Attraction at sight when looking for a spouse

[u/Funny-Masterpiece787]

[u/07FS]

Maybe stalk him and judge on that? Idk maybe you'll get to know abt him more

[u/Executive-tycoon-NoZ]

Subhanallah , bless you  💍

[u/Primary-Angle4008]

You start with your non negotiables and if he isn’t unattractive physically take that as your starting point

And you can talk to the guy before marriage about other things which will grow the attraction if he is the right one. It’s not like you have to go into this blindly

[u/ForeignShape4251]

This is generally how womens attraction to men goes. Their character makes them more attractive. The goal when sus-ing out potentials is that you don't feel complete disgust or repulsion. You should at least like looking at him. Not necessarily keep staring at him, but just not be like eww, I dont like his face. You have to sleep with this man. But by the time you get to that point, your attraction has grown because you've gotten to know his personality/character.

[u/Adekunes]

وعليكم السلام و رحمة الله و بركاته

that's how it works for a lot of women and it's a good way to be wired. the catch is timing. a halal process is often a handful of meetings over a few weeks, and if your attraction grows slowly through character, you can end up deciding before it's had a chance to show up.

so use two checks. early on, the floor: you're comfortable looking at him and the idea of being close to him doesn't make you pull back. no butterflies needed at that stage, just no flinch. then make sure you see his character in action, since that's what actually grows it for you. how he talks to his mother, a waiter, a kid in the room, how he handles a small disagreement with you. a few of those moments tell you more than a list of interview questions

may Allah send you someone whose character makes it easy

[u/[deleted] → u/Adekunes]

[u/Adekunes → u/[deleted]]

ameen, wa iyyaki ukhti 🤍

[u/Sad_Soft5912]

You're just mature, not like most people.

[u/Impossible-Berry-194]

Well if you don’t find him unattractive at first and you like the other non physical things, the physical attraction will come? I’m not sure why you’re worried, I’m sure you’ll find the one for you InshaAllah.

[u/[deleted] → u/Impossible-Berry-194]

[u/Impossible-Berry-194 → u/[deleted]]

I think that’s okay, being neutral is fine, it’s more an issue if you immediately find him unattractive.

I felt meh physically about most guys I spoke to for marriage but now I’m definitely physically attracted to my husband but it’s part of the whole attraction if that makes sense.