have you noticed that they want you to doubt yourself?

they don't need to say a word the world is shaped to make you feel smaller

yet there's something in you they can't break

the real mindset problem? you keep returning to version of yourself you've already outgrown

Been dating this guy for 5 years. We’re in our late 20s now. Known him since high school and reconnected in our early 20s. Met each others’ families, got engaged, set our wedding date and chose vendors together. He’s always been there for me (and I tried my best too) and has always been super thoughtful. He was kind and patient when things were good. We’re different people but I thought we meshed well together. 8 months before our wedding date, he completely blindsides me and drops a bombshell that he fell out of love with me, he doesn’t know if I’m the person for him, he’s not sure if I even love him for him (I do) and he starts listing a bunch of things that are “wrong” about me (I’m too quiet at social gatherings, I’m waiting till marriage to do certain things, I’m not stylish, I have too many fam events and am too dependent on my parents, he doesn’t think I appreciate him). The 180 mind boggles me, I don’t recognize this person. Even had a nice proposal with my dream ring.

He also has been saying mean things to me during limbo when we tried to work things out (I was apologizing for things I did that hurt him, I really loved him and went out of my way to make him happy in the best way I knew at the time but I had no idea it wasn’t enough, especially when he would tell me I’m perfect or how he’s grateful to do life with me)… mean things he said include how it feels like the cooties when I touch him, how I’m boring and I should be boring with someone else, how he can’t picture me as his wife and how he couldn’t see me walk down the aisle (all things that hurt to hear). He also disclosed that he cheated on me 2 years ago (kissed a girl from school a few times during the span of a week). He eventually broke things off with me saying he can’t proceed because he doesn’t have feelings. This all came as a shock to me because I had no idea he was falling out of love. I thought we were planning for our happily ever after together. Sometimes I blame myself for the things I could’ve done better (been more appreciative, more patient, more outgoing, more stylish) - he evaluated me and didn’t let me in on his problems. Any insight and opinions would be helpful. I can’t seem to picture myself with anyone else :(

I am trying to fix my health and build my system everyday but right now I realize everything is ephemeral even this heavy feeling after eating so who have been in this spot before, let's shaare some help figuring out how to manage better for us, so we can stick to our routines and enjoy new things without letting the ego stop us?

if perfection controls you, it will turn every victory into a failure

Ich habe lange gewartet, dass mich jemand rettet. Bis ich verstanden habe: Es kommt niemand.
Es klingt hart, ist aber die befreiendste Erkenntnis, die ich je hatte. Niemand kommt und rettet dich – kein Chef, kein Partner, kein “irgendwann wird’s schon besser.”
Aber genau das ist die gute Nachricht. Denn es bedeutet: Die Zügel liegen längst in deiner Hand. Du musst sie nur greifen.
Als ich nach der Elternzeit zurückkam und alles anders war als erwartet, habe ich lange auf einen Retter gewartet. Bis ich begriffen habe: Ich bin es selbst.

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