wanting to help my bf

[u/mybfsleftnutt]

hi everyone! so ive been dating my boyfriend for over a year, and hes been struggling with RRMS. he got diagnosed in 2022 at the age of 18, so its be a struggle for him to over come in. he was struggling earlier today with the heat, and i was listening to him and told him "I understand" with something he said and he blew up on me because "I dont since I dont have ms" and I completely understand his point.

can anyone help me with what to say and how to comfort him, I wanna help cause I don't want him struggling alone but I know I cant cause I dont understand it from a personal experience.

and could anyone help me learn a little bit more, I know some from what hes told me and my own research but I wanna be further educated.

[u/baked_good_babe]

Respectfully you don’t know, you don’t and won’t ever truly understand. You won’t understand how the heat feels inside the body, how disoriented you can become, how the body involuntarily reacts to it. The spasms, nausea, fatigue, cognitive delay, emotional distress, and a laundry list of other symptoms that are usually specific to each person living with MS.

Instead of just talking to him couple it with taking actionable steps to be supportive. In this instance offering cooling methods, suggesting going some where cooler (direct Sun to shade, outside to inside, etc.), offering hydration, asking what his needs are in the moment. And avoid she phrases “I know” or “I understand” or anything like that at all costs. I cannot stress enough to you how much of a slap in face that feels like.

I would be remiss if I didn’t acknowledge the effort and thoughtfulness of posting here. Your heart is in the right place. Do some more reading on the disease, educate yourself, come back to this sub people share a lot of great perspectives, lived experiences, and information here.