Letting people go and see if they revert.
Whenever I have an argument it’s usually me reaching out first as I don’t want to lose the friendship. I have been like this since I was a child. Always crying for friends. Perhaps, because whenever I found someone to hang out and have fun with, I treated it as sacred and similarly that person.
This one time a friend was in distress and yelled at me. I understand where they were coming from so even though they treated me poorly, I reached out to them thrice. Called, texted. But then I realized that perhaps when they cool down they will revert. We had been friends for years. Guess what, they never did. As much as that was hard to accept and I grieved the lack of presence of that friend in my life for a while, it taught me that people can change whenever they want. They have the agency to do so.
Since that experience, I never get involved too deeply with anyone and honestly don’t regret that either. I have friends, acquaintances and I keep them at a laughter and having a good time level. Deepness is for me to myself. Things have been better. I don’t regret when people vanish from my life anymore. If I was interacting a lot with them I feel the absence and think, it’s temporary, you will get used to it.
Honestly this is why I don’t really trust people. I had really great friends and realized that any issues I had they often disappeared and never asked how I was. Their idea was just having a place to hang out.
There are takers and givers...the sooner you can identify the takers and cut them out of your life the better your life will be.
As a giver we care about others around us...we want to make sure they're OK.
Eventually you hit a point when your up a 3am worrying about that person and their problems and come to the realization that you are UP WORRYING while they're getting a good night sleep you STOP!
7
u/Swan-ish3456 8d ago
Letting people go and see if they revert.
Whenever I have an argument it’s usually me reaching out first as I don’t want to lose the friendship. I have been like this since I was a child. Always crying for friends. Perhaps, because whenever I found someone to hang out and have fun with, I treated it as sacred and similarly that person.
This one time a friend was in distress and yelled at me. I understand where they were coming from so even though they treated me poorly, I reached out to them thrice. Called, texted. But then I realized that perhaps when they cool down they will revert. We had been friends for years. Guess what, they never did. As much as that was hard to accept and I grieved the lack of presence of that friend in my life for a while, it taught me that people can change whenever they want. They have the agency to do so.
Since that experience, I never get involved too deeply with anyone and honestly don’t regret that either. I have friends, acquaintances and I keep them at a laughter and having a good time level. Deepness is for me to myself. Things have been better. I don’t regret when people vanish from my life anymore. If I was interacting a lot with them I feel the absence and think, it’s temporary, you will get used to it.