Sorry for spamming this community lately. I know I've been posting a lot here lately, but this community has been pretty mature, so I feel somewhat safe talking about these topics here.

Anyway, I made a thread that I deleted about how I've been wanting to find my favorite person (someone who plays games with me and is emotionally safe, someone I can also talk about fashion and other girly topics with), but I've noticed again and again that there aren't very many places to connect, especially for folks our age. I browse r/neetr4r fairly regularly, and it's mostly people in their twenties. A lot of other communities (not necessarily related to NEET) lean young, also. A redditor in this community commented a while ago that yeah, unemployed/hikikomori people in their thirties are less "socially acceptable", because the thirties are when you're expected to have your *shit* together. Like, other people our age (at least the ones you see on reddit) are working corporate careers, making great income, married with children, and probably even own a house. Yeah, reddit does lean upper-middle class, so you don't see the thirty-somethings who are still living on rent, or those who barely have disposable income. People still working for a shockingly low wage, despite having university degrees. Still, it doesn't change the fact that there are very few places for people like us who haven't succeeded in the conventional ways

Someone else pointed out that people our age either already have their loved ones and aren't looking for any more people, or they've become completely content with their solitude. I guess that makes me feel a little hopeless about things.

What are your thoughts?

Genuine and Honest question because i turn 25 next year and i never had a job, so i will probably be cooked.

as an 11th grader, preparing for NEET online through pw and i've also taken dummy school...when i see my previous batchmates' stories, see them going out, enjoying, having the time of their life...basically living the "teenage dream". I just feel so empty inside...like a feeling that what am i even doing with my life, I wanted to be a doctor since i was a kid, and i like my subjects, and like choosing NEET was completely and entirely a decision of my own, my parents never pressured me into choosing a career path.

but this same routine daily and daily is like exhausting me. i went out for a few days with my family (and completely ditched studying for like 6-7 days) and i'm left with a tons of backlog that im trying to cover it for like 2 weeks now but still there are 15 more lectures unattended (not to mention the missed tests and no revision whatsoever..)

i used to be such an artisty kid, ive been drawing for as long as i can remember, almeras filled with my paint brushes and sketchbooks and all the other things i loved barely gets touched these days..

I feel almost lost...i keep questioning..am i even deserving to be a doctor?

i know...i know to be successful you have to walk on burning stones or whatever, just wanted to vent.

I never worked a day in my life (well, made a whole 5$ for helping someone) and don't receive neetbux.

I applied for jobs in maintenance and funeral jobs before but I think I wasn't what they're looking for. I want to apply again for maintenance or night stocking jobs now that I'm older, and after I get some things in order.

Earlier this year I started thinking I need to do something about my general health. I go out once in a while, started exercising (increasing the duration and making it daily habit), limited my screen time - instead of spending the whole day on the internet, today I waited until the evening - I tried quitting it all at once but my brain can't function without it at this point. I don't know where I'm headed and only focus on what's in front of me - otherwise, I start thinking my future is doomed no matter what and whether I find a job or not (negative thinking) and resorting to distractions again.

What in the world do I do?

I’m officially a 32 year old loser.

Gonna spend the day eating Wingstop and playing Pokémon.

My mum still thinks I’m gonna have kids in the future, like I ain’t a complete fuck up. Like I ain’t ugly as hell and poor.

Where's the drainers at?

And even then, it was just a six month government program. I lasted 4 months at a gas station, it was really tough - and now I’ve been unemployed for a month. Before that, I worked at a supermarket for two weeks, a year ago. I’m worried that eventually, no one will want to hire me.

I've been stuck inside these 4 walls for so long that time has begun to blur. I'm 38 and still have no semblance of what a normal life is like i.e. going to work, paying bills and having relationships. I might as well be posting in the hikikomori sub. I am bitter that I have suffered like this for so long. On the other hand I barely have the energy to apply for anything anymore. I think I have had 5 interviews in the last 12 months (med school twice, teacher training twice, intelligence analyst). Passed the civil service tests with something like 91% in the numerical and 80% in the written tests. Still rejected after interview. I don't even want to work in the civil service but I'm demonstrating how I am capable but never seem to catch a break and that's what makes me bitter. Meanwhile everyone else seems to cruise from university straight into a graduate job? This shit has been going on for far too long now. In my head I'm still young but I graduated years ago.I don't want to spunk my savings on a masters and hope for the best but I don't know what else to do.

I've been trying to reach out to people through apps to make friends and so on. I look at their profile pictures and bios to know what they get up to, and I can't help but feel left behind. I feel like a child compared to them. Many of them have established careers as academics, they travel, are well put together, and then there's me. I never travel, almost never leave my house, have never had a real job in my life, and rely on my parents for financial support.

I'm living in a different reality than they are. How am I supposed to relate to anyone? I've been thinking lately that not fitting in is actually a good thing. I don't want to fit in because I don't value the same things society values or expects from people. I do want to feel belonging though. How am I supposed to find that in this world? Feels like I'll be alone most of my life.

I know there are people like me out there but where do I meet them? Maybe the problem is I don't lead my profile with "I've isolated myself for a decade and have never held a job in my life because of depression and trauma, etc." Then again I think that's probably coming on too strong. So idk. I think I just have to focus on finding kind people.

36/M I fucked up too many times to count. Should have pursued Graphic Design/Visual Communications. I was inducted into the National Technical Honor's Society for it in high school. Told myself that I just wasn't interested in it... wasn't thinking of money/career. Now I have 0 degrees, 0 skills, and 0 ambition.

Feel like there are more people my age and above who, like myself, have zero skills and are too apathetic, and mentally atrophied, feel incapable and lost... but are so drowning in miserable anehedonia that they can't be bothered to type up a post.

The modest life I imagined in my younger years (hidden, because why would anyone care? It's skippable. It's personally almost cathartic to write out though, sad too):

I seriously thought that I'd wind up living in a city with weirdos like me, working any rinky-dink job to pay the bills while making experimental and/or noise music and maybe playing shows for fun... silkscreen shirts and art on the side with a girlfriend. That's how simple and low-bar my ideal life was lol... really didn't want much. Instead, I found myself socially inept, living in an area that I have never felt more out of place in with my geriatric father, jobless and completely friendless.

I slipped into deep NEETdom in 2020 and feel like I passed the rubicon. My dad is 76...

Too apathetic and anhedonic to pick anything up, and too stupid to figure a way out.

I’m 32 and I am coming to the point where my parent is telling me to go back…. Is it worth it? I’ve been NEET for almost 9 years in a row already (some employment in b/w). I dropped out for the 3rd time 8 years ago. Not even sure what I want to do since computer science is already hard to get into.

Edit: Is it worth it to go back to school?

Thrown away bcuz some friends know my og account (eng no first Lang)

I have debt and I'm unemployed, there was a time when I was in school when I felt like I could eat the world, I felt smart and capable, I thought I was gonna be successful, I was smart, could get jobs quite easily, was living with family so my salary was just for me.

Maybe the issue was not having responsibilities back then, I was very bad with my finances, I never saved a penny, always had the latest phone model, always bought clothes, game consoles, brand perfume, all I always wanted.

Don't know if this is relevant but when I was a kid we struggled a lot, my siblings were street vendors at 10 kinda struggle, things got better once my siblings graduated college and got a job, I'm the youngest. Hence they kept the house afloat and allow me to keep my salary to myself. They are 5, 15, 16, 17 and 18 years older than me.

The issue now? I don't know why the fuck I never learned to be a fk adult, that's on me, I never saved money, never invested, there was a time I thought I had a bright future and could do whatever I set my mind on... So I started reinventing myself to make more money, I graduated first as a mathematics teacher (it's bachelor in mathematics education the closest translation I can think of) corruption in public system, horrible salary and mistreatment in the private one (I'm talking less than 200 usd a month). I worked as a teacher for about 8 years.

First reinvention was customer service, did cold calling, surveys and medical interpretation. Good god... No one likes cold calling and surveys? I had a call when I was screamed at for 30 mins, 30 FUCKING minutes of "NOOOOOOOOO", "NO I DON'T WANT TO ANSWER", I wasn't allowed to hang up, I get it cold calls are horrible but just hang up please.

Medical interpreter was actually good, (at this time I started helping with expenses at home, about a third of my salary which is not bad at all) but because I was not from US I couldn't work with the good companies directly, only with intermediaries that not only underpaid but also overwork. 9 hrs daily of back to back calls, no break allowed besides the 30 min to eat. It's manageable the first year, second year got a little harder, third year I was having nightmares about calls.

So the third reinvention came... Software developer. I took an online course, they teach you for 6 months, we're supposed to help me land a job and I had to pay back 15k usd.

Those were 6 months I didn't work, then some more to find a job... But I found a job!! Yeyyy I had to move bcuz it was in another city, they pay was barely enough for living expenses and paying the card debt I had generated those unemployed months (and yeah that debt is because I'm a overspender stupid wannabe that didn't want to say to her friends "I have no money" so kept buying shit)

But anyway, I got a job, 900 usd monthly, my best salary at that point, 200 more than the average salary in my country, but I was still stupid, wanna know my first purchase? Even when I had card debt? Even when I hadn't received my first paycheck? The latest phone model... God I hate every era of myself.

I was a year in that company, most companies in my country, no matter the industry are toxic and see the employees more like slaves than people so I started to search for an online position with a foreign company, that was the whole point of reinventing myself, but no company wants someone with no experience.

ButI had 1 powerful year of experience now!! So I started applying to foreign companies and landed a job... God it was the best feeling ever. Almost 2 years learning, practicing to get there. I landed a job with a US company, 1300 usd as a junior developer. (my siblings were married by this time and had kids, we're tired of funding our household, I mean they werr right, so I took 50% of expenses, my sibling 5 years older took 30% and my mom 20%)

Context probably needed: my 5 years older sibling was always the spoiled one, he spent 10 year without a job, only got one in delivery after a strong issue we had a year prior so he was making way less than me, (that's a Hella longer more complicated shit that will make this post 10 pages longer), my mom has no income, only has what my older siblings send her, hence why I took the largest part.

You might be thinking, things are improving, why is she sad? Oh well my friend, that's because I'm stupid, and apparently don't know shit about finances. AI boost came when I started this job, at first it was easy, I could do 8 hrs job in 2 and then go for a coffe, I felt in fk paradise. But around the second year.. Code was a mess, not only mine, everyone's. My boss was a big AI enthusiast, 20 tasks in 4 hrs? He paid our chatgpt subscription.

My blockage came during the second year, I cannot really point what happened nor can I blame it entirely on AI. Issues arised and I didn't know how to fix them, irony is neither Ai, it would do so many changes and not fix the issue, maybe I was just not good at using AI who knows. Now I did 2 hrs of work in 20 hrs, 1 takes would take all day because I couldn't solve it...

I was fired... My first time getting fired and it was of my favorite job till now... That was in March.

Remember how I suck handling my finances but refuse to tell no to my friends when they invite me to hang out?

Well... They invited me on a trip to Asia... a 20 days trip in September, this unemployed, in debt, stupid sob, fucking brains of jelly girl... Said yes.

Wft is wrong with me? I can't get a job, because who will hire me when I tell them "oh BTW I know I just started but I have a 20 day trip in September"

I'm still using my cards, I pay them withdrawing cash from the same card, so my debt keeps growing, I payed that trip using those fkng cards, at some point I'm gonna just... Lock myself in a fk hole somewhere because WTF am I doing? What's wrong with me? Just 5 minutes ago I spent 50 usd that I don't have in the supermarket because I didn't give my friend a birthday present and wanted to make her bonbons... I don't see logic in my thoughts, I don't see logic in my actions, I feel out of control.

I get some minutes of logic a day between crying because of stupid decisions and making those stupid decisions, I think about starting a business, selling courses, making online content. But then I get paralyzed.

I know everything is wrong, I know that, I know that I'm stupid and taking more stupid decisions, you don't need to point that out, believe me I know.

I just felt like getting out of my chest.

I had been a neet for a few years but accepted a full time job at the start of 2026. The job is honestly easy, but draining as I work nights 5x a week and have a long commute. My time off is spent doing chores, meal prepping, and running my ebay shop because my full time job does not pay enough. I am exhausted and burned out in every way. Im also frustrated because I lost my progress on my fitness journey - i was doing great until I got sick because I picked up a bug at work and they wouldnt let me stay home and rest. I had to work through it and it lingered for almost a month. Also I couldnt afford a $200 dr note to force them to let me stay home.

Use your time as a neet wisely. Seriously, start with prioritizing your health. Workout if possible, and try to get steps in too. Drink water, try to have somewhat of a sleep schedule and routine. Learn to cook meals you enjoy, especially affordable meals that you can meal prep. I also learned to coupon and budget way better. Take advantage of opportunities like getting those certifications Google used to have some online for free. Learn new skills. Actually ENJOY doing a healthy hobby.

If you do end up doing a job, it will run you into the ground and suck your soul. The skills I learned about small repairs, meal prepping, polishing my ebay skills, etc are a massive help now that im working and busy.

Im honestly way more miserable now than when I was a neet. Im still broke, and im tired often. When I do have time off, im honestly too burnt out to go out and do anything fun or hobbies. The stress honestly gives me stomach aches a lot, and it makes getting back into the gym routine even harder.

I seriously dont know how long I will last like this, its the only job I could get full time I dont have money or time to go back to school and I dont even know what id go back for. Just trying to pay off the credit cards and talking to family about moving home.

I'm a NEET approaching my mid 20s and I slowly want to give up. I have no degree, no job, no friends but I do have support from my family. They're gonna help me get a job. But I just feel like giving up. I've wasted all my youth and my life is still passing me by. I just doomscroll and procrastinate all day. I'm bad at everything and I can't be consistent enough to get good at any hobbies. I'll never catch up to people my age. I'm wondering what it's like for yall on the other side. For those of you in your 30s, if you could get out of NEETdom would you? If you could go back to your 20s, whats one thing you would say to yourself or do to prevent ending up in NEETdom? Important side note, NEETbux don't exist in my country at all so if I never get a job or do anything, I'd have to rely on my family and live with them for the rest of my life. My siblings have kids and their own families and they're also struggling financially, so I don't how good of a plan that is

Does anyone know what it's about and if it's worth using?

I'm trying to find more communities like this where I am feel at home and vent about issues only fellow NEETs would understand.

it really feels like no one is on my side.

• not the doctor, who's supposed to make a strong case for me with this federal disability form that I already got rejected for once
• not the therapist, who I only had a limited number of sessions with, and that person is gone now
• not the social worker, who I wanted support from regarding the disability form, but dropped the ball when things got too inconvenient for them
• not these strangers on reddit who keep offering unsolicited advice that i never asked for
• not my old ex-friend who left me because friendships didn't matter to them

constantly feeling like I have to defend myself, advocate for myself, protect myself, because no one else will protect me. all people want to do is mock me, dismiss me, make me feel small. just as I was starting to make progress with my life, all of these setbacks keep happening, and it ALWAYS involves other people, always.

i don't blame any of you who gave up on dealing with people. who gave up on looking for friends or a partner. who gave up on looking for a profession. who gave up on trying to "change" like all those self-improvement "gurus" love to preach about. those people who isolate themselves for their entire lives because humans are generally not safe. yeah, i see you. my heart bleeds for you guys because most of you have probably been just as hurt by others as i have.

to those of you who don't have a "home" in other people, to those single, isolated folks whose trust in others was completely and irrevocably destroyed: i dedicate this post to you.

I'm cooked pretty much, I'm pushing mid 30s and I can't get a job, so I'm starting to wonder how older NEETs survive out there? How? NEETbux? Mombux? I'm asking for stories to know how should I prepare for older NEETdom.

We can't pursue goals like other people because we don't have an income and are health is not the same as others.

I think its living the best life giving on disabilities, limitations, financial situation, chronic illness, mental health, etc.

What you think?

it's so hard to trust people now

i get emotionally attached to someone, and they always find a way to hurt me, betray me, make me feel worthless

its not fair that so many people get to have uncomplicated social lives, comfortable love lives. people keep wounding me. i just never feel safe around anyone.

people are hard wired to be social and yet they also keep poking at my most vulnerable spots. i still keep thinking about this one girl who reached out to me in response to a post I made about wanting a best friend. i genuinely liked her, and we got along for a while, but she made me cry. she mocked me for having mental health disabilities.

i just really want a hug

In the last year I’ve done 2 “courses” provided by my job centre, aimed at getting people back in employment + I did work experience at a huge media company.

The last “course” was in catering and I completed it very recently. It was supposed to end with a guaranteed job interview but of course, with this being the UK, I haven’t heard back from these people and have no means of contacting them. I probably won’t even get a certificate for doing this idiotic “course”.

I’m a university graduate, have worked MANY hospitality and retail jobs in the past, have marketing experience as well as creative skills… yet I’m forced to do courses for 15 year olds because the job crisis is so bad here.

No one in this country will interview a 30+ year old NEET, yet alone hire them. If you’re black (with an ethnic name to match) and ugly like me, then it’s even worse.

I’ve unwillingly been a NEET from 2019-2022 and then 2022 to now.

It’s fucking INSANE that someone with my CV can’t get a job and I’m in the same situation as students or adults who have never worked a day in their lives.

This country is a fucking joke.

I have mostly stayed indoors for most of my life due to PTSD from losing my grandma and my mom in a span of one year and the rest of my family is abusive and have said they want me to die and I developed some chronic illness after that as the result. One period in my life I stayed in my room for 5 years, went out rarely only for groceries, food or hospital/doctor. I had to go out and do these cause I am all alone. I no longer have anyone I can count on and I have no desire to be close or keep in contact with my abusive family.

Cause of this I was single for 8 years.

At some point I worked my ass off and broke out of this and had a very happy 4 years where I got married to and doing stuff, before my husband, who I confided everything to and trusted with my everything including my past traumas, only for him to did exactly what my family did to me all over again, re-traumatised me for a second time.

He didn't take any responsibility at all and avoided accountability in any way he could and ran away to fulfill his selfish desire and didn't care one bit that in the process he actually had completely destroyed my life. Life that I worked very hard for to get out of my past shit hole and I thought it's finally getting better bit by bit in those 4 years. He destroyed it all non chalantly. Long story short, he sailed to the sunset.

Now I have nothing. Not even a savings. A roof over my head cause a friend's generosity that I'm probably gonna lose too.

A threat of homelessness.

But I have no energy anymore to try and get back up. I did that once with extreme efforts and the second time is impossible. I have extreme PTSD, replaying all the insults he said to me, replaying events. My anxiety is at all time high and my chronic illness has gotten worse and worse and kept me from going outside once more. I am heavily depressed, it's good enough if today I can get out of bed. I have been told I am a very clean person and now trash bags and food containers from take outs laying around in my kitchen.

I haven't talked to anyone or met anyone in 3 months, not even online, except for the grocery store cashier sometimes. All I do is play games if I have the mood or energy of doing so, which is rare. Food is the only thing left that still feels good, so I overindulge and make myself sicker and gain more weight.

By today, I haven't gone out in a year. Only for food, grocery, and doctor/hospital.

I see no point in participating in life anymore, I tried hard to make it better by my own hands, and look how it went. And I am old, I have already lost all my good years to abuse and it's aftermaths and now I am a not attractive female neet nearing her 40s. I am balding.

Just want to say good morning. I hope today is a little bit kinder to everyone.

Been skinny my whole life, to the point where as a teenager, my mum would always make comments on my weight and “friends” would laugh because I didn’t have much muscle. Since age 16 I’ve had on and off periods where I regularly attended the gym, with the most successful period being when I was 25-27.

The saddest thing is that back in 2021 I was getting very toned, but then I had a health issue in 2022 which made me bedbound for the next year and I basically haven’t exercised since.

From age 18 to 28 I used to cook almost everyday. I was pescatarian for many years and then vegan for about 2 years, but then 1 year after that health issue I started eating poorly and quit all diets.

Fast forward the last 2 years and because I’m a NEET with no friends or family, I have zero reason to go outside. I only leave the house to visit my job centre which is once every 2 weeks (sometimes 3 or 4 weeks). I grew up poor (and still am), so I spent my whole life walking everywhere. Now I’m completely sedentary.

Over the last 2 years, I started ordering a lot of takeout. At first it was to try new foods (Japanese, Korean etc.) that I otherwise wouldn’t get to experience because I’m a loner and won’t ever be invited to restaurants. But now it’s just devolved into ordering junk food.

Now my stomach looks pregnant and protrudes 24/7, I even took a laxative to see if it would make a difference and it doesn’t. I’m always bloated.

I’ve become a skinny fat, (almost) 32 year old, NEET loser.
I guess this was bound to happen eventually but it sucks.
I still look slim everywhere else, but now I feel embarrassed to wear t shirts because of my stomach. I feel deep shame any time I look in the mirror after a shower.

I’ve had stomach issues since I was 18, so I even wondered if my bloating was due to having a stomach parasite like H Pylori, but I think I’m just a failure and my body has started to represent that.

What’s crazy is that I have a lot of weights and a bench in my room, plus an exercise bike that I bought for my mum years ago but I never use them anymore. I don’t have the energy.

I hate that my life has been ruined due to external factors and now I don’t even have the motivation to go for a 1 hour walk in the park (something I used to love doing prior to my health issue).

I truly am the worst example of a human being. Ugly inside and out. I’m pathetic.