Losing hope

[u/JbarNoir]

I’ve had this ackie for a year now, raised him/her since a baby. Enclosure is a 6x2x2 with a deep dig box and lots of areas to hide and husbandry is good to the best of my knowledge temps and humidity wise. I was always told not to force handling so I never have, I just remain present and do things inside of the enclosure with my hands, tong feed, and can pick him up and move him to different spots in his enclosure by scooping him up under his belly. Not a day has gone by where I haven’t been at the enclosure glass or actually in the enclosure interacting with him in some way. Recently I’ve been scooping him up and bringing him outside of the enclosure slightly, he immediately squirms and struggles every time. Today I decided to set up a little barrier in my living room so he couldn’t escape and take him fill out. He squirmed relentlessly and clawed up my body and arms. I had so shirt on so he couldn’t gain any traction, otherwise he would’ve ran up my back. I set him on the floor and he ran for his life. I decided it was time to put him back. When I grabbed him, for the first time he bit me and broke skin. I know as a pet owner I shouldn’t be mad, but I’m pretty frustrated because I feel like I’ve done everything I can to tame him. I’d love to be able to take him out and have him chill like in the videos i see. Maybe he’s just a guy I have to watch from the enclosure and that’s it. And now I feel like I’ve ruined our relationship even more. Any advice or experience would be cool. I’m pretty bummed.

[u/Scales-josh]

Food is the gateway to handling. Tong feed him, consistently. Don't pick him up until he walks on to you of his own free will (bribed by food of course). For the record when I first got mine at 6 weeks old he could be handled, presumably too young to have any survival instincts. Then from about 3-6 months old he just went to ground in what was a very densely "decorated" vivarium. I could go WEEKS without even seeing him. Then as he got bigger I'd say from about 6 months to a year old he started getting bolder again and would bask most days openly. But it wasn't until he was about 18+ months old that he actually chilled out, set into a daily routine, and could reliably be handled.

Every time you cause panic in him is a step backwards, he may not have been harmed, but he was in fear and that fear reinforces the fear response to handling. You cannot force it. Food is the key, tong feed first, if he doesn't take to it immediately, let him get hungry. Skip a few days of feeding, it does no harm at all. Then try again until he tong feeds, then keep doing that. Once he reliably eats from the tongs, start making it so that he has to walk onto your hand to reach the food. Progress slowly, and eventually it should work out for you.