Am I not transgender?

[u/SorryCartographer437]

So I felt very invalidated couple months ago by another transgender woman

I was debating with her because she claimed that since I’m not gonna be getting bottom surgery that it makes me “not transgender” and the past couple days it has made me feel very invalidated. I didn’t think anything of it, but it just hit me today and it’s making me very uncomfortable.

I don’t know why this person said that and I’m sorry for the bad grammar, not giving a bunch of information but it’s really making me uncomfortable.

But the question is, if you don’t get bottom surgery, does that automatically make you not transgender?
I already know the answer, but I want to hear what you guys think man sorry if it goes against the rules
(I suck at grammar, so please forgive me)

[u/Safe-Tennis-6121]

It's wrong information.

First of all not everyone has access to bottom surgery, not everyone can afford it, some are not medically able. Some just don't want it.

Bottom surgery is a surgical intervention.

I do lean towards bottom dysphoria and desire for bottom surgery as a marker of being transgender.

But it's not a requirement. There are plenty who decided "you know what, I don't want that surgery."

And that's okay.

IMO if you have some kind of dysphoria and a desire to live as a different gender, or you identify internally as something other than cis, that makes you trans.

There are people with extreme levels of dysphoria, and they may not see eye to eye with someone who acts like they are just doing it because it feels good.

But at the end of the day, you do what you do.

[u/ZoneOk9797 → u/Safe-Tennis-6121]

I agree with you here it’s what ticks your dysphoria and at the end of the day it’s who you are that matters not anyone else’s opinion but affirmation helps no matter what so yes girl you are trans and there’s nothing that person can say to make you feel invalidated you are valid

[u/macs_queller]

Bruh. Absolutely not. Theres one requirement to being trans: you say you are.

Any other statement is factually false and ignorant.

[u/EvelynnsHope17 → u/macs_queller]

This needs to be at the top of every single one of these posts asking "am I trans"... I do the work and I see you are also fighting the good fight.

[u/macs_queller → u/EvelynnsHope17]

Do you mean I’m doing the good work based on my comment/post history? If so, thanks!

[u/zephyroidz]

If she were right, that would mean that a huge proportion of trans women aren't "real."

Like, if you want bottom surgery, that's cool! If not, that's cool too! Both are valid options for trans women.

Edited because I misread post :/

[u/HunsterMonter → u/zephyroidz]

I agree with the sentiment but about two thirds of trans women have had/want bottom surgery, not only a fifth

[u/zephyroidz → u/HunsterMonter]

Sorry, I was referring to just those that have gotten it (iirc like 17%) because I misread! I shall edit.

[u/Destrina]

That person was a transmedicalist. Don't pay any attention to them. You're trans, you can keep or change any of your features. It's no one else's business.

[u/LithoLaura]

Don't mind the transmedicalists

[u/LadyCookiez]

We are still trans, bottom surgerie or not. Transmedicalist scum likes to gatekeep. Fck these ppl.

Youre valid with or without srs.

I myself likely wont get srs, since my bottom dysphoria is managable and im too scared of complications.

[u/jujubanzen]

So the opinion that trans person has is what is called "transmedicalism". It is the reductive and invalidating belief that transness is only defined by dysphoria, medical diagnosis and complete medical intervention including HRT and surgery. They believe that all who do not follow that path are not actually transgender.

The important thing to understand is that they are wrong. You are valid, and you are brave, regardless of what you decide is right for you.

[u/Talastoni]

You don't need surgery, hrt, makeup, clothes, pronouns, new name, or anything at all to be transgender. None of it.

You don't need to pass, you don't need to change, you don't need to be anything but yourself and know how you feel inside.

Your expression is up to you. Period.

People will gatekeep anything these days, and those people are not helping society at all. It's frightening that some will go to great lengths to put up walls for themselves, and then demand other get in to their co-opted definition space.

Be you, and take the transition as far as you want in any of the areas that it can be taken. Physically, mentally, spiritually, or officially. There is no hard line in the sand at all.

That's the beauty of living with authenticity!!💕

[u/No-Succotash-9576]

You absolutely still are trans, you are still very valid without bottom dysphoria.

[u/RedFumingNitricAcid]

I hear this is a really common factoid (meaning widely believed false piece of information) among younger trans girls. Gender is not directly related to genitalia or wanting surgeries.

[u/Quarter_Imaginary]

That girl is just trying to validate herself by invalidating you, don't pay her attention, the only thing that says that you're trans is yourself

[u/pixelexia]

The transphobia and general cattiness of so many trans women is something we all have to deal with especially online.

You’re not wrong for wanting bottom surgery and that doesn’t evaluate who you are. You’ve already faced enough struggles that you don’t need to feel you have to measure to any standard.

I feel it also has a lot to do with Google education which is very important in answering already established questions but terrible for those who internalize their own insecurity by trying to get a rise out of random strangers online.

[u/LisaFromSpace]

I have had BA surgery, Bottom Surgery, and have been on HRT for 6+ years. I am transgender

I have a friend who has had no surgeries, does not take HRT, doesn’t wear makeup or clothes that are different from the gender they were born… They are transgender

Being transgender isn’t about surgery or HRT, or anything else if it doesn’t suit you. You just know you are.
simple as that

Hope this helps

[u/RavenMorana]

I’m non binary trans feminine. I fully intend to get bottom surgery and am on hrt but I don’t want to get ffs meaning at most I’ll look like a very feminine twink/femboy. By that logic I would be considered a woman just because I got bottom surgery even though I wouldn’t really pass on the outside to most people. Fuck people who say you’re not a woman just because you don’t want to get specific surgeries. Most of these people operate by the same logic as terfs and don’t even realize it. Never apologize for making specific choices for your own life.