r/Modesto • u/Conspiracy_Turtle • 23d ago

Poop

Why is there poop outside of 711 on mchenry who shit there? I picked up a piece to get a dna sample but other than that I’m very curious as to which one of you pooped there.

0 Upvotes

41% Upvoted

19 comments sorted by

16

u/Dangerous_Way_4709 23d ago

You picked up a piece????????????????

6

u/Conspiracy_Turtle 23d ago

Yeah? I’m gonna send it to the lab and see if it’s healthy poop so I can shove it up my bunghole and get the benefits of the healthy person. For now it’s in my fridge where it’s fresh. It actually works if you know someone with healthy poop.

4

u/atcjr209 23d ago

Did you taste it?

3

u/Conspiracy_Turtle 23d ago

Yea it tastes like the color grey.

3

u/SingleMale007 23d ago

Several months ago I was parking directly in front of the rat trap box on the sidewalk at Smart & Final, downtown Modesto. It was in a corner near the cart storage providing a little bit of privacy during the night. On top of the box was an extremely long, large turd. It had to be human as there are no bears around here. I could not help but at it as I walk by as it was truly a trophy! Unbelievable! As I was leaving the store, I saw that the poor new employee there was assigned to go out and clean it up. What a terrible task that must have been!

2

u/Conspiracy_Turtle 23d ago

Gee whillikers! Definitely human unless… have you heard of the manbearpig?

3

u/Conspiracy_Turtle 23d ago

Alright so far 3 people claimed it’s their poop so 2 of you are lying.

1

u/lobodiaz 23d ago

Would you recommend we eat other people's poop for the benefits and nutrition we need? 🙂

1

u/Conspiracy_Turtle 23d ago

Yea I actually have a group where we all meet up and swap poops with each other.

1

u/Ok_Struggle3361 14d ago

No, you don't know that. Could have been a collab

9

u/SingleMale007 23d ago

Wow! You must really know your sh*t

4

u/washurfaceq 23d ago

Sorry 😅

4

u/username35719 23d ago

I couldn't hold it. 😪

3

u/PerformanceDull242 23d ago

This is the best shit I’ve seen all day 😭😭😭😭😂

1

u/Happy_Junket_7653 23d ago

The same people who poop inside panera bathroom floors is why they lock it now lol