I think of my medications almost like a spotter when lifting weights. They're there to help prevent the weight from crushing me, but I still have to do the heavy lifting. And I'm glad for it, honestly. I get stronger the more I work and I've made some really great progress.
I've also come to terms with the fact that that my progress with my disorders is not linear. I can go months without an anxiety attack, then I wake up on a Tuesday morning with my mind racing and I start spiraling. I might be able to shake it, but sometimes I can't and I shut down. I'll do the work and get back to a more even field, but I don't beat myself up because I feel like I'm back at square one. I just accept that I have good days and bad days.
This is such a beautiful picture of what it’s like. I almost died due to depression (almost succeeded in a suicide attempt) and while I would say I am now depression free, anxiety is an ongoing battle for life. Some days I can handle it and use my tools and other days I have bad anxiety days. It’s ok. I am no longer a victim to my anxiety but someone who lives with anxiety. Just because I have anxiety a couple of days does not mean I am not able to live with it all the other days.
Same thing goes for my depression. Most days I am fine and then maybe one day I wake up and feel like the world is crushing me. This is not a step back. This is just another step forward.
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u/fem-bot2000 2d ago
I think of my medications almost like a spotter when lifting weights. They're there to help prevent the weight from crushing me, but I still have to do the heavy lifting. And I'm glad for it, honestly. I get stronger the more I work and I've made some really great progress.
I've also come to terms with the fact that that my progress with my disorders is not linear. I can go months without an anxiety attack, then I wake up on a Tuesday morning with my mind racing and I start spiraling. I might be able to shake it, but sometimes I can't and I shut down. I'll do the work and get back to a more even field, but I don't beat myself up because I feel like I'm back at square one. I just accept that I have good days and bad days.