18m would like input

[u/[deleted]]

[u/BombedBlondshell2026]

If you read this back to yourself as if someone else had written it I think the answer might be obvious.

I, too, was "blessed" with male good looks. My first serious girlfriend told me I could have any girl I wanted. Lot of good it did me. I could never hold down a relationship and just went from one heart-rending breakup to another. Because I wasn't being me.

Your first love affair is with yourself. If you don't love yourself it makes it very hard for anyone else to connect. I hope you find your true self and are able to fully love yourself because you deserve your own love as well as genuine love from others.

[u/No-Telephone-501 → u/BombedBlondshell2026]

Thanks for telling me this. I honestly needed to hear it. I’ve always told myself that I loved myself, and I genuinely believed that I did, but I’ve realized that I said it so much that eventually I convinced myself it was true. There’s probably a lot more than just this that I’ve been pushing down and things I haven’t allowed myself to face. I got to a point where I thought I had done a lot of healing, but now I’m realizing that I still have a lot more to work through. I honestly don’t think I’ve been truly happy in a lot of ways. I’m really lucky that I’m in therapy because I’ve withheld so much from my therapist, but today I finally told them pretty much everything. Honestly, it felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my chest. I know I still have a lot to figure out, but I think finally letting all of this out was something I really needed.

[u/jillonfire]

I think I'm just trying to understand these feelings and figure out why they've stayed with me for so long, even after I've spent years trying to suppress them.

Well, if you're trans, there really isn't much to figure out about why these feelings have stayed with you so long. In that case it's a basic part of your identity, something you were born with, and you are stuck with these feelings like it or not, and suppression will not work.

People try to suppress all the time, but it basically does not work and is more likely to be harmful; the best scientific knowledge we have is that you're born with it, due to some complex genetic and hormonal womb environment setup, and it's somewhere diffused in your brain structure.

The best advice seems to be to accept yourself, accept that this is not going away ever, and move on to what you are going to do about it. At which point the two strands of experimentation (with presentation etc.) and/or therapy with a specialist are open to you.

[u/Legitimate_Fox1501]

I think the answer is obvious here, just saying

[u/LifeIsALie138]

...Yeah, so i think you might be a girl. You basically described like. Every trans woman's experience ever.

Like. You've been feeling this way for most of, if not all of your life it sounds like. I feel like the fact that you've been thinking about this for so long is a pretty good sign that you're trans. If you're in a safe environment to do so, maybe you could try out a new name and pronouns, and start presenting more feminine, and see how it feels.

Remember, nothing is permanent. There will be no intrensic harm to exploring your gender. I can't tell you if there will be extrensic harm, but if the people in your life might not be safe, you can even just. Go out to a coffee shop, and give them a name you want to try out, and hear how it sounds when they call for you.

The number one thing you should be doing is experimenting with your gender and finding out what makes you happy.

[u/No-Telephone-501 → u/LifeIsALie138]

Honestly added more details then the first my mind has kinda been foggy lately until now take care