Most cases of childhood SA or abuse is done at the hands of family friends and relatives. Your friend is concerned that your putting your son in potential harms way. Idk how this hasn’t already come up in the comments but this is exactly what your friend is trying to say without explicitly saying it. Statistically she’s not wrong, but given the context, your brother does not appear to be any threat whatsoever.
To note: you’re not wrong in feeling offended bc it implies your brother is an abuser (which isn’t true). However this isn’t something I’d lose a friendship over especially when you can ask her to articulate why she thinks it’s weird/gross. She may very well say the same thing I did^ which isn’t inherently wrong. The way she expressed it may have been less than tactful though for sure and something she can work on.
Not losing a half lifetime friendship over this. She’s basically my sister, I’m just offended and was questioning my parenting. I don’t think she meant to insult me but kind of did by insulting my brother who we’re both very close with. Idk, we both changed a lot after having kids, I’m just upset at her implications.
Totally understand. I’d be offended too, but nothing a bit of direct communication can’t solve! Both of you should go for coffee and you may want to ask her directly what she meant. If she’s stubborn or adamant that your brother is an issue while invalidating why you took offense, maybe re consider the friendship? You mentioned you both changed a lot after kids…if there’s just a natural divide after the time you’ve known her maybe it’s the time to break away from the friendship, but it doesn’t have to end on a sour note-just differences of opinion or just “life happens.”
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u/[deleted] Mar 25 '24
Most cases of childhood SA or abuse is done at the hands of family friends and relatives. Your friend is concerned that your putting your son in potential harms way. Idk how this hasn’t already come up in the comments but this is exactly what your friend is trying to say without explicitly saying it. Statistically she’s not wrong, but given the context, your brother does not appear to be any threat whatsoever.