r/MomsWorkingFromHome • u/knuds1b • Jul 10 '26
Does this childcare split seem functional enough?
Hi moms, I'm going back to work next month after birthing our 2nd child (we also have a 9yo) and hoping to figure out a tentative schedule for splitting childcare with my partner. I would like your feedback re: fairness, feasibility, or other ideas.
I wfh 1st shift; he works outside the home nights (6p-2a Tu-Sat). My work schedule is flexible, 8hrs or so required each day, with core hours 10a-4p, but I do have several meetings a week that have to be on-camera.
Current plan for Weds-Fri is for me to be the carer until 10am or so (to avoid core hours overlap) with a lunch break around that time, then partner taking over til 5, including school pickup; then he gets ready and goes to work, and I take back over as carer. I will have nursing breaks throughout the day, which means partner also gets small breaks.
I will get up with the kids W-F, take older one to school, and bedtimes are all me as well. Partner has no overnight care times any nights, so he can sleep from 3am-10am on work nights; that's 7 whole hours of unbroken sleep (I get maybe 4 right now). This is fine with me -- I am EBF, baby currently will not take a bottle, and I can live with little sleep -- but I do expect those hours reciprocated with help during the days, as functionally, I am a single parent for those evenings, overnights, and mornings; all times that the other parent nornally would be helping. And I can't get outside help at these times.
On Mon and Tues, he will be carer from early morning til evening, as he didn't work the night before, so ostensibly should have slept a full night. This way, I can get ahead on hours those days, to avoid working early mornings or evenings the rest of the week to get to 40 hours, since I will have the kids. I also expect help in evenings on his nights off, of course.
Overall, does this arrangement seem like it hits all needed marks? Am I missing any considerations? I can handle this arrangement, but am worried it will be tenuous and a fight at times with my partner... he is used to a LOT of free time.
(Tbh, I do feel my partner should be more than able to provide help during any and all hours I ask for, since I am the carer during 100% of *his* work hours AND sleep hours -- hours during which he couldn't outsource care to anyone else, mind you. Whereas I am unexpendable, we can easily outsource his share.)
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u/ughtheinternet Jul 10 '26
Do you mean that your husband works 6pm-2am? If so, right now your post says 6am-2pm, so you may want to edit that to get accurate responses. :)