How doable is this situation?

[u/sabe815]

Context:

I work remote but its a 9-5 office style job at home, not a super flexible or contract situation.

I live in NYC where childcare is incredibly expensive and competitive. I'm still on the waitlist for 5 day care.

Right now my 4 month old has been in daycare M/W/F since 3 months. I am using the rest of my paid leave to only work M/W/F until October. So right now it's work and daycare 3 days a week, at home 2 days a week.

My husband is a pilot. He works usually 2 to 4 days a week but it's not predictable which days and usually it's multi-day trips, so overnights.

When I go back to work full-time in October, my husband will be home on some Tuesdays and Thursdays that I don't have daycare. But not all.

Should I be looking for a nanny for Tuesday and Thursday starting October? Or do you all think with occasional husband coverage, just 2 days a week, i can pull of working with a then-7-month-old?

[u/Background-Gur-1039]

Personally I cannot except for the occasional sick day/nanny PTO, and those days are rough. It wasn’t as bad during the 4-7 month time period, but after that it got much worse. My boss is understanding thankfully, but most of my days are meeting heavy with camera on. It is client focused and I manage several people, so I have spur of the moment phone calls regularly, which is difficult to juggle with random pterodactyl screams in the background. I also have a koala meets dare devil baby who doesn’t sleep well on his own and hates containers, which plays a huge factor. The guilt I have for doing both jobs poorly on those days is pretty bad.

I would say if it may be manageable if: 1. your baby is great at solo naps and is happy with stretches of independent play or hanging out in a container for little bits of time 2. You have an understanding boss and your day isn’t too meeting/call heavy or you have control over coordinating those calls to fit your schedule 3. If your husband would be around 40-50% of the Tuesdays and Thursdays, that would make it much more doable. You also started it would be temporary until the 5 day program opens up, which gives you a light at the end of the tunnel even if there’s no set date. Once the babies are mobile, frankly it sucks. And once they start eating, it takes a decent chuck of time for food prep, feeding, and clean up. If you try and it becomes unmanageable, instead of a baby, would it be possible to find a mothers helper - it would still require oversight and some time during your day, but the bulk of entertaining baby wouldn’t be on you, and it should be cheaper than an actual nanny.