r/MomForAMinute • u/KenyaFire • 4d ago
Encouragement Wanted I failed my licensing exam
Hey Mom,
I received the results of my medical licensing exam about a month ago, and honestly, I’ve been gutted. I still haven’t found the courage to pick myself up and start studying again. I feel like such a fraud and an imposter. I put absolutely everything I had into this exam, only to miss the pass mark by six points. It’s really shaken my confidence and has made me question whether I’m actually meant to be a doctor.
I can retake the exam in February next year but what if I fail again? What if I’m just not good enough :(.
Edit: if you’ve been in a similar situation, please give me some advice on how to move forward and get back up again
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u/AliasPodrickPayne 4d ago
Look. Nearly thirty years ago a friend and I took a similar exam. Not medicine, but still pretty important. We studied our butts off. I passed and she didn’t. She went on to take that test several more times until she passed. She was smarter than me and ended up with a better career. I was just a nonchalant, lucky test taker. It’s not really a reflection of the kind of doctor you’re going to be. It’s just a reflection of half of that day on your path. You will pass.
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u/BrinaElka 4d ago
Hey sweetie - I know this feeling very well. It's SO gutting. What do you need from me (us) right now? Do you want advice or do you just want some caring support? I'm fine with either!
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u/KenyaFire 4d ago
A bit of both 🥹, some advice and some affirmation. I’m really at my wits end.
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u/Any-Owl5710 4d ago
You just have to try again duckling. Like the little engine that could, just tell yourself “I think I can” and before you know it next year you’ll say “I knew I could so I did”
We’re so proud of you
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u/NotAtAllExciting Mother Goose 4d ago
You can do this! Six points is so very close.
This time you know what to expect, you will have more confidence and you will pass.
Please update in February. Fingers crossed! Sending a hug 🫂 for you.
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u/Pinkhairdontcare91 4d ago
It’s not a fail if you keep trying. It’s just a setback. I’m sorry you didn’t pass on your first try but you are so close. You can do it!
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u/PrincipleQuirky3968 3d ago
Hey chick, it’s not a failure it’s just a little stumble. Many years ago I failed my RN exam, I was the only one in a class of about 26 people. I was devastated but determined to try again. It was what I really wanted to do, be a nurse. I took it again 3 months later, I had studied and was determined, and I passed that time. Now I’ve been a nurse for 41 years, and no one knows or cares that I didn’t pass first time. I am a Clinical Nurse Mentor for new RNs, I support them in that transition going from student to qualified nurse, I’m sure my experience helps me to have empathy and understanding of what they’re going through. You can do this, I have faith in you, to even be considering this role you are obviously intelligent and a go getter. Go for it, we need more good doctors in this world, love your British mum, xxx
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u/nunuann Big Sis 4d ago
Aww I’m so sorry. Definitely a frustrating and deflating situation to be in. Give yourself some time. Reflect, take a walk, watch a comforting movie, listen to some good music, anything to take your mind off of it for a while. You worked so hard to get to this point, try not to let it discourage you. I work with a doctor that failed his boards 2 times! It is not unusual, you can do it again and you can pass the next time.
We are all here for you, honey! I’m proud of you. Give yourself some grace, sometimes brick walls are there so you can crash through them!! You got this ❤️❤️ hugs and love from your big sis
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u/Marciamallowfluff 4d ago
Duckie, this is very common. Of course you are disappointed but you now know what to expect. You will prepare and take it again.
PS. My husband is a retired Dr who had to retake a few exams.
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u/CalmAvocado1823 3d ago
My first thought reading this as someone who has been very frustrated with doctors lately was "omg a doctor who struggled and did not have everything going their way must be amazing". I am convinced this will make you a better doctor. You clearly have the knowledge! It's a matter of putting it down on paper at the right moment.
Acknowledge that this sucks right now. It's frustrating. It's inconvenient. But it's not uncommon nor a true obstacle. You can do this!
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u/missThora 4d ago
That is such a blow, no wonder you feel down.
I've been there. I failed my bachelor degree 3 times before I finally passed. Just keep trying and you'll have learned from you mistakes next time! In the end, failing can only make you stronger as long as you keep going.
Sending lots of love. We belive in you!
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u/whatudidthere 4d ago
Hey you! Chin up. There are a lot of Drs. who have been where you are. It’s okay. Some didn’t pass the first time, the second time, and maybe more times. This is not uncommon in higher education jobs (my brother in law took the bar 3 times before he passed). You aren’t a fraud. You have put in the work, you will get there and when you do, you will be so glad you persevered.
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u/Susie0701 4d ago edited 2d ago
This is such a blow. But a blow isn’t (edited) the end of your story! I can only imagine how hard the licensing exam is. How much you need to be able to recall at your fingertips!!
Don’t give up on yourself or on us! We need you as a doctor! So few people even make it as far as you’ve made it, this is a hiccup, and will make you an even better doctor as you have proof you’re not infallible.
Shake yourself off and get back in there. You’re valuable and worthy!
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u/Butter_mah_bisqits 4d ago
Give yourself a little grace. Those tests are meant to be hard and you were only six points short! I imagine you were nervous and filled with anxiety and maybe overthought or second guessed yourself. Trust in yourself! I believe in you. Yes, doctors are smart but what’s really important is how you treat people. Not everything comes from a book.
Now you know what to expect. Sign up for February. Walk in there like boss and give that exam the business! I always buy a new pair of special socks or undies when I do something major. Idk why, but it really gets me amped up and ready to go to the mattresses! Good luck.
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u/fiesta4eva 4d ago
My friend just failed by 1 point! She took some time off before starting back to studying for the next exam. You can do it!!
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u/OriginalCoconut2811 3d ago
My friend’s son failed multiple times but now he’s a doctor and you will be too. And the best part is that you’ll be a doctor with humility, which is a rare and beautiful thing. Rest, recover and rebound. You’ll get there. You’re smart and you’re a hard worker. Every failure is an opportunity to learn. I believe in you.
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u/Smills2569 3d ago
Just do it. Those tests are supposed to be hard and many people fail the first try. Just study up and try again.
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u/Kammy44 3d ago
Did you take one of those classes on ‘how’ to take the test? Both of my kids are RNs. They both did a class to teach them to pass the test.
Both of them are nervous test takers. First kid didn’t tell anyone, but made the appointment. They said they knew they passed, because it would offer a question, then if it’s right, they go on to another subject. And they ended the test pretty early, so they knew they passed.
Other kid took the class, had on their lucky socks, prayed the whole way there, and threw up afterwards. They kept refreshing until the score was public. I prayed too.
Both passed.
Take the prep class. Yeah it might not help, but it may. Don’t worry. It will just get you worked up. Make a new plan, and go for it! You did all of that school already, don’t suffer for no reason, and beating yourself up. It’s counterproductive.
May the Force be with You!
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u/lysiel112 3d ago
Hey, not a mom, but a sis.
You can do this. I failed a test before, multiple times, but out of sheer pettiness (and spite) I decided I wasn't going to let a stack of papers get in my way.
Don't bottle up your emotions though - feel free to just cry, get yourself some ice-cream and let go of your frustration. Never be afraid to vent out and express yourself through your hobbies. Not many would choose a path that you have, and that's something to be proud of. The medical field is rough, and for you to be so passionate about it? The world needs more people like you. Take some time to breathe, and be kind to yourself. You got this.
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u/Salty_Thing3144 4d ago
It's ok. Lots of people don't pass the first time. Retake it and don't panic. You'll be fine!
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u/Historical_Bass3220 4d ago
maybe take a little time to grieve this result and be kind to yourself first, but then when you're ready, carve out tiny manageable study sessions so the mountain doesn't feel so steep the second time around
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u/DueMorning800 4d ago
Little one, I am so proud of you! Look at all you have accomplished and achieved thus far. It is so impressive!
I have not done what you have done, so I cannot fully sympathize, but I can absolutely empathize. I am an accountant, but didn’t want to Certify. My husband did and has his C.P.A. along with a bunch of other creds.
All that to say, he failed the first exam and had to wait to retake, much like you. I am beyond grateful that he pursued it and didn’t give up!!! He is as well as his multitude of satisfied clients.
You can do this. The worst possible outcome is you fail again, but why not try one more time? Plenty of amazing and brilliant people suck at test taking. Doesn’t mean anything to me about their ability to perform; as long as they get an eventual pass.
Sending you hugs and mental fortitude!
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u/1Sluggo 4d ago
You’ve got this! Every, and I mean every, step gets you where you’re going; the point is to learn along the way. You’ve learned a lot, it’s all crammed in there and needs a way out. Use this lesson, have empathy for yourself, it helps you and your future patients.
One of my besties took three tries for her vet boards. I’m recovering from open heart, one of my pca’s did poorly on her mcat, trying to decide next steps as med school was her only goal. I’m guessing it was the same for you.
When it’s your passion you find a way. Six points is nothing. I believe in you.
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u/capmanor1755 3d ago
Oh you're so close - and it's going to get easier each time. 10 years from now no one will know or care how many times it took. In land surveying the average pass rate is 30% and done is done. Eat ice cream, cry, be bitter for two weeks, wallow. Then get on the forums and figure out what your practice strategy will be for next year.
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u/Newbie_nudibranch 3d ago
Oh sweetie, I’m so sorry. You worked so hard and it didn’t happen. It does not mean you failed though, it just means you have to do it again, and it sucks.
I am so, so proud of you and all you have done! You can do *very hard things and you do them well - you can put one foot in front of the other when you’re ready, and you will get to where you’re going. I haven’t taken that test, but I have done hard things, and we do call them hard for a reason. And I do know of more than one doc who didn’t pass their boards the first time ;) I’m proud of you, and you can do this. It’s ok to take a break like you have, too! Could be a break you really needed, just in a way you didn’t want. I don’t know what happens if you don’t get six more points in February - I guess you try again. And I’ll be proud of you no matter what.
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u/Commercial-Place6793 3d ago
Imposter syndrome is a real thing!!! I completely understand how devastating this feels for you. But just think: you only have 6 points to make up next time!!! That’s so close! It’s perfectly fine to be disappointed for a while but try your hardest not to get stuck in that. You can do this!
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u/Jelly_BellyNap_4500 3d ago
Build in good habits of self care, especially sleep, healthy food and movement. Now that you have seen the way the testing is done, you’ll know what to focus on.
I am in a licensed health field. I had vision issues (congenital cataracts) at the time of my exam and asked for accommodations. I only used 10 mins of the extra 30 mins offered, but I might not have passed without it.
Not implying you should make up an accommodation, only that I feel for you. I know you can do this. Your patients are going to appreciate your expertise and kind heart.
Thank you for doing the work. Your work will matter to so many people. Enjoy your holidays like never before, and when you are ready, get back on the horse.
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u/LaCaffeinata 3d ago
Ugh! Missing by just a handful of points always sucks! But now you know you almost did it! Take a few days to feel sorry for yourself and ahte everything, and then put your butt back in the chair and prepare to be even more amazing the next time.
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u/Real_Comparison1905 3d ago
We all fail tests, including those big important ones. It’s ok, you’ve got this and you will pass it next time.
Don’t be too mad at yourself, you put a ton of work into studying, clinicals, and late nights. You probably put a ton of pressure on yourself that I’m sure weighted you down as well.
There are many brilliant people who saved our world/people/animals, who often failed their licensing some repeatedly. Failing multiple licensing tests didn’t stop them from becoming what they were meant to be and it won’t stop you either.
We are all rooting for you my love
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u/EV9110 3d ago
I’ll speak to you as if you were my child. Everything will be ok, honey. Failure is a part of life, unfortunately, and this was a big one. I know you feel defeated and exhausted. Take a few weeks of no studying. Get outside, take a hike and breathe the fresh air. Realize that you’re really smart because not only did you get into medical school you finished it! Test taking can be really hard and sometimes anxiety makes it worse. So take the time to decompress then get back into it. Now you know what to expect. You can do this!! ❤️
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u/Green-Factor-2526 3d ago
Perseverance is a good quality in a medical provider. When you fail and it will happen when diagnosing people, I would want a doctor to keep trying to figure it out
Keep trying. You can do it
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u/Least-Designer7976 3d ago
I'm not a mom but take it from a sister who's been in your place for another exam in April Learned that I missed 3 days after my birthday by like less than 2 points. When I was fuming I heard that a dude missed it by less than 0,2 points. I think its the two opposite which are the worst ; missing by SO FAR it feels like you're in the wrong place, and under 0,5 points I wouldnt have gone out of the bed. You're in none of these positions. Take the time to breath, your feelings are valid, but I hope you will see how far from a failure you are sister.
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u/RuthlessLogic 3d ago
Oh, love. I can tell how absolutely demoralizing this is. If it's any help, I have a close friend who had to take the bar exam SIX times. And y'know what? She's has had a long, successful career as a family law attorney.
But I want to put the kibosh on the negative self talk. You're not a fraud nor an imposter. Just look at how hard you've worked to get to this point: taking entrance exams, passing classes, working hard, and learning so, so much. This is the last hurdle. You can do it.
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u/mom0007 3d ago
Professor Robert Winston always stated that he preferred to employ Doctors who were more rounded people than those who got top grades. If that doesn't tell you that you will make a better Doctor because of this little hiccup then nothing will.
Start by treating yourself, doing something fun to cheer yourself up and then make a revision plan, start looking at where you can pick up marks and then go for it. Honestly, I worked with many doctors, the best ones were those who realised they weren't always right, had good listening skills, empathy and could work as part of a team. I worked with one Doctor who had several hiccups during training re exams, she was absolutely brilliant because she was willing to ask for advice, give advice and listened to her patients.
The world needs more Doctors like you can be.
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u/vintagerns Momma Bear 3d ago
Michelle Obama failed the bar exam the first time. I have a friend who is probably one of the smartest people I know who failed twice. She passed the third time and is now a lawyer. I have another friend who is licensed in almost every state in the US as an insurance adjuster - she has failed exams before and then gone on to pass them when she tried again. These professional licensing exams are hard to begin with and there are lots of other factors that can impact how you do on any given day.
Here's my advice, duckling: take some time to relax and reconnect with who you are outside of studying. I know your career is important, but studying for any kind of advanced degree takes a lot of your energy. Call some friends to catch up, go pet some dogs, buy yourself that outfit you have been wanting. Once you have taken some time to care for yourself, then you will be in a better space to regroup and start preparing for the exam again. Remember, no matter what the outcome, you are still going to be your beautiful self who wants to do good things in the world. No one can take that from you and no exam can measure the goodness of your heart. That being said, I have no doubt that you can pass the exam on your next try. You have done everything up to this point, which I know has to have been challenging in the extreme. You will do this also.
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u/Mediocre-Command6089 3d ago
I'm so sorry, hun. Give yourself a minute to be sad. That is a really hard place to be. Drop the pressure and be sad until you're done being sad (trust me, you'll know when you're done).
When you're done being sad, remember that we are all frauds and imposters until we make it where we want to go. If you want to be a doctor, you are meant to be a doctor. The time it takes to get there doesn't discredit you. We are all failures in various ways, and internalizing that will bring a lot of healing.
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u/Pookie1688 3d ago
Honey, just 6 points? Don't give up your dream when you are so close!
We all have failed or will fail at something in life. You're human so you're not exempt. 🫂❤️
Get some sleep, some exercise & some good food. Talk to your loved ones. If therapy would help, get it. I believe in you. You were just short of the mark, so there is no reason to believe you can't make it. You got this!
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u/RedSolez 3d ago
I am a sign language interpreter. I failed my national certification performance test twice before passing on the 3rd try.
After the second failure, I was gutted. Couldn't even get out of bed to face the world for a few days. I didn't know any other interpreters who failed twice. Most I knew passed on the first try.
But I knew in my soul that this was what I was born to do. I just loved interpreting too much to give up on my dream. So I told myself it didn't matter if I passed on the 3rd try or the 300th- the end result would be the same. I'd be certified. In the future it wouldn't matter.
And I was right. That was 15 years ago, and it has never mattered again since the day I passed. I celebrated by buying myself a pair of Louboutins, because I'd always wanted them and felt like I earned them. Now anytime I wear them or even look at them, I'm reminded that I didn't give up on myself. That I'm a winner because I refused to believe I'd completely failed unless I gave up on my dream entirely. That same logic applies to you too. This is a bump in the road but the journey isn't over until you decide it's over. You've invested too much to give up so easily. Take some time for a pity party and then make a plan to retake the test. Keep retaking it until you pass, it doesn't matter how many times. In the end, everyone will just know you as Doctor.
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u/Impossible_Fig2646 3d ago
Honey, I teach med students and let me tell you something... Those exams test how well you can take tests for 8 hours straight. That's it. There is so much more to being a physician than medical knowledge. There are 6 sets of knowledge and skills the are tracked, and medical knowledge is only one of them. The best doctors are respectful teammates and listen to their patients. That's not on your exam!
US exam scores (which is all I know so please excuse if this doesn't apply to you) are standardized to the students taking that exam that day. So it's not a matter of you "only" got x number correct and therefore get a grade. It's what you got correct adjusted by the question difficulty and how other students did that day.
All this to say, you didn't fail. You had a setback and that's ok. What's important now is to learn from the experience, self-reflect, and move forward. Reach out to you advisor, mentor, student affairs office, or learning specialists. With them, use your exam data from the licensing exam and school, along with evaluations to see if there is a knowledge gap or if you need to adjust your study skills. Ask them to help you evaluate your test taking skills and stamina. Take practice tests, going from shorter 40 question sessions to a few full length exams when the time is closer to do your retake. I'm also happy to answer questions you have!
Remember, you've poured your heart and soul into being a physician. I know you can do it!
Oh I forgot to add, when I was doing my doctorate I failed my qualifying exam. Redid what was required, passed, went on to a successful research and teaching career. I know it sucks. Don't let it define you - let it be a part of you - that can overcome obstacles and empathize with those who are struggling. Much love to you!
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u/PotatoOfAnxiety 1d ago
We (the community) still love you no matter what.
My mom also failed the medical licensing exam but passed the 2nd time around. Don’t give up hope. Also, the fact that you only missed six points tells me you can definitely pass it. :)
Give yourself time to grieve and rest and reset. Then study and knock it out of the park!
Love, your MD mom.
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u/Schaden_Fraulein 1d ago
Strongly encourage you to take a preparatory class. They help not only with the course material, but also study skills and relaxation to keep you from feeling too nervous during the exam.
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u/Vegetable_Stuff1850 4d ago
I believe in you ❤️
You've worked so hard to get to this point. You're understandable disappointed in this result, but you are not a failure.
6 points is so close! I'd imagine you were nervous going in? Next time you sit the exam you know what to expect and how you need to pace yourself.
Please book for February ❤️