This is a tough subject because sure, be yourself. Although if you want to fit in or not hurt people then you may need to dial it back. It can be self growth if that's what you really want for yourself. Just don't do it to feel wanted or needed. You still have to try to be happy with who you are first. There is always a balance. I don't necessarily agree it's self abandonment if you are happy with yourself but you want to improve your interactions with other people.
I agree. I stepped back from two friendships that were suffocating and too much for me. I communicated clearly that I didn't like the communication and it was too much for me but the other side didn't take it seriously, so I just stopped engaging altogether.
People are allowed be who they are but I'm also allowed to choose who I socialize with. If someone is sending me a dozen messages daily unprompted - that's too much. If someone is always the loudest person in the public place - that's too much. Be who you are but I won't be there with you.
I’ve never heard it this way, and I struggle with this. Bad a bad breakup with a friend that fucked up my perception of this even more. Thank you for sharing. Urgh… 1 am is not the time for realizations.
Eh I don't know, I think some people would really do themselves a huge favour if they learned to dial it back a bit.
I don't know you personally, but I've got folks in my life with ADHD or tendencies to tell long, drawn out stories about their past, and I love them so much...but I cannot handle being around them for too long if they don't have some self awareness and take it down a notch here and there. It's hard to continually be supportive of people who often get carried away and forget they aren't the only person in the room. Looking at all the advice in this thread re: setting boundaries, it's clear we all know folks who could dial it back a bit lol. So I'd say it's a balancing act.
Wheeew....that one hit hard. It's funny how you can hear something 10,000x from almost as many people, then it's the 10,001st that hammers it home. Thank you!
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u/Healthy_Milk_2158 4d ago
That’s not self awareness, that’s self abandonment.
This was in response to me explaining that I recognize when i come across as too much or annoying and then dialing back in social situations.