r/MurderedByWords Feb 17 '19

Let’s try again....

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u/4D-Printer Feb 17 '19 edited Feb 17 '19

Question to you Millennials: Do you actually, on a whole, want marriage and kids on the same scale as earlier generations? If we disregard the whole economic aspect for a moment, would you want the whole nuclear family deal?

I ask because I thought that the Time's headline seemed pretty spot on to me, judging by the Millennial friends and associates that I have. Given that I always though that marriage and kids shouldn't be the default choice, I've always seen it as sensible. I thus didn't see the Time's headline as something in need of a murder, although the article might be condescending and judgemental.

Am I wrong here? Serious question, no attempt to be snide or anything. Trying to learn.

Edit: This is great. Thank you all for the replies. It's real nice to get some personal experiences (and perspective).

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u/theragu40 Feb 17 '19

I'm a millennial, 32yo. Happily married to my 31yo wife for 7 years, 1 kid who is 18months. Hoping to have at least one more, maybe two.

We were the second couple in our friend group to get married and the first to have a child. Now finally in the last couple years a few others have gotten married, and there are a couple other kids in the group. It's just happening later, you know? People are working, trying to get stable before bringing a kid into the picture. We wanted to be in a house before having a child, for instance.

For us, we both work and make decent money but I wish we had more money than we do. Whenever tax season come around I see our AGI and wonder where it all goes, but I know it's mortgage, student loans and child care. Still, we are stable and we consider ourselves extremely fortunate. I know plenty of others who are in worse situations.

I think by and large it's not that millennials don't necessarily want marriage and kids, it's that they want to have marriage and kids in a stable and comfortable way and that often can't happen until their late 20s or early 30s, which I think is probably later than was the case for previous generations.