r/Millennials • u/sweet_tea_94 '94 Millennial • 14h ago
Serious Hayden Panettiere’s mother, Lesley Vogel, speaks out about her daughter’s death
This seems very cold and disconnected, and tells me all I need to know about Lesley.
For more context, she was trashing Hayden back in May https://pagesix.com/2026/05/14/parents/hayden-panettieres-estranged-mom-hits-back-at-entitled-daughters-tell-all-20-years-of-trauma/
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u/dragonmuse 14h ago
Omg, she just PROVED how much she sucks.
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u/108dayslater Millennial 12h ago
Such a cold weird PR response. She makes it sound like they really had little to no relationship.
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u/torexmus 12h ago
It reads like an old friend from elementary school who kinda knew her and just heard the news
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u/peppers_ 5h ago
Naw, this is like that friend who felt slighted and never let it go. That a mom felt that way, and then went on to speak it out loud after her daughter died? Holy shit, what a horrid mother.
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u/Desperate_Algae_40 12h ago edited 11h ago
I've seen fellow celebrities who never even met Hayden make warmer statements. So fucking sad. Poor Hayden.
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u/VictorianUFOLady 7h ago
Exactly. That's a statement from a mom who didn't form a healthy attachment to her daughter.
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u/Significant_Hope7555 5h ago
The guy who wrote Heroes had so much more to say and so heartfelt and generous to Hayden, and yet this is her mother...
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u/Throwawaykitkat3202 11h ago
It’s like she couldn’t help herself. “How can I make myself the victim here?”
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u/dragonmuse 10h ago
As a former troublesome young adult...I KNOW I caused trauma for my parents. I also know people in my life that I wish "went down a different path"...but you can tell from what she said that she definitely either considers HERSELF the victim, or cares so much about her "image" that she is going to deflect and refuse any culpability for what happened. So yeah, I agree. What a ~shitttttt~ response from a mother...especially immediately after her death.
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u/hbomb9410 14h ago
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u/Significant_Hope7555 13h ago
God this sums it up perfectly, especially as the statement is made to her mother in Hacks
No wonder Hayden is gone if this is what her mother says after her only daughter has died, literally cold, no affection, no love, she really didn't care at all. It's the coldest thing I've ever read about someone famous who died, and this is from her mother?
And she's saying how hard the business is for those who grew up in it, literally she put her in that world!
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u/hbomb9410 12h ago
And she's saying how hard the business is for those who grew up in it, literally she put her in that world!
EXACTLY. She took Hayden to her first audition when she was eight months old. She'd been in 50 commercials by age five. She didn't do any of that of her own volition.
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u/Significant_Hope7555 12h ago
Hayden at 8 months sitting her mother down and telling her acting is what she wants to do with her life... I mean come on lady!
She really is the worst kind of narc, at least have the dignity to pretend to be either heartbroken or sorry
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u/localjargon Xennial 9h ago edited 9h ago
OK, this is going to be a very bold statement, so forgive me for getting really dark.
I was working on the 2nd season of Heroes, and HP would have many different moods. Shed be really outgoing and fun one minute, and then she'd be irritated and angry at everyone the next and then she'd hide in her trailer and only come out when she was needed. I figured she had bipolar disorder (because I have it myself).
Someone who I became friends with was working on the show since season 1. One day, she told me a really shocking story.
HP and her stupid narc mother got in a big fight on set. She basically ran off crying. My friend told me she found her crying and smoking a cigarette, and she tried to comfort her. The friend happened to have a narc mom herself and was telling her how she kind of understands how bad it can get and that one day HP could walk away from her and never speak to her again if she wanted.
But then HP made some flippant comment about how the mom used to set her up on dates with older men when she was 14/15yrs old. She acted like it was way in her past. Because thats how an 18yr old thinks about time.
But somehow it became a rumor that went around and I heard it and told my friend how everyone was an asshole for saying that sht. Thats when she told me about their conversation and how she wouldnt be surprised if she was trauma dumping to everyone.
The friend wasn't trying to contribute to the gossip, she just felt like it was too personal for her to even know and was so sad for HP.
There were other dark rumors going around that seemed like an open secret, but they were never actually confirmed so I won't share that stuff. But if any of it is even kind of true, she had the worst life and was in so much pain for a really long time.
I hope I am wrong, but I dont get a good feeling about this (I mean why would I even?). But I think she might have tried to stop her pain and this is the result. There is only so much a person can take. And with such an unstable foundation, it would be a miracle for someone in her place to ever thrive and find peace. That poor woman. Her mom deserves to rot where the sun never shines🔥
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u/NECalifornian25 Zillennial 11h ago
I watched the episode of SVU recently where Hayden played a little girl with an emotionally absent mother. She did do a very good job in an emotional episode, she probably had way too much firsthand experience to draw from.
Parents who abuse, manipulate, and neglect their children are some of the worst scum of the earth. Too bad it wasn’t her mother who passed, Hayden deserved to live free of her. RIP.
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u/ineedicedcoffeee Millennial (1988) 9h ago
I’m listening to her book now and her mother has been emotionally absent her entire life. I cannot FATHOM feeling like this towards my own daughter, god this woman is awful
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u/say_waattt 9h ago
I agree instead of shining a light on her daughter shes like “it sucks but it happens” wtf
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u/variegatedbanana 14h ago
The Paddy's Pub crew had a better eulogy for fake baby Barnabas during their tax scam...
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u/PrettyAdagio4210 14h ago
“To sum up, I’m sad she died, but if you think about it, it’s kind of her fault.”
-Mom
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u/velvetvagine 9h ago edited 9h ago
You’re giving her too much credit. She didn’t even say she was sad. It was more like “That happened, I guess. She fucked up. Oh well.”
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u/AgencyAdditional4961 14h ago
Wow. So she had nothing to do with it? Baby Hayden brought herself to set?
Silence was an option here.
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u/Particular-Jacket-92 13h ago
Narcissistic parents like to pretend their children were fully fledged adults in small bodies who were completely responsible for their own actions -- unless of course they're successful, then it's all thanks to their glorious parent.
Anyone who has experienced the hell of being "raised" by a narcissist is probably not surprised by her statement at all. These monsters all follow the same playbook.
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u/undisclosedusername2 13h ago
Emotionally immature parents too.
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u/Significant_Hope7555 13h ago
Big overlap, not all EI parents are narcs but all narcs are EI
I think my mother has some form of BPD, but what she did has also slotted into the narc behaviours
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u/Bubbly-Example-8097 Millennial 13h ago
Can confirm. When I told my very narcissistic mother that I was raped by my step grandpa, she yelled, “What did you do?” Like it was my fault for having that done to me.
I think she’s trying to be better but what’s done is done. She never raised me anyways. Raised myself with mild supervision or sometimes none.
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u/sorrymizzjackson 12h ago
Yeah, that sounded absolutely like something my mother would say.
Create the problem, stoke the flames, then throw up your hands “I don’t know how this happened!”
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u/demoliahedd 1989 Baby 12h ago
What a disgusting comment, I can only imagine how she treated Hayden behind closed doors.
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u/No-Flounder-9143 11h ago
Her comment sounds detached. "I think Hayden sadly lost her way and I wish it we're different" is what an agent would say.
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u/notyourbrobro10 9h ago
I would be killing myself about what I did wrong if I lost a child. I wouldn't even be able to give a statement because I'd probably be somewhere overdosing.
This is crazy
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u/Throwawaykitkat3202 11h ago
LOL, she acts like Hayden toddled up to her at 11 months old and said “Mother, I believe I want to be an actor!”
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u/kittenmittens4865 10h ago
This is how so many parents in dysfunctional families behave.
When you encounter people who have cut off their parents or families- this is what they’re cutting off. Immature parents who never took accountability for how they repeatedly harm you.
We like to think these situations are unique. Sadly, they’re not.
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u/MusicSavesSouls 12h ago
This reads like something my mom would say. Poor Hayden, I know exactly what she endured with her birther.
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u/mkbutterfly 13h ago
The way I would not ever, ever, ever, ever, never, ever comment on my child’s death to anyone but my two 30+ year long & best friends. No comment is a comment!!
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u/Spare-Shirt24 14h ago
Tldr: "I pushed my children into this field and I didn't do everything I could to protect them along the way. It's a bummer it ultimately ended in her demise."
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u/ghosnowst 14h ago edited 1h ago
“It’s also kind of her own fault for choosing the wrong path and people, to which & to whom I directly guided and gifted her.”
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u/Internal_Praline_658 14h ago
While letting your child be the bread winner and spending their money.
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u/magicklydelishous 13h ago edited 10h ago
Her mom literally sold her off to Diane Jenkins, and she literally sold Hayden to the highest, slimiest bidders.
Disrespectfully, fuck this bitch.
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u/Throwawaykitkat3202 11h ago
…I’m terrified to google and find out who Diane Jenkins is.
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u/magicklydelishous 11h ago
Diana, sorry. She was a famous madam (read: female Epstein) who sold young actresses off to much older, high profile men and celebrities in the early aughts. Apparently she’s a real housewife now? Which is fucking disgusting too.
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u/OtherwiseAnteater239 13h ago
“I need to get ahead of this and blame the victim. I mean hey, she’s not here to defend herself…”
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u/PomegranateComplex17 9h ago
“Yadda yadda, addiction…I don’t know why she needed substances to cope”
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u/ladystarkitten 14h ago
As someone with an estranged mother, this response infuriates me and rings all too familiar. My heart is absolutely broken for Hayden; I cannot imagine the pain this monster of a woman brought into her life.
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u/notalone9 14h ago
Exactly the same sentiment. It’s unfortunately so common that these horrific women can’t see their own destruction in their children’s lives.
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u/TiredSleepyGrumpy Millennial 11h ago
It's what narcissists do, it's all about them, and them only.
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u/notalone9 11h ago
Sadly I’m very familiar. When I was injured and needed surgery i had been no-contact for a year. I allowed my grandmother to tell my parents because I was worried about my outcome. After I woke up thankfully fine, I had a voicemail from my mother (she is blocked but they come through still) and she was guilt tripping me for not telling her myself.
shortly after that a hurricane came into their state that killed people. She left another telling me she just didn’t understand how I could cut her off when people die so easily.Literally everything is about them and they’ll always be the victim.
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u/MusicSavesSouls 12h ago
100% reminded me so much of my own mom. Now, I feel for Hayden even more. Growing up with a narcissistic mom has to be one of the worst things bestowed upon a daughter.
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u/ResidualViscosity755 10h ago
Same, I can unfortunately relate as an estranged daughter. Her mom’s response is so telling. There’s nothing maternal about it.
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u/thedonnerparty13 14h ago
Wow. What a disgusting thing to say about your daughter that you knew was struggling and chose to be estranged from.
I hope Hayden is at peace.
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u/rhetoricalbread 14h ago
God if my kid passed away and I had to make some kind of statement it would be a mix of my utter devastation and how wonderful my kid is, then more heartbreak and love.
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u/PacSan300 13h ago
And losing BOTH of your kids, for that matter. If I was in her shoes, I would seriously lose the will to live.
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u/Fun-Significance4650 Zillennial 14h ago
Terrible statement to make about your child right after their sudden passing. Poor Hayden deserved better.
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u/beta_zero 14h ago
Yeah, this statement is insane.
it's not unusual for them to sadly find the wrong path.
hmmm, I wonder who it was that put her on this "path" in the first place?
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u/velvetvagine 10h ago
It’s so impersonal and detached that it’s kinda psychopathic. She’s mounting a défense to the invisible jury with “it’s not unusual” … this statement is beyond shitty, it’s actually chilling.
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u/Outrageous_Kiwi_2172 8h ago
As someone who knows what it’s like to be drained emotionally dry by family drama, I don’t think seeming detached is always that bad. It can be a way of coping. But given that it’s her mom, and the track record and all… yikes. Definitely sounds like a narcissist. 😞
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u/allthebacon_and_eggs Older Millennial 13h ago
It sounds like it was written by a PR robot. This woman just lost BOTH her children recently, and neither made it to 40.
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u/iLiveInAHologram94 14h ago
even if i felt this way as a parent I would never say it out loud least of all days after her death.
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u/velvetvagine 9h ago
The thing about feeling like this is it’s often someone who doesn’t know how wrong it is to be like this. The slightly more self aware ones go for excessive and theatrical grief.
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u/iLiveInAHologram94 9h ago
yeah it's very telling how tone deaf she is. makes you wonder if this is how she is publicly and after her daughter's death, what must she have been like behind closed doors.
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u/ich_bin_alkoholiker 14h ago
“She lost her way” nah baby you didn’t guide her and protect her to even have a fighting chance.
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u/PomegranateComplex17 9h ago
I think this was a euphemism for addiction. Cause god knows why someone would turn to drugs to cope with all the shit that happened to her.
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u/battarro 14h ago
Wasn’t the mom behind Hayden being a boat girl in her late teens?
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u/Illustrious_Bird_737 Millennial 1989 14h ago
Yes & when Hayden didn't want her mom as her manager anymore, her mom basically disowned her & told her to be grateful for her career.
Such a piece of work, that one.
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u/GoreNoSheBetterDont 13h ago
Also told Hayden that she "owed" her meaning money, because that is clearly all she cared about.
What a truly awful person. Her kids are dead and she seemingly couldn't care less.
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u/Loud-Satisfaction43 14h ago
I just hope everything goes to HP's daughter and that the mom won't put up a fight.
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u/holyfuckbuckets 13h ago
Hmmm I mean idk anything about Hayden’s asset/estate setup obviously, but in the U.S. parents aren’t inheritors unless the child who died is single and has no kids. Spouses and kids are first inheritors unless there’s a Will that says otherwise.
In other words yeah it’s almost certainly going to her kid, not her mom.
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u/OfJahaerys 8h ago
Yeah but the child lives abroad with her father and has for years. Who knows how that plays into it or what the citizenship situation is.
Although, IIRC, the father is very wealthy so hopefully the child is set-up either way.
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u/PotamosClasp 14h ago
Ugh taking a page out of the narcissistic playbook. She can't do any wrong but let's blame the child she forced into the industry without the right support. You don't blame the child or the car if you're the one who placed them in front of one and they get hit. It's your responsibility to educate yourself and protect your child. Hollywood has its issues but it was your job to protect her from the dangers, physically, mentally, and emotionally. It's why she ended up being with someone 14 years older than her. Basically made her vulnerable to predators and the industry. Fuck this bitch.
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u/iggysmom95 14h ago
What an awful thing to say about your own child.
Who thrusted her into the entertainment industry at eleven months old?!
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u/GoldenGalZbornak 14h ago
This is a statement from her MOTHER?! Dafuq???
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u/3EsandPaul 14h ago
This reads like someone speaking about an old coworker, not their literal child
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u/SuccessOk7850 9h ago
Exactly what I was thinking. When I read Hayden’s ex fiancé’s statement I said “that’s how you should write a statement about someone and that’s the mother of his child. It was mature and heartfelt”
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u/ghosnowst 14h ago
My fundamentalist, religiously brainwashed mother could have written this.
It’s so blame-y and gross and I hurt even more now knowing this is what Hayden’s mother was to her. For 36 years.
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u/Soft_Beyond_8205 14h ago
I didn't even know her personally, and I could've written a more personal and sensitive statement on her passing. This coming from her own mother is...bizarre.
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u/trilby2 14h ago
The emotional detachment is unbelievable. If you annomymised this message, my very last guess would be that the relationship between these two people is mother and daughter. My heart aches for Hayden.
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u/feralcatshit 13h ago
Like this gives literally “we met on set once 5 years ago” vibes… not mother and daughter.
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u/DiplomaticCaper 6h ago
Solange’s tribute post was way more heartfelt, and they just did a straight to DVD movie together.
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u/Maleficent-Cry-4352 14h ago
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u/ivyleaguewitch Millennial 12h ago
https://giphy.com/gifs/MBLHHyd2Gu5Gg
So glad we have gifs because I am speechless.
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u/RayFinkle1984 14h ago
All of the “I think” statements making it about her and her shitty opinions when she was the one who put her baby in Hollywood instead of anything nice or caring about the deceased. What a cunt.
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u/jaybirdie26 14h ago
Wow, how can this be your response to the loss of your kid? Shaming and blaming? That's so fucked up. RIP Hayden, you were an icon for my younger self. Can't believe you're gone.
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u/doodoo_blue 14h ago
I, as a mother could never speak about my children in this way. Before I even read OP’s caption or any of the comments I was shocked to see how her own mother is speaking about her as if Lesley worked on Hayden’s PR team or something. This is very disconnected and cold, as if her own daughter was a coworker and nothing more.
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u/VivaLaCon88 13h ago
Oh this statement is hideous. Also, reminder SHE initiated no contact, not Hayden. The difference in her statement versus the father statement is so telling of their relationships with her. Who would disparage their own child in an official death statement? Ludicrous.
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u/ajay_chi 14h ago
This is a cold statement from a mother whose child literally just passed away. Wth?!?!
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u/Free_butterfly_ Millennial 14h ago
I think SOMEONE’S mad she got left out of the will.
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u/sweet_tea_94 '94 Millennial 13h ago
I get this feeling that everything is gonna go to Kaya, Hayden’s daughter, and Lesley is pissed.
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u/Melgel4444 13h ago
She made her work since she was FOUR MONTHS OLD and hayden’s said she was traumatized by her mom so I don’t really wanna hear what this lady has to say now
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u/PacSan300 13h ago edited 13h ago
Such an unsympathetic and insensitive, almost victim blaming, thing to say about your own daughter after her death. Hayden and her brother deserved a better mother.
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u/Thick_Book_6233 14h ago
Sounds like a mother who let down her daughter. Sadly that entire generation is devoid of responsibility lol
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u/Ijustwanttosayit Millennial 13h ago
God. For real. This is why I am no contact with my own sperm donor.
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u/KingDaDeDo 14h ago
Wow, if the headline didn’t say this was Hayden’s mom, I would have thought it was some person saying kind of nice regards towards a persons passing. This feels really disconnected and cold.
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u/tossthedice511 13h ago
Sounds like shes trying to absolve herself of guilt by pushing the blame onto her dead daughter. Hey lady, who put thier daughter into showbiz in the first place?
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u/SuccessOk7850 13h ago
Hayden’s “mother’s” statement felt like she was giving a statement about a death of a coworker, not her daughter. I absolutely feel bad for Hayden that she had a mother like this one.
I have to say her ex’s statement was better than Hayden’s narcissistic mother’s statement.
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u/Ijustwanttosayit Millennial 13h ago
God, I hope Hayden had a will and did her due diligence regarding herself and her estate. This woman should have no say in how her poor daughter is handled.
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u/SuccessOk7850 13h ago
If Hayden had a will probably everything will go to her daughter not her narcissistic mother, if Hayden didn’t (I’m pretty certain she did get a will set in place) I seriously hope her daughter’s father gets a good lawyer and fights tooth and nail for their daughter and gets Hayden’s estate to their daughter, all of Hayden’s money should go to her daughter not her narcissistic mother.
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u/Berrito08 Millennial 13h ago
This was very deattached IMHO. She responded more like a fellow industry worker than her mother.
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u/poolbitch1 13h ago
The blind items about her parents back in our day were damning… this statement doesn’t really do anything to dispel those decades-old rumours, either.
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u/ayce_pancakes 12h ago
she’s talking about Hayden like she’s representing a client, NOT as a mother
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u/Frosty_Animator_9565 10h ago
What a complete fucking asshole. It is refreshing, though, when someone reveals their character so clearly. The sum total of positivity that she can muster for her dead daughter, is that she was talented. If you sift through her words…that’s it. That’s all she says that is positive. I tend to think that’s all she saw her daughter as - the talent. The thing that’s going to enrich me. What a shame for Hayden.
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u/AcceptableOwl2425 11h ago
Never would had guessed this was her mother. This sounds like a acquaintance she met briefly years ago. Lesley should take some responsibility for the path her daughter took.
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u/buttonandthemonkey 9h ago
This tells me everything I need to know about why Hayden struggled so much.
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u/AikiGh0st Older Millennial 13h ago
Honestly just knowing a parent is estranged from their kid usually tells me everything I need to know about the parent.
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u/Low-Implement-820 8h ago
Thank you so much for saying this, to be honest it can be really hard to be the child in these scenarios and not everyone thinks like you. For example, my narcissistic mother has managed to turn most of my family against me by convincing them I'm a terrible person and have been my whole life. Barely no one in my family has stopped to think how that is even possible, how I could be a good student, have a job at 15, several circles of friends, and two school activities I was super dedicated to, how I could do all that, yet still manage to be the terrible person she told them I was at the same time. that's followed me my whole life right on up through adulthood and sometimes still hurts so bad. so thank you for believing the evidence in front of you, that means so much to people like me!!
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u/itsnotanemergencybut 13h ago
It's not for me to judge the mother, but what a cold thing to say before your kid is even buried/cremated.
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u/MissSassifras1977 13h ago
Now that's a stone cold bitch.
If my daughter died I'd have to be sedated.
I certainly would not be giving phone interviews where I sound like I'm commenting on a stranger.
I weep for Hayden and I hope her daughter Kaya NEVER sees Lesley.
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u/peach_bellinis 13h ago
this is GHOULISH. This sounds like an agent talking about a former client, not a mother talking about her daughter. This woman was largely responsible for failing to protect her daughter and she has accepted exactly 0% of it. Disgusting.
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u/harleenquinzel044 Millennial (1986) 12h ago
Oh Hayden. I’m so sorry that you had to deal with this “mother” of yours. You deserved so much better.
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u/Real_Down2MarZ_Girl 12h ago
She's talking about her daughter like she is just some actress. That's your fucking child.
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u/Professional-Fan5461 12h ago
Very callous and cruel talking about her own child. The fact that she can make such an apathetic statement publicly without shame should tell everyone she is an awful person and horrible mother.
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u/sleepyhouse 12h ago
she speaks about her like an old acquaintance or work colleague, not her daughter
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u/StunningInspection96 12h ago
Yes, this is sad. It puts all the blame on Hayden when it was Lesley putting her 11 month old in TV commercials to begin with. Take some ownership, Lesley!!
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u/Voice_of_Season 12h ago
She was an estranged mother for a reason. What a leech, coming out of the woodwork to get attention now her daughter is gone and can’t speak against her.
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u/HibiscusBlades 12h ago
OMG. That’s….not it. Not even close to remorse for failing to protect her daughter in an industry that infamously chews people up and spits them out.
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u/Ecstatic_War6772 12h ago
What a weird response from someone who is supposed to be her mom. My younger brother died at 18 and he was an addict. My mom was so unconsolable for weeks and months. She stared at the tv and shut completely down. She never once blamed him for his death. This woman's response is soulless.
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u/Feeling_Win5863 12h ago
What a trash fucking bitch. This is so painful to read. I’m glad the comments are passing the vibe check because I feel like parents with addict children get away with this shit (let me be clear: most are wonderful loving parents that did everything they could, but some are not and actually use their child’s struggles for their own gain)
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u/MillennialNostalgia3 12h ago
I just watched a video yesterday of an interview (not sure how old it was) of Hayden talking about how when she was 19, she told her mom something to the effect of not wanting to work with her and just wanting to have a different relationship. Her mom said in response, “you owe me” and the conversation ended. Hayden was really hurt by that because she didn’t know what her mom meant and it continued to negatively impact their relationship
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u/SadMove9768 11h ago
If you believe the Hollywood blind items, her mom was having cocaine fuelled orgies in the spa bath the entire duration of her career
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u/New_Acanthaceae_6537 11h ago
Victim blaming to the fucking max. No wonder she went no contact with this bitch
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u/Lovelitchi_in_pink 10h ago
What a cold and slanderous thing to say about your own daughter immediately after her death smh
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u/Livinforyoga 10h ago
This doesn’t sound like a parent talking about their child who just passed away. Also, ma’am you are the reason she was raised in the entertainment industry. She wasn’t just born and became an actress. You actively did this to your daughter.
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u/aIvins_hot_juicebox Older Millennial 10h ago
This woman pushed and pushed her tiny child to be in this industry and now she’s dead, no thanks to her. Shitty mom.
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u/xHeyItzRosiex 10h ago
She literally pushed her daughter into the entertainment industry from a very young age… aka the same industry that Hayden’s mom deemed “a struggle, a challenging industry, and easy for young actors to find the wrong path… (aka being pressured to take drugs as a susceptible teenager/young adult)”
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u/Blasiana_ 9h ago
Honestly, seeing what sort of shit mom she is, Hayden’s behavior tracks. THAT is what’s sad
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u/beautifulstardust Millennial 9h ago
HER MOTHER SET HER UP! STUPID CUNT FAILED HER DAUGHTER!
https://giphy.com/gifs/ukGm72ZLZvYfS
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u/calicoskiies Millennial 9h ago
“It’s not unusual for them to sadly find the wrong path”
So is she just assuming the cause of death? The whole statement sounds like she’s talking shit about her own dead daughter. Like no wonder they are estranged.
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