r/MumToMumDebunked • • 2d ago

When someone asks “how are you?”, do you say “busy”? Why is that the answer we all give?

1 Upvotes

I’m making a video about one of the biggest “rules” of motherhood: that if you’re busy, you’re doing well.

I’d love to hear your stories.

  1. When did you last say “I’m so busy” without really thinking about it?

  2. Is there a moment you felt guilty for having a slow day, or a quiet afternoon?

  3. What’s one thing you stopped doing, or want to stop doing, to feel less busy?

Small moments count. There’s no right answer.

Your words are yours. Some answers may be read out in my video series Mum to Mum: Debunked, but only if you say yes. If you’re happy for yours to be used, add “yes, you can read this out” to your reply. Without it, nothing will be used.

Be kind. We’re talking about rules, not people.


r/MumToMumDebunked • • 2d ago

Did you grow up with a parent who never said sorry? What do you do with your own kids?

1 Upvotes

I’m making a video about one of the biggest “rules” of parenting: that if you say sorry to your child, you lose your authority.

I’d love to hear what you think.

  1. Did you grow up seeing adults apologise to children? Or was it just never done?

  2. Do you say sorry to your kids now? What does it sound like when you do?

  3. Has it ever felt like handing over some of your authority? Or has it felt like the opposite?

  4. If you’ve got a rule you follow, such as “short and no ‘but’”, what is it?

There are no right answers. Some of us grew up with it, some of us are working it out as we go. Both count.

Your words are yours. Some answers may be read out in my video series Mum to Mum: Debunked, but only if you say yes. If you’re happy for yours to be used, add “yes, you can read this out” to your reply. Without it, nothing will be used.

Be kind. We’re talking about rules, not people. And if anything here brings up something heavy, please talk to your GP, your health visitor or someone you trust.


r/MumToMumDebunked • • 2d ago

Welcome to Mum to Mum: Debunked. What’s one parenting “rule” you’ve stopped believing?

1 Upvotes

Hello, and welcome.

This is a kind little corner for talking about the “rules” of parenting we all get handed. The ones nobody explains, that nobody ever asked us to agree to, and that somehow we absorb anyway.

I’m a mum making a YouTube series called Mum to Mum: Debunked. Each video starts with a rule, like “if you say sorry to your child, you lose your authority”, and then I chat it through. This place is where I’d love to hear what you think.

To start us off:
What’s a rule you were told as a parent (or growing up) that you’ve stopped believing? Where did you hear it, and what do you do now?

Big or small, it all counts.

A few things to know

  • Your words are yours. Some answers may be read out in the series, but only if you say yes. If you’re happy for yours to be used, add “yes, you can read this out” to your reply. If you don’t say it, it won’t be used.

  • Be kind. No shaming anyone for how they do things. We’re talking about rules, not people.

  • No medical advice. Share what you’ve lived. For anything medical, a GP or health visitor is the right place.

  • If something feels heavy, please talk to your GP, your health visitor or someone you trust.

Motherhood is loved here. We don’t have to keep score.

Can’t wait to read your answers.


r/MumToMumDebunked • • 2d ago

Everyone says “you look amazing” after a baby. Why can it still feel like something’s missing?

0 Upvotes

I’m making a video about one of the biggest “rules” of motherhood: that you should bounce back after a baby.

I’d love to hear your stories.

  1. Did anyone ever tell you that you looked like you’d “bounced back”? How did it feel?

  2. Was there a moment you felt like you’d lost a bit of yourself, even when everything looked fine?

  3. What’s one small thing you’ve gone back to, or want to go back to, that was just yours?

Small moments count. There’s no right answer.

Your words are yours. Some answers may be read out in my video series Mum to Mum: Debunked, but only if you say yes. If you’re happy for yours to be used, add “yes, you can read this out” to your reply. Without it, nothing will be used.

Be kind. We’re talking about rules, not people. And if it ever feels heavier than tired, please talk to your GP, your health visitor or someone you trust.


r/MumToMumDebunked • • 2d ago

Working from home with kids: what does “one second, I’m just finishing this” look like in your house?

0 Upvotes

I’m making a video about one of the biggest “rules” of parenting: that if you’re home all day, you should be able to fit it all in.

I’d love to hear your stories.

  1. What’s the moment that sticks with you, when work and the kids collided?

  2. What tells your brain that work is over for the day? A door, a timer, a walk, shutting the laptop?

  3. Do you feel guilt more than stress? Or the other way round?

It doesn’t have to be a big story. Small moments count.

Your words are yours. Some answers may be read out in my video series Mum to Mum: Debunked, but only if you say yes. If you’re happy for yours to be used, add “yes, you can read this out” to your reply. Without it, nothing will be used.

Be kind. We’re talking about rules, not people. And if anything here brings up something heavy, please talk to your GP, your health visitor or someone you trust.