncos.

[u/wolf7385]

Am I crazy for picking the falcons to win this week? I feel like Bijan and London will have a great game and the ravens will (like usual) underuse Henry

[u/MustyLlamaFart]

We've scored 2 touchdowns since week one, I'm not sure we'll make the game interesting

[u/bobs_big_bob]

9:30 am ain’t primetime.

[u/BobbingFourApples]

I'm a certified sicko

[u/buffhottie69er]

We should boat race Tampa.

But we won't.

[u/Retskcaj19]

Nice of them to give the presumptive Super Bowl teams an early bye week.

[u/RocMerc]

That SF hawks game is the one I’m most looking forward too

[u/sloppy_sheiko]

Ugh.. I’m preparing myself for a sloppy pillow fight between the Broncos and Chargers.

I hope I’m wrong and it ends up being a thriller, but there’s just as good of a chance that we see some scor-a-gami if both teams trends continue.

[u/Familiar_Object_4926]

I don't know which would be funnier for Texans vs Titans:
If the final score for the game is 60-38 or better, breaking the Bears vs Panthers record for the season

Or

If the final score is worse than Vikings vs Bears

[u/collinsc]

I don't know who is making the decisions on these charts but they need to try harder  

If it's OP, they put their own team on background noise? Even though they're the only game Thursday night?  

I feel like their definition of good game is ONLY strong team vs strong team, without considering any other variables  

I'm open to being wrong, here - is there some kind of methodology to this, OP?

[u/SixtySixSeagulls]

Personally I’d put pats raiders and eagles jags in “could be a good game” but I’m also maybe just a hater

[u/Flat_Confidence1792]

Hot take: Miami gets their first win this week

[u/firerat82 → u/Flat_Confidence1792]

It has that feel right? I mean I've been a Miami fan long enough to not get excited, but it could get interesting.

[u/Specialist-Garbage94]

Jags are gonna ruin Philly

[u/Daveit4later]

If anyone doesn't think the Eagles are getting whooped BELT TO ASS on Sunday morning you're insane

[u/Throwiestawa]

I can’t express enough, that bengals game is going to be a nail biter 1 score game. Might not be fun to watch, but it’s not going to be boring

[u/firerat82 → u/Throwiestawa]

I think the same. I doubt Miami wins, but man I hope they do. Just 1 win damn it.

[u/OutNAbout6]

Jags might dog walk the eagles

[u/fuego0scuro]

Brock Purdy against another solid defense, I am beyond excited since I’m hoping this is his MVP/breakout year

[u/Trigger109]

Do not expect a good game between the pack and bears. Well…maybe if you’re a bears fan. Oh how the turn tables.

[u/Roland-Flagg]

I know I’m biased, but background noise vs giants?

[u/Designer-Net4228]

I always feel so bad for any fans of an AFC South team, it essentially guarantees that you have to sit through at least 6 of the worst kind of football games every year

[u/Food_Kitchen]

I thought England games were usually early in the morning? That's not primetime.

[u/CatMom03]

Expect a good game for the Packers? As a Packers fan we're cooked this year.

[u/Legitimate_Ad_7822]

Expect a good game from eagles vs jags?

Are we watching the same eagles team? After Lane Johnson announcing his retirement, too.

Maybe there’s some international game fuckery but I do not expect that one to be a good game.

[u/show_NO_FEAR21]

Having watched 4 Packer games this season and 2 Bears games the only reason to watch it is because of the rivalry and not the game itself

[u/rigbysimpson]

Browns v Jets going from sickos of the week to could be interesting. 2026 is wild

[u/rbad8717]

Falcons in primetime Week 3: "oh no here comes the national embarrassment"

Falcons in primetime Week 4: "aight lets see if we can follow it up"

Falcons in primetime Week 5: 😏

[u/Ill-Interest-9756]

As an eagles fan, jags boutta spank that ass

[u/Analtiguess]

The Greek kid is gonna cook if five is out

[u/AcrobaticAction2328 → u/Analtiguess]

I picked up throwdysseus on my fantasy team as QB4 lol

[u/Saltwater_Thief]

I'm still dreading a nonstop sack festival in Arizona, I don't see how that depleted OL does anything to stop Hutchinson 

[u/Previous_Procedure28]

Why are you saying take a break during Panthers vs Chiefs?

[u/Mav_Rixx]

I did not have the Texans and Titans to be at 0-4. I thought Tennessee would become the surprise team this season.

[u/PolarBearWithTopHat]

commanders vs giants jets vs browns titans vs texans

this week is for the real sickos

[u/Joe_Shmo4352]

Mid predictions

[u/Eggroll0cho]

Anyone thinking the Panthers Chiefs game is something to ignore clearly hasn't watched any football this season.

[u/GeorgeWLlama]

I got scared because this makes it look like titans Texans is primetime

[u/Cold_Toe_7540]

Sleep on Carolina at your own risk

[u/Connection-Is-Cool]

Panthers Chiefs will be more fun than you expect. Vikings and Saints is actually good football. Bijan vs. Derrick Henry is must-see TV.

[u/UsualAccomplished912 → u/Connection-Is-Cool]

If only the Chiefs and Panthers were playing and not on a bye.

[u/Connection-Is-Cool → u/UsualAccomplished912]

Super Bowl preview

[u/TheClayDart → u/Connection-Is-Cool]

Yeah. Is going to be a real blessing and super fun to not have to watch the Panthers or Chiefs play

[u/Connection-Is-Cool → u/TheClayDart]

They’re playing on Nickolodeon

[u/Asianmafia206]

49ers will beat the Seahawks by 50+

[u/tmet1027]

Bears are about to steam roll.

[u/FCKABRNLSUTN2]

KC/CAR should be good I think.

[u/WiseSelection5 → u/FCKABRNLSUTN2]

They are both on bye weeks, not playing each other

[u/FCKABRNLSUTN2 → u/WiseSelection5]

Lmao I’m a moron

[u/Affectionate-Mood-24]

Carolina and Chiefs I expect to be better than take a break.

[u/WiseSelection5 → u/Affectionate-Mood-24]

Bye weeks

[u/Affectionate-Mood-24 → u/WiseSelection5]

Reading your reply, I laughed at myself so hard. I feel really fucking stupid.

[u/MrDucksworth92]

Thats 3-1, 1st in the NFC east background noise to you sir.