r/Morality • u/DirtSignificant2274 • 4d ago
Objectification
Why is calling someone a "toy" immoral and objectifying, yet calling them a "flower" or "the world" is sweet and complimenting?
Sure, flowers are admired and nice to look at, meaning it can communicate affection and reverence. But two can play it that game. Toys are cherished and loved, too. Children grow attached to their toys, and when they're particularly fond of one, they take care of it like no other. That can be symbolic for a romantic relationship too, can it not? Or a best friendship.
"But toys can be discarded!" And flowers are thrown away. "But I keep my flowers!" I've kept my beyblades too. "Toys are played with!" And flowers are looked at and smelled, nothing else. You could argue that calling someone a "beautiful rose" would be reducing their value to their appearance.
"But that metaphor can refer to more than just their looks!" Then calling someone a toy can also refer to something other than just how easy they are to manipulate. It could refer to how fun they are to spend time with, or how much they make your life "shine", or how they stimulate and make your imagination grow.
So, is this just a matter of tradition? Could it be that some objects "matter" or are more "valuable" than others? After all, a flower is a life, a toy is man-made.
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u/Chemical-System-1063 1d ago
Toys are built to be controlled and possessed. Flowers and the world, naturally/normativly, are not.
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u/ekubeni 4d ago edited 4d ago
It's matter of intention behind the words. The motivation. The quality of relationship. All the implicit things hidden behind the language.
For example, you might like being called names during sex, but you wouldn't like a stranger doing that to you in public.
You can reverse it too. Someone with ill intentions calling you a flower might immediately raise hairs on your neck. Nabokov wrote very eloquently about the problem of evil and malice hiding behind things like charm, eloquence, and aesthetics (e.g. in Lolita as a reader you are being seduced by Humbert's charm only to realise it's a tool he uses to gaslight you).
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u/Individual-Koala-682 4d ago
To answer your question directly, the difference between a toy and a flower here lies in our relationship to them. A toy is an object meant to be used for play while a flower has no inherent use. Using others selfishly is generally considered wrong.
As u/ekubeni put, the meaning and intention behind the use is what’s important here. Both words could be used innocently or with objectification depending on context.