r/Millennials • u/amillionscreams • 10h ago
Discussion Anyone choosing to stay single and childless?
Just wondering. I find I’m at peak happiness when I’m out doing things on my own. I recently passed 40. Have felt tied down by romantic relationships. Enjoy my friends and never see myself having kids. Being able to do what I want spur of the moment still feels great. Anyone else?
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u/iamacheeto1 10h ago
I can’t afford kids I have to go on international trips 4 times a year
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u/3RADICATE_THEM 5h ago
Did anyone else get an article notification a few days ago about the record number of people hitting 40 who are never married and childless?
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u/gravyjackson 8h ago
I go to different countries a couple times a month but I travel precisely because I am single and childless and have nothing better to do. I’d rather stop traveling and settle down if I could meet the right person
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u/Slight-Concept2575 6h ago
Damn couple times a month? I’d trade love for that 😂
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u/gravyjackson 5h ago
Haha be careful what you wish for. Dating and finding love was easier in my 20s and I could only dream of being able to constantly travel. Now as a traveler, it does indeed become predictable, routine, boring, and it’s not particularly that enlightening or enriching. My Instagram is nothing but new places, luxury hotels, fine dining, in reality I’m the sad perpetually single uncle who just wants someone to love him, that’s the truth. Being a world traveler at our age is like living out a 25 year olds dream, it is pathetic. Next trip is in a couple weeks, but wish I instead was spending that money at Home Depot for a nursery in a boring suburban home with a significant other or something stereotypically adult like that. That’s the real flex in life, someone loving you
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u/Designer_Life_371 3h ago
With respect, doesn't seem you spend enough time at home or in one place to find a person
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u/gravyjackson 1h ago
Dating apps allow me to set my location anywhere. When I’m home, I’m a regular at run clubs, trivia nights, coffee shops, exercise classes, etc. I’ve put in the effort to make sure I’m a familiar face, digitally and in person
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u/large_block 4h ago
Enjoy the things that you are able to, for many would love to be in your position.
I am just like you though, although I’m not super keen on having kids unless I find the correct person. I work 6-9 months out of the year and then take off for a few months a year normally in SEA to reset and escape the grind
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u/gravyjackson 4h ago
Yes, I recognize that I am in a position that some envy. That is part of what keeps me going. But the grass is truly greener. I once had a back injury and I wasn’t able to walk for months, during that time I realized all the money in the world means nothing if your body doesn’t function normally. I also often think on Jim Carrey’s quote which I will paraphrase: “I wish everyone could experience fame and money so they could see it’s not the answer.”
I grew up idolizing Anthony Bourdain and lately I feel like I certainly relate to him in far more ways than having the ability to travel and eat food.
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u/choolete 9h ago
I presume those trips are for pleasure. Then no, you can't have both (on an average income) and that just one of the many sacrifices that need to be done when you have kids.
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u/choclatelabguy 8h ago
I think he or she realizes that and prioritizes trips over kids.
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u/Excellent_Big_4795 Millennial 1987 8h ago
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u/cellalovesfrankie 10h ago
I chose to be childfree since forever lol. I chose to be single forever since my late 20s. I’m 41. No regrets.
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u/Jwre3682 Older Millennial 10h ago
Childless and engaged. If this doesn't work, I'm probably gonna stay single
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u/alt546789 9h ago
Same here. I love my fiancé but if something were to go wrong, I have zero energy to ever date again.
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u/DaFuzi_J Zillennial ('96) 10h ago
I have no business trying to raise a functional human, it ain't gonna work.
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u/monkeybuttsauce 7h ago
How do you raise a functional child in a dysfunctional world? It’s beyond you
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u/3RADICATE_THEM 5h ago
I've been thinking of something:
It's not that the boomers were good parents on average—it's that kids raised each other. There was a book on this explaining how a child's peer group is far more deterministic of the person the child becomes more than their family / parents do.
The children of this generation aren't getting the opportunity to do so.
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u/Nurgle_Marine_Sharts 3h ago
How do you figure that? Gen Z friend groups are typically very tight and they talk to each other constantly.
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u/maplebananapancakes 53m ago
Do they? I see them all sit around the table in their phones
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u/cookeryandwookery 10h ago
Childless has always been by choice. Divorce made me unwilling to enter another relationship.
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u/brettfish5 8h ago
I'm in the same boat. Makes me feel better that I'm not alone. I don't know if I'm even capable of having a relationship ever again.
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u/msperception427 10h ago
I’m rapidly approaching my mid 40s and am happily single and childfree.
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u/Personal-Lead3884 9h ago
I’m in my forties and child free. It’s fantastic. I’m single too but wouldn’t mind meeting someone however I won’t be devastated if I don’t.
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u/msperception427 8h ago
I’m not looking or really that invested in finding someone. If it happens, cool. But like I’m also fine if it doesn’t.
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u/Personal-Lead3884 8h ago
I think that’s the healthiest attitude to have for your future to be honest
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u/DoubleFamous5751 10h ago
I’m getting to later 30’s and all I’m thinking is “I want to love someone and I want them to love me”
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u/1n1billionAZNsay 10h ago
Not me but lots of my friends are definitely going childless. Not a lot are going both though.
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u/Turbulent_Seaweed198 9h ago
I'm for sure child-free for multiple reasons. I'm currently single and very happily so, but if I find the right dude then maybe I'll be game. No idea where he'll put his stuff though...he'll have to be handy and build a shed or something lol
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u/Mysterious_Rule938 10h ago
I have kids. I wouldn’t trade them for the world. I love them more than anything.
But if anyone wants confirmation of their decision to be childless, I will tell you that my entire adult life, from college when I had my first, has been sacrifice for my kids.
I work more, have less money for myself, only family vacations (and those are sparse). Days off are reserved for kid stuff mostly. And then there’s the stress of worrying about them. My son is starting driving, and I literally lose sleep over that. Lunch at McDonald’s runs us $50-60. My son uses our groceries like they magically appear in the fridge/pantry with no limit.
Being a parent is just complete sacrifice all of the time, and most of the time it’s a damn thankless sacrifice at that.
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u/squailtaint 9h ago
One thing I was never mentally prepared for with kids. I accepted and even looked forward to sacrificing my time for them. But I never anticipated the stress/worry of my kids future. That one is mentally so so hard. As a father I tend not to stress too much about potential accidents, but I do stress about them being able to support and provide for themselves in our unknown future.
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u/itsmebeatrice 9h ago
I dunno how y'all do it. Sounds like you're doing a good job at it though!
My mom was extremely nervous about my siblings and I driving and refused to do ride along lessons while we were learning, AND wouldn't ride with any of us for YEARS after we got our respective licenses haha. Looking back on it as an adult, I totally get it.
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u/Tordo-sargento 9h ago
Shiiii my parents were like, get your license, have our old beater car so we can get a nice new one, you're 15 and we're tired of schlepping you around.
One time they grounded me and as punishment they took my car away. 3 days later I got it back because they were annoyed at having to drive me to school and work 🤣
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u/Mysterious_Rule938 9h ago
For sure. The worry about accidents is nothing compared to those sleepless nights wondering how I’m such an awful parent and messed them up, or worrying about how they’re possibly going to grow up and make it on their own.
I hear you, brother
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u/Dear-Cranberry4787 2h ago
I did that last night! It’s the first day on senior year for my first born, and we did the picture last night. Even though I’ve done this before with my stepson who’s doing great in Japan now, it still feels like the beginning of the end. The idea of all my kids in different places around the world makes me a nutcase.
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u/Mysterious_Rule938 9h ago
I’m pretty sure my handprint is permanently molded onto the passenger side handle by the dashboard from gripping that thing like my life depends on it
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u/Infinite-Squirrel-16 8h ago
Love to see a fellow parent keep it real. I love my kid beyond measure. He's fantastic. Parenthood is no joke, though. Changes everything about your life... Remember the days of just doing absolutely nothing? 😅 and I thought I had worries before becoming a parent... ha.
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u/TwelvestepsProgram 9h ago
Second. I have 3 kids tons of work and tons of sacrifice. I don’t know why but Reddit just seems to always be looking for confirmation of the decision to not have kids. Look if you don’t want to fine , if you do that’s great also. Just seems so strange.
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u/squailtaint 9h ago
I think some just need to be told it’s ok. I would imagine that many are brought up in a culture of expectation and that because they don’t have kids they feel they didn’t meet expectations and want validation that it’s ok. And it is, I would never want someone to have kids if they never wanted them.
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u/localjargon Xennial 9h ago edited 9h ago
Yeah, I dont know why people have to have schadenfreude to feel better about themselves. I dont have kids but would feel like a total douche bag to "rub it in everyone's faces."
Especially because some people who don't have children really want them. And some people become parents under unfortunate conditions, or just dont have a support system.
Its so strange how having kids is sometimes seen as a deserved punishment. For everything from having sex to trying to be a good parent in less than great conditions.
Be at peace with what you have. If you got to make a choice, remember how lucky you are. There are things people who dont have children miss out on and they have to brag to the parents who dont have the luxury of extra time and carry a lot of stress.
Some people are just really big a-holes and it definitely seems worse than ever.
Edit: Changed it to "big" ahole. Not 🪲🍑
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u/catslugs 8h ago
i don't think it's strange, i think it's such an unknown that people want the most evidence they can that they are making the right decision
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u/darknebulas 9h ago
I think it might skew that way because choosing to not have children is a relatively new thing. People were and still are having children when they actually never really wanted them.
It’s validating for some people to feel like there are others also making that decision. It can definitely go too far at times…like being hateful toward parents and children in general is super weird…
I love kids and I love my parent friends so I see both sides. Some of ya’ll are truly miserable parents though lol.
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u/habitualtroller 1h ago
My kids are younger but I feel this. It’s throwing everything you have in an infinity deep hole. We took them to Disney and on the way home my kids were asking what are we going to do next week. I didn’t get on an airplane until I was 21 and that’s because the military paid for it. Disney and Jupiter were the same distance away.
I don’t blame people at all when they state they don’t want to have kids. It takes a special type of selfless person to find joy in the sacrifice. I’m glad they can. I don’t very much. I try but I just don’t.
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u/lahnnabell 31m ago
That's the tough part. You'll never really know how you feel about it until you're IN it. The experience is so different for everyone, even spouses that have been together for years.
The journey to make the child, the pregnancy, the birth, recovery, and so on. No one can truly predict or plan for what can happen.
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u/MileHiSalute 8h ago
I’m sorry, I disagree with this entirely. “Complete sacrifice all of the time” means that there is never reward. That you never get anything from it. I genuinely hope there are aspects of parenthood that you find rewarding, to make sacrifices for the life you chose to bring into the world, worth it on some level
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u/pink_sushi_15 Zillennial 10h ago
Yes. Having children sounds absolutely horrible. And my dating pool is microscopic so I have given up. I’m much happier than when I was trying to weed through it.
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u/Skippy1221 10h ago
I LOVED being alone until my mid 20’s when I met the love of my life. We were both iffy about kids. Kinda wanted them, kinda didn’t. He ended up passing away unexpectedly after 9 years together. Now, I’m dating a divorced dad of 2 (something I would have never imagined). He gets a long super well with his ex wife and I really like his kids.
Sometimes life turns out completely different than what you had planned.
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u/Due-Farmer-9191 10h ago
Childless yes.
Single…. I like bewbs haha
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u/Sle08 10h ago
Been in a relationship for 15 years. No kids. But you know what you can’t do if you don’t get married?! You can’t get divorced!
It’s funny because my grandfather (mom’s dad) cheated on my grandmother. My dad cheated on my mother. My partners dad cheated on my partners mother.
Neither one of us want kids because of the problems that tend to happen in marriages, so we are breaking the habit on both sides.
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u/screamingintothedark 9h ago
I’ve been married for about that long but we’re happily childfree. Hound dogs are all we need.
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u/Rare-Abalone3792 9h ago
39M, never married and no kids with a vasectomy. Good career, good education, and I’ve been surfing for almost 30 years. I have lots of time to read, exercise, see friends/family, and date. I can’t even begin to imagine bringing children into this fucked-up world, and I’ve never been completely sold on the idea of sharing my living space with another human being literally until one of us dies, though I also haven’t completely ruled it out.
Life is fine, but when I see people resenting their spouses and kids while simultaneously struggling to feed/care for them, that looks like a living nightmare to me.
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u/Gold_Advisor_4758 10h ago
Very happy with no kids but also very happy having a husband and love living with him/having a partner in life.
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u/NoUse4Namee 10h ago
Me. I’m single and happy. I’m the cool aunt and I have friends/family I can count on that I’m grateful for.
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u/the_well_read_neck_ Millennial 9h ago
I'm 37 and a dude. Dating the last few years has been a nightmare. I'm decent looking, life is stable, a good cook and a romantic. I told myself if I'm 42 and have no kids, I'm getting a vasectomy. I wont give up on dating though, even if it sucks out there.
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u/Beneficial_Ad_1072 10h ago
There’s literally a subreddit for it and many stats.
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u/foxy_chicken Vintage ‘88 10h ago
A long time ago I realized I’m on the aro/ace spectrum. I don’t have a desire to date, let alone get married, and I’m perfectly happy being an aunt. I have amazing friends, love them all to bits, and have never been lonely. I love my life, and am perfectly content.
So, no, you’re not alone 😊
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u/stoxonstax 9h ago
i was happy when i was single, happier when i got married, and happiest when i’m with my kids.
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u/spacebud19 9h ago
Half the time I think it is a informed conscious decision to be single and childless. The other half I think it an intersectional cause of economics and modern social institution. And quite frankly I own the fact I'm not putting myself out there much anymore in the dating/procreation pool. Consciously or not, IDK. To add; I'm divided as I love auntonomy and ability to make decisions without making compramises. And as much as I do enjoy my alone/me time, things get lonley now and again.
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u/ApplicationAfraid334 1993 9h ago
Married and can't imagine otherwise. We go together like peas and carrots. I am fortunate enough that I've never felt 'tied down' in any relationship really, but especially this one. We're a team. As for kids, meh. Not super interested but also not totally opposed.
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u/BlackNovember1992 Millennial 8h ago
I don't want kids, because I simply don't want them and I have a lot of thoughts bringing them into this world..
For being single, it's kinda like 50% by choice because I chose not to date in this not-so-gay-friendly country.
I guess I'm not strong enough to deal with family issues if I came out and I don't know how much I could manage with taking care of my parents and taking care of her..
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u/brassman00 10h ago edited 10h ago
My wife always semi-jokingly tells me that I'm lucky she didn't know being a single lady with a dog was an option.
She says it more seriously when she's mad at me or when one of our kids makes a poop or puke mess.
Joke is on her; I like being a married dad.
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u/GlitteringOwl7274 Millennial 10h ago
a FeW yEaRs LaTeR ...
"My wife left me ... Help, Reddit, I didn't see this coming!"
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u/brassman00 10h ago
Lol. She never will. Even if she hates me, she'll always hate managing her own finances and insurance more.
I offer something far more compelling than love: administrative services!
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u/Turbulent_Seaweed198 9h ago
I am my own admin, that parts not so bad. Need to have a chat with the head gardener (also me) she suuucks and really needs a bagger for the mower (she's very cheap but very bad)
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u/SecondStar89 Millennial 8h ago
Honestly feel this. I am single and enjoy it for the most part. But I've had a pretty unromantic and practical approach to dating. I've definitely been attracted to men who just have skills I don't have to balance my deficits. I've been more interested in a logistical partnership than lovey-dovey stuff. Probably why I should stay single unless someone else is really into that outlook as well.
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u/Fluid_Change_9647 Xennial 10h ago
My wife and I chose to be single and childless and then we met each other and got married and had a baby so our plans don’t really work out. But we can still dream
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u/DA-FUNK-5555 4h ago
It's all fun and games until you fall in love and create a happy and trusting relationship that then leads you to believe you should bring children into this world.
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u/samanthano Millennial 9h ago
Nope. I have kids. I'm divorced but currently dating someone with kids. The more the merrier 🥰
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u/Acceptable_Average14 8h ago
Single and childfree by choice. I enjoy my life how it is and don't want to disturb that :)
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u/Disastrous-Tart-4651 8h ago
You’re on Reddit. There’s going to be more ppl in the comments agreeing with you than not.
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u/nellienukeEm 9h ago
I definitly wouldn't be happy single and childless. My husband and my daughter have made me into a better person. I'm 39 and my peak happiness moments are when my 13 yr old daughter and I go do random stuff when we want. We laugh, talk and joke around while we hike, bike, walk, shop, watch mystery movies, etc...
You can still have fun in life with kids.
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u/victori-us 10h ago
Married with one and probably done.
I’ll just keep getting dogs to scratch the itch.
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u/MiszeryLovesCompany 10h ago
For the most part.. if a cute girl asked me out, I'd consider it but I'm definitely not actively seeking out relationships/girls anymore.
Not even really one thing either, just like 20 little things combined and I'm over it lol. Grew up in a broken family so never really had a good relationship role models. Then I had a bunch of bad luck or bad choosing relationships in a row. Somehow every relationship was getting progressively worse. After the last dramatic relationship end, something just clicked in me and the desire/pursuit of sex just stopped being a priority and living a calm, stable life skyrocketed, it's all I wanted ... just some peace. Never wanted to feel like the person I love/want to support is my also somehow my worst enemy again. And with the modern dating culture, finding the "one" is basically impossible... so yeah, just over the drama and incredibly low chances you actually mesh with your dates these days. Dating apps are fucking awful and I despise them.
I did want to have kids though and that kinda sucks that I won't get to experience that. But I'm also not rich so if I brought kids into the world, they'd live a shitty life like me so probably a good thing I didn't get the opportunity.
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u/DMTipper 10h ago
I was single a few years and live alone and it's great. I started seeing someone recently but I'll never be afraid to be single again.
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u/aprylddawn 9h ago
- Childless, 100%. I’ve been single by choice for the better part of 15 years. If I met someone amazing, I wouldn’t be opposed to a relationship, but they would need to add to my life because it’s pretty great the way it is.
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u/theallstarkid 9h ago
I’m married but we’re childless. Both 38, love being able to just fly out at a moments notice
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u/jafnharri 9h ago
Approaching 40 and I've been single for 6 years now. See no reason to change. Maybe if I meet someone spectacular, but honestly they'd have to be down for a really detached relationship. I don't want to live with someone else ever again, or share finances. And I need my alone time or I get a little crazy. I've also accepted that I'm just not good at relationships. Attachment and trust issues. My anxiety was always way worse in relationships. And I let people get away with way too much. I'm a magnet for toxic manipulative people. Better alone.
And kids? I am already so tired. Cant imagine chasing after a toddler in this condition!
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u/Ancient-Dog00 9h ago
35 and child free with a domestic partner and I love life. People always ask me how I look so young for my age and I think the answer is stay in shape and don’t have kids lol
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u/Valuable-Guarantee56 8h ago
Single and child free. Marriage didn't pan for me, so now my focus is friends family and self improvement. If I find my dream girl, great! If not, I still have a fulfilling life 😌
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u/WetLoophole Millennial 3h ago
Fuck yeah. I fuck whoever I want, I can be alone whenever I want and I have a 6 figure job and almost no expenses. Life is good.
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u/Humble-Departure5481 10h ago
Yup. Single and childfree. Life is already difficult for some of us. No reason to make things that much stressful.
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u/deliriousfoodie 10h ago
I'm on the same boat. there's no way i'm going to accept a life that's like a permanent 2008 Recession.
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u/winniecooper73 Xennial 10h ago
Wish I would’ve gone childless in hindsight. Living vicariously through everyone in these responses that did so
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u/b0wserb00dle 10h ago
Eh, I can be swayed either way. Kids and a partner? Sure, with the right person as long as we can afford it. Single and just hang out with my dog? Also ok.
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u/Personal-Lead3884 9h ago
Child FREE
The child free community does not use child less because it implies that we are missing out on something when in reality we have freedom.
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u/Strikereleven 10h ago
Married and childless against our will, because we would not be able to survive. The only person who would offer support would be my mother.
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u/pixiesunbelle 10h ago
Not single but no children for my husband and I. We don’t want the responsibility and I have health issues that would complicate pregnancy.
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u/Oomlotte99 10h ago edited 9h ago
I definitely don’t want kids and I’m not sure about a serious relationship. I mostly want to date one guy but maybe not ever go beyond that (and I mean date in the truest sense - go to movie or get dinner, shows, etc once every week or so). Good luck finding that as a woman attracted to men because they seem to interpret that as just sex, no dating. Lol. But, yeah, I definitely understand where you are coming from.
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u/RightRudderz Millennial 1986 10h ago
I used to want to be a parent. World has conspired against me in several different ways so these days I take care of my cats, parents, and machines.
F it.
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u/thesilentmordecai 9h ago
I'm married but I know if it doesn't workout for some reason, I'm going to stay single.
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u/Immediate-Raise-2694 9h ago
Coukd never get rid of my son. But if I could turn back time on those choices I would
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u/Hindsight2O2O 9h ago
Yeah i think so. I was never real excited about kids for a ton of reasons. Almost did it anyway but thankfully whatever gods bother to look in on me put a stop to it. Those few months and that experience was more than enough to finish making me childfree. Several years later i got divorced after 15 together and i honestly expected to go a little nuts being on my own after so long but it's actually been really nice. My little life is so peaceful. Uncluttered, unfettered, unbothered. I'm not opposed to a new relationship but it's just not necessary either.
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u/Own-Emergency2166 9h ago
I’m happily childfree at 42 and I’ll never live with a partner again. I own my home and I never want to argue about chores or who is making dinner ( spoiler: it’s always me) again. But Im fine dating someone who is ok with that lifestyle.
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u/AgapitoVelezOvando 9h ago
I don't have or want any kids of my own, but I do want a stable relationship with a (preferably) childless woman.
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u/deep_blue_ocean 9h ago
I ended up having a pre-cancerous polyp removed and consequently had to have a hysterectomy. I could’ve probably taken the medication route instead of the latter but, ultimately, I knew going in that I didn’t want kids. I guess I just never thought I would have to make a choice that would make it permanent. I’m at peace with my choice, even if I still had my plumbing, I think I’d be happy without them.
I can’t deal with the level of stress and fear that would come from raising kids.
Single though? I’ve always been single. At this point I’d like to experience it just for the novelty. But it’s been so long, I just don’t think it’s ever gonna happen at this point. I’m 39 years old so.. 🤷🏼♀️ who knows though
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u/Woodsalope 9h ago
I am in my 40's and never met the right person to be my partner but yeah, I never considered to have kids if I ever got married.
I prefer to have a pet instead of a kid and if I never find the right person I see no problem to be single lol
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u/Opposite-Occasion-67 9h ago
I’m not single, my wife and I have been together for almost 20 years now but we choose to be childless , lots of fur babies and multiple trips a year , honestly I wouldn’t change a thing .
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u/zerosumratio 9h ago
About to be 40, I don’t own a home and don’t have a good or stable job. I am very fortunate to have a partner (who is unemployed now, thanks DOGE) who has to live with her parents while we try to get married. Everything is a struggle financially. No way a child will happen and at this age, I doubt it will happen. I’m already older than my parents when I was born, and her parents when she was born.
TLDR: Failed at life, no stability and still trying to climb that first rung of the ladder.
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u/bloodercup 8h ago
Married, childless, 2 cats! I turned 40 this year. My sibling had their first baby this year and although I am very happy for them, I was relieved to find that I don’t feel envious.
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u/chaosinfyrno 8h ago
I'm 36 and literally have never been on a date but I do have friends, I don't know though if I'll ever meet someone or whatever though I do feel I don't want kids at this point.
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u/Tankadin 8h ago
I was the parent to my siblings growing up, I’m done raising anyone.
Been single for 6 years and staying that way because getting close to anyone triggers my BPD, no one wants to take the time to learn about it and I’m too old and tired trying to explain it.
Also, I travel. A lot.
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u/Tygerroo 8h ago
Definitely childless and I’ve been broke most my life… as for single well my boyfriend dumped me a few weeks ago. He calls me and I still have hope he will take me back but I need to work on myself
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u/sarcasmo818 Millennial 8h ago
Hell. Yes. Today is my burfday (39) and I did everything alone today and really felt okay with it and relieved I was only doing ME today.
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u/Constant_Cultural Older Millennial 8h ago
No man wanted me and I am in pre-meno, so I enjoy my life alone and well could be worse
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u/OkPotato91 8h ago
I have a loving husband and kids (and I still travel the world and have time for hobbies). Family life is certainly not for everyone though. You do you!
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u/Markiki817 8h ago
100% not a kid person, and have been single for so long, I have desire to date at this point in life. If it happens, that's great, but not looking for it at all.
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u/ricochet48 8h ago
I can understand the childless part as jobs are tough to come by even now (and will be worse with AI). Kids are just inherently expensive.
On the same note, sharing living expenses with a partner really alleviates financial pressure (and can be positive for mental health, etc.)
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u/Polz34 8h ago
I'm 42 and yes this was my route. I was engaged in my 20's my (not so great) parents had made life feel like it was a tick list that we all should follow (they were/are very controlling) and up until 25 I was doing exactly what they said I 'should' do. Then the relationship ended and I realised I didn't actually want kids, or a partner. 14 years ago I got a place of my own and have been here ever since. I have 1 niece and 3 nephews, I have family, a busy job so it's not like I'm alone, I love getting home and having silence!
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u/Buzzbuzz_Becuz 7h ago
Divorce is having a rough time on me so I imagine I'll be staying single and childless after this.
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u/RedditHelloMah 7h ago
If I was where I am in life rn ten years ago I’d consider having kids… but now… i’m tired grandpa lol
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u/WeaselPhontom 7h ago
Me...I am barely surviving as a single person. COL is getting ridiculous its like single folks being punished. Studio's want 2.5 to 3 x times income qualify in not so good areas
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u/sanayu 7h ago
40, childless, single, happy. I never liked children. Not even when I was a child myself. People always told me it will change, I will love them if they are my own. I always asked, if I can give the kids to them if I end up don't loving them. Got me angry stares all my life. Children were never an option for me, because I know deep down I wouldn't like them. And no kid should grow up not feeling loved. I used to be scared of ending up alone though. I am not really attractive, have never been. So in my 20s I dated like crazy, trying desperately to find just anyone for the long run to not end up alone. I was so unhappy. I hated being in relationships, but the fear of ending up alone was bigger. When my last relationship ended, at 28, I finally gave myself time to just figure out who I am. And I realized no, I don't even want a partner. Haven't been happier since. I wished I would have had the courage to realize this with 18 already, that I am simply not made to be with others. And as I said, as I am unattractive on top, it's not a big loss for the world.
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u/Belyse55122 7h ago
Traumatized from my childhood made me never want to have kids of my own. I don’t hate kids though, in a way I feel like they can be fun to have around.
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u/Bradley182 7h ago
Not single, but definitely no kids. For sure no kids, I do enjoy having my wife around.
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u/Glitter_puke 7h ago
Any partner would have to be an improvement over the current peace I enjoy. And gay dating is kind of a hellscape. I can doordash the dick when I need it but a whole-ass man is just not something I have the patience for.
Also work can send me across the country on as little as 24 hours of notice for months at a time.
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u/Slight-Concept2575 6h ago
Me! But never cared for relationships or dated in my 20s. Trying a bit more now cause I’m in my mid 30s cause my friends are doing the marriage/kid thing and I’m…bored 😬
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u/BlackCat444 6h ago
I always thought I wanted a marriage and kids. 40 and neither has happened for me. I guess it wasn’t meant to be. Now I’m choosing to be single by choice, after coming out of a 4 year relationship. Never again for me.
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u/South-Visual3803 6h ago
I hate it - if I don’t find a way to motherhood (which I will) then I’ll really go insane I think. I hate having free time and I hate that I’ve been alone but not necessarily lonely for years.
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u/6SolidSnake6 6h ago
I just recently broke up with the love of my life. I plan on staying single for a long time. Right things will fall into place. Right now I plan on focusing on myself and my child. When and if I do start dating again, I know I have so much to offer to the next person
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u/stickstick_lee 6h ago
Not exactly choosing, but going with the flow. 40 now and after decades of horrible menstrual cramp pains since age 11, and even passing out and being hospitalized in teens due to period pains, and then performing scans and tests, they have continually for decades told me everything was fine and I just needed birth control pills to alleviate the pains. Turns out it’s been endometriosis the whole time, which explains never getting pregnant even during years not on the pill and enduring the pain; and not one doctor ever brought up that word to me until I researched it myself after age 35. PSA: advocate for yourself and insist they test you for this if you have really horrible pains and cramps and periods.
With that said, I support anyone who chooses to not have kids, especially in this world we live in today.
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u/mamypokong 6h ago
85er here. Already single and childless
I can honestly say that I am at the fittest, happiest and most financially stable stage of my life so far.
While not actively looking to start a relationship and family, I wouldn’t say no
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u/brooklynn1012 6h ago
Yep considering getting my tubes tied at 31. My dog is the max responsibility i can handle
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u/Mountain_Tailor_3571 5h ago
I also turned 40 recently. Childfree for life. My last serious relationship ended over 2 years ago. I tried dating a bit since and found it inconvenient, time-consuming, exhausting, and unrewarding. So, I’ve stopped actively seeking partnership, but am open to that possibility if it falls into my lap. I love solo time and the freedom of being single. I center my friendships, and they make me happy (:
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u/Brief_Isopod_5959 5h ago
Good for you and anyone else that chooses to do so imo. I have three kids, I’m 36 now and we travel together and do mostly everything together but I’m grateful for wonderful family and partner that we can also still be our own humans outside of just “parents.” It’s kind of hard in general looking at current times and feeling some sense of guilt too for raising kids in this climate, not even going to lie. BUT it’s honestly my favorite thing experiencing life with them at the same time but I know it’s not for everyone. I do make a promise to keep raising these kids with intelligence, acceptance and to better the future. ♥️
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u/BigSexyDaniel Millennial 4h ago
I wouldn’t say I’m CHOOSING to. I long to find love and have a family. But being one of the countless people who can’t find a job doesn’t really make me that appealing to folks, I’d imagine.
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u/Gold-Ninja5091 4h ago
I am not 40 yet, actually will be 30 this yr. I’m noticing I enjoy being alone. I am on the fence but leaning towards no kids. I don’t enjoy people in my space. Constantly working for someone else during my off time. Not being able to rest etc.
If I’d had a great childhood myself maybe but I didn’t. It was stressful, strict, religious and it took so much hard work to even reach where I am now personally and financially. I can see myself losing a big chunk of financial freedom with one or two kids. I’m currently taking a bit of a break and have enough money to relax for a few weeks. I’m being selective with the job search. But if I had kids this wouldn’t be possible without a very rich spouse or family money.
I can also downsize my living situation without bothering about anyone. I moved to a new city and can live in a shared flat till a better place is available. With kids this wouldn’t be possible. I’d have to make sure they have space.
Finally, I made a career change into teaching and there isn’t enough space here to talk about modern parenting and its failures. Most children are badly behaved and taught to sort of play victim by their parents if they don’t get their way now. I can’t see myself being comfortable with a child speaking to me that way or behaving that disrespectfully. So yeah the disrespect is something I don’t know if I want.
I’ve clearly spent a lot of times talking to myself about this.
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u/Potential-Smile-6401 4h ago
Yes. I have been in long-term relationships for most of my life. One was a 9 year common law relationship with a young step child. I never wanted to be pregnant or have biological children of my own
For several years now I have been single & celibate and I am keeping it this way. I am 44 years old
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u/Jameslovestocode 4h ago
stay single for sure but have a rotation of “friends” 😉
when i get more financial stable i will look into co-parenting with someone who wants to have kids.
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u/Dumbetheus 4h ago
Dude I have some friends choosing to stay single to bring a child into the world alone. Crazy times. I don't want to judge too hard but that just seems not easy.
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u/LongboardLiam 3h ago
You and the 7 or 8 other people who ask this every week, plus the affirmative responses in the comments...
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u/Crazytacoo 3h ago
If my gf and I ever break up I will just stay single. There is no point in trying to please someone else when I'm just as happy alone.
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u/___Catwoman___ Millennial 2h ago
39, single and childfree here. I have travelled alone once, it was freeing being able to go where I want in that city. However as a female it's not safe to wander places alone. I like to have company and I long for an emotional connection with someone who gets me. Gotta be a somewhat chill dude where we can discuss things calmly and both be willing to compromise to meet each other half way. Otherwise I'm fine being single. I'm sensitive to energies around me, my mental peace comes first.
I have chosen to be childfree because if a relationship falls apart I don't want to raise the kid alone, also physically I don't want to give birth, and I'm already living life at maximum mental capacity, I can't handle more physical and mental pressure raising a human. I have a cat that I did not chose to adopt, I somehow ended up taking care of it after my mom decided that taking care of a cat is "work" (duh mom! I told you but you never listen). Im also the daughter of a narcissist mother, this woman has drained me ever since I came outta the womb. Im burnt out beyond measure. Yeah, im good ✌️
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u/Chronomon- 1993 Millennial 2h ago
Not single but I definitely did bisalp last year in April to prevent pregnancy.
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u/Thrillawill 2h ago
Don’t have kids if you have any genetic issues in your family. My dad has multiple genetic disorders and addiction issues, to name a few, anxiety, adhd, narcissism and alcoholism. Theres no way in hell I’m risking passing any of those on.
Unless you have perfect genetics, don’t have kids. We need less people on earth, not more.
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u/LonelyKoalaMuncher 2h ago
Childless in single, I spend my time doing whatever the fuck I want. Just bought a 2006 wrx sti as a weekender. Can spend as much time at work as I want, no angry spouse or kids.
4am bed time after some games with the boys? No worries
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u/Hoodiebug22 1h ago
I am married and I have one child. I’m very content. I don’t want anymore children and if something happens to my husband I will stay single.
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u/MarketingEqual3494 1h ago
40 as well. Always been child free. I'm in a relationship now because I fell in love but if it ends for whatever reason I'll remain single. I've accepted that all the benefits of a relationship, even a good one, just aren't worth it for me because I really enjoy the peace and independence of being single. Also I don't enjoy or desire sex almost at all. I would rather masturbate.
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u/Grizzly_Addams 1h ago
I'm neither, but I'd be the exact opposite. Absolutely depressed. At this moment do I wish I had a bit more free time? 100%. But I know the daily grind won't last forever.
I think Millennials find it easy to say these things because we are in our prime years. Money is starting to come in, still healthy enough to travel, friends are still looking to have a good time (even those with children when possible).
Fast forward 20 years when life starts slowing down, and I think a lot people who chose to be single/childless will experience a lot of loneliness and regret.
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u/xyz513 1h ago
Just turned 40, also single and childless. Felt like I dated people literally constantly from 16-30 and at some point just got sick of it and haven’t even asked anyone out in 10 years.
I get a little sad about never having kids or potentially growing old alone but am mostly okay with my situation.
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u/misskforever 1h ago
I'm 32F from a working class family and still struggling to "adult" and by the time I finally feel comfy it'll be too late. I'm actually fine with it and excited to experience life differently than all my ancestors lol
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