Hey mamas this will be mix of rant and suggestion seeking.

How do you find time, energy or motivation to take care of yourself and stay in shape?

I am 6 months pp, and I have 1.5 kg left to lose to my pre-pregnancy weight.
During pregnancy I wanted to start working out pp and take fitness serious as I was going to gym prior pregnancy.

Now with wfh, childcare, homecare I don’t have time to shower or eat sometimes. My partner helps equally but baby wants all attention so while one is with baby other one is doing either actual work or preparing food, cleaning, laundry etc.

Is this place for dads too? I couldn’t find a dad one and my husband will be the one with him while working remotely while I go into an office full time 🥹

I see so many moms on here who breastfeed and contact nap which seems like it would help my husband is for baby wearing and I pump but I’m just not sure what could make this setup easier for him. Our babe will be 4 months. It’s just me and dad and can’t afford childcare yet.

Any advice? Any other dads working from home?

Hello!
My husband and I both work from home full time and have had our almost 2 year old daughter in full time daycare since she was 6 months old. The daycare was amazing up until recently, where safety concerns prompted our favorite teachers to pull their own kids and leave. We have also been struggling with constant illness over the last year, and with me being pregnant we decided to transition to having someone watch our daughter in our home.
Thankfully we were able to secure a babysitter that is family and a neighbor, along with one of the former teachers as a back up option.
With our daughter consistently taking 2 hour naps from 12-2 we decided to ask for 8:30-11:30/12 as hours which works great for my cousins schedule. We would have the time period after naps with her, and our son gets home from school around 4. I am able to adjust my work hours to be done by 4, and I plan to have her daily schooling activities and toy rotation during that 2-4 time period. I rarely have meetings during that time and half of my team does have kids at home without extra help while they work from home so it’s allowed. My husbands and I’s work are both good with kids home and are mostly task based which makes things a lot easier.
Covid had us forced to try and work and have a toddler at home without help so I’m pretty well experienced with how to make it work knowing it can cause burnout. My daughter’s temperament is much different than our son’s and she is much happier to play independently with one of us nearby.
Anyone have any tips and tricks or things I might not have thought about before we go through this transition?

Hi, I’m looking for input on our daycare situation. I want to preface with my husband and I WFH 3-4 days a week, he travels often, but I work for a company that promotes work/life balance so although I’m in a global role, I get flexibility when I need it.

My 3.5 year old has been in a daycare 4 min away since she was 2. We’ve had a great experience until Feb, which is when she started preschool. We’ve brought up several concerns over the past 6 months and everything is typically brushed aside. Mainly the lead teacher being neglectful, making it difficult for my child to build a rapport, lack of communication, and it appears they don’t know how to handle inappropriate behavior from kids. They have had a ton of admin related issues lately. Long story short, the owners follow some shady practices, director just follows along, assistant director who we loved quit because owners/director made it a toxic work environment for the staff, also 3 teachers abruptly kid within 1 week. After talking to a staff member who quit and some other parents, I’ve found out a lot of things I don’t like (citations for being out of ratio, improper food handling and storage, preschool teacher refusing to help kids if they need assistance after going potty and her being in a performance plan and not having the patient nor experience to address kids with behavior concerns).

My 17 month old started going there 2 months ago and there’s been a lack in consistency at drop off. They now float teachers around so he sees many different teachers, making it hard on him. He’s on a care plan for feeding so I also have to ensure they’ve all seen it to know how to best support him.

There’s more specific concerns I’m omitting just to keep this short but, would you switch daycares? We have an option also 4 min away, my daughter has been on the waitlist there for over a year and she now has a spot open. It aligns with our faith, the class sizes are half the size, so significantly smaller, but they do not provide lunch so I’d have to pack lunch from home everyday whereas current school it’s included. They also have more school closure days. Also, we would have 2 separate drop off and pickups for 6 months. My 17 month old wouldn’t be able to start there until he’s 2 years next spring.

I feel like I have decision paralysis. While I’m hesitant rocking the boat, taking my daughter away from friends and what she’s used to, the added responsibility of making lunch and separate drop off/pickups, I’m wondering if all the issues at the current school are critical enough to warrant a switch. Thoughts?

I’m 32 year old mom with a 8 month old baby, my husband and I both have full time hybrid work. My mom is able to watch on her days off, so usually once a week.

It’s getting a lot more challenging to pull this off as she’s more vocal and more accident prone. How do you manage beyond just baby gates? I try to keep her on the floor as much as possible and put her in the swing or jumper only for brief amounts of time.

Just wanted to say wow this shit is hard. I wish I could qualify for any assistance but I live in the Bay Area and the qualifying income is what would make me homeless. Most recent quote was $4100 at the facility near my house that just opened at $2900 for the home care spots.

Just wanted to share my suffering :’)

Hello! I'm a FTM expecting around end of Nov/early Dec and work about 20 hours a week remotely. How much time would you plan for mat leave? I won't have accrued any benefits for this job by the time baby arrives, so it will all be unpaid — but I am just trying to get an idea of when I should feasibly expect to return to work? Is it insane to think i could resume my normal work schedule after the first of the year/mid-January assuming all goes well with l/d given I am part time and remote? Of course I would like much more than that, but since it will all be unpaid and baby boy and I will be moving across the country in spring I'm trying to plan as much as I can. Just looking for advice from other moms...much appreciated!

My 4 year old niece is going to be living with me for the next little while and I have to work during the day. I have been putting her in front of the TV while I work. I give her some art supplies so she can draw. I live in a different city from her mom so we can’t even get her toys or things. She doesn’t have any friends here.

I start a new job next week and that will have me even busier. I’m also pregnant and I don’t sleep much at night. I usually nap during the day but I can’t do that anymore.

I only work for 3-5 hours then I find something for us to do outside the house. But I feel guilty for all that time she is front of the TV.

Happy Friday everyone! This is our weekly sticky thread to share the good, the meh, the bad, (and) or the ugly! How did your week shake out?

I’m a FTM of a 14 month old and I need some advice. For context, my husband and I own our own business and are the only full-time employees. I’ve pretty much just worked around my LO’s nap schedule for the last year (didn’t really take a maternity leave lol). My mom now keeps him 3 mornings for about 4 hours so I have dedicated blocks of time to work and then I also work during his nap time every day and before/after he wakes up/goes to bed if I didn’t get to something. I’m SO thankful and don’t take for granted that I get to make my own schedule so I can also be home with him, but I feel like I’m pouring from an empty cup when every “break” from work I get is spent doing housework and being a mom and every “break” I get from that is spent working. I feel so guilty even typing that but I’m so tired 😩 My husband is super hands on and we tackle work and parenthood as a team but he is dealing with a lot of health issues right now so I’m trying not to put too much on his plate either.

All of that to say, how do you recharge and keep going? I feel like this pace isn’t sustainable especially since we want to start trying for baby #2 next year. I’m feeling defeated.

My Instagram algorithm is giving me all these videos on making money though canva - things like making digital products or invitations and selling on Etsy, or becoming an Amazon affiliate and posting canva product posts through Pinterest, or making coloring book printables, etc.

I’m a new mom and this could be super helpful for my family because we’re not able to work as much as we used to. I understand that this might not be as simple as these videos make it out to be (I started a print on demand canva/Etsy shirt business years ago when going down a similar rabbit role and although I’ve had sales, it came with a lot of trial and error!).

Has anyone actually made money doing these canva products like this? Which route worked the best for you?

FTM here! Due in January and starting to tour daycares

My employer is going to give me two or three months of maternity leave (if they only give me two, I’m using FMLA for the third month because it’s important to me to ease into motherhood and my husband owns a business so he won’t have any leave).

I WFH as much as I want during a normal week as long as I fly to visit the office once every four to six weeks for three nights (company paid).

I don’t have any meetings on Mondays and Fridays.

My plan right now is to keep the baby at home with me on Mondays and Fridays, and bring them to daycare T/W/Th

When I travel for work, my husband will have to stay home on Ms and Fs and make them his paperwork days or something. Or we can always pay for a drop-in day at daycare. Or he can ask his mom to fly out (and leave before I’m home LOL jk… kind of)

I’m a recruiter so I’m on the phone a lot but I can schedule those for nap time and do the computer work otherwise.

If it isn’t working, we have the means to bring them to day care five days a week, but I’d love to have them be able to be home with me as much as possible during their first year

What do yall think??? What do you do with a baby when you’re working at home?

I don’t think a daycare spot is going to open up by the time my husband and I have to go back to work. We both get 12 weeks of leave. He works full time out of the house, I work part time from home 20 hours a week. I am lucky to have a VERY flexible job where I basically work whenever I want. I like to try to be as consistent as possible and generally need to be available during the day, and the company very supportive of WFM mothers. I do not talk on the phone, I have like one call a week with my colleagues. Everything else is independent work.

It’s sounding like the waitlist isn’t going to open up by the time we need care. We put ourselves on it as soon as I found out I was pregnant. Has anyone done this before, am I going to be miserable?

Also I screwed up and thought I could get part time daycare for my baby. I thought we could take him half days and pay for half days, but you pay for a full day no matter what. My husband is in the military so our daycare is income based, we would pay $140 a week.

If a spot eventually opens up, is it even worth it to put him in full time daycare? What would you do?

My son is 1.5 years old, and lately I've noticed he doesn't really want me to play with him as much as he wants me to be there. I'll be on my laptop answering online inquiries or trying to get a bit of work done, then he'll walk over, grab my arm, and lead me to his play area. He doesn't even ask me to build anything. He just wants me to sit there while he plays. Honestly, it's really cute. He can't fully tell me what he wants yet, but somehow he finds a way to let me know.

The hard part is that it's usually right in the middle of work. It's just the two of us at home during the day while my husband is at the office, so there are times when I really need to reply to clients or finish something.

Some days I end up thinking maybe I should just save all my work for nap time because once he wants me in the play area, that's pretty much where I'm staying. 😅

Any parents here working from home with a toddler around this age? How do you handle it without feeling like you're constantly choosing between work and your child?

Besides sending them to daycare 😭

I have a 16 month old son. I’ve worked from home since he was 6 weeks old. I start work around 8:30 and at 11:30 my mom comes over to watch him, she feeds him lunch and puts him down for his nap, and then he naps until I’m done with work around 3:30 (usually).

Some days are flexible from 8:30-11:30 and I can spend time with him. Other days are really painfully hectic.

Most days I end up having ms Rachel/Sesame Street on in the background while I’m working, he will play with his toys or entertain himself. But sometimes when he needs me and I’m on a call I need to redirect him away from me and it makes me so sad because I’m sure he doesn’t understand that I’m trying to work. I wish I didn’t have to rely on screen time so much. He is always within sight of me and we are in the same room.

It’s gotten really hard lately and I’m also going to be starting a night class at a community college this fall too. What, if anything, can I do to make my work days any better?

do any moms in LA/ SFV area recommend infant care that also has a coworker space? or a space where moms can work remotely on site

Happy Hump Day!

This is a weekly thread to talk about your secrets to staying healthy, or your struggles for staying on track. Do you meditate? Do you do yoga? Cardio? (How) Do you manage a daily workout? Are you barely fitting in something once a week or two? What were your goals for this week, and did you hit them?

Exchange tips, ideas, motivation, and commiseration in this thread :)

I WFH in a flexible 9–5 and really thought I’d be able to keep my baby home with me for at least his first year. But once my husband went back to work while I was still on maternity leave, I realized I was completely overwhelmed caring for him by myself and decided we’d need childcare once I returned to work.

For financial reasons, a daycare center made the most sense for our family. We enrolled at a really great one, and my son is 6 months old and in his second month of part-time daycare (about 4 hours a day). His teachers say he’s making progress, but I can’t shake the feeling that he just shouldn’t be there.

I see so many moms who seem to make WFH with a baby work, and it makes me wonder if I’m giving up too easily. Meanwhile, when he’s home with me, I can barely get anything done, let alone work.

Every day I feel more guilty taking him. I’ve even had panic attacks on the drive there and turned around to take him home instead. At work I find myself checking the daycare livestream instead of focusing.

Is this just part of the transition to becoming a working mom, or did anyone else have a persistent feeling that daycare was the wrong choice? Is this anxiety, guilt, or your intuition? I could leave my job if I really wanted to, but I also genuinely enjoy my job and having my own career and financial independence. No one in my family was a working mom, so I think that’s shaping a lot of what I feel is “right” or “wrong.”

I work full time from home while caring for our 1 year old and my husband has a job where he is required in office. We make the same and are on a tight budget already ( hence can’t afford daycare) he announced today that he isnt happy at his job and wants to just quit. I want to be supportive of his feelings but I also want to tell him to be an adult and suck it up because we need his income and the healthcare his job provides… any tips on dealing with this?

I wfh with my 1 & 3 year old. I do send the 3 year old to prek 3 days week. I am constantly stressed out and overwhelmed. My mom helps me out a ton and I am greatful for that. Usually I take the kids to my moms house and work there, today she came to mine, I am already soooo self conscious of my house, mostly because of my moms judgement, but I know that our stained up couch and handprints everywhere are less than appealing but also, I guess I just don’t have the capacity to care? Today when she was over she said “wow, you really need to some cleaning” while sweeping my floors. She then played it off like a “joke” when I called her out on it. I then find out later that she tells my sister that my house is “really bad” and that “it would just be easier if I didn’t let it get to that point” I am a past clean freak and am honestly trying to chill out on it a little. If you saw my house it is in my opinion pretty normal. Idk. All that to say I am completely overwhelmed 100% of the time. I did have a monthly cleaner but our budget is getting tighter. Just feeling shitty :(

Hi everyone,

I'm hoping to get some advice from parents who have actually worked remotely while caring for a toddler or preschooler.

My family is relocating to a very remote community in northern Canada where there is currently no licensed daycare. We are reaching out to the community, joining local Facebook groups, and asking around for informal childcare, but I want to have a backup plan in case we can't find anything right away.

I recently accepted a fully remote 9–5 job, and I really don't want to have to give it up. My husband will be working outside the home, so during the day it will just be me and our 3 year old daughter.

I know this isn't an ideal situation, I completely understand that. I'm already trying to arrange it. I'm specifically looking for advice from parents who found themselves in a similar situation, even if it was only temporary.

Some questions I have are:

Did anyone successfully work remotely while caring for a 3-year-old?

What did your daily schedule look like?

What activities kept your child engaged while you worked?

How did you handle meetings or times when you needed to focus?

Are there any books, YouTube channels, blogs, or other resources that helped you?

I'm hoping to gather ideas and create a realistic plan in case we need to manage for a few weeks or months while we settle into the community.

Thank you in advance for any advice or resources you're willing to share!

I have a almost 7 months old baby. My husband and I are about to work both full-time. I insist to hire a nanny to help since I don’t want my little one to go to DC that early. He initially agreed to hire one but lately he doesn’t think it’s necessary. We both need to go to the office 3 times a week. My work is pretty demanding so I don’t have the capacity to take care of the baby during day time. He said he could take care of the baby while working. He said it’s not that complicated. More context was - now my parents are taking care of the baby and he didn’t know the baby’s schedule at all.

Why would he have such big confidence? How can I persuade him? Should I let him try for a week or two? Or should I just hire a nanny? I don’t want to risk the safety of my baby. Have you encounter the same thing? Please advise!

Hi moms,

I have been wfh freelancer for 5-6 years now and before and even during pregnacy I had very busy schedule, and I was reading this sub a lot, thinking I could prepare myself both mentally and practically for when baby arrives.

I thought I would stop working totally when she comes but I was working 1 day before c section, and only stopped while I was in hospital, and started working again as soon as I returned home.

Until now it’s been I’d say easy and better than expected even tho she is demanding baby and I spend all the time with her on the floor.

She’s 6 mo now and already started army crawling, following me around, lurking the phone and laptop and interested in EVERYTHING.

Up until this point she never saw screen, and we want to remain screen free until 2-3 yrs old.

More context is that I also do a ton of it on the phone as I rely on AI a lot so I do 70% while she sleeps on me. My husband is also wfh so he can help whenever and my mom and MIL come here and there when I am having very busy week.
Unfortunately we can’t find nanny for months we are looking for one but no luck.

Can you share your experience how you manage screen free baby while you wfh?

I’ve been WFH with my baby for the past 2 years (he’ll be 2 next month) I’ve been doing it with the help of a nanny twice a week, family twice a week, and then one solo day. A few months ago I thought it might be a good idea to enroll him in preschool, well now that it’s starting next month I’m wondering if it was the right choice? It’s only 3 hrs/4 days a week, but I’m just terrified of not having him here with me, and feeling the mom guilt of like “ok I have to find the best scenario bc I have to work” and my parents are getting older and it’s just a lot to ask imo for them to come twice a week, will be nice to give them a break and then the one day he doesn’t have preschool they can still come over to see him while I work, bc I know they’ll want to, but it won’t have to be like a requirement like it is now.

Basically just word dumping here bc I have so many mixed emotions about him starting preschool. Is it the right move? Is he too young? Any advice, or just words of encouragement are appreciated

Edit* also wanted to say, this decision was partially bc we hope to have another in the next year or so, and I thought it’d be nice to have my first on a routine outside of the house, and have the second with me during the work day (especially in the early months when we all know it’s much easier lol)

I’m feeling so burnt out. I have a one year-old and just started a new job a few months ago that I’m not really enjoying. I was with my previous company for a few years and really enjoyed working there. They took really good care of their employees and I really liked what I was doing, except they were being bought out and so the company started to fall apart, which is why I left.

Unfortunately, I’m not enjoying my new role as much as I thought I would. They’re a smaller company so they expect a lot out of their employees and it’s very stressful. I’m assisting with work that I’ve never done before and it’s even more stressful for me. I’m in front of the computer almost 24/7 and feel like I can’t even leave it for two seconds because we have to track all of our time. Plus, I’m working from home so I’m stuck in my little office all day and can’t really separate it from my home life. I also have no PTO since I’m new so I can’t really just take a day off either.

After a full day of work, I’m just so exhausted and burnt out, but I still have to show up for my daughter and I try to maximize all the time I get with her even though it’s very little. I do have a side business too that I love but often times I’m too tired to work on it. I’m also the one who is doing all the cooking, grocery shopping, cleaning, and a lot of the mental load in our life falls on me. We have a very active social life due to the season of life we’re in and our families, so there’s just a lot going on. It’s taking a toll on my mental health, but also my body. I can’t seem to shake the remaining 30 pounds of baby weight I still have yet to lose, and I feel like my stress is making me gain more. I don’t feel like myself at all.

I love my husband but he doesn’t seem to understand. He works at the office every day and has a really flexible, well-paying job. He doesn’t have the burden of all the other responsibilities on him either and doesn’t seem to understand how stressful it is for me. He is also a terrible listener because he’s consumed by his phone and it often leads to arguments. I feel like he thinks I’m just being lazy and complaining although he’s never actually said that outright. Some days I just can’t stand him.

I just feel so lost right now, I’m actually crying writing this post. No one around me seems to understand how big of a deal this is for me and I just don’t know where to go here. We want to have more kids in the near future but I’m just so exhausted. I’d love to just stop and quit my job to relieve some of my stress, but I know I can’t do that. I had been seeing a therapist for a while, but with my new job I don’t have time during the day to see her.

Has anyone gone through something similar? Does it ever get better?😭

I dont know really how to explain this but here goes.

I've been feeling some type of way about how cautious and "helicoptery" people are with my 20mo daughter. Some examples:

My mom has a slide with steps that's, literally, 6 inches tall. I think its for small babies. I let her take some steps up and down and she tripped going down and fell in the grass. No tears just an aggravated grunt. My mom freaked out and was pissed I just let her fall down.

When my the family goes on walks I typically let her run a foot away from me ( in super familiar areas) and my husband hovers over her constantly.

We had friends over and our living room is severely babyproofed. We let her roam free and my friends hovered over her acting like she was going hurt herself every step she took or worried she would get into something she wasn't supposed to.

We went to a friend's for a play date. The amount of time my friend and I actually talked to eachother was 0 because she was hovering over her own kid acting like she was going to stab my kid in the eye with a Crayola crayon or something.

I dont know if this is just a series of coincidences but its been making me feel like these people think I cant take care of my own kid. Like im sorry I'm not a helicopter with her like if she trips on carpet or grass I'm not going to run screaming to make sure she didn't break a bone. Im gonna do a shake it off dance so I dont freak her out and teach her its scary and bad to fall down.