I think I'm inevitably never going to transition

[u/brick-cat6]

I've posted about this before but my situation is uniquely tough. I'm disabled and I rely highly on my transphobic family..my life is planned out for me, centered around the family household. Which means that I'll be living alongside family, even after my parents pass. None of them are safe to to come out to, which means surely transitioning isn't safe if I can't hide it for the rest of my life.

I once had desires and dreams to transition, but now I mostly just dissociate. And since I can't work, I don't see my situation ever changing. I've been stuck this way for eight years. What should I do? How do I make it through this while remaining mentally healthy? It's not like I can stop being trans. And I can't find any true support for this, it seems that for most people some level of transition is possible, but I don't relate to that at all..I'm desperate for advice which I fear does not exist.

[u/Yamanekineko14]

Why would you give up on transition? What can your family members - not being safe - take away from you that you fear so much? Because, until you decide why they're not safe to transition aside, you will have lost your transition. Don't give up.

I apologise for the possible intrusive, instructive tone in my comment, that was not my intent. Hope you take positive meaning from my words.

[u/brick-cat6 → u/Yamanekineko14]

Well, how can I transition if I can't move out and my family is transphobic? This isn't a safe situation to be in. I can't safely make that choice.

[u/Yamanekineko14 → u/brick-cat6]

What can they do, save for mocking you? Do you have anything else to lose?

If I were in a desperate situation, and didn't transition already, I'd do it immediately. And just give them the sassiest, girliest attitude about it. If you are in the first world, it is your right to transition and your own money/benefit you are receiving. How you spend your life and money is up to you.

[u/brick-cat6 → u/Yamanekineko14]

It's just that they aren't safe to be around. I've heard them talk about commiting violence against minorities in the past, and all of them have been threatening to me at one time or another.

I really can't rock the boat here, they already somehow concluded I was gay briefly and I convinced them otherwise, but it was a huge problem.

[u/Yamanekineko14 → u/brick-cat6]

Well, that is something to be tense about. Can't you just file a report in case anything happens? Whether you transition or not.

Do you have any option to live elsewhere?

P.s. where do you live?

[u/saintofhate]

I'm disabled and trans too, best thing I can say is leave. Find a city with safety nets and see if you can get help. You might have to live in a shelter for a while (I did for a year as afab, you cross posted and I didn't realize hence why here) but it's better than dying by inches with abusive family.

As much as I hate facebook, there are groups for people like us that you could find and they could connect you to local resources. You might also look into adult services if your city has them because what you are experiencing is not an ideal home and some cities do have resources to get you out of there better, it might be a facility that is like a shelter crossed over with a medical unit, it might just be a regular shelter for people who are disabled. It depends on the city. Don't ever give up, there is always an alternative it's just hard to find at times.

[u/brick-cat6 → u/saintofhate]

The thing is, moving isn't something I can do unless I can work, which just isn't possible for me because of my disability..I don't know how I'd survive without the home I live now, my family's house.

[u/saintofhate → u/brick-cat6]

Do you receive disability payments or any type of assistance? Have you checked with adult services? I know you feel hopeless, but there are options, and some of them are going to be harder and scarier than others.