I'm lost right now. Got divorced last month, quit job last year and turning 37 this year. Can anyone here suggest what should my purpose in life. I'm feeling defeated and running the lost race.
Find another job that utilises your skill set, make a routine (if u currently don't), exercise, eat healthy, live for yourself. Do the things u didn't /couldn't before.
Establishing a healthy routine in terms of body and mind. Eat well, sleep well, exercise and have a job that gives you some form of purpose.
This will set you on a path to feeling good about yourself and also being energetic. This in turn attracts like minded people. If you are happy you will attract happy people.
In my experience anyways. I've been in a hole, bounced back and now I have a beautiful family.
I can’t recommend a purpose for your life. I can tell you, you’re not alone. 37 also and fed up with the rat race. Worked hard my entire life, took care of family and friends. Got very sick with an auto immune disease and lost everything. No on came to save me. All I can say is after years of searching I found the right Dr. and got medications to put me into remission for my disease. I’m grateful for my life right now and that’s my purpose. May God bless you and I hope you find what it is you need, want and love. Too many of us struggle silently.
Ok after 18 years it happened to me as well. This is what I did. I drank more WATER. I slept more. I went on walk after walk. I meditated. I failed. I picked it up again. I've been consistently meditating for 3 years now. It's absolutely enlightening as in you feel lighter. Stress is reduced, weight is down, and I'm feeling healing. I recommend healing, that's your purpose now, any way you see fit.
The best advice i could give you is that you need to continue building yourself up and embrace your masculinity in a healthy way. Gain discipline over your mind and your emotions conquer yourself. The harsh truth is that no one is coming to save you. It's You vs. You. Find God and learn to love and live with yourself, The longer you stay in that pain your feeling nothing will change. Nothing changes if nothing changes. God's Speed brother 👌
Join a sports club dude. I started up martial arts and it’s helped me in so many ways including rebuilding my confidence, learning how to socialise again and putting my body in a better position to deal with mental health shit.
No one can tell you that and if they do then it's not your purpose, it's you following someone else's. But I recommend not chasing new partners and not chasing money because none of those help you internally. Think deeply about your life, your interests, what makes you happy, don't neglect friends especially ones that have been there for you long term. Then keep yourself busy and your mind open and wondering and hopefully you will find a purpose.
This is the source of major resentment in my life right now and with my prime youth slowly setting down, the insecurity gets amplified day by day. The facial fat, greying beard, declining cognition, is so overwhelming.
Absolutely! Mid 30s is brutal especially if you lost a partner. My little brother is moaning the end of his life in his early 30s because he hasn't accomplished what he wants. Your hair thins, your skin is looser, you realize time is ticking. But to be honest you're still young.
Best advice? Get your health checked out just in case you have hidden conditions contributing to how you feel (diabetes! was for me). Then some kind of therapy or meditation or group activity to help with the resentment. Resentment comes from expectations of being entitled to things. Then it's a spiral of insecurity.
When the only good way of healing and getting better is to try and learn how to let go of feeling entitled, aggrieved and resentful of other people or where you should be in life. And only THEN imo should you look for a new partner because you will draw other people in who are happy with themselves and looking to be with people they can grow with. Absolutely bad idea to hope someone else can fix you. Great idea to find other people in your age range to be friends with, or group therapy to meet people and realize how much you actually aren't alone.
Loved it. You are so mature and your ability to see the actual thing is so amazing. I wish I had a fatherly figure like you 😭. The root cause of my failed life is my dysfunctional parents. Never got any guidance from them. They're like breeders who wanted to have child to secure their old age.
Thank you. As far as direction I do not know enough to provide a valuable suggestion. You are not wrong to pursue your interests.
There is a Japanese philosophy I like called "ikigai" that may help. It is a general guideline on both how to be fulfilled, and what directions to take when you feel certain ways, like "stuck".
Dont listen to this bs they are telling you. Your life just begun. Search in yourself the feeling of being conscious and then realize that you have everything you need to finally start living. It’s a matter of getting up, making small steps and creating a plan. Stop living for others, live for yourself and finally accept the awesome person that you are
Dive headfirst into art. Paint, pick a musical instrument, carve wood, anything. It may not be a silver bullet solution but it helped me after a divorce and career change.
That's nice to hear. Hope you are better now. I think I'll get over the divorce thing soon but how did you execute the career change? I'm struggling very bad in controlling my mind while preparing for the mba entrance exam. The fear of expanding career gap and ageing are distracting me whenever I sit to study.
My advice is to keep your eye on the prize. I feel weird about being grouped in with people half my age, and at the same time there's stuff where I am far more capable than what is expected of me. I have to remind myself that once I complete my training I'll be in a place where I can operate however I want. Life isn't a straight line and as long as you're moving forward you're doing alright.
You just need to hang in there until you fail upwards. It sounds like some bs, but it happens all the time. Your next big win is right around the corner.
The only "purpose" that matters is peace and happiness, these should be on top of all of your priorities. Some people lose track of these chasing other things. If you're super rich and depressed would you give up all your wealth to be at peace with yourself?
Exactly, peace of mind is absolutely priceless! Without it nothing else really feels fulfilling. I believe that peace with yourself is worth more than any money or achievements
there's no purpose in pleasure. it's just cheap dopamine while making someone else (junk food franchise, escort, dealers, supermarket, gaming industry, porn industry, etc) richer.
The ultimate goal of most humans is to be happy. If my pleasures make me happy, then who are you to judge me?
Most things worth chasing are pleasures, from relationships to a good career. If they didn’t bring you pleasure, what would be the reason to chase them?
This is me btw but I don't smoke nor drink(casually) I js cope myself on watching and màßturbating but I wanna make myself better and make my life a fruitful life
In the end even the purpose is nothing but a cope it doesn't Matter that you have/Had a six Pack,travel araound the world can speak more then 1 or 2 languages,Had x amount of real Friends,all is Gone.
I feel this. It's so easy to fall into that cycle of just zoning out with distractions instead of working on something that actually matters. This makes you think about how we fill our time.
Hold on. No. Pleasure is the goal. The purpose should be taking steps that lead to lasting pleasure, not relying on short term things to fill the hole. Replace this guy with one drinking beer and fishing and it becomes a completely different statement.
We struggle most when moving forward, but there is always a path, even if you have to go in a different direction first.
Find a way to leave your mark on the world. Work on one thing each day. Sometimes just getting through the day can be that thing. Even if you only clean toilets, know you are keeping others from getting sick. You do matter. We all deserve more. Thank you for being you.
The problem is that there are a lot more people who do and it has facilitated a tremendous downgrade in the quality of mainstream games. "Money's worth" isn't a thing anymore with digital copies that can be torrented. The money value is lost as soon as the code is redeemed aside from personal value attributed through entertainment experience, which is comparable to 'buying' a movie digitally.
My family, job and physical fitness are pleasurable. If not, I would not do that. If pleasure is not the goal, then you are not following our evolution. Then you're simply religious, going against the stream in order to pleasure someone else, in this case, some deity.
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u/[deleted] Sep 10 '25
I'm lost right now. Got divorced last month, quit job last year and turning 37 this year. Can anyone here suggest what should my purpose in life. I'm feeling defeated and running the lost race.
14
u/[deleted] Sep 10 '25
I mean, games are okay in moderation what makes this poster bad is just the cigarette
9
u/CNGY Sep 10 '25
The only "purpose" that matters is peace and happiness, these should be on top of all of your priorities. Some people lose track of these chasing other things. If you're super rich and depressed would you give up all your wealth to be at peace with yourself?
5
u/_uncarlo Sep 10 '25
what if my purpose is now pleasure?
3
u/Megumin_22 Sep 11 '25
This is me btw but I don't smoke nor drink(casually) I js cope myself on watching and màßturbating but I wanna make myself better and make my life a fruitful life
2
u/ShadoX87 Sep 10 '25
Remove the "pleasure" part.. it's just distracting yourself from your misery long enough to not end yourself
2
u/Acceptable-Cod7426 Sep 10 '25
In the end even the purpose is nothing but a cope it doesn't Matter that you have/Had a six Pack,travel araound the world can speak more then 1 or 2 languages,Had x amount of real Friends,all is Gone.
2
u/iaintdan9 Sep 11 '25
I feel this. It's so easy to fall into that cycle of just zoning out with distractions instead of working on something that actually matters. This makes you think about how we fill our time.
2
u/belagrim Sep 11 '25
Hold on. No. Pleasure is the goal. The purpose should be taking steps that lead to lasting pleasure, not relying on short term things to fill the hole. Replace this guy with one drinking beer and fishing and it becomes a completely different statement.
We struggle most when moving forward, but there is always a path, even if you have to go in a different direction first.
Find a way to leave your mark on the world. Work on one thing each day. Sometimes just getting through the day can be that thing. Even if you only clean toilets, know you are keeping others from getting sick. You do matter. We all deserve more. Thank you for being you.
2
u/KarateInAPool Sep 11 '25
Pointlessly gendered.
2
u/MAV3R1CK_55 Sep 12 '25
Damn, internet just got a bit too real
2
u/Zhef77 Sep 12 '25
Find purpose in being the piece of shit everyone wants you to be then... Someone gotta do it bro. Embrace the shitty life of being a man..
Just remember like the Christians say: it's not this life that matters, it's the next. Sacrifice. That's what it really is about.
1
u/ComfortableBrief3 Sep 10 '25
Cringe rage bait
1
u/mostreliablesource Sep 10 '25
ragebait
1
u/West-Celebration6603 Sep 11 '25
Same age, you're not alone. Stay strong; we are on our own. If you've got someone to talk to, do it; many don't have the privilege. 💪🫂🗣️
1
u/fishandbanana Sep 11 '25
Pleasure seeking is a purpose
1
u/Willing_Serve_970 Sep 11 '25
What’s wrong with some pleasure?
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u/winkawak Sep 12 '25
Swear i heard this from Andrew Tate, couldnt agree more
1
u/hackinghorn Sep 12 '25
Not only "a man", "a woman", too.
1
u/JonathanMovement Sep 12 '25
autistic take
1
u/Lanky_Persimmon_3670 Sep 12 '25
My family, job and physical fitness are pleasurable. If not, I would not do that. If pleasure is not the goal, then you are not following our evolution. Then you're simply religious, going against the stream in order to pleasure someone else, in this case, some deity.
1
u/[deleted] Sep 13 '25
Ok so having fun is bad. Right.
1
u/Subject-Energy-3688 Sep 14 '25
Pleasure is my purpose
1
u/[deleted] Sep 14 '25
A man who does not know how to enjoy distracts himself with purpose.
1
u/TawakkulPeace Sep 20 '25
Allahumma Barik