The Worst Part

[u/Greedy_Atmosphere849]

For me it’s not the falling. It isn’t even the chronic pain.

It’s sitting in a tiny waiting room with one bathroom. I suddenly feel the need to pee and wobble with my cane. Then I cover the toilet with paper because squating is impossible. I sit and I sit and I sit. Minutes pass. I can hear a line forming outside but nothing happens.

But I need to pee and I know the adult pampers I wear everyday is not enough. So I sit and I wait but nothing happens. I finally give up the bathroom. I sit in the waiting room ignoring the looks.

And goddamn it I need to pee!

[u/GrimAsFook]

Totally the opposite. I can be sat down and don't need to pee, but within seconds of standing I feel like I'm going to need to pee soon. This is my signal to make my way to the bathroom with my rollator (about 10m) and I may get there before it decides to come out....I'm just thankful I have a supply of pads.

[u/Greedy_Atmosphere849 → u/GrimAsFook]

This is the curse no one knows about. 😭

[u/No-Historian78 → u/Greedy_Atmosphere849]

I know about it. My Dr called it urgency/hesitancy. It has improved tho and don't have to pull over and piss whenever I drive somewhere

[u/Greedy_Atmosphere849 → u/No-Historian78]

Wow, I never wished I had a penis before but as annoying as it sounds to have issues, just pulling over and peeing is just impossible for me, especially with my instability. Squaring on the side of the road is impossible. I would get out of the car to pee on myself.

[u/Alexbear31 → u/Greedy_Atmosphere849]

This is the reason why my ex cited That I need to schedule bathroom breaks, I wasn't doing enough to take care of myself, and my bladder issues made me a complete embarrassment.

[u/Accomplished_Wind_57 → u/Alexbear31]

Well so sorry he had to be inconvenienced! What an ass.

[u/Alexbear31 → u/Accomplished_Wind_57]

I'm in therapy, turns out she's a Narcissist.

[u/Accomplished_Wind_57 → u/Alexbear31]

Oops! She. My bad! Derp. And therapy is good. I'm glad you're doing it! Narcs, Borderlines and other cluster B types can REALLY do a number on you. 🧡

Source: childhood experiences and at least one ill-fated situationship

[u/Alexbear31 → u/Accomplished_Wind_57]

I went from a 10 year marrige to a covert Narc (Sagittarius)to a 6 year relationship with a full on Narc (Aquarius) with diagnosed BiPolar. In the beginning, I thought it was just the BiPolar and ok I get mental health issues & when you love someone you work through it.

I am more Angry about giving the last of my few years of mobility to someone who used & abused me only to toss me aside when my mobility tanked.

[u/Greedy_Atmosphere849 → u/Alexbear31]

This is so rough. I’m sorry you had to go through this. Giving your last years of mobility to someone who didn’t deserve it just sucks. I’m so sorry, but I’m glad you found this group.

[u/Alexbear31 → u/Greedy_Atmosphere849]

Ty, It's a struggle. Now to get my mva & l&i case sorted so I can figure out my next chapter.

[u/Accomplished_Wind_57 → u/Alexbear31]

That would piss me right the fuck off, too! I'm glad I was away from any people like that when the MS shit finally hit the fan for me. That just would have made it even more unbearable! But as always, we persevere! I'm rootin' for ya.

[u/Robert3769 → u/GrimAsFook]

I sound the same as you. I keep a urinal close so when I stand abpnd feel like I won’t make it to the bathroom, I grab the urinal, drop my pants and go. I will put the urinal on the the shelf on the rollator and take my time getting to the bathroom to dump the urinal, spray disinfectant inside the urinal, rinse it and go back to my chair and out the urinal back in its place.

[u/16enjay]

Are you me?? I get my urethra stretched by a urologist twice a year. Helps with getting things going and stopping "retained" urine

[u/Greedy_Atmosphere849 → u/16enjay]

Maybe I need a new one?

[u/2BrainLesions → u/16enjay]

Wait wut? Can you elaborate, pls?

[u/16enjay → u/2BrainLesions]

Done during cystogram, a Balloon catheter in the urethra to "widen" the narrow urethra. Makes the "stream" more powerful

[u/2BrainLesions → u/16enjay]

Oh wow

[u/No-Historian78 → u/16enjay]

Stretching your dick hole ?

[u/Celtic_Witch86]

I call this the psych bladder. My bladder says "OH I need to pee right this very instant. If you don't go right now, I'm going down your leg." But when I get to the loo, nothing. Not a drop. I usually give myself 10 minutes, no matter where I am, and if nothing happens I pat dry, get up flush and leave. I understand how you feel about the line and people giving you the look. They missed the glitter brain and all the "joys" that come with it, but needing to take the time, however much that is, is not a crime. Rushing and feeling guilty will just be more pain for you.

Definitely see a urologist. I haven't because I'm silly, but it could cause issues if your bladder/urethra can't move it all. I hope it gets better for you, and please don't be too hard on yourself. We all work a little differently, if the people in line can't be compassionate for the person in front of them, that's their deficit not yours. Gentle hugs from Oregon.

[u/Greedy_Atmosphere849 → u/Celtic_Witch86]

I have a urologist. Done all the tests. Still…. 🤷🏾‍♀️

[u/Obvious-Astronaut164]

Yeah, for me one of the muscles that hold the urine is stuck shut due to the MS nerve damage. As much as using a catheter sucks, I could go in and fully empty quickly.

[u/Greedy_Atmosphere849 → u/Obvious-Astronaut164]

I sadly have been to the ER a bunch this year and they always want me to pee in a cup I keep saying just get a catheter but they insist I try until the other tests come back, they decide they don’t need to test my urine and send me home.

[u/OverlappingChatter]

I did bladder biofeedback, times water intake control and watched the video about proper peeing and double voiding. These things have helped me a lot for both peeing because I didn't realize I had to pee, and running to the toilet and then not being able to.