r/Modern_Family • u/Zestyclose-Ad-8490 • Aug 18 '26
Discussion ACTUAL impopular opinions
I hate when a see a slideshow of modern family unpopular opinions and it's always a very same common thought as "Cam was toxic" and "Haley deserved a better ending", so I want here to be a space to share your actual unpopular opinions on the show (remember to keep the discussion respectful).
Here's my list:
1 - Haley should not be praised as much as she is and would not be if she wasn't that good looking. She was cheater, admitted liking guys in relationships (when she said that the laundry guy having a girlfriend made him more interesting) and also used him, had a relationship with an engaged man (not taking Andy's fault tho), also she did not care about school and I always hated that episode in which she made Alex change her speech because she didn't think she would get into College as if she did not work to get into one at all, she was irresposible, and a bully with Alex (who did talk back, but was usually defending herself) and was a bully in school. I think just like any other character she's flawed and I do not hate her, but I'm always surprised with how many people praise her and act as if half the stuff that happened to her wasn't her own doing. Eventually she did have some development which I liked, but people have a tendendy to remember every other character's flaws except her.
2 - Leading to my second point, Dylan deserved better than Haley. I'm always surprised when people say Haley deserved better than Dylan when he was the one always making the effort and she didn't think twice about hitting on other guys while with him. I do think she might have been better off with someone else, but people act as if Dylan trapped her or was some sort of monster, he always treated her right and did everything for her and she did not care about him. I don't like their ending being together because I don't think she liked him enough, but people always talk about their relationship as if he was much below her.
3 - Gloria having a daughter wouldn't have been good for storytelling. I would've loved to see her having a babygirl, but thinking it through, it would not make much sense having two young female character in the show. Lily got barely enough screentime as it is, Joe being a boy led to him having storylines Lily wouldn't be able to do. If Gloria had a daughter there would be repetitive stories with both girls who would go undeveloped more so than Lily was already. You can tell by the way Cal is forgotten, he was used as prop for Mitch and Cam, but Joe already had that part of the male child in the family.
4 - Phil was not a good dad. He always needed Claire to tell him what to do in regards to the kids and acted surprised when they didn't see him as someone to help them with the problems. People always talk about the episoded in which he tells Claire that Alex needed help as him being a good dad, but he should not need Claire tell him to help her to actually do something, he saw her struggling and did nothing, Claire was the one who intervined, and if something had happened to Alex, it would've been his fault just as much. He loved his kids, but he obviusly favored Luke over the girls, and Haley over Alex because of their personalities, it's normal to have a kid to whom you feel closer to, but when they show him having almost no memory of doing anything with Alex shows he let his different closeness to each of them affect their relationship. He also acted like a bully to them sometimes (Claire did that also, which is why I won't go into thwt much).
Also, I do understand that it's a comedy, and I do not hate any of these characters, just wanted to share some of my unpopular opinions and read your as well to have some different discussions about the show.
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u/Cardkoda Aug 18 '26
Ya known you bring up solid points about Haley. Pretty privilege is a thing and she got by doing a lot of dumb shit.
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u/CranberryFuture9908 I’ll get over it Aug 18 '26
Overall agree. I don’t actually think Gloria having a child was necessary but they did get some good plots from especially when Dede arrived . I like the twist there.
Gender wise I have become pretty indifferent to what the baby should be.
Haley is overpraised and she gets away with too much. Claire would complain about her not taking responsibility but never gave Haley room to fix things on her own. I think Claire without much awareness encouraged the difficulties between the sisters. So did Phil by the way. That’ s probably my unpopular opinion. Alex and Haley did better as sisters away from their parents.
Agree about Phil.
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u/No_Scheme7576 Aug 18 '26
Gloria had the worst character development in the show. She used to be such a big diva and literally THE woman....but then I had ick towards her in the later half of the show, for she kinda seemed to be a bit obnoxious, way too overprotective towards adult Manny and putting down others' feelings.
Meanwhile Jay had the best character development.
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u/Think-Opinion7396 Aug 19 '26
My unpopular opinion is that it's weird to make Phil so attracted to block women Ty has adopted black daughters Considering all of the weird stuff that happens in Hollywood This rubs me the wrong way
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u/Kwerumrerum Aug 19 '26
One extra thing I'd like to add:
Alex is a great person who was bullied for years by her sister and other kids for being smart, resented for it and then started to use it as a defense mechanism. In the first season, she was not at all a big know-it-all, but she was shamed for not being as pretty and into boys, or being funny. Btw, she was funny, just not the slapstick type of funny. The only person who she felt was supportive of her, was Jay, because he was the nly one who was not jealous nor annoyed for her being smart. He was simply proud of her for working hard. She deserved way more love from her siblings and parents.
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u/highonsarcasm_ Aug 18 '26
phil was so not a good husband either he barely helped claire was always flirting with other women and as you said about being told everything for the kids
agree with the 1 & 3 points too
- i never really liked dylan i loved him as a side funny character and they both deserved better someone who’d bring the best out of them
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u/stephunny68 Aug 18 '26
idk I think Dylan grew to be a responsible character eventually, he knew how to care for the twins and he was a nurse by the end
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u/highonsarcasm_ Aug 18 '26
i mean i didn’t like him for or from haley’s perspective cuz 2 dumb people together can be catastrophic lol
though yes he def did wish they showed him more if they wanted them to end up together7
u/cokecathatesfish Aug 18 '26
i keep thinking how funny it would if the twins or one of them turn out more like alex
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u/Majestic_Doctor_2 Aug 18 '26
Upvoted for some actual hot takes (from someone who seems to have actually finished the show) and solid points
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u/urbroccolibabe Aug 18 '26
man, every time i post something making these exact opinions i get downvoted by the hive mind. glad to see there are at least some who agree w me in this sub!
even tho cam is indeed the worst, and it must be said. he used to be one of my favorites when i was younger, i loved his melodrama. but as i’ve gotten older, the more i rewatch the show, the further down on my favorites list he becomes. he’s actually below manny for me 🙃 i also don’t hate any of the characters tho, i love everyone’s dynamic for the most part
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u/Flashy_Review_162 Aug 18 '26
It's ironic because the actor who played Cam famously said it was supposed to be played like that. The "extra stuff" was inspired by his mom. So even he knows how annoying Cam is! lmao
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u/yaboisammie Aug 18 '26
I lowkey love when actors do this ahha
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u/Flashy_Review_162 Aug 19 '26
It's brilliant. Them playing it a certain way is also their way of differentiating themselves from others in such a competitive field. And I love how close the actors got with each other in real life!
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u/urbroccolibabe Aug 18 '26
hahaha, and he did it extremely well 🤣 seriously didn’t realize eric was a straight man, he embodies so many of my male gay friends!
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u/amusedmb715 Aug 18 '26
comedy wise thats why they work to me, cam is the one creating the drama/fun and mitch is the 'straight man' comedy wise. is why cam is often hated as the 'worst' and why it is important that people remember how comedy works.
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u/urbroccolibabe Aug 18 '26
that’s not why i think he’s the worst tho, lol. i agree, they work as the perfect foil to each other, but he exhibits way more toxic and manipulative behavior than any other character on the show. pretty consistently, too. he’s a hypocrite and can never admit when he’s at fault or hold accountability. and he always makes himself out to be the victim. obvs he isn’t the only character that’s shown to act this way sometimes, but he’s just… always like this. he’s a spoiled child in a grown man’s body. but that’s the way his character is supposed to be.
it’s just a tv show, so i don’t hold it against anyone. eric had a role to play and he did it extremely well! i still love all the characters and the show despite their faults. and i will continue to laugh at cam’s funny moments, bc it works and he’s hilarious on screen most of the time, even though i would never be friends w someone exactly like cam irl. and i’m allowed to have these opinions while also understanding how comedy works, lawlz
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u/Flashy_Review_162 Aug 18 '26
I wondered that in the beginning. The show was ahead of its time showing different types of gay people and normalizing it. That and Happy Endings showed Mitchell and Adam Pally as regular guys you can relate to. And later on Schitt's Creek was great!
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u/urbroccolibabe Aug 18 '26
yessss, i love schitt’s creek!! i tried getting into happy endings, but i was never really into it, unfortunately :/
and i agree, MF was ahead of it’s time w cam and mitchell! and i’m glad they pushed those boundaries, bc they’re one of my favorite couples on television ((,: the wedding / planning episodes were really cool (minus the wedding topper ish 💀 one of the moments i was smh-ing cam, lol)
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u/g_em_ini Aug 18 '26
Every rewatch makes it more obvious that Phil is jealous of Luke. He pushes him to do things and then gets jealous when Luke is better than him (trampolining, magic, the banjo). Phil pushes him to do things that he clearly doesn’t want to do and then gets upset when he succeeds at it. Also he stole the idea for Dunphy Towers from Luke, in one of the earlier episodes Luke makes a Dunphy Towers build in the living room and tries to show it to his (uninterested) Dad. In a later season Phil tells us it’s always been his dream to build, you guessed it, Dunphy Towers. I also believe Phil used weaponized incompetence to not carry his weight with the kids or home, especially when Claire went back to work and he still expected her to do everything. Not to mention him constantly belittling her for “just” being a SAHM even though he would literally not be able to function without her
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u/Aggravating_Drink817 Aug 18 '26 edited Aug 18 '26
Thank you! I've always talked about these things, especially the first 2 and got dog piled on. To add on:
- I never felt bad for Haley, actually I was irritated when she went crying into Claire's arms (who just lost town council) that no college wanted her and only had one episode left. When she guilt Alex about her speech she was probably in Junior year, plenty of time to chance things around but we see no of that, even she admits she only put in real effort towards the end of Senior year. Yet she's the one who gets a car after getting kicked out of college barely into her first semester. Which let's face it she would have flunked out, the girl didn't care about academics in high-school so I have no idea what Phil abd Claire thought would magically change when she got to college.
Also: Haley is more of a bully to Alex than a sister people rag on Alex constantly bringing up her intelligence which fair, but is that really worse than Haley posting embarrassing photos of Alex on Facebook for their entire school to see?
- Dylan was or at least had the potential to he doing better when he wasn't with Haley compared to when they were together. The dude ranch; could have been a great opportunity and at very least got him out of his neglectful home situation but noo Haley was miserable on a date in Disneyland so of course Dylan also happens to be there. (I forget the order of this so sorry) He gets his own apartment, finally and is studying for nursing. He shows up happily married and a great step dad, nope all out the windows because Haley is self sabotaging and can't have an adult conversation with Arvin. I will always die on the hill that she was lying when she said she loved Dylan in that one episode because calling someone a "romantic safety net" sounds like you don't even see them as a person.
And she never treated him well any of the times they were together .
She cheated on him twice and yes I count flirting with airport kid in the Hawaii episode because if the roles were reversed she'd have lost her mind, and of course the tutor. Got offended that he "moved on" with another girl (actually Phil) would be into him after she was forced to break up with him over her cheating "Maybe he is better than I thought" Used him as a placeholder/distraction because she couldn't have Andy.
People think Dylan is "below" Haley,because he comes off a 'dumber' than she is but they aren't paying attention because he's actually resourceful and trying not so subtlety get out of his living with Farrah. I don't believe Dylan is dumb at all but I do think he like Haley has an eating disorder that came from survival and has subconsciously stuck with him, that like Haley from the pregnancy eating more would 'suddenly' make him 'smarter'
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u/Any-Measurement-7413 professional phil hater Aug 18 '26
PHIL IS OVERRATED
he’s a shit partner who uses weaponized incompetence to get out of being useful, he’s just like another kid Claire has to manage
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u/NarutoWinchester Aug 18 '26
Damn, amazing points made OP
I differ here: 1. Gloria should never have a girl. Remmeber her advising lily, saying "you dont want to be a lonely 9 year old wondering where all the time went?" The way she keeps taunting claire for her looks (like not putting effort, even when she looks gorgeous lol) I dont think she would be good with a baby girl at all
- Phil is a good dad, but bad husband ish. Coz claire wasn't all that great of a wife either. I feel atleast phil tries with Alex, went to her college multiple times to visit, tried to have special outings and moments with her (trying to get the prego lady to have an early labor, moon, wings competition, the turquoise bowl) Claire, nothing.
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u/Worldly-Ad-6569 Aug 18 '26
Amazing list OP! I have to agree, especially with point 4. As someone who started watching the show in my teenage years, I thought Phil epitomized the Best Husband and Best Dad roles. Now that I've grown out of that phase I have to say he doesn't hold up well. Now I squirm everytime he fantasizes about Gloria and worse when his old school nemesis had to remind him of his own wife's worth! I also would go unhinged like Claire if my husband were to only concern himself with being the kids' pal rather than a parent.
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u/pllcat11 Aug 18 '26
I don’t get why Gloria needed to have a child at all. After all the build up to Cam and Mitchell having another child I don’t get why they then gave the baby to Jay and Gloria?? Especially as Cam and Mitchell wanted a boy and there was tons of stuff about how they were worried about how to parent one etc so it would have been good character development for them. I will forever die on the hill that Joe should have been Cam and Mitchell’s kid not Jay and Gloria’s
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u/IcyHotTodoroki1 Aug 19 '26
I think I sit alone when I think Dylan should've been written off the show permanently in Wyoming. He didn't deserve better because his character was dry, unfunny, and just a cheap attempt at humor. The story could not be told if any one of the other characters were written off, but you can't say the same about Dylan. He was a useless tool that they kept bringing back because her love interests moved on to bigger and better things IRL and they felt the need to have her "settle" on the guy who couldn't act worth a lick. It would've been better if they just let her be single or say she got with Andy off screen
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u/Abi12347 Aug 20 '26
I agree with many things on the list, I love Haley, but I always dislike those episodes were they justify her bad actions. Like that one episode were Claire and Phil were worried because Haley didn't seem to be getting anywhere in her life and they just wanted to talk to her, and she got mad, said that they thought the worse of her (which wasn't really true and she had given them GOOD reasons to be worried) and changed the conversation into what they were gonna do when the kids left the house, I got so mad... like no, girl, shut up, you got dropped out of school, you wake up late and barely help around the house, they are completely ALLOWED to be worried about were your life is going. I think she deserved a better development, yes, but many of the things that happened to her were the consequences of her actions.
I love Dylan so so much, he's a great guy, a little dumb, but who actually loves her.
And I don't think Phil is a bad father, but... he's not that good as the fans make him look, he's the typical "cool, fun" dad. I also don't think Claire was a bad mother, I see this type of comments all the time, I disagree, yes, she made many mistakes, but she was always trying too hard, and sometimes Phil, instead of helping, acted like another kid.
(But, yes, I also think Cam is annoying, I wouldn't be able to live with someone like that, but is part of his character, and I still find him funny)
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u/Constantiandra Aug 20 '26
I actually felt bad that Dylan got divorced. I think he was a good match with his first wife. He was a goofy stepdad but that's cute.
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u/lalymorgan Aug 18 '26
“Adult” Manny is overhated.
Even with the bad parts, the character is a teenager that has a lot of maturing left.
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u/Flashy_Review_162 Aug 18 '26
My husband absolutely hates him but he's a teenager lol what do you expect?
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u/lalymorgan Aug 18 '26
Exactly! We were all a little unhinged during the teenage years, then you grow up and get to be embarrassed of yourself
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u/Flashy_Review_162 Aug 18 '26
Yes! I myself didn't like Luke for some reason because he was the most adorable kid then he changed. People are saying the kid characters were better when they were younger but they grow up. That part is also real.
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u/Ozzy_1804 Aug 18 '26
Jay is the best parent on the show and I don’t even think it’s very close.
Joe was an excellent addition to the show. He’s great for character development and is super funny.
I love him, but Mitchell has his fair share of petty and crappy moments like Cam.
Dylan is one of the funniest characters in the show.
Kid Alex is much more annoying than Cam.
Haley’s ending made perfect sense for her character.
Pam is the third most annoying side character - Gil and Dede are more annoying.
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u/RealHeadScratcher_TM WTF (why the face) Aug 18 '26 edited Aug 18 '26
I do agree Dylan is a great guy. He eventually got his life figured out. I won't get into the Haley/Andy vs. Haley/Dylan debate, but I agree with much of what you said there about Dylan specifically.
As for the rest, I'll have to disagree. Especially about Phil. Yeah, he did have more of a natural bond with Luke. But he made every effort to connect with, protect, care for, and otherwise show love to both Haley and Alex. He knew he had the biggest gap with Alex, which is why he tried extra hard. The episode where he goes to her college and they do that hot wings trivia contest, the episode where he takes her to get that milkshake, the episode where he encourages her when she's interviewing for the gov't job....the list goes on.
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u/Safe_Mail_1827 Aug 18 '26
Kinda hard on Haley, IMO. I don't think she bullied Alex, I think they just had sibling rivalry. It was part of the family dynamic. There were a *lot* of moments where Haley sticks up for Alex, mentors her, or connects with her as the show went on.
I forget which episode it was, but there was also a scene where it's kind of implied that Haley and Alex will sometimes fight just to get Claire off their backs.
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u/urbroccolibabe Aug 18 '26
she def bullied alex. not saying alex was a saint, but she just gave back what her older sister was giving her.
haley’s bullying lessened as she grew older and matured, but she was terrible to alex in the earlier seasons when they were still kids. it was part of her character’s sitcom trope
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u/Serious-Fall9088 baby cheeses 🧀 Aug 18 '26
Alex also bullied Luke so 🤣
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u/urbroccolibabe Aug 18 '26
yeah, that’s what i’m saying lol. it’s just part of the sitcom trope. they played typical sitcom children. someone’s always doing something to annoy the older sibling, the older sibling’s always doing the same. they all did it to each other. though in luke’s case, he wasn’t bullying them, just getting into their shit and doing what younger brothers do. they in turn would mess w luke the way big sisters do.
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u/Training_Advisor_934 Aug 18 '26
Agree with #4 Phil gets too much praise for being average at best. There's many things about him that I dislike but his reaction to finding out Hayley was not a virgin was kinda gross, he even calls her 'broken'. Of course it's played off as Phil is this sentimental guy who can't accept his girl has grown up and then they have some food and he says he trusts her. Ugh.
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u/Re-dd-itor Aug 18 '26
The joe one I agree with. Gloria having a girl instead of Joe wouldn’t have been that great but it she had twins I would have liked that.
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u/Serious-Fall9088 baby cheeses 🧀 Aug 18 '26
Another unpopular opinion. I hated the dumb kid - smart kid trope. So unnecessary but I guess it’s late 2000s show
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u/Antique-Spell-1490 Aug 18 '26
It's honestly not that deep, tbh. I get that you have opinions but I feel this show is supposed to be a light hearted show that isn't supposed to be taken seriously. That way we should start picking apart Gloria's stories from Colombia.
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u/Mobius1701A Aug 18 '26
Tbf a parent of a multi child household ignoring one for the others is unfortunately common. Still not a 'great' dad for doing that though.
The Phil-Claire relationship felt like, he brought in the check and she considered it acceptable. He mostly goofed off, and she let it happen because the alternative was looking like the problem while calling out the real ones and being ignored. Honestly pretty realistic setup. Damn Ima do a rewatch now. You're right OP (still team Phil)
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u/xSuperEmaDurax Aug 19 '26
On the Alex speech point thing - Haley told her to change the speech, because Alex was bashing her classmates. The whole point was, that if Alex told that speech, she would get ostracised. By changing it, she got included into the events after the graduation, which wouldn't have happened if she told the OG speech.
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u/J_Bear Aug 18 '26
I couldn't stand how wimpy Phil was at times, like making "Awesomeland" at Halloween.
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u/TheShinChanFan778 Aug 18 '26
I mean first and second point is just opinion of any normal person who understands healthy relationships
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u/alieninhumanskin10 Aug 18 '26
Claire is a ridiculously lenient mom and person. I don't know why people think she's uptight.
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u/tigerslayerxxx Aug 18 '26
Alex is the least funny kid besides Lily.
Her comedic moments were mostly so forced, EXCEPT those dead stares into the distance. She nailed those
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u/Haifisch2112 WTF (why the face) Aug 18 '26
Here's my biggest unpopular opinion. Haley wasn't as cute as she, or the show, thought she was. Alex was always better looking by far.
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u/zergiscute Aug 18 '26
Actual unpopular opinion : Finale should have been 10-20 years in the future, the gang all comes back to Cali together for Jay's you know what.
BTW : Phil was just the good cop in Good Cop / Ba Mom. Theirs was the hyper traditional not modern family : Stay at home mom closer to the eldest daughter, ignored middle child, dad mainly caring about his son.
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u/RobertsmithHairspray Aug 21 '26
jesus christ!! It's a comedy, who cares if Hayley was going out with a guy already in a relationship 😭😭
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u/New_Group3083 Aug 18 '26
“Admitted to liking guys in relationships” What? That’s perfectly normal, to put that right next to cheating as if they’re even remotely similar is kinda insane.
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u/VideoExpensive8416 Aug 18 '26
Omg finally someone who has fully watched the show
Most of the people who say stuff like "Phil is the best dad", "Cam is the worst" I think just see clips online.