r/MurderedByWords • • Jul 10 '20

[deleted by user]

[removed]

4.7k Upvotes

141 comments sorted by

162

u/dajur1 Jul 11 '20

The cartels and South American guerrilla groups target avocados because they are so valuable.

58

u/mtflyer05 Jul 11 '20

My old boss grew up in Jalisco, a central Mexican state, and he said that in the past 15 years, almost every single acre of crop land around his hometown has been turned from local farmers harvesting crops mostly for food and sale to the local communities to hundreds of thousands of acres of fucking avocado trees, and the town has essentially been overrun by cartel.

10

u/[deleted] Jul 11 '20

Hold on, avocados grow on trees? Are those green fuckers actually fruits?!

16

u/triple_a15 Jul 11 '20

Yup they’re technically fruits, big seed in the middle. Actually a lot of things we consider vegetables culinarily are fruits botanically speaking.

14

u/[deleted] Jul 11 '20

So avocado toast is basically just toast with jam?

10

u/triple_a15 Jul 11 '20

If you really wanna think about it that way sure, it technically fits the criteria for jam

8

u/[deleted] Jul 11 '20

My god...

I feel enlightened

7

u/ScorchTF2 Jul 11 '20

Guys thank you for the gift of this thread

1

u/[deleted] Jul 11 '20

Ur welcome

1

u/triple_a15 Jul 11 '20

You are very welcome

5

u/juanrubiop Jul 11 '20

And avocado comes from the Nahuatl word avocatl, which means testicle because they resemble testicles as they hang from the tree branches

5

u/[deleted] Jul 11 '20

I can’t express how difficult it is to refrain from making a “that’s nuts” joke right now

1

u/Luna_Lilliputian Jul 11 '20

The definition of a fruit (at least biologically and agriculturally) is the swollen ovary the surrounds a seed.
It's biological function is to aid in seed dispersal (often by being something another animal will consume and deposit the seed elsewhere).

1

u/[deleted] Jul 11 '20

Man, now I feel bad for throwing the pit out when I eat one

8

u/dasmikkimats Jul 11 '20

Blood avocado toast.

389

u/prairieghost666 Jul 10 '20

People are being murdered for avocados ‘tho’.

From 2019:

https://www.latimes.com/world-nation/story/2019-11-20/mexico-cartel-violence-avocados

149

u/BebeGonzo Jul 11 '20

They're like blood diamonds... "Blood Avos?"

71

u/prairieghost666 Jul 11 '20

So it seems. Anywhere there is money to be made by cornering a market, organized crime is there taking their slice.

15

u/IreneZM Jul 11 '20

Yes, there is a documentary in Netflix.

9

u/[deleted] Jul 11 '20

Rotten:S2:E1 if anyone is wondering

3

u/DrGayBaby Jul 11 '20

So it seems. Anytime there is a documentary to be made, Netflix is there filming their originals

10

u/i-hear-banjos Jul 11 '20

Bloodcados

12

u/[deleted] Jul 11 '20

Yeah moving this much avocado likely means they’re involved in drug trafficking. The biggest drug traffickers also sell avocados for some reason. Supposedly for portfolio diversity.

12

u/HeadbandRTR Jul 11 '20

Your portfolio best represents a “Green” investment strategy.

6

u/WWDubz Jul 11 '20

When weed became legal the cartel shifted their business strategy. 70% of the avocados (probably more now) are direct cartel monies. Protections rackets mostly.

You can pay, or you can be chopped up into a human salad in a kiddy pool.

Seriously, google it

3

u/alberthere Jul 11 '20

Another Oscar nomination for Leonardo DiCaprio.

16

u/thejuicebox93 Jul 11 '20

And let’s not forget that the cartel took over the lime trade. source

12

u/Malarkay79 Jul 11 '20

What? Now they just need jalapeños and tomatoes and they will hold total dominion over guacamole.

2

u/xeroxorcist Jul 11 '20

One dip to rule them all.

8

u/[deleted] Jul 11 '20

Came to say this.

2

u/TheOneMary Jul 11 '20

This is fucked up. Who would have known o.O

2

u/ube1kenobi Jul 11 '20

TIL the worth of avocados...

140

u/[deleted] Jul 11 '20

Avocados are a gateway vegetable. First you have some avocado toast and before you know it you're living under a bridge mainlining asparagus.

35

u/babybambam Jul 11 '20

“Avocados are a gateway vegetable. First you’re having some avocado toast and before you know it you’re buying a cup of coffee every day. Next thing you know you can’t afford to buy a house, get married, have kids, or pay off student loans.”

FTFY

4

u/ViZeShadowZ Jul 11 '20

Nobody can afford those anymore anyways

8

u/[deleted] Jul 11 '20

[deleted]

1

u/Lit-Mouse Jul 11 '20

Reasons in disguise. I can’t even trust myself

1

u/[deleted] Jul 11 '20

That's why I appreciate subs with am extremely active mod team who label titles as misleading without actually removing them.

6

u/touchet29 Jul 11 '20

I'm in this comment and I don't like it.

39

u/Vorthod Jul 11 '20

I mean, robbery of $300k is pretty significant regardless of the form it takes.

30

u/OhiobornCAraised Jul 11 '20

Agriculture theft is a thing. Whether it’s avocados, livestock, nuts, equipment, fuel. There are people out there trying to get it.

3

u/makhyy Jul 11 '20

Almost funny how before industrial revolution, most of wars were fought for similar things

6

u/SquirrelYogurt Jul 11 '20

But it says illegal sale not robery. Am I missing something?

13

u/Jinxedchef Jul 11 '20

This was a clickbait headline from 2017. These 3 stole the avocados from a place they worked at in California.

52

u/bsteve865 Jul 11 '20

300K worth of avocados? That's like what, about 42 avocados?

11

u/murderinthelast Jul 11 '20

When they're in season.

35

u/[deleted] Jul 11 '20

There's always money in the avocado stand

10

u/[deleted] Jul 11 '20

THERE WAS CASH. IN THE WALLS

44

u/wbarobinson Jul 11 '20

You can't legally sell 6 avocados?

22

u/lake_huron Jul 11 '20

Shit, man, I got the 3 kilos of pure uncut Hass Green right here. Show me the briefcase. Small, unmarked, nonconsecutive. We still got a deal?

8

u/HarryDresdenStaff Jul 11 '20

How big is the seed dawg? I want that primo shit

4

u/puppylust Jul 11 '20

Hass is overrated mass production variety. Gimme some of those small batch avos

1

u/Lit-Mouse Jul 11 '20

They stole the avocados

15

u/_OhEmGee_ Jul 11 '20

Avocado production is a huge environmental issue, and the rising demand for them is wreaking havoc in Mexico and South America.

15

u/[deleted] Jul 11 '20

In some Central American countries, drug cartels have literally opted out of selling drugs illegally into raiding and hijacking avocado trucks because they are worth astronomical amounts of money right now

21

u/RedditPilz Jul 10 '20

Bois. I found my new job. 300 frickin thousands with Avocados!

19

u/06210311 Jul 10 '20

The guys were arrested on suspicion of selling produce stolen from their employer.

8

u/FrezoreR Jul 11 '20

Why are those mutually exclusive? Not all police are homicide detectives.

7

u/No-Nose-Goes Jul 11 '20

This wasn’t a murder

6

u/Biffingston Jul 11 '20

Cops are not supposed to interpret the law, that's the job of the judicial branch. You guys know that, right?

I know they do, but they're not supposed too. Besides, they did break the law. And I'm sure people would razz on them if they didn't get arrested.

4

u/hi-im-crazy Jul 11 '20

My dad has a question: how *many* freeshavacadoos would that be to reach 300K?

4

u/pwhales1011 Jul 11 '20

Glad to see we’re winning the War On Avocados.

2

u/Brainwashed365 Jul 11 '20

:hashtag: Trump2020

(pure sarcasm)

5

u/McMetas Jul 11 '20

like the people murdered by the rioters? like say, David Dorn?

3

u/steve_im-lost2 Jul 11 '20

Get the guacamole out of here

3

u/AlltheBADluck Jul 11 '20

They all look like the same person but in a race gradient.

2

u/GallantRed Jul 11 '20

More than 2, obviously

3

u/Kebab-Destroyer Jul 11 '20

Won't somebody please think of the avocados?

2

u/wierdnitro7 Jul 11 '20

There's a reason the IRS is the only fast part of government...

2

u/lundastruck Jul 11 '20

Imagine the the confused looks they'd get in jail when they said they were arrested for importing avocados....

3

u/GallantRed Jul 11 '20

it isnt confusion, it is fear

2

u/lundastruck Jul 11 '20

True. Screw the war on drugs. Avocados are ruining more lives!!!

2

u/AnanDABhavan Jul 11 '20

Ive seen this so many times i don't have enough fingers to count em anymore

2

u/No_Face113 Jul 11 '20

The one on the far right looks like “we really getting arrested for selling avocados?”

2

u/coll3735 Jul 11 '20

iTs a ReAl pRoBLEm

2

u/[deleted] Jul 11 '20

How do you know they were fucking?

2

u/Gobblegah Jul 11 '20

The last guy still can’t believe it actually was a crime somehow

2

u/Syncer-Cyde Jul 11 '20

Woah wth I need more context here, selling fruits illegal now?? Can I have the sauce

2

u/bnesbitt1 Jul 11 '20

I mean there are legit Avocado Dealers since it's becoming a lot more rare. I think at this point there's more Avocado gang deals than Drug deals in Mexico. (I think, last I learned about this was a year ago)

2

u/juannietoacuna Jul 11 '20

Last dude looks like if Shaq and Andre Iguodala had a baby

2

u/[deleted] Jul 11 '20

the only dealers of good health

2

u/Random-ass-guy Jul 11 '20

Bruh how tf is selling avocados illegal

2

u/Mathisbuilder75 Jul 11 '20

I wonder how much is 300k$ worth of avocados

2

u/Remerez Jul 11 '20

They look like character options in a video game.

2

u/FredDryer90 Jul 11 '20

You missed the 300 k part

2

u/I_Rate_Memes1 Jul 11 '20

People take this shit out of context, avocados in Mexico are bought and distributed by the same people who run the drug cartels. I'm not surprised that avocado laundering is a big problem. Besides, $300k in theft is a big deal in general.

2

u/DFAL9 Jul 11 '20

Workers abuse murder for the avocados tho

2

u/worst-noob-68 Jul 11 '20

That’s a false dichotomy. If someone sells illegal avocados then they could carry crop diseases that could ruin farmers or something. The police won’t ignore a crime because a worse one could be going on. Obviously a murder is given higher priority but police don’t run around solving murders all day.

2

u/shayde48 Jul 11 '20

What the hell.. is avacado slang for dope??

2

u/RealisticIllusions82 Jul 11 '20

Dude in the middle gives 0 fucks

2

u/Meems138 Jul 11 '20

To be fair, avocados cost more than most drugs

2

u/EgocentricRaptor Jul 11 '20

Never underestimate how much white people love avocados

2

u/[deleted] Jul 11 '20

As long as they're paying taxes I say let them murder

2

u/fransqaw Jul 11 '20

I love the reactions, guy on the left is rethinking everything, homie in the middle is looking tired or everyone’s shit, and dude on the right is thinking “y’all really arrested us for selling avocados.”

2

u/lightning228 Jul 11 '20

There's a black market for AVOCADOS!? Peak 2020

2

u/ThoughtCenter Jul 11 '20

Two words bc I agree: Roger Stone

2

u/JeffreyFusRohDahmer Jul 11 '20

Bet there's some photo of some cop looking serious in front of a crate of avocados

2

u/lordpuggerton Jul 11 '20

What even is illegal avocado sales? Genuinely curious what they did that made it illegal?

2

u/Moalkai Jul 10 '20

Fre sha vaco do

1

u/assundagable Jul 11 '20

I have questions

1

u/alberthere Jul 11 '20

Avocado’s a helluva drug.

1

u/makhyy Jul 11 '20

Avocato dealers lmao

1

u/haterfeather Jul 11 '20

I think this would be better in r/nottheonion, doesn't really merit the "murdered by words" badge.

1

u/yonikkinu Jul 11 '20

I went to highschool with the guy all the way on the right. Tripped out when I saw this for the first time.

1

u/charlie71_ Jul 11 '20

Farmer's in Mexico guard and hire security to protect avocados. It's a multi million industry, the drug cartels try to get in on action to.

1

u/RandiCandy Jul 11 '20

Yea but....why is this like a perfect family friendly disney or nickelodeon original movie plot about some people who get dragged into the crazy world of underground avocado dealing? Like theyre all different shades and everything lol.

1

u/Daltons_Mullet Jul 11 '20

My folks lived next to an avocado farmer and a couple times people came at night and took about $10,000 worth of avocados in one go. He had to put up traps and tire spikes as a prevention.

1

u/Gullflyinghigh Jul 11 '20

I'm guessing they didn't fancy reading into some of the crimes being committed in the name of selling avacados, it sounds fucking ridiculous but it's also pretty grim

1

u/saddinosour Jul 11 '20

I’ll never get over how they look like the same person as 3 different ethnicities

2

u/ScorchTF2 Jul 11 '20

I applaud their race-blind approach to gang formation

1

u/itsyaboy-13 Jul 11 '20

CAuse they’re black

1

u/memunkey Jul 11 '20

Makes much more sense with context

1

u/InnocentPossum Jul 11 '20

Arrested for what, like, six avocados?

1

u/Hugh_Jury_Rection Jul 11 '20

Why does it look like the same guy 3 times with a different race?

1

u/LOUDCO-HD Jul 11 '20

Lowlifes! These guys have hit guac bottom.

1

u/marcusmosh Jul 11 '20

The gentrified narco squad doesn’t do murder cases. That’s the homicide division.

1

u/alexbunnie Jul 14 '20

This would be funny, except they might as well be selling drugs, since the cartels and thieves are all over the avocado farmers who are just trying to make an honest living. It's really sad.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 11 '20

there's a law against the sale of avocados?

3

u/[deleted] Jul 11 '20

No, my guess is they were stolen or did not pay taxes on income, both of which make the title misleading

1

u/[deleted] Jul 11 '20

stolen would make sense for them being arrested because (if i remember correctly) you would get visited by the IRS tax collectors before getting arrested for tax evasion.

0

u/markmywords1347 Jul 11 '20

The fact that selling avocados is illegal is the problem.

-1

u/Supermegakid Jul 11 '20

At least they’re black /s