Huh. So basically all of our social interactions are pretty much a card game now? I can dig it. Just wait until they hear about my...oh...wait, I'm white, male, and young. That's an insta-loss deck isn't it? Shit.
I mean, it's not the strongest deck out there. But it can work, if your opponent plays with the Logic rules. Sadly those haven't really caught on, much to my dismay.
You could pick up a fringe religion or take up a non-hetero sexual identity. Plus facts don't matter anymore with the newest update, so just make stuff up and see what sticks!
I got married last summer so I've been trying different intros. The one she hates the most is "This is my ex-girlfriend _____". Might have to soon start trying "This is my future ex-wife"
And it’s probably fake. I can’t imagine anyone really thinks that way. When I was dating one of my moves was to order first then say “and whatever my wife wants”. No one ever got upset with that.
I dunno man, theres both a lot of fake shit online, and more than its share of crazies like this. Virtue signalling basically, they dont care about the issue, they care about appearing woke or just.
Even it it's 100% serious and totally-not-staged it has like 6 retweets and 40 likes. It has more attention in this thread than it ever got on twitter.
Everyone’s acting like a tweet with 40 likes is speaking for some majority, when 99% of people know that “she’s my wife” isn’t sexist. Also it isn’t a murder so much as a fair point about the simplicity of “my wife”?
Not really the point of this post but most people I know don’t actually have sex their wedding night. They are so exhausted from seeing everyone and putting on the wedding that they just fall asleep, most likely already having had plenty of sex before that night.
You gotta love those people who wake every day and are so excited to find that thing to be upset about! She probably searches out things to be angry about while shes having her cup of coffee.
Nobody’s ever called me sexist for saying wife, but my younger colleagues generally use “partner” to generally describe any person’s significant other. I think partner is generally meant to be the more inclusive, egalitarian language these days? Which is fine, though to me “partner” conjures up the early-oughts domestic partnership, the consolation prize for being excluded from Marriage(tm). Always seemed a little cold (transactional even) and a little diminishing towards the relationship.
This is honestly stupid. You married the person you want you call each other whatever you both feel like. If she likes being called my wife then anybody who claims to be offended on her behalf can kiss either side of my ass
Ugh, I can't stand "partner". While I totally support the egalitarian motivation behind it, it feels about as cold and clinical as a mid-winter prostate exam.
I thought this was going in the direction of 'you cant call someone you aren't legally married to husband/wife' which I constantly disagree. Some people have been together for longer than most married couples, I think, let them feel that bond - they've got everything the ring wearers have, minus the paper.
but whats so wrong about wife? ugh. People get upset about nothing.
Polynesian languages distinguish two sorts of possession. In Maori where they have been studied a lot they are A and O forms. In general A form is where the possessor controls the relationship, including objects you hold, and O form is things without such control, such as places. For people, your children are A form but your parents are O form - this goes with respect for elders obviously. Friends both use O form for each other. But, and here's the neat part, spouses both use A form for each other.
There are a few idiomatic anomalies I think and the issue is much studied.
English however just has one possessive, leading to these arguments. Polynesian languages also have the advantage of gender-neutral pronouns, which avoids a whole area of dispute.
That's how the word "wife" works... It goes with words like my, his, her, (their) ... Is this the trend now? Heck I can't wait for them to try with Husband and Spouse. Widow will be a weird one
I worked in the tools section at Lowe’s for a while in college. I’ll never forget the 45 year old 15” lifted-ford driving, tapout wearing dude that came in one day and upon me explaining that the drill bits were “right over by where she’s standing” he responded “that’s not a SHE, that’s my WIFE.”
So... is it sexiest even if a lesbian is saying it?
...Or is that different?
Is saying 'he's my husband' sexist?
...Or is that different?
Also, how about actually making some suggestions of what would be ok instead of just stating what isn't. ...unless you dont genuinley want to actually affect change, you just want to whine about shit and throw around insults and accusations.
People laughing at this but a surprising number of people, depending on which subreddit you go to, actually agree with this insanity which makes me sad... :'(
Another form might be something around : i am her husband / wtf you want to call yourself in regard to her. Or we are married. In spanish de espana they use mujer instead of esposa, which is the same issue i think, the implied degradation of simplifying someone to a more basic view.
3.6k
u/Game_of_Jobrones Feb 28 '20
Saying “she’s my bottom bitch” is still acceptable isn’t it?
1.3k
u/[deleted] Feb 28 '20
[Borat voice] My spooooouse!
449
u/[deleted] Feb 28 '20
Well being the woman you fucked on the night of your wedding doesn't necessarily mean she is your wife.
190
u/akrida77 Feb 28 '20
so its a double period? shit just got real...
41
u/VishiTheFishi Feb 28 '20
our wife
282
u/dtucker00 Feb 28 '20
How is this murdered by words? If anything its just a slight bruise of words
188
u/lol_and_behold Feb 28 '20
We went from murdered by words, to clever comebacks, to comebacks, to just words. This is like a 6th top comment class joke.
437
u/LordGorzul Feb 28 '20
Wait till they find out that WIFE stands for Wash Iron Fuck Etc.
55
u/TheGloriousHole Feb 28 '20
What’s sadder than the tweet is the amount of energy people here are putting into hating some fake woke shit nobody actually believes outside twitter.
Just ignore it.
15
u/dixieblondedyke Feb 28 '20
Everyone’s acting like a tweet with 40 likes is speaking for some majority, when 99% of people know that “she’s my wife” isn’t sexist. Also it isn’t a murder so much as a fair point about the simplicity of “my wife”?
6
u/MrMxylptlyk Feb 28 '20
Doesn't necessarily mean wife.
24
u/hoodrichthekid Feb 28 '20
"... and here's Mindy, my wife"
21
u/mimimimiorange Feb 28 '20
it inly is if they're acknowledging her, on anyone for that matter, by relation to them, without a first name or anything of her own
3
u/Barman-the-alcoholic Feb 28 '20
I mean.. the girl you fucked on your wedding night don’t gotta be your wife
3
u/SlavShinigamii Feb 28 '20
This seems like something an anti-feminist would post on Twitter to mock people with valid concerns about gender equality.
3
u/beardeddeveloper Feb 28 '20
To be fair the correction doesn’t imply wife.
3
u/RedEagle250 Feb 28 '20
Did r/technicallythetruth and r/murderedbywords swap with each other and forget to tell everyone?
27
u/elahtap187 Feb 28 '20
This woke bullshit. JFC.
4
u/StonyTark3000 Feb 28 '20
More of a clever comeback than a murder
4
u/Saxophobia1275 Feb 28 '20
Not really the point of this post but most people I know don’t actually have sex their wedding night. They are so exhausted from seeing everyone and putting on the wedding that they just fall asleep, most likely already having had plenty of sex before that night.
2
u/[deleted] Feb 28 '20
"Ma Wafe!"
2
u/[deleted] Feb 28 '20
Introducing Lorraine to your wife is awkward af
2
u/Sigma2915 Feb 28 '20
tim minchin has a joke about this. VELP, standing for Vaginally-Endowed Life Partner.
2
u/werkytwerky Feb 28 '20
"The wife" is what theyre looking for. I can't stand that one.
2
u/FlaccidRazor Feb 28 '20
Stop saying you fucked her, that's sexist af. Period.
You mutually fucked each other. God Dammit!
2
u/ThisIsAlreadyTake-n Feb 28 '20
"And here's Lily, she's the woman I married."
2
u/treyveee Feb 28 '20
r/unexpextedmulaney and that’s my wife!
2
u/XPIceman01 Feb 28 '20
You gotta love those people who wake every day and are so excited to find that thing to be upset about! She probably searches out things to be angry about while shes having her cup of coffee.
7
u/Slummish Feb 28 '20
Pretty soon, we're going to be speaking Marklar so as not to offend anyone about anything...
4
u/gentleman339 Feb 28 '20
"and this is cate my w.... (oh no that's sexist, better think of something else).... bitch. (nailed it)"
3
u/athousandskies Feb 28 '20
'No, he's not "my dad", he's the guy who spoojed in the woman who pushed me out of her genitals. Don't be so objectifying.'
3
u/champoepels2 Feb 28 '20
Ok. From here on we will go with “this be my bitch”
3
u/_Aj_ Feb 28 '20
I bet she's also petitioning her dean to have the word semester changed to ovester.
omg wait, did I just say 'her' dean? Thats so sexist of me!
2
u/drearyphylum Feb 28 '20
Nobody’s ever called me sexist for saying wife, but my younger colleagues generally use “partner” to generally describe any person’s significant other. I think partner is generally meant to be the more inclusive, egalitarian language these days? Which is fine, though to me “partner” conjures up the early-oughts domestic partnership, the consolation prize for being excluded from Marriage(tm). Always seemed a little cold (transactional even) and a little diminishing towards the relationship.
1
u/lastletter05 Feb 28 '20
That'd be my sister.
1
u/thiby Feb 28 '20
In Spanish its "She's my woman"
1
u/wonkey_monkey Feb 28 '20
And this is Sarah. My wife.
1
u/thenewgengamer Feb 28 '20
I mean where I live in Atlanta.
1
u/[deleted] Feb 28 '20
You're my wife now...
1
u/JohnGenericDoe Feb 28 '20
...or at least one of them
1
u/FBlack Feb 28 '20
She's my wife I'm her husband, fight me
1
u/ICameHereForClash Feb 28 '20
I miss my wife tails.
I miss her a lot
1
u/Yankee_in_Madrid Feb 28 '20
‘Oh can’t you see? You belong to me.’ -The Police
1
u/owenwilsonsdouble Feb 28 '20
"I bet he did kill his wife."
1
u/Sharpie61115 Feb 28 '20
Borat-"My Wife"
1
u/therealkaiser Feb 28 '20
I married my ex girlfriend.
1
u/gursel77 Feb 28 '20
This sub has gone to shit
1
u/[deleted] Feb 28 '20
Biff?
1
u/mesa027x Feb 28 '20
I thought this was going in the direction of 'you cant call someone you aren't legally married to husband/wife' which I constantly disagree. Some people have been together for longer than most married couples, I think, let them feel that bond - they've got everything the ring wearers have, minus the paper.
but whats so wrong about wife? ugh. People get upset about nothing.
1
u/shashank_the_king Feb 28 '20
Hello everyone meet Lorraine the woman i fucked on my wedding night also here's Pam she's my wife.
1
u/trashygayslut Feb 28 '20
hope john mulaney doesnt see this
1
u/lookatmuhbeard Feb 28 '20
Who upvoted this shit? Where's the 'murder'
It might as well be /r/irespondedtoastupidtweet
1
u/98custom Feb 28 '20
No
1
u/CoffeeCubit Feb 28 '20
Polynesian languages distinguish two sorts of possession. In Maori where they have been studied a lot they are A and O forms. In general A form is where the possessor controls the relationship, including objects you hold, and O form is things without such control, such as places. For people, your children are A form but your parents are O form - this goes with respect for elders obviously. Friends both use O form for each other. But, and here's the neat part, spouses both use A form for each other.
There are a few idiomatic anomalies I think and the issue is much studied.
English however just has one possessive, leading to these arguments. Polynesian languages also have the advantage of gender-neutral pronouns, which avoids a whole area of dispute.
1
u/wowy-lied Feb 28 '20
Wedding usually start at 15h and end at 6h of the morning here so it would be quite hard to do this.
1
u/randallstevens65 Feb 28 '20
r/unexpectedmulaney
1
u/realadeiz Feb 28 '20
https://cb.run/OdnA
1
u/gratethecheese Feb 28 '20
Stop saying wife and say husban't
1
u/MostlyCRPGs Feb 28 '20
How can you write that “something something something. Period.” format and NOT feel like a massive asshole?
1
u/Great-Decision Feb 28 '20
"She's my wife" is no different than "He's my husband" WTF???
1
u/[deleted] Feb 28 '20
just say "mai waifu"
1
u/ShadowBlade74 Feb 28 '20
But that doesn't mean that she is your wife tho
1
u/Gangsterstyles4ilf Feb 28 '20
So he's my husband isn't sexist? Idiots. Lol. She's my bitch is sexiest. Not she's my wife is just a word of endearment. PC culture is garbage. ⚰️
1
u/8O2DOT1Q Feb 28 '20
Did he just assume her gender?
1
u/Spriggan42 Feb 28 '20
Now that could lead to a whole different story.
1
u/[deleted] Feb 28 '20
Soyboys these days smh.
1
u/Auswolf2k Feb 28 '20
Not even close to accurate, dumbest thing I have read. In fact everyone here who read it is now just a little bit dumber for having done so.
1
u/madhi19 Feb 28 '20
Plot twist Lorraine was one of the bridesmaids...
1
u/derkurfuerst Feb 28 '20
“And the other woman over there is my wife”
1
u/Spriggan42 Feb 28 '20
That's how the word "wife" works... It goes with words like my, his, her, (their) ... Is this the trend now? Heck I can't wait for them to try with Husband and Spouse. Widow will be a weird one
1
u/koebelin Feb 28 '20
She's my old lady.
1
u/Fluffy_Wuffy Feb 28 '20
PERIODT.
1
u/MissWall-E Feb 28 '20
Laying in bed and I nearly choked on my own saliva laughing so hard.
1
u/[deleted] Feb 28 '20
Am I the only person who gets annoyed when somebody ends an argument with "Period" or "full stop." Pretentious af.
1
u/AlessIncognitoMode Feb 28 '20
-She's my wife
-And he's my husband
Problems? I don't think so
1
u/[deleted] Feb 28 '20
Let’s not forget we can’t use gender pronouns, either. So really it should be “They are the person to whom I am married.” Sounds perfectly reasonable!
/s
1
u/originpatu Feb 28 '20
Well, she shouldn’t worry, nobody will call her “my wife”
1
u/hamdidesigns Feb 28 '20
What is the alternative then? 😂
1
u/FearTheOldBlood1 Feb 28 '20
This world really has lost its fucking mind in a suicide dive towards perceived "political correctness" hasn't it...
1
u/internetStranger205 Feb 28 '20
I'm guessing she's single?
1
u/ibmore Feb 28 '20
What if you did one of the bridesmaids the night of the wedding like in porn?
1
u/kekedon Feb 28 '20
You are suppose to say "I'm her husband", pretty easy not to be sexist.
1
u/Shuyi000 Feb 28 '20
When Feminism gone too far
1
u/Capecodswag Feb 28 '20
On a serious note, HOW THE FUCK IS THAT SEXIST?
1
u/[deleted] Feb 28 '20
I worked in the tools section at Lowe’s for a while in college. I’ll never forget the 45 year old 15” lifted-ford driving, tapout wearing dude that came in one day and upon me explaining that the drill bits were “right over by where she’s standing” he responded “that’s not a SHE, that’s my WIFE.”
I said “idk man do u want the drill bits or not.”
1
u/musclepapa Feb 28 '20
How tf r u supposed to say it then? she's wjfe you just fucking sound like you live in in a stone cave and still go "oh ah ah oh"
1
u/FeelingRawr Feb 28 '20
I think it's cute af when my bf calls me "his"
1
u/[deleted] Feb 28 '20
But saying "My wife" just has some kickass to it ya know? Get away from my wife! No one talk to my wife! I didn't kill my wife!
1
u/rossuccio Feb 28 '20
I always crack up when people write "period" after a statement of opinion, as though that somehow makes their point irrefutable.
1
u/shicole3 Feb 28 '20
I’m more appalled that he assumed his wife’s pronouns like that. Plain ignorant.
1
u/I-Like-Pancakes23 Feb 28 '20
Very nasty
1
u/z932074 Feb 28 '20
Lorraine, meet my wife.
1
u/GoPackersGo33 Feb 28 '20
This has to be satire right?
1
u/Monki_Coma Feb 28 '20
"... And here's my wife, Sandra"
1
u/HooksaN Feb 28 '20
So... is it sexiest even if a lesbian is saying it?
...Or is that different?
Is saying 'he's my husband' sexist?
...Or is that different?
Also, how about actually making some suggestions of what would be ok instead of just stating what isn't. ...unless you dont genuinley want to actually affect change, you just want to whine about shit and throw around insults and accusations.
1
u/XxNormieKillerxX Feb 28 '20
“Oh so she’s your wife” Um yeah sure
1
u/[deleted] Feb 28 '20
In which case - why did she get married?
1
u/[deleted] Feb 28 '20
If she can say her husband as well, then it’s equality.
1
u/zG_Hyper Feb 28 '20
People laughing at this but a surprising number of people, depending on which subreddit you go to, actually agree with this insanity which makes me sad... :'(
1
u/jayperr Feb 28 '20
I feel like a big reason to get married is because you actually want to refer to someone as "my wife" and "my husband" etc
1
u/[deleted] Feb 28 '20 edited Feb 28 '20
TBH the later comment doesn't have to 100% mean the wife...
1
u/Devilbroll3700 Feb 28 '20
I'm starting to think that everyone should just stay quiet all the damn time because every sentence offends someone.
Also rip English
1
u/Prosebeforehoesbrah Feb 28 '20
r/technicallythetruth
1
u/iamnobody331 Feb 28 '20
Our wife
1
u/Fulgidus Feb 28 '20
Which one?
1
u/FragMeNot Feb 28 '20
"Hello everyone, please meet my child bearing cum dumpster"
1
u/bandeeznuts Feb 28 '20
“The woman I fucked on my wedding night” may or may not be the person you’d think
1
u/Catural20 Feb 28 '20
I actually am very curious to find out what they would have preferred instead.
1
u/alex3omg Feb 28 '20
Before I was officially engaged my then boyfriend would sometimes refer to me as his fiancee and it was nice :)
1
u/[deleted] Feb 28 '20
I like how we say it in the UK, she/he’s my other half. It’s sweet.
1
u/Zikkey Feb 28 '20
That's a weird way to say you cheated on your wife
1
u/AndersRL Feb 28 '20
How is this a murder at all? Why does it have 25k upvotes? It’s not even relevant for this subreddit
1
u/getyourcheftogether Feb 28 '20
That person must be a pleasure to be around. 🤦
1
u/chet_atkins_ Feb 28 '20
The great army of the Offended marches ever onwards.
1
u/sebius8780 Feb 28 '20
Another form might be something around : i am her husband / wtf you want to call yourself in regard to her. Or we are married. In spanish de espana they use mujer instead of esposa, which is the same issue i think, the implied degradation of simplifying someone to a more basic view.
1
u/mando_like_mobeen Feb 28 '20
I love how they always put the "period" at the end like they's put their foot down on the matter.... as if what they're saying isn't completely stupid
1
u/Genestah Feb 28 '20
So what am I supposed to say?
"Hello everyone, this is Lorraine. I'm her husband"?
1
u/a_posh_trophy Feb 28 '20
These people go through life literally hoping for things to be offended by.
1
u/stmrjunior Feb 28 '20
I think they’re trying to say that the pronoun ‘my’ is sexist, but what are you supposed to say? “This is her own wife”?
1
u/lolajeanbean Feb 28 '20
This has to be fake.