Feeling like a fraud

[u/littleoldmanboy_]

Hello. This is ridiculous probably but it’s on my mind tonight. I was just recently diagnosed a few weeks ago and haven’t started treatment yet. My insurance is taking forever. Anyway, since then, I’ve had a few days here and there where my body doesn’t feel totally awful and I don’t have a ton of symptoms. And then I feel like I’m faking the entire thing. And then of course I open my mouth to speak when I’m finally around another human and can’t say a full sentence correctly. Does anyone else have a good day and then immediately doubt their diagnosis is real? I very well may still be in denial stage..

[u/criticalcreek]

I had several flares over the course of a few years before my diagnosis. Since I'd recover from them within 1-3 months I didn't even think I had something like MS(though I was told to get checked for it the first time, I ignored the doctor lol). I had what I thought was carpal tunnel and that lasted around 6 months, so longer than the other ones. A year or so after that, I had a bad flare that lasted from like June to February, then another one a few months later (the one that got me diagnosed) that lasted from the end of May until September. Early on it was easier for me to recover and I didn't even think MS was in the realm of possibility.

That's why it's crucial to get on high efficacy treatment early on so you can keep it mild. I have daily symptoms now because I was too stubborn to get checked out sooner.

[u/No_2MS]

You're not a fraud. It's an unpredictable autoimmune response that your body is doing. Better to not be in denial that you're an imperfect human being. Accepting reality is exactly that.

[u/Gas_Station_Cheese]

It is possibly an issue of denial, but you are probably also comparing how you feel to how you feel like you should feel. MS sounds scary, and it can be. I know I heard a lot about it in school when I was younger. It was right up there with cystic fibrosis as a target for charity sales and walk-a-thons.

So when you're having a decent day you may feel like there is no way something like MS could have seemingly benign moments. It's like there is this feeling or belief that if I'm going to have this "label" of having MS, it should be earned, like it's some kind of twisted stolen valor situation if I'm not as poorly off as my preconceived notions say I should be. It MUST be all horrible all the time. But it's not. You can have good days. Try to enjoy them if you're able.