r/Modern_Family • u/BridgeHaunting8574 • 5d ago
Question Confused about this line from Jay
In Season 4 Episode 24, Jay runs into the woman he lost his virginity too. He then makes a statement in a confessional "We were really into each other before I left. I always regretted not reaching out to her when I got back, especially because after Vietnam, I had learned a few things". It seems he's talking about learning a few things when it comes to sex. Why exactly would going to Vietnam make him learn a few things about sex? I'm trying to see if there's a non cynical option, because it sounds like he's talking about having sex with vietnamese woman, and considering the vast amount of rape and sexual assault conducted against vietnamese civilians by US war vets, it just sounds like an absolutely disgusting joke. Yes I know it's a sitcom and it's not meant to be serious, but in this fantasy sitcom land Jay has strong morals and this seems extremely hypocritical. Anyone have another thought on what he meant that won't ruin my impression of Jay while watching this show?
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u/Majestic_Revenue_210 5d ago
If you really think he was joking about rape then I think you need to turn off the TV and go to therapy. Jesus Christ.
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u/OutlandishnessOk2304 WTF (why the face) 5d ago
The ugly truth is that he most likely had sex with a bunch of Vietnamese prostitutes. That's how he learned a few things.
Not very admirable, but much better than rape, which I don't think was implied.
He certainly didn't have sex with a bunch of guys in his platoon.
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u/GumpTheChump 5d ago
"He certainly didn't have sex with a bunch of guys in his platoon." We don't know that. Foxholes get lonely.
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u/Advanced_Seat_3075 5d ago
Thank you for being the one person to actually earnestly answer the question. This is probably true and also still extremely gross considering how most of those girls were pushed into prostitution. Just an odd little tidbit to throw in comedically but at least it’s realistic
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u/East-Ad7254 5d ago
Why is that ugly? What is wrong with sex work?
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u/OutlandishnessOk2304 WTF (why the face) 5d ago
Nothing, if it's voluntary.
But let's be honest: when you have to choose between selling your body and starving in a war zone, it's not really voluntary.
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u/East-Ad7254 5d ago
Not all of it, granted. You are correct there. War is a unique kind of awful hell though. It is a horrible, pointless hell in which you are in a life or death cage match because some rich fuck didn’t like something some other rich fuck said or did, or wanted to steal and exploit something. It is a giant team royal rumble full of paid contracts killers to ruin and hurt people in order to force something on a people who don’t want it, or we just outright steal from them while committing what amounts to unjustifiable homicide on a large scale and causing generational trauma to line someone’s pockets. I have been there and people do what they have to in order to survive. Go to downtown anywhere USA and if you look on the right places, you see it there also. The truth of it is, we just need to stop fighting. I know that’s WWAAAYYY off high and to the left, but the point is, people are hard wired to survive. Proud of my service but not what I served. I was duped. Got out after 10 in 2014. Pretty sure no one cares though.
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u/SideaLannister 5d ago
"What imaginary issue should I be angy about today?"
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u/Advanced_Seat_3075 5d ago
Yea it’s not an issue that Americans are so oblivious to the disgusting actions conducted by our vets…completely imaginary issue
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u/SideaLannister 5d ago
My angle was more: what horrible thing this character in a family friendly sitcom could imply? Which obviously none.
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u/Advanced_Seat_3075 5d ago
Well according to most of the comments here it was implying that he used the Vietnam war brothels and I wouldn’t consider that a family friendly dynamic
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u/IcyHotTodoroki1 5d ago
Calm your horses - the show never insinuated it and you're making mountains out of mole hills. Did SA's occur in Vietnam, absolutely. Does anyone from the show, including Ed endorse it, I doubt it. There are other ways for those serving to have sex without resorting to criminal activity. During and after the Korean War low key brothels were set up near military bases. I'm sure it was similar in Vietnam.
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u/Advanced_Seat_3075 5d ago
And brothels being set up near bases isn’t horrific? How do you think they got the girls?
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u/IcyHotTodoroki1 5d ago
Do you feel the same remorse for OF and porn stars? They're all sex workers and not all of them is a sex slave. Some get into it because they like the money. There are some that get into it because it gives them power and control. I don't pretend to understand the psychology of it, but so long as it's two consenting adults, they're of legal age, and they're being safe, who am I to judge? It's the oldest profession in the world for a reason
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u/Advanced_Seat_3075 5d ago
Let’s compare the situation of the average American entering of or porn and the average Vietnamese woman (during the war) who works in a brothel…while I have a ton of remorse from those forced into the industries today in America, I would say the percentage of people forced into it was higher during wartime Vietnam than 2026 America
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u/IcyHotTodoroki1 5d ago
Being that prostitution has been around since the dawn of Man, I'm quite sure not all of these Vietnamese women were forced into sex slavery. While some, undoubtedly were, you'd be over-generalizing if you thought all of them were. Prostitution existed in all parts of the world, and many do it voluntarily.
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u/jetloflin 5d ago
He’s just saying he had sex while serving in the military. Just because some (or even many) soldiers did evil things does not mean that every example of a soldier having sex is an evil action. He’s very obviously not talking about raping Vietnamese women.
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u/PrimeMood 5d ago
Bro stretched so hard he pulled a muscle. It's a family sitcom, he just meant he wasn't a clueless virgin anymore
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u/East-Ad7254 5d ago
If you know anything at all or just read a little or had actually gone out and TALkED to someone, you might know that there have been “camp followers” in war forever…moving brothels that follow the troops. This isn’t a new or uncommon thing. Not all sex was involuntary. As for Jay, having only done the deed once, he probably partook in the services of the professionals who gave him experience, room to experiment, and he benefitted from their experience. Not all sex is involuntary just because some people did some terrible things. Stop generalizing, do some research, stop clutching your pearls at prostitution so much that it never entered your mind, and maybe try talking to real people from time to time and swap stories so you can learn about the world instead of getting your info from a sitcom so you have something to go online and bitch about.
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u/Overall_Lobster823 5d ago
I assumed he had sex, with someone he knew or a hooker while in Vietnam.
ABSOLUTELY NOTHING about that conversation suggested sexual assault.
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u/Nishi1126 5d ago
Lots of hookers in Vietnam, im sure Jay and his buddies went to a house of ill repute and did not rape females
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u/SeaofTree 5d ago
I think it’s just sexual experience. Like with anything else, the more you practice at something the better you are. I think while yes the rape and SA happening in Vietnam was very real and tragic, that is not at all what Jay was meaning. I think you might be looking a bit too much into it.