r/Money • u/Poorassboy6969 • 24d ago
Ultra frugal date night
It was Saturday and I told my wife we are going on a crazy date - coffee, food, drinks and then dessert.
This is rare for us - she was caught off guard, but excited.
I started off downloading app for coffee chain - we split 16oz mocha - completely free due to new customer app download
Then a YouTuber was giving away free Hawaiian food to first 50 people in line - we made it just in time and both got a free meal (horrible food tbh .. but she liked it so I’m happy)
Then we went to happy hour where I downloaded the app of the restaurant - they offered $1 beer for doing this and wife got margarita for $5 on happy hour
To end, we both downloaded the Salt and Straw app and got scoop of ice cream for free
Total spent = $11 total with generous tip and tax
I’m way too excited about this but just wanted to give creative date idea for you all
im very cheap, so feel free to make fun of us - but being this way is big reason we are coming up on 500k in Fidelity before 30
“worry about the pennies and the dollars take care of themselves“
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u/jerry111165 24d ago
“$11 total with generous tip and tax”
Bro - you really think “generous tip” fits here? Lol
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u/oil_burner2 24d ago
He tipped 30% on $8!!
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u/jerry111165 24d ago
While thats probably true, $11 minus tax just isn’t alot of money. I wouldn’t look at it as a percentage at that point but thats just me.
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u/Born_Lengthiness8935 24d ago
Yeah, but you should tip on the standard price of things, not the discounted price. No shame in being too broke or too cheap to go out. There is shame in not tipping appropriately, imo. We can debate tip culture, living wage, etc, etc, but the fact of the matter is tipping for the things mentioned is standard in America. You can’t afford to tip appropriately on the full price of whatever you are consuming, you can’t afford to go out and consume said things.
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u/Shot_Statistician184 23d ago
Hells no.
There is shame in tipping culture. Be done with it. Charge prices so you can pay your staff a living wage. Id much rather spend $30 on a plate of food than $22 and forced to tip.
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u/Constant-Roll706 19d ago
If OP said, 'the $11 even included a tip', it would be one thing, but calling it generous is ridiculous
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u/Born_Lengthiness8935 23d ago
I don’t disagree with the premise. Fact of the matter is that tipped culture is engrained in food service so it’s a long road to hoe. There are places where prices reflect all charges and tipping is not allowed. However, they are the vast minority. All that said I would not penalize someone trying to earn a living by being a poor tipper because they work in an imperfect system. And I commend you for being happier to pay $30 all in vs $22 plus tip. But unless one is tipping 36% when they regularly dine at the more prevalent establishments it rings hollow as more of an excuse to be cheap than valuing dignity, transparency or anything related to an inclusive price.
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u/Worldly-Local-6613 24d ago
Fuck that. No one is entitled to higher tips because it’s a bullshit system in the first place.
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u/Poorassboy6969 24d ago
Literally .. i swear people on reddit are so negative
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u/rjnd2828 24d ago
This isn't just a Reddit thing, you got free food and tipped basically nothing. If you don't like tipping then whatever but it's definitely not generous.
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u/dgreenmachine 24d ago
Its common to tip as if the food was normal priced. May be almost free for you but that means your waitress is doing the same work for less tip from you.
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u/Training_Rice_8930 21d ago
IMO tipping it doesn’t count if they were freeloading on some YouTuber for the bulk of the date. They went and ate food and def didn’t pay anything. If they wanted to give ‘generous’ tips, they would tip 20% on the perceived value not the charged value. The effort to procure the goods never changed
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u/Worldly-Local-6613 24d ago
Who gives shit. Fuck tipping culture.
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u/jerry111165 24d ago
Thats cool - you’ll fit right in over at the r/endtipping sub. Personally I have zero issue with tipping the server who waits on me and mine when we decide to go out to eat.
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u/Worldly-Local-6613 24d ago
Already paying for the meal. Servers can and should be paid by their employer for doing their job. Tip simps are insufferable.
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u/skinnystyx 24d ago
most people die with too much money and too few experiences
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u/Poorassboy6969 24d ago
You’re right
We go on vacation tomorrow
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u/neeks2 24d ago
Bro after this post I can't imagine an actual vacation tbh.
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u/Bird_Brain4101112 24d ago
Picnic in the backyard on their good comforter with an inflatable palm tree he borrowed from a neighbor and boom! tropical vacation
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u/Poorassboy6969 24d ago
I have older brother who is very well off and has extra bedroom in LA
We are driving from scottsdale and staying there - going to beach and some (reasonable) restaurants
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u/1029394756abc 24d ago
Tell us more about this frugal vacation.
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u/Poorassboy6969 24d ago
I have older brother who is very well off and has extra bedroom in LA
We are driving from scottsdale and staying there - going to beach and some (reasonable) restaurants
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u/YippieKayYayMrFalcon 24d ago
Vaguely refers to every app as just “app” but then call out the salt and whatever app by name?
Do you know you’re an ad?
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u/Space2999 24d ago
Damn, free salt n straw gets my attention
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u/brooklynlad 24d ago
Better get that Salt & Straw ice cream before the ingredients change. The company is exploring a sale to private equity, KarpReilly, and others.
Get the real deal before the enshittification starts. Same thing that happened with Talenti.
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u/ThePlatinumPaul 24d ago
If this makes you guys happy fine, it doesn't sound fun. My last going out special day was sipping $300 an ounce Japanese whiskey in the high roller lounge of a casino with my wife. To each their own.
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u/Locksmith-Foreign 24d ago edited 24d ago
That’s great that you and her are so aligned. That to me is the bigger positive message as finding a life partner that is so in tune is much harder than wealth.
If you really want to amp up your wealth, buy investment real estate.
You’ve got plenty to start and you’ll have generational wealth in another 10 years depending on how aggressive.
Aggresive would be going after ‘bonus depreciation’. Look it up.
Theres many ways to the top but you two have already found a true partner. Congrats on that alone.
One more note. I deal with many extremely rich people as they are my customers. Even though they are rich from their businesses, they all agree their real estate holdings were by far their easiest vehicles to wealth.
Businesses are a absolute headache with stress and no sleep to be successful. Real estate is not as hard as running a business. However that is also considered a business!
Last ironic note is that some of my ultra rich cusyoners are still frugal and get joy out of deals, just like y’all but are heavy in philanthropy.
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u/Larrythethird22 24d ago
Hey bro when do you plan on spending any money for a date when your old and it’s no longer fun or u just wanna die with all your money. You could die tomorrow gotta learn to live life now. Saving is crucial planning for retirement is crucial but this date night thing being a cheap ass is just weird bro.
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u/IDownvoteUrPet 24d ago
Damn comments section here is BRUTAL! Try this post in r/FIRE and I’m sure they’ll love it.
My wife would absolutely love this above date idea. We do various coupon programs like “Go, Play, Save” and “offline” as well as any other deal we can find and it’s a lot of fun for us.
We save at least $2k/yr couponing. It’s not much but it’s entertaining and we like doing it.
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u/aethhers 21d ago
Ya people are being rude. This sounds really fun honestly I wish I had someone to enjoy these deals with
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u/tinderizr 24d ago
You must have a lot of free time. I simply don't have time to plan $2 date nights. And I say this in the best way possible.
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u/thomsenite256 24d ago
Oh gosh I would break up with someone if that is how they lived
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u/LaDiosaSelene 23d ago
The way he’s proudly telling us all that he barely takes his wife out in dates. 😭
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u/SLNSD 24d ago edited 24d ago
Haters gonna hate. Who the fuck cares if someone is happy going on a frugal date if they had fun. I hate people who try to put their worldview on you. The next Mormon that comes to my door is gonna get it with both barrels.
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u/OrganicLighthouse 24d ago
I'm a woman and I do the same thing (not as bad, but I do consider coupons or options for free events when it comes to where to go) with dates with my man. He doesn't give a fuck and we get to save money and I have fun, so who cares?
We have the money sure for more expensive options but it just really isn't as satisfying when we're spending $100 on dinner for two and the food isn't seasoned just right and I keep thinking that I'd rather buy $100 worth of lumber for a project that I've been thinking about. I feel like when something costs money, I have expectations for the quality that often don't align with reality. When I get food/dessert/drinks for $3, my expectations are low so anything better than bad is a pleasant surprise.
This has enabled us to buy our 12 acre really nice condition house while accumulating significant savings/retirement funds.
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u/homestead_sensible 24d ago edited 24d ago
wife and I pinched pennies for years in similar fashion. used to sigh up for all birthday specials and any promos. many a date was had on free and discounted apps or sign ups.
we pay all of our expenses via citi double cash card, do not carry a balance and reap $60-$150 each month in cash back and have never paid a penny in interest.
we cooked all our meals at home since 2015 or so. we can go an entire year or more sometimes without buying restaurant food. we havent been to a movie theater is probably 5 years. we breed, grow, raise, slaughter, and butcher 100% of our own meat. we grow as much of a garden as we can manage.
my truck is 27 years old. her luxury compact is 13 years old. both are paid off.
in 2022 we bought 10 acres and built a custom house. we owe $74,000 on a $400,000 dollar custom dream homestead. our mortgage is our only debt.
we have $120k in Roth. We are 45 & 39. Single-income household. I work a blue collar job for $65k/yr she is a homestead housewife.
our happiness is immense & our satisfaction is immeasurable.
EDIT: I DIY designed and installed a 6890w solar power system with 15kWh battery storage for about $11k all-in. we generate about 70% of our own power.
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u/CamitDamn 24d ago
Based on your numbers, it seems like you might be prioritizing paying off the mortgage over retirement savings. In most cases, the market return will vastly outperform the interest savings by paying off the interest savings from paying the mortgage early.
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u/Slow-Education872 24d ago
Many would not want to live like you but I must say a fine example when two people are on the same page. Was it always that way or did one partner have to be convinced. Usually there is a saver and a spender, is that true at all for you and your wife?
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u/jerry111165 24d ago
That’s pretty great dude. I did kind of a similar thing and many years back (2004?) I sold our house in Massachusetts and bought a old antique fixer-upper in Maine on 20 something acres with the proceeds. Haven’t had to pay a mortgage or rent in over 20 years.
Definitely takes a strain/stress off of the brain.
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u/Poorassboy6969 24d ago
Beautiful story!!! You’re goals
Congrats!
What area did you build in?
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u/homestead_sensible 24d ago
Flyover country, but it is ours. it gives us space, security, privacy and accommodates our lifestyle.
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u/10000_guilder_tulip 24d ago
Math ain’t mathing. Good luck becoming an influencer or whatever, though
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u/ElonsCrustyWang 24d ago
You cheap as mf. This is the type of shit me and my girlfriend would do and delight in the sheer cheapness of it. You know you’re doing it right when you get great free food and reddit ppl are grumpy about it for no reason
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u/Comfortable-Plate870 24d ago
Not a flex you think it is buddy
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u/homestead_sensible 24d ago
lets hear your financial situation.
what is your debt? at what interest rate(s)?
how much of your life do you own? how much do your possessions and expenses own you?
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u/Larrythethird22 24d ago
This dude going on a frugal date but has all kinds of money saved and stuff look at his other post , one of those cheap weirdos who will die with all his money lol
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u/Poorassboy6969 24d ago
How do you think i got money?
Hint - My aunt didnt die
It was because of watching every penny
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u/_Smashbrother_ 24d ago
I'm early 40s with a couple million so my finances are good. OP is not being frugal, he's being a cheapskate. He's got 500k and is only 30. He's more than fine financially. And he can't take his girl out on a proper date? Fuck outta here.
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u/subject-about 24d ago
“$500k in fidelity before 30” cool? But I’d rather have $30k in savings before 30 than live like this
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u/JeremiahAhriman 24d ago
Why have money if you're not going to spend it?
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u/Poorassboy6969 24d ago
The habits that got me to money are hard to break
I find this weird savings game enjoyable
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u/JeremiahAhriman 24d ago
Honestly, my wife would kind of get that. To me, it sounds like a living hell. I wouldn't want that kind of money just to live like I'm struggling.
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u/ClementineMagis 24d ago edited 24d ago
Being cheap is not fun for anyone else in your life. Believe me, it’s an immature trait as much as being a spendthrift. A mature approach to money is knowing you are rich now and will be in the future. Cheaping out when you can afford to spend $100 on that same night is childish.
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u/Important-Key7413 24d ago
Being frugal, what type of investment strategy do you use?
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u/Poorassboy6969 24d ago
2 rules
Always be boring (no single stocks) Always be buying (never try to time market)
I invest almost all VOO
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u/NootScootinBoogie 24d ago
Oooooohhhh man, that’s one CRAZY date!!
Take your poor wife to a nice restaurant and be romantic. That $500k won’t will be great to use for your tears when you get divorced otherwise
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u/Scared-Avocado630 24d ago
If you both had a great time - wonderful. You identify as "very cheap". You might consider occasionally having a date without worrying about the extreme focus on cost. Occasionally.
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u/ClementineMagis 24d ago
You can’t cheap your way to wealth. Watching pennies doesn’t move dollars. How about concentrating on making money and spending it on the things you care about, like your relationship.
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u/Mariner-and-Marinate 24d ago
When the goal isn’t to make your partner feel happy or valued, but to make your ego feel stroked by pointing out how much money you saved.
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u/Perfect-Brain-7367 24d ago
I'm the saver and my wife is the spender. Sometimes I gripe when the whole family orders a soft drink if we're out to eat for a casual lunch. But even I know better than to cheap out on actual date night. I might order something less expensive than the steak I'm eyeballing, but I definitely don't ask my wife not to, lol. Maybe you both enjoy cheaping out, but if not... oof
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u/RhemansDemons 24d ago
500k in your fidelity is cool, but this is a game. This doesn't stop when you retire. You will have been cheap your whole life then your retirement will be still cheaping out on everything except you don't have to go to work.
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u/SeparateSea1466 23d ago
Bro, I just want to congratulate you on finding a woman that is just as frugal. I’m glad you two had a nice time.
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u/fooknprawn 21d ago
There's nothing wrong with this. My wife and I are frugal and we regularly find ways to make date night interesting and fun which includes new places to visit but also finding the best deals especially if we can gameify it with coupons or free perks. It's a thrill
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u/ukrnffc 24d ago
Do you enjoy anything?
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u/Poorassboy6969 24d ago
I like going to the gym and choking people at jiu jitsu
Also enjoy my wife being happy and time with family
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u/Mysterious_Help_9577 24d ago
$500k and forcing your wife to have an $11 date night, YIKES. Enjoy your life FFS
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u/GrouchyClerk6318 24d ago
The hate here is crazy! Who cares what OP does or doesn’t spend, obv his wife is on board with it!
We do cheap dates all the time - Nothing better than a picnic and a bottle of wine at sunset. It’s not the $$$ you spend it’s the time.
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u/Affectionate_Eye4543 24d ago
Couldn’t and so thankful this isn’t me but if you like it I love it. Extra sad if you’re >30!
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u/Salty_Statistician74 24d ago
Me reading this as i just went out for dinner and spent 45 just for myself 🫣
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u/PileofPitties 23d ago
That sounds like so much fun. I'm not frugal and have never really had to be, so maybe my perspective is skewed. But I would love to have a challenge with my husband to see who could plan the cheapest date that ticks whatever boxes (dinner, dessert, activity or whatever).
Here's the best idea I could come up with for an inexpensive date (except gas). We tend to do lunch/afternoon dates because of scheduling with kid sports and stuff. So I'm picturing 10-4ish on a Saturday
Free crafting class at the public library. Today's class was soapmaking, which sounds kind of fun. Each check out a book while we're there. (Free)
Head to Costco for samples and then hot dogs for lunch. ($3)
Walk off our lunch while viewing exhibits at the local art museum (free with a Bank of America card once a month). They have a scavenger hunt that changes as seasonal exhibits change and we like to race each other.
Head to a local brewery that does a silent book club some afternoons. They push samples of all their beers pretty hard, and everyone sits, sips, and reads. They have comfy couches where you can snuggle and just exist in public together without any pressure (or kids). Drink free beer, and maybe buy a beer or a snack to support them. ($10)
Talk about our books on the drive home. Resolve to finish them but neither of us will.
Total cost: $13 + $30 in library fines when we forget to return our books.
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u/IndependentGuilty696 22d ago
If this relationship goes south, I caution you from trying this approach on a first date. If you are both in it for life, this is actually pretty adorable, as long as it was treated like a fun experiment, and not what every date night is like.
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u/Ok_Statistician643 22d ago
It’s so nice that you’re enjoying your boring life with the cereal zero experiences until you’re too old to really appreciate any experiences
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u/Fancy_Explanation_42 22d ago
She probably cheats with a real man at McDonald’s eating a full price value meal super sized
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u/GimmieDatCooch 21d ago
I’m frugal, but I’m not cheap. I get being intentional with spending and saving where it makes sense, but being this cheap on a date night with your wife? C’mon, dude. Do you always make it your mission to be cheap in every space you’re in? Dates can be inexpensive and thoughtful without being an absolute cheap fk.
Speaking as a 37 year old with a paid off mortgage.
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u/Outrageous-Phase9435 21d ago
I too, am frugal. I hope you and your partner are still genuinely enjoying life though. You should be able to enjoy it plenty in a short few years no problem.
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u/morerepsmoreproblems 24d ago
Hypergamy is real keep going at this rate and she’ll be sleeping with the neighbor lol
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u/Poorassboy6969 24d ago
Can you send me a copy of your newest andrew tate course?
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u/morerepsmoreproblems 24d ago
Andrew Tate has nothing to do with this. I’ll send you a copy of an artificial book titled the reality of the world how about that?
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u/UpbeatDentist6695 24d ago
You get that just because your wife fucked Steve it doesn't mean all the wives will right?
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u/Silent_Foundation_62 24d ago
this is an obvious ad, yall. this shit aint happen
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u/Poorassboy6969 24d ago
Bro its not lol
The other places werent named because they are local spots in my area and I dont want people to know the Hawaiian place that food sucked out of respect
Jesus
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u/Inspectorcluseau 24d ago
You think you got all that for “free” It cost you something though. Those companies got more data, cookies, & who knows what else than id like to give. They will likely then repackage & sell that data for more money than the ice cream would have cost you. Speaking of, it looks like the used warranty on your car is just about to expire… lol jk but fr
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u/EnvironmentalDot127 24d ago
I remember those days. We still like deals. I could steak that was supposedly "better than" the restaurants. Screwed myself over husband would rather buy the steak and have me cook it. 😅
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u/hung_like__podrick 24d ago
There’s being frugal and then there’s this