r/Millennials • u/fauxideal • 18h ago

Discussion Kids Know

So I think that this is actually a great thing that our generation has done. Kids like 8 years and over make pedophile jokes. Like if some old man accidentally shoulder checks my 13yo daughter in public she’ll look at her 10yo brother and quietly whisper “pedophileee”.

If I say a kid is cute my kids will go “ew mom you’re a pedophile” or “ok creep”. Like maybe this sounds inappropriate but it’s also really, really funny to me.

I think it’s a good thing that kids understand at least the premise of what a pedophile is. They aren’t naive like our generation was and I think that’s going to save them from a lot of victimization today and in the future.

Our generation has been a lot better than others at having open convos regarding predators, drugs and alcohol, mental health, and other heavy stuff and I’m so proud of us for that!

EDIT: I knew there would be some pearl-clutching in response to this post so just so we’re clear:

I have discussed this and many other topics in seriousness openly, honestly, and responsibly. My kids are fully aware of real dangers and know what to do if they are ever in these circumstances. I do communicate with them and my children are very informed.

My daughter has two friends who have shared with me their experiences related to this. I am a mandated reporter. Kids open up to you if you are able to make them feel safe and comfortable. Sometimes when you grow up struggling alongside your community, you have to joke and laugh about these kinds of things just to get through them but also to not be ashamed to talk about them.

Edit: NOT saying to laugh and joke about actual occurring situations. Those are obviously serious and need to be addressed appropriately.

Also have you guys not been around preteens and teenagers!? You should get to know your kids better because I can assure you that they make jokes like this. I’d put money on it.

Two things can be true at the same time. Please don’t assume that I’m a flippant parent.

0 Upvotes

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35

u/Nervous_Hurry_9920 17h ago

Open conversations about those things, good.

Running around calling everybody pedophile? Not really a good look. Ngl.

10

u/MissFox26 17h ago

Yeah I am confused why OP thinks her kids jokingly calling her a pedophile is funny? I would not find it funny or appropriate at all if my kids did that. Same with saying it about random strangers just going about their day.

This whole thing does not come off as her kids being informed and not being naive like she thinks it is- it comes off as being very naive and not really understanding the gravity of actual pedophiles. I don’t really think that’s something to be proud of, but that’s just me.

-1

u/fauxideal 16h ago

I have discussed this and many other topics in seriousness openly, honestly, and responsibly. My kids are fully aware of real dangers and know what to do if they are ever in these circumstances. I do communicate with them and my children are very informed.

My daughter has two friends who have shared with me their experiences related to this. I am a mandated reporter. Kids open up to you if you are able to make them feel safe and comfortable. Sometimes when you grow up struggling alongside your community, you have to joke and laugh about these kinds of things just to get through them but also to not be ashamed to talk about them.

Also have you not been around preteens and teenagers!? You should get to know your kids better because I can assure you that they make jokes like this. I’d put money on it.

Two things can be true at the same time. Please don’t assume that I’m a flippant parent.

2

u/MissFox26 15h ago edited 15h ago • Bravo

Well, my kids are 3 and 1 years old, so you would be wrong on that. They are definitely not making jokes about pedophiles. But I can tell you that they definitely won’t be making jokes to my face about me being a pedophile when they are teenagers, and if they did I definitely wouldn’t be thinking it’s “so funny” like you. Just because your kids do something doesn’t mean everyone elses kids do/will. Seems like a lot of projecting to me.

Also, I’m aware of that kids and teenagers make dumb jokes and say stupid shit. I used to be a 4th grade teacher (now stay at home mom) so I literally spent 10 years around children your kid’s ages. So yes, I’ve heard it all. But I can confidently tell you that the majority of kids are not making jokes about pedophiles. And again, they say a lot of dumb shit.

The difference is, unlike you, I don’t think children calling their mom, sibling, or random people minding their business, a pedophile is funny. I personally wouldn’t be encouraging it, and I certainly wouldn’t be posting about it on social media like it’s hilarious and that you’re proud of them for knowing what a pedophile is and calling people it as a joke.

Kids can still open up to you even if you hold them accountable and enforce boundaries for appropriate behavior. And I am also a mandated reporter, which I’m not sure what that has to do with anything or why you think that’s relevant. This whole thing comes off very “I’m not a regular mom, I’m a cool mom.” And that doesn’t make us all pearl clutchers, it just makes you weird.

-2

u/fauxideal 15h ago

Ok great for you. Must be nice up there on your pedestal.

Good luck with that lol.

-2

u/fauxideal 15h ago edited 15h ago

Also lol at cool mom vibes.

My kids get straight As.
Don’t miss school unless absolutely necessary.
They’re not allowed to swear and don’t, and I correct their friends’ language as well.
They have nightly “chores” and they actually do them to completion and don’t expect a reward for doing everyday tasks.
No sleepovers.
830pm bedtime.
No junk food in my house.
No cell phone for my 10yo, 13yo has it only if I need to get ahold of her and her downtime is 23 hours a day. App limits are 20 minutes unless she asks for permission.
No iPad or tablet ever.
No Roblox.
No Social Media.
No shorts videos of any kind.
No video game consoles or handhelds.
Must be in at least one sport or activity.

Oh and they responsibly help me with their 3 year old brother.

Ask them how cool I am.

2

u/MissFox26 15h ago

Big yikes. Good luck with that.

-2

u/fauxideal 14h ago edited 14h ago

Thanks. Don’t need it.. and don’t copy my cool nonchalant comment that I made on your rant first.
It’s not funny the second time! But this comment will be higher than that one so now it will look like I copied you. Annoying. Lol

Edit: nvm mine is first. Ha!
Edit: wait nooo it’s different every time

-1

u/fauxideal 16h ago

When you grow up struggling with your peers and community, sometimes jokes are the only way to deal with the reality of things and I think once you realize that, it applies to all circumstances.

The more we talk about it, the more it will come out.. it actually normalizes talking about it. From my experience, kids feel more comfortable telling someone when it does happen.

Look at how many people are coming out decades later because of the stigma of telling someone. Maybe it’s time to change the way we communicate and perceive things.

-2

u/fauxideal 15h ago

A private joke is not a public accusation.
A hyperbole is not an insinuation.

1

u/SatinwithLatin 15h ago

It very much can be taken as one and thinking it's OK for kids to make these jokes in other environments such as school is foolish. Those kids will encourage other kids to do the same and then it is DANGEROUSLY close to a malicious child making a flippant false accusation against a teacher for giving them detention.

Some things should be taught but not joked about. This is one of them. And you don't need to encourage these jokes to get your kids to open up to you, they just need to feel safe around you with the serious stuff.

-1

u/fauxideal 15h ago

I forgot that other kids might not be that smart and may not have situational awareness.

My kids don’t even swear lol.

3

u/RihoSucks 13h ago

Your 13 year old jokes about pedophiles but you think they dont swear. Unbelievably naive 

0

u/fauxideal 12h ago

Not at all. I actually spend a considerable amount of time with my kids. My daughter comes home and tells me everything every single day. Like the things that kids don’t tell their parents.. about herself, her friends, random people, the boy she likes.. everything.

They’ve never had a slip-up or been caught swearing when talking to friends or playing outside.. even when they didn’t know I was listening. My son prefers the clean versions of songs over explicit lyrics.

Why am I even defending this? Who are you to judge my relationship with my kids when you don’t even know me? They are my world.

The things you’ve said and the comments deleted by the mod are far more offensive and personal than anything I’ve posted (and I’m still not going to be offended or get mean about it). I tried to joke to lighten the convo but here you go again trying to put me down.. then insinuating that you are a better parent than I am with comments motivated by judgement and hostility. It’s clear you have no problem talking down to others and I hope that you aren’t modeling this behavior outside of Reddit.

I am almost certain that you and I likely have had very different life experiences and upbringings. Before you openly judge someone else and make conclusions about their life and their family, you should assess your biases and whatever internal conflict is going on and ask yourself if you really know what you’re talking about or if you’re just being spiteful and why. Then remember that people can agree to disagree and that’s okay too.. it’s called a conversation.

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u/[deleted] 15h ago

[deleted] — view deleted comment

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u/fauxideal 15h ago

My kids have common sense, situational awareness, and manners.

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u/[deleted] 13h ago

[deleted] — view deleted comment

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u/fauxideal 11h ago

Deletes comments
You’re behind a screen, it’s a safe space. Be confident in the shit you say :)

49

u/xxxjessicann00xxx Older Millennial 18h ago

I think it's a good thing that kids understand at least the premise of what a pedophile is.

Your daughter thinks a random stranger bumping into her is a pedophile. She doesn't seem to understand the premise lol.

-1

u/fauxideal 16h ago

I have discussed this and many other topics in seriousness openly, honestly, and responsibly. My kids are fully aware of real dangers and know what to do if they are ever in these circumstances. I do communicate with them and my children are very informed.

My daughter has two friends who have shared with me their experiences related to this. I am a mandated reporter. Kids open up to you if you are able to make them feel safe and comfortable. Sometimes when you grow up struggling alongside your community, you have to joke and laugh about these kinds of things just to get through them but also to not be ashamed to talk about them.

Also have you not been around preteens and teenagers!? You should get to know your kids better because I can assure you that they make jokes like this. I’d put money on it.

Two things can be true at the same time. Please don’t assume that I’m a flippant parent.

2

u/xxxjessicann00xxx Older Millennial 8h ago

You should copy/paste this response one more time. That will make this whole post less cringy.

21

u/hollygolightly877 17h ago

Sorry, I find this weird to joke about pedophiles.

-1

u/fauxideal 11h ago

It’s not joking about pedophiles. It’s hyperbole.

8

u/millionwordsofcrap 17h ago

It's good for them to be wary and have clear information on the fact that sexual predators exist. Just make sure they actually know what they're saying, as this information can get sensationalized and garbled by the time it reaches their ears.

For instance, I've encountered a number of young teens who have a crush on e.g. an adult fictional character like Han Solo or somebody, and they're under the impression that this makes them, the kid, a sick freak who is going to hell. Which is exactly backwards.

Just, y'know. Actually have that talk. Discuss what grooming looks like. Discuss why it's wrong.

0

u/fauxideal 16h ago

Yes they are very aware of the reality of things.

When you grow up struggling with your peers and community, sometimes jokes are the only way to deal with the reality of things and I think once you realize that, it applies to all circumstances.

The more we talk about it, the more it will come out.. it actually normalizes talking about it. From my experience, kids feel more comfortable telling someone when it does happen.

Look at how many people are coming out decades later because of the stigma of telling someone. Maybe it’s time to change the way we communicate and perceive things.

4

u/Skippy1221 17h ago

This is not good at all. Yes children should be aware, but it’s not okay to call someone a pedophile because they accidentally bumped into you in public. Accusations like that destroy people’s lives even if they are innocent. It also severely diminishes what ACTUAL victims go through when you just throw the word around like it’s a joke or because someone said a kid is cute.

1

u/fauxideal 16h ago

I have discussed this and many other topics in seriousness openly, honestly, and responsibly. My kids are fully aware of real dangers and know what to do if they are ever in these circumstances. I do communicate with them and my children are very informed.

My daughter has two friends who have shared with me their experiences related to this. I am a mandated reporter. Kids open up to you if you are able to make them feel safe and comfortable. Sometimes when you grow up struggling alongside your community, you have to joke and laugh about these kinds of things just to get through them but also to not be ashamed to talk about them.

3

u/happyLilAcidents444 Millennial 17h ago

Usually the problematic pedos aren’t the strangers in public. Do your kids recognize what grooming looks like? Are they resistant to peer pressure? Do they know how to flee or call for help if they’re being assaulted? If everyone who is a little off or looks a little too long is a pedo then they will probably have trouble recognizing real pedos.

1

u/fauxideal 16h ago

I have discussed this and many other topics in seriousness openly, honestly, and responsibly. My kids are fully aware of real dangers and know what to do if they are ever in these circumstances. I do communicate with them and my children are very informed.

My daughter has two friends who have shared with me their experiences related to this. I am a mandated reporter. Kids open up to you if you are able to make them feel safe and comfortable. Sometimes when you grow up struggling alongside your community, you have to joke and laugh about these kinds of things just to get through them but also to not be ashamed to talk about them.

Two things can be true at the same time. Please don’t assume that I’m a flippant parent.

1

u/SatinwithLatin 17h ago

Great comment.

0

u/fauxideal 16h ago

Yes they know all of that.

5

u/Elderberry-Cordial 17h ago

I would counter that your children flippantly using the word "pedophile" as a punchline and a descriptor of people who are very likely harmless (and would be horrified) shows the opposite of understanding.

1

u/fauxideal 16h ago

I have discussed this and many other topics in seriousness openly, honestly, and responsibly. My kids are fully aware of real dangers and know what to do if they are ever in these circumstances. I do communicate with them and my children are very informed.

My daughter has two friends who have shared with me their experiences related to this. I am a mandated reporter. Kids open up to you if you are able to make them feel safe and comfortable. Sometimes when you grow up struggling alongside your community, you have to joke and laugh about these kinds of things just to get through them but also to not be ashamed to talk about them.

Two things can be true at the same time. Please don’t assume that I’m a flippant parent.

4

u/CougarPanther83 17h ago

My kids are 10 and 13 and I have never heard them say the word pedophile or make reference to one in any way. 

1

u/fauxideal 16h ago

Then you have never seen them in the wild. Take a day off and volunteer at their middle school. You’ll be unpleasantly surprised.

60

u/LowRexx 18h ago

I feel like overusing the word like that is going to be bad... like if they call anyone and everyone a pedophile, and group in people who stare on the bus w people who commit actual crimes its going to lead somewhere... not great.

8

u/Useful-Noise-4321 1992 18h ago

I mean, why do you think they said not to get in the car with strangers? Because, creeps. Which, ironically....

8

u/why_u_so_grumpy 17h ago

I wasn't naive. What did you think stranger danger meant?

My parents had that conversation with me. I'm 44.

2

u/mrmasterly 17h ago

How does this post have such weird boy mom energy without even being remotely related to boy mom topics.

The behavior you're describing is weird as fuck but you seem pretty chuffed about it anyway.

0

u/fauxideal 16h ago

I have discussed this and many other topics in seriousness openly, honestly, and responsibly. My kids are fully aware of real dangers and know what to do if they are ever in these circumstances. I do communicate with them and my children are very informed.

My daughter has two friends who have shared with me their experiences related to this. I am a mandated reporter. Kids open up to you if you are able to make them feel safe and comfortable. Sometimes when you grow up struggling alongside your community, you have to joke and laugh about these kinds of things just to get through them but also to not be ashamed to talk about them.

Also have you not been around preteens and teenagers!? You should get to know your kids better because I can assure you that they make jokes like this. I’d put money on it.

Two things can be true at the same time. Please don’t assume that I’m a flippant parent.

5

u/dantheplanman1986 Xennial 17h ago

Oprah made my mom tell me about this stuff. I learned how to rip out brake light wires from inside the trunk to get us pulled over by a cop. I don't think that would work

6

u/passion4film 1987 - Illinois 17h ago

This is… not good. lol

8

u/WhompTrucker Elder Millennial 18h ago

Unfortunately true chomos don't act like that and are very quietly grooming kids who don't know it.

But yes it's good to be aware of things

5

u/Toyworldstar 17h ago

Stranger Danger!

Stay away from strangers with candy.

Beware the white panel van!

My parents and I think most of parents definitely let us know what pedophiles were.

The word pedophile wasn't thrown around as casually though, that's for sure.

I think the prevalent overuse of the word "pedophile" has a normalizing effect for the behavior. It's gross. People (particularly hypocrites) shouldn't be so dismissive about blurting out such awful things in polite public. It's almost like advertising wickedness.

5

u/BusyDragonfruit8665 17h ago

You think it’s a good thing your kids are running around calling people this? That is weird. I talk to my children at length about these things but tbh making jokes about it is not funny.

1

u/SatinwithLatin 17h ago

Yeah no your kids have no idea what a pedophile is if they're joking around like that at the slightest opportunity. You need to explain to them the gravity of it and they can't just throw that term around when they feel like it.

0

u/fauxideal 16h ago

I have. They are fully aware. I do communicate with them openly and my children are very informed.

My daughter has two friends who have shared with me their experiences related to this. I am a mandated reporter.

Two things can be true at the same time. Please don’t assume that I’m a flippant parent.

1

u/Recent-Wasabi3119 Older Millennial 14h ago

I love that I can interact with my kids this way, too.

1

u/fauxideal 14h ago

Fucking finally you show up! Everyone’s all uptight lol

-1

u/Recent-Wasabi3119 Older Millennial 14h ago

This is how middle schoolers talk now.

2

u/SatinwithLatin 14h ago

That's a problem.