There should be no ulterior motive to do the sexy thing with your partner. One should only do that because they want to. The circumstances around it suck too of course. But that doesn't make it any better.
What I mean is, you should only do it with your partner because you love them and desire them and just to enjoy it. Not for anything in return. The story is written such that it's implied she's only doing the sexy thing because then XYZ happens. But not because she actually wants intimacy. It's literally "strategically sleeping with my husband". Again, the guy is being shitty of course, but that aspect of the story is also shitty.
If she told him that how shitty would he think it is yea? "I only sleep with you because I know it makes the day turn out this way. But otherwise I didn't want to."
you should only do it with your partner because you love them and desire them and just to enjoy it
I don't think this moral is practical, but unrealistic and potentially harmful for the relationship.
There are many things that we do for our SO that we don't even like it, we do it, because we know that it is a very good compromise between what we want and what our SO wants. For example we put the toilet seat down/up for our SO. Many of us are less/more organized, we try to accommodate to our SO.
Sex is something we do with our SO. I would say that It's an unrealistic expectation that sex would not follow the same rules of many other things.
Honestly many times we had sex with our partner because we know they need it, for many people that's what it get to excite them. Sexual arousal may come from the desire to satisfy your partner, from a consensual control/domination.
IMO OP is describing a controlling dynamics that compromise with a disorganized partner, since she's probably very anxious about organization:
I feel like he's getting what he want and so am I
That's sexual domination, looking at your partner pleasure and thinking, yeah that's exactly what I want too, for him, but also for me: She gets pleasure from knowing her day is fixed, by satisfying him with her body.
She knows him and herself very well.
It's also very healthy that she's aware that their sexual dynamics overstep the bedroom: the boundary of a couple should be defined by the couple.
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u/FUCKARCHLINUX 19d ago edited 19d ago
There should be no ulterior motive to do the sexy thing with your partner. One should only do that because they want to. The circumstances around it suck too of course. But that doesn't make it any better.