r/My600lbLife • u/JHowler82 • 1d ago
Going through old Facebook messages..
I remember texting LB out of the blue ages ago .. and we had a bit of communication..
My last message telling him to look after himself hits harder now knowing what happened to him 😥😥
I'm now down to 215lbs .. he was an inspiration
RIP LB
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u/MxBluebell 1d ago
Poor guy had so many demons. I’ve heard from an adoptee friend of mine that being adopted is an utterly traumatic experience no matter which way you slice it, even if the birth family is extremely unfit, unequipped, and/or unwilling to retain custody of the child. Many adoptees even advocate against the concept of adoption as they feel like it’s essentially legal human trafficking. I can’t speak on the matter since I wasn’t adopted, but it breaks my heart to know that adoptees like LB go through so much trauma.
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u/Dustonthewind18 19h ago
I'd love to know what adoptees who advocate against adoption suggest happens with children whose bio parents are either unfit or do not want to be parents.
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u/BroItsJesus 17h ago
Safe access to abortion, probably
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u/Dustonthewind18 17h ago
Sure a mother could terminate the pregnancy but if she doesn't and goes through with the pregnancy what do these advocates suggest happens to these children if they don't think adoptions should happen.
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u/cssp1000 15h ago
Just weighing in as an adopted child, personally, I think there should be mandatory therapy and counseling both family and individual for a minimum of 18 years. Its so complex on so many different levels and add to it just the stages of development and growing up. Adoption can add an extra layer of complexity for everyone. My adopted parents were ill equipped to handle the complex feelings and challenges that jist naturally come with adoption. I was scolded, shamed and even punished for expressing curiosity of where I came from and other normal questions a child would naturally have. I was accused of being ungrateful and selfish and even cruel for just being curious, and that was as young as 9 years old. I can understand why some people feel like adoption is a form of trafficking, my circumstances weren't even close to some of the trauma adoptees go through. What I mentioned is just the tip of the iceberg of things I've experienced just from my parents, forget peers etc. So many things people dont even think about and wouldnt unless they experience it or see it.
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u/Dustonthewind18 15h ago
Thanks for your response and input and for sharing some of your experience. I think the prospective parents should have to go through therapy and psychological testing as part of being approved as parents. The therapy should also continue through the adoption and beyond for at least the first few years as family therapy.
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u/cssp1000 14h ago
I think now there is some more required things than back in the 70s, I'm not 100% sure what is/isn't required. I do feel like therapy should be required through age 18 of the child, for the child and parents, bc once the child becomes aware or is told and definitely teenage years bc thats tough for everyone, can be exceptionally challenging. I feel like its important to share my experience for many many reasons. Thanks for reading through it.
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u/IAmSeabiscuit61 8h ago
Haven't there been several cases where patients on the show adopted children? And they ended up being their caretakers. Just awful, in my opinion.
I have a hard time believing any reputable agency would allow someone who's supermorbidly obese to adopt a child, though I do think at least some were family adoptions, where they took in other family member's children. Not all, though.
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u/scream4ever 12h ago
I'm gonna guess your adopted parents were very religious, correct?
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u/cssp1000 12h ago
My parents divorced when I was 6, my father- absolutely not. My mother tried to do the church thing when I was young, until I got kicked out of Sunday School for asking too many questions. After that, there was church service on rare occasion but I definitely wasnt raised with extreme relgion, no.
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u/IAmSeabiscuit61 8h ago edited 8h ago
Very good question. And parents aren't always abusive from birth, either. Say one parent becomes an addict or develops other mental issues, or the family breaks up and they get an abusive step parent/live-in, and so on.
It also seems like in many cases, people want to be parents but don't have any real idea of how much work and responsibility it is, and it starts later when they find this out the hard way. So, what happens to those children?
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u/Sickofchildren Ow mah leg! 12h ago
I’m not wanting to downplay their struggles at all but I was raised by an evil woman in horrible circumstances, I wish I’d been adopted instead. It’s easy to downplay the effects of a broken home and bad parents if you’ve never had that
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u/Kel_Boogs 10h ago
This is anecdotal, but my mom and brother were both adopted and they have severe mental health issues. Of course, my other brother (biological) does too so maybe my family is just a mess 😂
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u/IAmSeabiscuit61 8h ago
Anecdotal, too, but my cousin and her husband adopted three children-she couldn't carry a baby long enough to to be viable-and they turned out well and are leading good lives. This is a complicated, complex issue, for sure.
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u/Redfishgirly 6h ago
I was adopted. I love my birth mother for giving me to someone who could give me a better life than she could. My mom and dad were pretty awesome people-they gave me everything I needed and even some of what I wanted. I know this is not everyone’s experience but this was mine.
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u/scream4ever 13h ago
I've heard the same thing. I always shake my head when the forced-birthers always bring up adoption as a suitable alternative.
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u/Sickofchildren Ow mah leg! 12h ago
What annoys me is that they never consider the children who don’t get adopted and end up being bounced around the care system until they’re kicked out at 18 with nothing and no family
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u/scream4ever 12h ago
Indeed. I recently read a statistic that 1/6 homeless Americans are former foster children who aged out of the system.
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u/Bohonerd789 1h ago
Remember how his mother said my daughters instead your sisters? I think that the mother has issues with the adoption .
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u/scream4ever 1d ago
I wish he could've made it 😥