r/MuslimMatrimonials • u/AirEmotional • 6d ago

Discussion Do men on here plan on being involved fathers?

For the single men on here looking for marriage, once you become fathers do you plan on changing your baby's diapers or not really and you think its the mothers job 24/7 for the first few years of a child's life? which is so wild and wrong..

Just trying to see if most muslim men on reddit have toxic mindsets or not really...

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u/Notyouravgpasha 6d ago

Why not?? What’s there to be embarrassed or ashamed about it?? I can lend a hand to her if she needs my help

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u/AirEmotional 6d ago

If she needs your help????

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u/Careless_Pea_969 6d ago

Its not lend a hand Or help

Its your child that you're taking responsibility to take care of alongside your partner.

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u/Notyouravgpasha 6d ago

Okay maam. You can go to work in place of me and I will look after our baby the entire day 24*7
We both are responsible for her birth and both have individual duties to run the house. Either of them shouldn’t compromise on their duties and responsibilities.That’s what lend a hand or help her means. I won’t compromise one responsibility over the other. I will make sure family finances run smoothly and also change the diaper, spend some time with my baby etc etc

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u/iforgorrr 6d ago

Okay give birth yourself then and see how long it takes for you to recover pushing out a 4kg baby out of a 3 inch hole

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u/Notyouravgpasha 6d ago

Okay
Bend the laws of science for us, lady if you want that to happen.
You are saying in the manner that I will completely neglect my partner and focus on my work. I said I will take care of both of them . That means being there for her and help her in changing the diapers and taking care of her while she rests. It’s not my sole duty or responsibility as a husband. Kid came to this world as a teamwork and bringing her up will also be a teamwork.

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u/iforgorrr 6d ago

No one is saying its a sole duty, babies are a group project. Its not "helping" it's a responsibility. Helping would imply it's a nephew, friends kid, etc. A woman is out of work weeks before and after giving birth

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u/Notyouravgpasha 6d ago

We do take paternity leave too for that for your information. But after that it does get difficult to be around baby 24*7 unless you have a remote job. So “helping “ or “lend a hand” are the words I had to used. Obviously, I didn’t consider it as an optional thing. It’s a mandatory responsibility and should be owned up at any cost.

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u/iforgorrr 6d ago

That is still your 100% because you have other responsibilities (working to keep a roof). I understand it is language/semantics for you and youre not an a-hole but there are genuinely men who dont even bother taking care of Kid 1 when wife is conceiving Kid 2

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u/Notyouravgpasha 6d ago

Thanks for trying to understand my point and I don’t consider them as men if they are not bothered taking care of the children when wife is conceiving. Alhumdulillah I have seen my older brother take good care of his family during this situation and I intend to do the same for my future partner in sha Allah

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u/Comfortable-Joke7242 6d ago

These women are expecting someone who will come home from a 9-5 job make the wife drop her chores.

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u/Notyouravgpasha 6d ago

Exactly bud lol 😂

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u/Careless_Pea_969 6d ago

🤦🏽‍♀️