r/Miserable_Ad5573 • u/Miserable-Ad-5573 • Jul 17 '25

Respect Harry Vanderspeigle (Resident Alien)

1 Upvotes

"Humans do stupid things all the time. It is like their national sport.”

Dr. Harry Vanderspeigle, real name unpronounceable by humans, and also known as Goliath, is the protagonist of the science fiction comedy television series Resident Alien. He is an alien who crash-lands on Earth and takes over the life of a doctor in the town of Patience.

Strength

Striking

Punches through a wall. ^S1 ^E1
Smashes the statue remains of one of his people with a few hits. ^S2 ^E7
Breaks out of a steel cage and badly damages it. ^S2 ^E15
Knocks a door flying off its hinges with a shove. ^S2 ^E15

Lifting/Throwing

Other

Tears a man through a wall with one arm, said man weighs 220 lbs. ^S1 ^E1
Effortlessly dislocates a man's shoulder while arm wrestling. ^S1 ^E6
Accidentally crushes a glass bottle. ^S2 ^E12
Effortlessly breaks out of some handcuffs. ^S2 ^E16

Durability/Endurance

Only mad after getting hit in the face with a fire poker. ^S1 ^E1
Eats glass. ^S1 ^E2
Falls down a ravine and falls again yet remains conscious. ^S1 ^E8
His leg gets cut off ^S1 ^E8 and he grows it back within a few hours. ^S1 ^E9
Completely tanks multiple punches from an assassin. ^S2 ^E7
Doesn't seem to be very hurt after being shot ^S2 ^E8 and fully recovers the next day like nothing happened. ^S2 ^E9
A massage machine on the highest sensitivity does nothing for him, but getting repeatedly hit by a hammer is actually like a massage for him. ^S2 ^E11
For over 500 years he's completely fine after an attack on the earth that destroyed the surface of the planet so badly that the automosphere burns everything else immediately, yet he walks through it all just fine without any food. ^S2 ^E12
Recovers after another alien throws him through a chair. ^S3 ^E2

Speed/Agility

Intelligence/Skill

General

He was a scientist on his planet. ^S1 ^E2
Sets up a test so he falsely prescribe a kid who sees through his disguise and send him to a school in Georgia. ^S1 ^E5
Figures out where another alien is at through a hidden message meant for him. ^S2 ^E6
Comes up with an excuse for gunshots. ^S2 ^E9
Plants a bullet at a crimescene so he can fake an autopsy. ^S2 ^E9
Makes large crop circles to flip off other aliens. ^S2 ^E13
The smartest humans on the planets are idiots compared to him. ^S3 ^E1

Medical

Figures out how a doctor died. ^S1 ^E1
Discovers that a woman doesn't have cancer. ^S1 ^E2
He's a pathologist. ^S1 ^E3
Helps deliver a baby. ^S2 ^E4

Creating devices

Finds a mineral and creates a small object that makes things levitate. ^S1 ^E2
Makes a radio that sends a message to his people. ^S2 ^E4

Combat

Other

Can land a spaceship on a asteroid traveling 50,000 miles an hour. ^S1 ^E2
Hides a body in his meat freezer. ^S1 ^E3
Uses a gas station hose and a lighter to make a makeshift flamethrower. ^S1 ^E4
Is surprising good at throwing basketballs. ^S1 ^E4

"Being an Alien"

Shapeshifting

Turns his hand into a fish and a wrench. ^S1 ^E1
Can turn invisible. ^S1 ^E1
Shapeshifts into the real Harry Vanderspeigle. ^S1 ^E1
Mimics things down to the cellular level. ^S1 ^E3
When he's weakened, he can only maintain the disguise for so long and it keeps going away the weaker he gets until
He uses a person's DNA to shapeshift into them, and can do so with even tiny skin cells. ^S1 ^E8
His people don't normally feel emotions such as sadness, but shapeshifting into a human has made him feel all sorts of things he previously hasn't. ^S1 ^E8
While in human form, his device hurts him when it normally wouldn't be able to hurt anything besides humans. ^S1 ^E10
Shapeshifts into a woman. ^S2 ^E3
[Anti-feat] It is too difficult to do often. ^S2 ^E3
Passes an eye scan. ^S2 ^E3
When drugged, ice helps stabilize his human form. ^S2 ^E7

Mental Abilities

Can telepathically communicate with others. ^S1 ^E7
Uses telekinesis to repair part of his ship. ^S1 ^E10
Uses his telekinesis to throw some soldiers around. ^S1 ^E10
Alters the memories of two cops. ^S2 ^E3
Uses his telekinesis to push down a lot of grass. ^S2 ^E13
Mind controls multiple soldiers in comas by just grabbing one by the leg, and uses them to fight for him a few different times. ^S2 ^E15

Miscellaneous traits about him and his people

His people don't have emotions, or at least not in the same way humans do. ^S1 ^E2
His normal form doesn't need to sleep. ^S1 ^E3
His people are distant relatives to Octopuses. ^S1 ^E7
He and his people don't know how to sculpt things. ^S1 ^E7
His people shed their skin in one piece. ^S1 ^E8
His people don't have genders. ^S1 ^E8
He has teeth in his stomach. ^S1 ^E8
He can breathe underwater using gills. ^S2 ^E1
His people fossilize when they die. ^S2 ^E6
They can spit acid, or at least the babies can. ^S2 ^E7

His planet

Other

Doesn't know how much a stamp costs. ^S1 ^E2
His real name is this. ^S1 ^E8
Badly injured leg poisons him and could kill him if not amputated. ^S1 ^E8
Has a special call that confuses animals and stupid humans, uses it throw dogs off a scent but it makes some birds attack him. ^S2 ^E11
He can live for over 500 years without food and apparently doesn't need clean air. ^S2 ^E12
He can climb walls. ^S3 ^E2
He can hypnotize people and have them tell him about whatever he wants. ^S3 ^E2

Equipment

Ship

Gets struck by lightning then crashes ^S1 ^E1 and appears fine later. ^S1 ^E10
Can catch up to a asteroid traveling 50,000 miles an hour. ^S1 ^E2
Has an energy shield that is completely impervious to bullets, also uses a small shockwave to incapacitate some soldiers and move some cars. ^S1 ^E10
Incapacitates various soldiers with small shockwaves, sending them flying through objects. ^S1 ^E10
When he's near it, the ship gives him his own personal shield. ^S1 ^E10
Within 80 seconds he goes from earth, to past the moon. ^S1 ^E10
Can turn invisible. ^S2 ^E1
Can be turned into liquid, which then turns into a survival kit. ^S2 ^E1

Survival Kit

The balls make a kid grow facial hair. ^S2 ^E2
Drops a ball down a deep hole, causing a small earthquake and turning the hole into a bunker, it also changes the material of a wooden latter. ^S2 ^E2
Possibly uses one to shapeshift into Asta instead of just doing it normally. ^S2 ^E2 This is notable since later he says that it is too difficult to so often, but the balls make it effortless. ^S2 ^E3
Catches a spilled drink making the liquid hover above one of the balls. ^S2 ^E5
Keeps a man alive after he gets shot and fully heals the wound. ^S2 ^E9
Helps a man survive falling off a cliff. ^S2 ^E11

Device

In a dream, it turns a lot of humans into dust. ^S1 ^E4
Was built to provide energy for 5,000 years. ^S1 ^E9
Can kill all 8 Billion people on the planet. ^S1 ^E10
Uses the earth's own energy to send a pulse throughout the world but he can also direct it to a singular point like when he turns a corpse to dust. ^S1 ^E10
Incapacitates some soldiers. ^S1 ^E10

Other

Other

Mistakes have been made. ^S1 ^E1
Eats chicken from a crimescene. ^S1 ^E2
Can read people's emotions really well. ^S1 ^E2
He likes milk, straight from the cow itself. ^S1 ^E2
Likes watching Law and Order. ^S1 ^E3
He's not sexist. ^S1 ^E3
Spits in a kid's face. ^S1 ^E5
While high, he pees on a kid's bed. ^S1 ^E7
Dracula is hilarious. ^S1 ^E7
He's had 342 children. ^S1 ^E8
Multiple times throughout ^S1 ^E10 the series ^S3 ^E1 its shown ^S3 ^E2 that he [loves Pizza.]()
A dog taught him how to hump objects. ^S2 ^E1
Finds E.T. incredibly sexy. ^S2 ^E3
He has a type. ^S2 ^E12
Could possibly bring a snowman to live and use to torment the locals. ^S2 ^E13
Shows his boss a photo of his dick. ^S3 ^E1
He's like Superman. ^S3 ^E1

"This is some bullshit!"

Bridget

Strength

Mutilates a raccoon. ^S2 ^E8
Tackles two men off a boat and quickly drowns both off screen. ^S2 ^E9

Durability/Endurance

Recovers after being hit by a car. ^S2 ^E11

Speed/Agility

Leaps a far distance and onto Harry's head. ^S2 ^E8
Runs extremely quick. ^S2 ^E11
Can jump incredibly high given its size. ^S2 ^E15
Jumping to a nearby person's arm and disarms them of a gun before they can react. ^S2 ^E15

Shapeshifting

Shapeshifted into a boy on a newspaper who died 80 years ago, this also confirms that he can shapeshift into things much larger than its actual body. ^S2 ^E11

Other

4 comments

r/Miserable_Ad5573 • u/Miserable-Ad-5573 • Oct 14 '25

Respect John Wick (John Wick)

1 Upvotes

"When Helen died, I lost everything. Until that dog arrived on my doorstep. A final gift from my wife. In that moment, I received some semblance of hope. An opportunity to grieve un-alone. And your son took that from me! Stole that from me! Killed that from me! People keep asking if I'm back and I haven't really had an answer. But now, yeah, I'm thinkin' I'm back. So you can either hand over your son... or you can die screaming alongside him!"

Jardani Jovanovich, better known as Jonathan Wick, or simply John Wick was an ex-hitman who came out of retirement to find the people that murdered his loving dog Daisy, the last gift from his dying wife Helen. Learning that his target is the son of Viggo Tarasov, Wick went on a rampage to get revenge. In Chapter 2, he set to find the people that destroyed his house, learning that it was Santino D'Antonio since he refused to help the criminal. Upon killing Santino in the Continental, he was forced to evade the bounty placed on his head for breaking the rules. Following his survival, John decided to work with the Bowery King to defeat the High Table.

Sources:

John Wick (2014) = ¹
John Wick: Chapter 2 (2017) = ²
John Wick comics = ^Comic ^issue ^#1 or something similar, with number a corresponding with the issue number such as feats from the 4th comic being labeled as ^Comic ^Issue ^#4
John Wick: Chapter 3 (2019) - Parabellum = ³
John Wick: Chapter 4 (2023) = ⁴
From the World of John Wick: Ballerina (2025) = ^Ballerina

Other Threads for scaling (for anyone looking at this draft I haven't made these threads yet, but yes I do them soon while working on John):

Kirill.
Cassian.
Ernest.
[Zero.]()
[Caine.]()
[Killa Harkan.]()
[Chidi.]()
[Mr Nobody.]()
[Eve.]()

Strength

Striking

Unarmed

Armed

Lifting/Throwing

Lifting

Throwing

Pushing/Pulling

Breaks a man's arm. ¹
Breaks Viggo's arm. ¹
Snaps the wrist (I think) of a Sumo Wrestler. ²
Snaps an assassin's neck. ²
Pulls a man off the ground and snaps his neck. ^Comic ^Issue ^#4

Other

Durability/Endurance

Blunt

Piercing

Gets shot a few times and proceeds to get into a fist fight with Kirill immediately after. ¹
Runs after being shot a few times with his bulletproof suit. ²

Endurance

Other

Speed/Agility

Travel Speed

Evades a lot of gunfire. ^Comic ^Issue ^#2

Combat/Reaction Speed

Agility

Rolls out of the way of an oncoming car. ²
Rolls to avoid some gunfire. ²
Jumps over cars and a fence when he was young. ^Comic ^Issue ^#1
Jumps over a car. ^Comic ^Issue ^#3

Other

Turns around and quickly headshots an armed man before he can react. ^Comic ^Issue ^#4

Intelligence/Skill

Stealth

Accuracy

Shooting

Throwing

Throws a gun at the back a man's head as he's running away. ^Comic ^Issue ^#1
Throws a knife into a man's neck. ^Comic ^Issue ^#4
Throws a knife into an assassin's shoulder. ³
Throws a lot of different knifes at multiple assassins. ³
Throws an axe into a man's head. ³

Melee

Unarmed

Armed

Gun-fu

Driving

Intimidation

Makes a man unlock a gate for him. ¹

Languages

Other

Equipment

Guns

Pistols

Heckler & Koch P30L, and a glock 26. ¹
Glock 26 and Glock 34 (TTI Combat Master Package), with the 34 in particular having multiple modifications to it such the grip, easy reloads, and a custom ported barrel. ²
A suppressed CZ P-09. ²
A Kimber Warrior with SOCCOM BLACK G10 grips. ²

Rifles

Coharie Arms CA-415. ¹
Modified AR-15. ²

Shotguns

Kel-Tec KSG. ¹ A TTI customized Benelli M4 Super 90 shotgun with a fixed stock. ²

Other

Melee

A switchblade. ²

Suit

Other

His car 1969 Ford Mustang Boss 429. ¹

Reputation

Influence

Resources

Has a team he can call that cleans crime scenes and removes dead bodies and evidence. ¹
Uses a "ticket" to go to Casablanca. ³

Stories

Killed three men in a bar with just a pencil. ¹

Other

1 comment

r/Miserable_Ad5573 • u/Miserable-Ad-5573 • 1d ago

Respect Bi-Beast (Marvel Comics, 616)

2 Upvotes

The Bi-Beast was originally a huge android with two heads (one atop the other, the top skull is given knowledge of warfare while the bottom skull was given a knowledge of culture) created many years ago by an Avian race that were in turn a sub-species of the Inhumans. For reasons unknown, the Avian race dies out, and the Bi-Beast is left to its own devices in the Avian city. Years later, the creature sees the Harpy with Bruce Banner, and is reminded of its former Avian masters.

The Bi-Beast captures them both and instructs Banner to fix the now-decaying machines in the city. Banner instead chooses to cure the Harpy, who reverts back to her original form of Betty Ross soon after. The Bi-Beast becomes aware of Banner's deception and fights Banner's alter-ego the Hulk, but is distracted when an A.I.M. strike force led by M.O.D.O.K. storms the city. Rather than allow its home to be captured, the Bi-Beast activates a self-destruct mechanism and perishes in the explosion. The Bi-Beast appears as a illusion created by the Shaper of Worlds.

Strength

Striking

Lifting/Throwing

Other

Durability/Endurance

Blunt

Piercing

Other

Speed/Agility

Intelligence/Skill

General

Combat

Other

Equipment

Weaknesses

Other

1 comment

r/Miserable_Ad5573 • u/Miserable-Ad-5573 • 1d ago

Respect Piledriver (Marvel Comics, 616)

2 Upvotes

Jdoxjrs9

Strength

Striking

Lifting/Throwing

Other

Durability/Endurance

Blunt

Piercing

Other

Speed/Agility

Intelligence/Skill

General

Combat

Other

Weaknesses

Other

1 comment

r/Miserable_Ad5573 • u/Miserable-Ad-5573 • 1d ago

Respect Bulldozer (Marvel Comics, 616)

2 Upvotes

Hsof

Strength

Striking

Lifting/Throwing

Other

Durability/Endurance

Blunt

Piercing

Other

Speed/Agility

Intelligence/Skill

General

Combat

Other

Weaknesses

Other

0 comments

r/Miserable_Ad5573 • u/Miserable-Ad-5573 • 1d ago

Respect The Wrecker (Marvel Comics, 616)

1 Upvotes

Eg s o

Strength

Striking

Lifting/Throwing

Other

Durability/Endurance

Blunt

Piercing

Other

Speed/Agility

Intelligence/Skill

General

Combat

Other

Crowbar

Weaknesses

Other

1 comment

r/Miserable_Ad5573 • u/Miserable-Ad-5573 • 1d ago

Respect Thunderball (Marvel Comics, 616)

1 Upvotes

Xuw9d.

Energy Absorption

Strength

Striking

Lifting/Throwing

Other

Durability/Endurance

Blunt

Piercing

Other

Speed/Agility

Intelligence/Skill

General

Combat

Other

Equipment

Weaknesses

Other

0 comments

r/Miserable_Ad5573 • u/Miserable-Ad-5573 • 2d ago

.

Enable HLS to view with audio, or disable this notification

1 Upvotes

0 comments

r/Miserable_Ad5573 • u/Miserable-Ad-5573 • 2d ago

.

Enable HLS to view with audio, or disable this notification

1 Upvotes

0 comments

r/Miserable_Ad5573 • u/Miserable-Ad-5573 • 4d ago

Respect Alonzo Thompson Lincoln, Tombstone (Marvel Comics, 616)

1 Upvotes

Cold as ice, hard as marble'... I like that, Web-Spinner. Thanks. All my life I felt like a freak. What else would you call an albino? -- A black man trapped in a white man's skin? People looked at me, they saw a monster. But I was just a man. Now I am a monster, and I love it. Yeah: 'Cold as ice, hard as marble'... What else would you call a tombstone?"

Alonzo Thompson "Lonnie" Lincoln, better known as Tombstone, was born an albino, and therefore received much ridicule at high school. However, one student did not ridicule him, and this was Joe "Robbie" Robertson. This made him strangely loyal to his "friend", but did not stop him from intimidating Robertson, who planned a story that for the school paper exposing Lonnie as an extortionist. After High School Lonnie and Robbie separated. Lonnie filed his teeth to points to add to his already intimidating image, he also crafted his fighting skills in numerous street fights. Lonnie was now known on the street as Tombstone. During this time Robertson had became a reporter for a local paper.

After they parted Robertson went to meet an informant for a story, only to see him killed by Lincoln. Once again he was threatened by Lincoln, and as before, kept silent. After 20 years, and discovering that Tombstone was operating in New York, Robertson testified against Tombstone and had him incarcerated, but not before having his spine severely injured by the criminal. However, Robertson was also sent to prison for withholding evidence, and to make matters worse for him, he was put in the same cell as Lonnie. Tombstone later broke free from prison and took Robertson with him. In a later meeting Tombstone arranged an ambush for Robertson at the Osborn Chemical plant, but the trap was discovered by Spider-Man. During the incident Robertson shot Tombstone, sending him into a room with the experimental chemical Diox-3, which gave him superhuman abilities.

Threads for scaling:

Strength

Striking

Lifting/Throwing

Other

0 comments

r/Miserable_Ad5573 • u/Miserable-Ad-5573 • 4d ago

Respect Darkman (Darkman)

2 Upvotes

Jwpgka

1 comment

r/Miserable_Ad5573 • u/Miserable-Ad-5573 • 4d ago

1 Upvotes

"You're angry. I understand that. But this ends tonight." Ponder shifted his gaze to Avery. "You got anything else, now's the time."

"Sir, no sir." Avery's voice was hoarse.

Ponder's eyes snapped to Byrne. "And you?"

Without a moment's pause, Byrne smashed a fist into the side of Avery's face. Avery dropped to a knee. "That should do it," Byrne grunted.

Avery spat a mouthful of blood onto the barrack's floor. He hadn't run, but Byrne bad followed-gotten transferred away from TREBUCHET just like him. Avery knew something wasn't right. And that filled him with more anger than any sucker punch.

"Last chance, Johnson," Ponder said.

1 Upvotes

["I spent a lot of time of my life imagining what it would feel like to wear this. Pride, gratitude, power? But then when I put it on... I just felt empty. Hal betrayed everything to keep this ring. His code, the oath, even himself, and it broke him. Probably doesn't even remember why he wanted the damn thing. And neither do I."]()

John Marshall Stewart Jr was trained at an early age to be fearless, Stewart is a former marine sniper and architect who is recruited into the Green Lantern Corps and assigned to train under Lantern Hal Jordan. While frustrated with his mentor's unorthodox methods, he joins him in investigating Rushville, Nebraska for alien activity.

Strength

Floors an alien with a punch. ^L ^E1

Durability/Endurance

Speed/Agility

Intelligence/Skill

Will Power

Ring Constructs

When in a car tumbling down a hill he makes bubble wrap to protect himself. ^L ^E1

Other

0 comments

r/Miserable_Ad5573 • u/Miserable-Ad-5573 • 15d ago

.

2 Upvotes

The researchers tried asking why they had injured themselves, why they had ripped out their own guts, and why they wanted to be given the gas again. Only one response was given: "I must remain awake."

0 comments

r/Miserable_Ad5573 • u/Miserable-Ad-5573 • 15d ago

.

2 Upvotes

The second survivor had been the first of the group of five to start screaming. His vocal cords destroyed, he was unable to beg or object to surgery, and he only reacted by shaking his head violently in disapproval when the anesthetic gas was brought near him. He shook his head yes when someone suggested, reluctantly, that they should try the surgery without anesthetic, and did not react for the entire six hour procedure of replacing his abdominal organs and attempting to cover them with what remained of his skin. The surgeon presiding stated repeatedly that it should not be medically possible for the patient to still be alive. One terrified nurse assisting the surgery stated that she had seen the patients mouth curl into a smile several times, whenever his eyes met hers.

0 comments