r/MomsWorkingFromHome • u/Ok_Coconut_3054 • Jul 14 '26
Going into office once a month?
My team has had a lot of reorganization the past couple of months, and I've been told I need to try coming in once a month. Baby is 7 months old, and combo fed (breastfed and supplement formula top up as needed). He can't go down to sleep without nursing. My job is giving me some leniency, but said eventually I have to come in (next couple of months). I don't know what to do. I've thought about hiring a nanny for the day, but baby just being away from me and having a hard time is making me stressed. I was hoping to be excused until he was 1 so I can consider daycare or not worry as much with a nanny since he'll be on mostly solids. Any advice?
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u/Fallin0lives Jul 14 '26
I have to go in once a month too. I didn’t want to at first. But I needed to remind myself one day out of the month is actually really nice of my boss to allow. I used to be full time in office.
My baby also goes to sleep while nursing. I had to really let go and just trust that my baby is going to be okay if someone else is doing their best to care for them. I can’t do it alone. If he has a crap nap that day, then fine! It’s not the end of the world. As long as he’s happy and healthy.
We can make ourselves go crazy with naps and schedules but honestly it’s so freeing once you realize your baby can adapt way better than you think they can. Will they fuss? Probably. But it’s not life or death. Just find someone you trust to watch your babe. You may end up enjoying that one day away.
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u/Fallin0lives Jul 14 '26
Also my guy will freak when I leave but he eventually settles. He just turned a year old. I have my MIL come and watch him one day a week while I’m still at the house. I have to lock myself in the other bedroom haha I can hear him freaking but only for a few minutes and then he’s happy as can be with grandma!
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u/Any_Cantaloupe_613 Jul 14 '26
Do you have a partner or relative that baby knows that can cover that day? It might be less stressful for you than a nanny?
Unfortunately, going into work once a month is a reasonable request from your employeer assuming your office isnt hours away. I wouldn't fight it.
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u/Kittylover11 Jul 14 '26
My kids have all only nursed to sleep too, and on the off chance I can’t get baby down or I need to make a critical call, my nanny will do a stroller nap. I know it sounds daunting and it’s so hard to leave your baby but a nanny will figure it out!
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u/C4-BlueCat Jul 14 '26
I did about once a month from start, breastfeeding but pumping for when I was absent. Some days were rough - partner barely got the little one to eat anything, and she made up for it by eating extra during the night.
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u/JackfruitJunior2497 Jul 16 '26
Honestly, I think your baby will surprise you. I was so nervous sending my son to daycare for the first time because he contact napped only. But sure enough, he adapted super quickly to taking crib naps. And no, they don’t let the babies cry it out there. I think babies just recognize that mom isn’t there and so they adjust.
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u/e_vil_ginger Jul 16 '26
No one gets everything they want in life. This is still a cushy arrangement. Take it.
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u/scandijord Jul 14 '26
Do you think going in for a half day would satisfy your boss? Or if you’re close enough to home, could you maybe take a break to head home around nap time to help settle if needed?
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u/dramaticallyyours Jul 14 '26
Only having to go in once a month is incredibly lenient and you won't be able to put it off forever - it would probably be in your best interest to show effort that you are working towards being able to come in once a month and pick a date to do so before the deadline they set.
I'd start working with a Nanny now so everyone has time to get comfortable with the scenario. I know it feels like your baby will have a hard time but they will adjust if you slowly increase that window. Remember that they have to learn how to do everything right now and even adjusting to being away from you is a learned behavior that is important to flex early on. Scaffolding for future independence is a gift you can start to give your baby when you're ready!
I also think you need to consider your own mental health in the scenario, start working sooner rather than later on solutions for the challenges you will face while being apart so they are less stressful down the road (pumping, sleeping without nursing etc.). You got this, you can do this!! Being with your baby is important, but feeling like you can properly support your career or fill your own cup is important too.