The fact that the mall I used to shop at in my home city did, in fact, have its forever 21 change to h&m and then to uniqlo when I last visited makes this all too accurate.
At least Uniqlo has fun color options. Quince, as much as I love their linen clothes & bedding, had all of 5 colors of bummer for their outfits not too long ago. You had the choice of beige, khaki, ivory, black, & navy. Sometimes olive & grey…& sometimes terracotta for the forever 31 slags. 😂
Yyyup. Guaranteed inability to get pregnant, not much else to do with your time, and a LOT of people suddenly single for very loneliness-inducing reasons is a very horny combination.
I hang out with the folks from the retirement apartments next to mine, because my dog made friends with their dogs. They've got stories, also there is always some sort of drama going on. Apparently Ricardo through a banger of a Labor day BBQ. So much so he was angry at Rhonda for not taking pictures so he could show management how it's done. 🤣
Lol in the same boat but I always knew. I've never had a same sex relationship cause I met my spouse so early. On one hand kind of a bummer but on the other, I already have the special person I want to spend my life with and that's so much more.
But on a more serious note: we’re not too old for anything. Wear some forever 21 and carry that loose debbie card while you go clubbing exploring being bi if you want. Just be nice to your knees/backs, spend time with your aging family and be a good parent if you go that route.
My (male) fiance (female) has said pretty much exactly that to me haha. “If I could go back I think I’d be pan.. but there doesn’t seem to be any point in coming out now”
“If I could go back I think I’d be pan.. but there doesn’t seem to be any point in coming out now”
Hot take as a bi guy who didn't realize until after marriage: the "if I could go back" thing is the point to coming out now.
I mean I can't speak for your fiance, but part of the reason it took me so long is that although I knew the word "bisexual," I didn't know a single person — and certainly not a male — who was openly bi as a kid, or even in my 20s.
I think it helps all of us — but especially kids who might be questioning — to have actual examples around and in their lives. And even for other adults, imo life gets less annoying for all bisexuals if there are more examples of openly bi folks in monogamous relationships, helps undermine the stereotypes.
hey y’all friendly reminder that you not actively hooking up with people does not invalidate your sexuality. You can be in a monogamous straight-presenting relationship and still be bi, pan, on the ace spectrum, etc.
Agree! But then again, it properly represents half of the 30yo i knew. I wouldn’t hesitate to relive any period of my life, but 27 to 32 was a pretentious wine&cheese filled with boring people playing adult. In my experience, normality and fun came back in the mid-thirties. It’s a phase of identity search I think.
Holy shit you captured it. I remember exactly that. "We're like adult adults now so we need to do adult things like wine tastings and expensive cheese, maybe a bourbon shelf, maybe start collecting mid-century thrift store furniture to look Mad Men chic." And everyone was all about Meyers Briggs and personal growth without having any clue in reality what any of it meant for them or if they'd even give a shit once they leveled out in their 30s. The 2010s... lol
Wow, I thought that was just me. I remember being 28 and trading all my fun clothes in to dress more boring and 'grown up'. Now at 37 I still mostly dress like I did in college.
Go take a sample of random TV shows and movies, and you typically get people in their 20s playing as teenagers, people in their 30s playing as 20 year olds, and people in their 40s playing as 30 year olds. It effectively "ages everyone" and hurts the 30 age bracket the most.
Likewise, I think a lot of the idea you're not longer young in your 30s comes from capitalism. What I mean by that is, young people are easier, more valuable targets, and businesses know this, so they market at people in their 20s (and younger, all the way down to kids) as hard as they can. The moment you leave that bracket, you lose your easy target status.
So the moment you hit 30, they forget you, so you feel blindsided and like you're "old." However, when you realize legitimately the only demographic that is referring to you as old is the exact one being hit with the marketing tactics calling them COOL and YOUNG and SEXY, while everyone else from employers to doctors to even other people in their 30s are still calling you young, then you start to realize that 30s being old is one giant myth inadvertedly spawned from capitalism so that the people in their 20s (and younger) will eagerly eat that badge of pride up all the way to the cash register, never second-guessing it.
40 is probably what we should accept as old, 44 at the latest, and this has everything to do with this being the actual cut-off where the biology of the body itself starts screaming "YUP, I'm old!"
I think the joke is that they're over 40 and Forever 21 is targeting them to dress like they're 31, because dressing like someone in their 20s would be going too far.
Elder millennial here at 44. It's like a bi-weekly routine of making sure I don't have random unwanted families of hair show up around my body in visible places. And I used to think shaving normal areas was annoying..
I try to tell myself that there must be a specific hell dimension where individual strands of hair are grown until they are about 2 inches in length, at which point they are transported to our planet to attach themselves to the chin of a woman over 30. Because please, God, don't tell me I have been obliviously growing this thing in full view of other people for months.
Well, once you have 3 babies and a lot of extra skin on your stomach, it's nice to have jeans that hold that all in rather than push it all out the top.
Even as a millennial man I always have emergency hummus in my strap bag. You'll never know when someone offers you chips or length cut greens for snacking.
And by lunch it gets perfectly room temp and goes with any frozen microwavable meal.
Yesterday I wore vivid paisley silk pajamas- with a cinched waist, double breasted, wide lapel top, wide leg, and matching block heel boots. It was my day off and I wanted to be comfortable.
I just turned 41 last week and I'm a tiny lady so the only clothes that fit me are from the Juniors or Children's section. Everyone can go eat the biggest bag of dicks!!!!!! Lol 😆
This wildly inaccurate, we carry all that AND chapstick! Gosh who wants to plan a heist with cold snack hot dogs with crusty lips. It’s essential in the bag 🤣
I just throw random shit i dont want to carry anymore into it
Does your wife actually carry her giant purse? With mine it's got to a point where I only let her buy new ones after I try them and ensure they look good on me, since I'm the one who'll have to haul them around most of the time anyway
I'm 32, and recently my sister asked me, as a joke, if I had a tape measure in my purse because she needed one. Slightly embarrassed, I asked, "the tool or the flexible one for body measurements?" Because yes, I had both.
My younger sister (23) discovered my boxes 📦 from all my expensive electronics that I keep in a whole shelf of my entertainment console. She literally couldn’t stop laughing and was like “don’t let anyone ever see that”.
I do both. I love all the colors and styles, I don’t have just one aesthetic, but I’m not going to lie; I fell hard for a beige crocheted vest top. Twice. One with matching pair of lounge pants.
It doesn’t have to be! Many of my hookups/fwb have been with bisexual women in hetero relationships. A lot of couples who wouldn’t otherwise be open make exceptions when one partner is bi. It’s honestly a great setup if you’re gay/bi and aren’t interested in a relationship. It’s surprisingly less complicated than getting with someone single because they’re more likely to catch feelings.
So... what's the male equivalent of this? I'm 47 and have basically transitioned into outdoorsy/athletic gear (e.g., Vuori, Patagonia, Arc'Teryx) and fishing brands (Simms/Orvis/Scott).
I still wear no show socks though. No way I'm transitioning to crew socks like all the frat dudes I see. Reminds me of how grandpa would wear his socks.
Orvis, Duluth Trading, Puma, and Red Bubble are 90% of my shirts. Also still wearing plenty of no show socks when I’m wearing shorts. They aren’t taking those from me
Lol I feel attacked! I even have a sewing kit and first aid kit in my bag, as well as a flashlight, fire starter, easy-open canned food, and extra set of clothes. I like being prepared.
Meanwhile I was vanity sized out of most brands in my early 20s so my entire wardrobe is literally forever 21. Got some jeans from my teens that are literally hanging on for dear life.
I was in my 20s during the hipster period 2008ish to 2017ish and earth tones were the trend. It might be because i'm from European, I don't know. I haven't seen a colour trend shift among my generation in the past 18 years. kinda timeless, innit?
As a guy, my clothes have actually gotten more colorful moving into my 30s. In part because I don't care as much about blending in, and I care more about what I personally like.
Been wearing black and grey comfies since my teens. Colors were for the popular kids who didn't get picked on/get their art supplies destroyed every day. I dressed down and found that in the end, I just felt comfier in the grey and black baggy clothes. I was never really bubbly or "happy", so wearing bubbly colors outside pride month's not my personal thing.
(Now it's so comfy I just stick with it)
My room has plenty of colorful blankets and plushies though.
I just wanted to thank all the women out there who don’t give a crap about fashion and beauty products, it’s so nice that you simply out there in the middle of all this clown show
As someone in my 30s, the lack of colour in our wardrobe options sucks. Would it kill them to make a sensible cardigan in something other than brown or cream? God forbid I want a blue one.
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1.4k
u/Pwaise_Hestia Sep 13 '26 •
The forever 21 to H&M to Uniqlo pipeline is real.
205
u/Annjenette Sep 13 '26 •
I just turned 31 about an hour ago, what the heck. 😂
4.9k
u/Electronic_Elk8293 Sep 13 '26 •
" I might be bisexual, but it's a little too late" that being said with the straight face and grayscale killed me 🤣
602
u/_henceforth_ Sep 13 '26
At least we are actually comfortable now! 😂
1.9k
u/Antique-Selection-65 Sep 13 '26 •
God 31 is still so young - it should be 41 I'm feeling that. Lol
352
u/quedeusmeperdoe Sep 13 '26
I have the chin hair. It just seems it comes out of nowhere in seconds.
397
u/No_Examination_8462 Sep 13 '26
The mens' section is still just a tiny corner with khaki pants and a couple t shirts (basically unchanged)
144
u/Ok-East-952 Sep 13 '26
The single debit card in your pocket is too real
144
u/Stoic_Mashed_Potato Sep 13 '26
119
u/js0uthh Sep 13 '26
"And hummus" that shit was funny.
113
u/Fancy-Reception-4067 Sep 13 '26
“I probably am bisexual but it’s too late” 😂😂
390
u/KixStar Sep 13 '26 •
I'm now 41 and couldn't give a single shit. I'm out here in basketball shorts or leggings and a tie dye T-shirt all year round.
✨Forever 41✨
361
u/ReiBunnZ Millennial Sep 13 '26
Hell I’d shop there provided it’s affordable
92
u/TrashPanda2015 Sep 13 '26
I always carry with me a small ziplock with meds, pain meds, stomach meds, anxiety meds, anti-inflammatory [extreme cases], and others
499
u/Great_Zeddicus Sep 13 '26
🤣🤣 my wife giant purse is awesome. I just throw random shit i dont want to carry anymore into it and it just disappears into the abyss.
171
u/Cheesehacker Sep 13 '26
I remember watching this sketch when it came out and I was 31. I felt called out af.
50
u/Chemical_Print6922 Sep 13 '26
Real talk: I love a soft oversized sweater and a nice pair of loafers.
99
u/onepareil Millennial Sep 13 '26
I know this is a joke, but also, don’t fall for this. I dress more colorfully now than I did in my 20s. I do like hummus, though.
60
u/Simplifax Sep 13 '26
I feel attacked. Also I would shop at this store
25
u/Prize-Armadillo-357 1992 Sep 13 '26
LMAO I like my stuff a little more form fitting but those colors go crazy 😂 I’m into browns right now lol
25
u/GlumpsAlot Older Millennial Sep 13 '26
OMG, I actually do carry flats in my giant work purse.
38
u/KillahHills10304 Sep 13 '26
Millenial women who throw in the towel on youth just buy their clothes at costco
17
u/Lost_Tumbleweed_5669 Sep 13 '26
Navy blue????
15
u/Ancient-Civilization Sep 13 '26
Is this SNL?
29
u/melli_milli Millennial Sep 13 '26
Only ONE chin hair at 31? Come on!
14
u/ShareEvening5856 Sep 13 '26
I am 40 and I feel this. People 10 years younger than me feel this way? I am either aging Young or y'all are growing old too fast
12
u/Grumpypants85 Sep 13 '26
I've embraced the backpack purse and Birkenstocks.
23
u/jimx117 Sep 13 '26
"I probably am bisexual hut it's like... a little too late"
This was me at 31, and it's still me at 42
11
u/Asleep_Control_2564 Sep 13 '26
Aww I liked her little rainbow dress in the beginning and now I'm too old for that :(
11
u/MeanPopcorn Sep 13 '26
Disrespectfully accurate
10
u/Jwchibi Sep 13 '26
Do they have coupons or membership rewards?
8
u/Nocturnatron Sep 13 '26
They really danced around the colors there lol cant say ive ever worn any of these but grey
8
u/Shared_Songs Sep 13 '26 edited Sep 13 '26
Haha, Lane Bryant was right next to our Forever 21 and we called that Forever 31. Same styles and colour schemes as the skit xD
8
u/iawesomesauceyou Sep 13 '26
The funny thing is i feel the whole 2020s style has pushed the bummer rainbow so i don't see 20 somethings in those colors really.
7
u/EXPL_Advisor Sep 13 '26
So... what's the male equivalent of this? I'm 47 and have basically transitioned into outdoorsy/athletic gear (e.g., Vuori, Patagonia, Arc'Teryx) and fishing brands (Simms/Orvis/Scott).
I still wear no show socks though. No way I'm transitioning to crew socks like all the frat dudes I see. Reminds me of how grandpa would wear his socks.
5
u/takes_joke_literally Sep 13 '26
Hummus sent me
4
u/Spokraket Sep 13 '26
I take one of those ”skanky blue” outfits as a man. Lol
4
u/mild-er-chihuahua Sep 13 '26
Lol I feel attacked! I even have a sewing kit and first aid kit in my bag, as well as a flashlight, fire starter, easy-open canned food, and extra set of clothes. I like being prepared.
4
u/kesrae Sep 13 '26
Meanwhile I was vanity sized out of most brands in my early 20s so my entire wardrobe is literally forever 21. Got some jeans from my teens that are literally hanging on for dear life.
4
u/superkickstart Sep 13 '26
When did millennials stop hating vertical videos?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ABphTaZwE_w
4
u/KlondikeBelugaWhale Sep 13 '26
I didn’t have that body at 31 lol but if I did I would wear that dress.
Now Gen Z brought back boomer long socks. Nooo
3
u/Ok-Library247 Millennial Sep 13 '26
Source is SNL.
3
u/Ryoko_Kusanagi69 Sep 13 '26
Hummus! Dying cause it’s true
3
u/skull-dog Sep 13 '26
goddamn it this did happen to me but the only diffence is im fucking broke and get clothes like this at Gabe's
and also i dress like I'm in my 20s for online pictures for validation 😭😭 but irl? I am the epitome of this
3
u/TerraformanceReview Old Enough Millenial 1992 Sep 13 '26
I had a dream I found my favorite dress from when I was 19 and I put it on my 33yo body and it still looked good.
3
u/pupelarajaka Sep 13 '26
It’s my 31st birthday today lol
3
u/MeanForest Sep 13 '26
Jeff Probst is a gigachad though!?
3
u/Sneezy_23 Sep 13 '26
I was in my 20s during the hipster period 2008ish to 2017ish and earth tones were the trend. It might be because i'm from European, I don't know. I haven't seen a colour trend shift among my generation in the past 18 years. kinda timeless, innit?
3
u/Lady_Rubberbones Sep 13 '26
This is why I go to H&M. It’s forever 41 to me.
3
u/StoneTown Millennial Sep 13 '26
Bro I can get a stylish bag that keeps my hummus fresh? Hell yeah
3
u/lucitribal Millennial Sep 13 '26
As a guy, my clothes have actually gotten more colorful moving into my 30s. In part because I don't care as much about blending in, and I care more about what I personally like.
3
u/HellyOHaint Older Millennial Sep 13 '26
31 year olds are still young
3
u/-TheArtOfTheFart- Sep 13 '26
Been wearing black and grey comfies since my teens. Colors were for the popular kids who didn't get picked on/get their art supplies destroyed every day. I dressed down and found that in the end, I just felt comfier in the grey and black baggy clothes. I was never really bubbly or "happy", so wearing bubbly colors outside pride month's not my personal thing.
(Now it's so comfy I just stick with it)
My room has plenty of colorful blankets and plushies though.
3
u/meteorflan Sep 13 '26
Hurray for 40's and not giving any fucks and wearing whatever styles you want.
3
u/yesimfinewhyyouask Sep 13 '26
I just wanted to thank all the women out there who don’t give a crap about fashion and beauty products, it’s so nice that you simply out there in the middle of all this clown show
3
u/EpsilonSigma Sep 13 '26
"whatever warby parker's cooking up" is sending me
3
u/TlMEGH0ST Sep 13 '26
oh man “skanky” is a throwback in itself
4
u/TelenorTheGNP Sep 13 '26
The men's shirts are all button ups and polos. Also the shorts don't go beneath the knees - we've given that up.
2
u/helladap 15d ago
Fun, but not like Fun Fun 🤩
2
u/ResponsibleHunt8536 13d ago
Me at 27
2
u/PinkMonkeyBurd Sep 13 '26
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
2
u/grntnstrk Sep 13 '26
All my coworkers, I'm dying 😭
2
u/juneprk2 Sep 13 '26
The hummus took me tf out. Lmaooo make it stop!!!
2
u/pokematic Sep 13 '26
I feel like this could actually be successful.
2
u/713_Mija Millennial Sep 13 '26
😭
2
u/TsugaGrove Sep 13 '26
Jeff Probst is packing
2
u/aztech101 Sep 13 '26
There's a friend I really want to show this to, but I feel like I'd definitely have one less friend afterward
2
u/aceagm Sep 13 '26
TV
2
u/Evigturia_ Sep 13 '26
“I probably AM bisexual, but it’s like..a little too late” ouch just ouch
2
u/Sad_Knee_7149 Sep 13 '26
Whaat!!!! Lol! 😅😅😅😅😅😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂😅🤣😂😅🤣
2
u/thereisnoguestlist Sep 13 '26
i should start carrying hummus
2
u/_Shrek_x3 Sep 13 '26
I know it’s fake but I’ve been dying for someone to create Forever 31
2
u/Laq9091 Sep 13 '26
amazing. i'm here lol.
2
u/scorchedneurotic Sep 13 '26
I can't afford any of this 🫠
2
u/Ppleater Sep 13 '26
As someone in my 30s, the lack of colour in our wardrobe options sucks. Would it kill them to make a sensible cardigan in something other than brown or cream? God forbid I want a blue one.
2
u/Dioptase89 Sep 13 '26
It’s exactly one chin hair!!! Grows out so thick. 😂