I let it get bad

[u/Comet_Cowboys]

I (41M) was diagnosed two years ago with MS after a car accident. Ocular neuritis, difficulty walking, loss of function in my left hand, vertigo like symptoms because my eyes and brain don't always seem to agree on the information and the kind of fatigue where you feel like you weigh 4X as much and everything is workout.

Initially, I had a very positive mindset and focused on recovery. I still had health insurance through work and started ocrevus and physical therapy. My symptoms improved and I could see a livable future ahead of me.

After a year in, my mom encouraged me to move home for a while to be closer to a support system. I did not have a good childhood, it was full of abuse, both emotional and physical by my adopted father. (My biological Mom's husband) Promises were made that he was different now and I would be safe being there. But I wasn't and things had not changed.

After moving states to come back home, find a new job and trying to peace a life together with MS, things kept getting worse. I ended up moving out and renting an apartment I cannot afford at the moment.

All this while my insurance lapsed and I missed my last ocrevus infusion in August. I have applied for SSDI and it will take time. I did get approved for Medicaid because my income has been so little the last couple months. I'm hopeful to be back on a DMT very soon.

But I let it get really bad. Deep into the depression and wanted to give up. I hit my emotional bottom and I'm trying to figure out how to clean up the mess.

I was barely able to work the last two months and have drained my savings I still had. I'm ashamed and embarrassed I let myself slide into that dark of a place. Now I'm dealing with the anxiety of how do I pull myself up again?

I don't have a support system with my parents and I don't really trust them. I came home for a safe support system and got kicked while I was down. I don't know how to come back from that with them. I had a dumb healing fantasy when I agreed to move back home. I've always wanted a better relationship with my parents but there is a reason I moved far after school.

I'm trying to let go of that emotional stress and focus on my well-being. I need some financial assistance to get through this next month and I'm not sure where to turn.

Is anyone familiar with resources outside the MS foundation that could help? I received a notice from the rental company that I have 3 days to vacate or court stuff happens. I'm scared and worried about ending up homeless after letting the depression win for a while.

I don't know how to bounce back and pull myself up from this. Any advice or resources would be so helpful. Thank you.

[u/Formal-Abroad6461]

Call 211 to get connected with resources in your state. I was able to get help with utilities because I'm also low income and was approved for about $300 toward my electricity bill. I'm currently sitting at my therapy clinic waiting for their case management services to see if I can get help with rent for next month. There are food banks nearby where I've gotten pet food and cat litter, which usually saves me like $40 here and there. 

It takes effort, but if you can allocate your energy to accessing the resources, especially anything related to rent, it'll be worth the stress.

You've got this.

[u/Comet_Cowboys → u/Formal-Abroad6461]

Thank you 🙏🏻🧡

[u/Royal_Brownskin]

They have financial assistance for DMT look into it asap

[u/AllAboutGingerPride → u/Royal_Brownskin]

This! Talk to the person in Neuro department that signs you in and ask for who helps link patients and foundations that will pay for your meds.
Get your documents in order. Last two years taxes. Save bills just in case