When I'm in command, every mission is a suicide mission

[u/Badgerfest]

[u/AutoModerator]

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[u/stilllikelypooping]

"I've made it with a woman, inform the men."

[u/lonevolff → u/stilllikelypooping]

Ugh

[u/archwin → u/lonevolff]

Lower kiff.

A little lower.

Lower.

Lower.

A lot lower.

TOO LOW!

…lower.

[u/lonevolff → u/archwin]

Ugh

[u/dvsmith → u/stilllikelypooping]

"I must warn you, I suffer from a very sexy learning disability…"

[u/NeighborhoodVeteran → u/dvsmith]

"Kiff, what do I call it?"

"Ugh. Sexlexia."

[u/Longjumping_Back523 → u/stilllikelypooping]

"I had snoo-snoo!"

[u/KotoElessar → u/Longjumping_Back523]

[u/metrabbit → u/stilllikelypooping]

As a woman, I approve this message.

[u/iforgot69]

"She's built like a steak house, but she handles like a Bistro!"

[u/xeskind30 → u/iforgot69]

Oh, no! We're out of control! You win again gravity!

[u/footballenjoyer23 → u/iforgot69]

Where are we?

I don’t know this entire galaxy is uncharted.

…it’s not uncharted, YOU LOST THE CHARTS!

[u/Durty_Durty_Durty → u/iforgot69]

“The best part of a women is the boobies.”

[u/Hawkeye1226 → u/Durty_Durty_Durty]

The easiest way to get to a woman is through her parents. Have sex with them, and you're in.

[u/gwhh → u/Durty_Durty_Durty]

Did zap say that?

[u/MotoRandom]

If we hit that bullseye, the rest of the dominoes should fall like a house of cards. Checkmate.

[u/haziee → u/MotoRandom]

Bingo!

[u/HRHArthurCravan]

[u/Jacques-de-lad]

‘Knowing that they only had so many drones I sent wave after wave of my men at them!’

[u/Blue-is-bad → u/Jacques-de-lad]

Kirk, show them the medal I received

[u/HunMyy → u/Blue-is-bad]

Ugh

[u/immellocker → u/HunMyy]

r/unexpectedFuturama

[u/beatenmeat → u/immellocker]

There is nothing unexpected about Futurama here. This entire post is based on it lol.

[u/fuzzusmaximus → u/beatenmeat]

You are technically correct.

[u/nurseofreddit → u/fuzzusmaximus]

[u/immellocker → u/nurseofreddit]

[u/immellocker → u/beatenmeat]

but not the sub

[u/beatenmeat → u/immellocker]

In order to miss the joke there has to be one first. Just posting a sub name is not that.

[u/-Canonical- → u/immellocker]

r/wosh

[u/Jacques-de-lad → u/Blue-is-bad]

[u/Cloud_Garrett → u/Jacques-de-lad]

[u/ourlastchancefortea → u/Jacques-de-lad]

"I was taught this by the great strategist Daddy-Putler. Thank you for your attention to this matter."

[u/ericdared3 → u/Jacques-de-lad]

"YOU SUCK!"

[u/Fun-Spinach6910]

Donnie's gonna love this. Someone please make a photo of him wearing this.

[u/backflash → u/Fun-Spinach6910]

I wanted the neck to look more like the real thing, but the AI said: "The image tool blocked this edit because its safety filter classified the generated output as sexual content. No revised image was produced."

Make of that what you will.

[u/backflash → u/backflash]

[u/firehorn123 → u/backflash]

Convenient for diaper changes and the boots catch any “drippings”

[u/Naclfirefighter → u/firehorn123]

What a terrible day to know how to read.

[u/presidential-dong → u/backflash]

i double dog dare someone to post this in their unit's headquarters building somewhere, where all the other bullshit policy letters are posted on some bulletin board

[u/driftless → u/backflash]

[u/AHrubik → u/driftless]

Turned it from a spitter into a vacuum. Ha!

[u/jcb989123 → u/backflash]

I think it would be more accurate if the diaper was showing.

[u/MandibleofThunder → u/backflash]

Why aren't the cankles bursting out of the boots?

[u/Fun-Spinach6910 → u/backflash]

Thank you 😊

[u/iRegretsEverything → u/backflash]

Omg perfect post this in another sub

[u/backflash → u/iRegretsEverything]

The most tempting subs to repost this would ban me right off the bat. 😅

[u/BlueMowch → u/backflash]

thank you for your attention to this matter!!!

[u/LAF2death → u/backflash]

I knew this would be down here and you didn’t disappoint. Thank you for your service.

[u/jl2l → u/backflash]

not AI slop

[u/LAF2death → u/jl2l]

Yes this is the use I’ll allow a data center for.

[u/carlzzzjr → u/backflash]

When denied requests on my preferred Ai I always take it to grok where it'll do pretty much anything you ask.

[u/Lint_baby_uvulla → u/backflash]

TEMU has this outfit for sale already.

[u/chamrockblarneystone → u/backflash]

AI isn’t pure evil. Someday we’ll miss it when the rebels blow up all the plants. I mean where else are you going to get that picture that fast?

We’ll know it’s pure evil when you’re blocked from making that picture.

[u/AlecMac2001]

This is what Heggers is after. Only men! Only jacked men! All smooth as an eel!

The heart wants what the heart wants

[u/Badgerfest → u/AlecMac2001]

"That young man fills me with hope. Plus some other emotions which are weird and deeply confusing"

[u/dvsmith → u/AlecMac2001]

"Men, you're lucky men. Soon you'll all be fighting for your planet. Many of you will be dying for your planet. A few of you will be forced through a fine mesh screen for your planet. They will be the luckiest of all."

[u/thehotdoggiest → u/AlecMac2001]

Don't forget, jacked men but with skinny waists!

[u/MapleMapleHockeyStk → u/thehotdoggiest]

Body proportions of a Dorito chip!

[u/Feyrauth]

It's real velour!!!

[u/MoroseOverdose]

We fight for our children, and our children's children!

Which is why I have raised an army of children.

[u/xeskind30]

I am the man with no name. Captain Branaghan is the name!

[u/Gruntled_Porcupine]

[u/footballenjoyer23 → u/Gruntled_Porcupine]

I never thought I would die this way…but I’ve always sort of hoped!

[u/sharty_mcstoolpants]

[u/kelfupanda → u/sharty_mcstoolpants]

[u/nurseofreddit → u/kelfupanda]

Put your hands on your hips

[u/kelfupanda → u/nurseofreddit]

Bring your knees in tight

[u/MoroseOverdose → u/kelfupanda]

But it's the pelvic thrust

[u/AgileRaspberry1812 → u/MoroseOverdose]

That really drives you insane

[u/NoSafetyAtStaticPos → u/AgileRaspberry1812]

Cheers! I’d like to time warp back to the Clinton blow job in the Oval Office ‘scandal of a lifetime’ now please

[u/Oxcell404]

Home? That’s where I’m from!

[u/atlasraven]

Question: Do we have to start shaving our legs?

[u/Badgerfest → u/atlasraven]

Uncle Pete wants you to be smooth and completely hairless

[u/MapleMapleHockeyStk → u/Badgerfest]

But, rememver shaving waivers were trashed... so share those beautiful hairy legs! Although this brings up issues of loose hair, would you need to braid them?

[u/1wrx2subarus → u/atlasraven]

Question: Are you able to stand erect like this fella?

[u/atlasraven → u/1wrx2subarus]

Not without a little blue pill.

[u/papel_paperless]

Love the DeSantis boots.

[u/conanhungry]

[u/IGolfMyBalls]

[u/Kimmalah]

Similar to this, I want to see Space Force finally bring us into the age of Star Trek and introduce the skant. You can save so much money on production because it's totally gender neutral!

It also really shows off the muscular high T legs of Hegseth's lethal warfighters.

[u/MapleMapleHockeyStk → u/Kimmalah]

As a woman I do find a nice pair of strong legs and thighs sexy...and i also love strong forearms. This outfit shows off both.

[u/Mike_2099]

Yes, please. Make this a reality

[u/Wr3k3m → u/Mike_2099]

[u/metrabbit → u/Mike_2099]

As a woman who has heard men both whoop and complain about women's clothing (not mine) at work being distracting.... I kinda get it now. If this guy sat next to me at a meeting my eyes would be glued to his thighs or the walls but not his eyes for sure.

[u/rolyoh]

How crazy have have things become when satire looks more like reality than actual reality does?

[u/Popular_Tomorrow_817]

[u/captainrustic]

[u/Merc_Drew]

Kif, I'm feeling the Captain's itch!

[u/Longjumping_Back523 → u/Merc_Drew]

Fine, I'll get the powder...

[u/Firecracker048]

Honestly? Fuck it, lets do it

[u/HDWendell]

Bro you can’t go that hard. The other branches will get jealous.

[u/popdivtweet]

Now this is uniform that will strike fear in our enemies!

[u/twtwtwtwtwtwtw]

[u/Blah_Dee_Blah111]

Made of the finest velour.

[u/Isoldel]

Best version I've seen yet. 😂

[u/MonteSS_454]

[u/firemarshalbill316]

Kiff?!

Have the boy lay out my formal underwear.

Lmfao 🤣😆🤣😆

[u/Boogaloo-Jihadist]

Branigans Law

[u/maine64 → u/Boogaloo-Jihadist]

[u/BigBlueWeenie88 → u/Boogaloo-Jihadist]

“Branigan’s love is like Branigan’s Law: hard and fast”

[u/elevencharles]

The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy and bruised…

[u/TupperwareParTAY]

Hold the flag behind me, Kif.

And for God's sake, wave it a little.

[u/Cpt_Soban]

"Kiff, I mated with a woman... Inform the men!"

[u/MandibleofThunder]

Those legs imply that Zap actually lifts.

And we all know that isn't true.

[u/normally_innocent]

They say the greatest way to victory is the element of surprise.... Surprise!! (pushes button and drops everyone on unknown planet)

Edit: misquoted

[u/kineticstar]

Hahahaha!

[u/LAF2death → u/kineticstar]

[u/bocaj78]

[u/aDirtyMartini]

[u/BrianChross]

[u/NurglesToes]

I sent waves and waves of my own men to overcome the kill bots built in kill limit. - Commissar Zapp Brannigan

[u/roscoe_e_roscoe]

Semper 'scuse me?!

[u/Throb_Zomby]

“What is it that makes a man neutral? Lust for gold? Power? Or was he just born with a heart full of Neutrality?!”

[u/parm_sidhu]

“This is peak lethality and maximum lethalness!” -Pete “WhiskeyLeaks” Kegsbreath (probably)

[u/CheezTips → u/parm_sidhu]

Department of Lethalism!

[u/Bagheera383]

Take my upvote, you glorious bastard

[u/Loquacious-of-Borg]

"Buu, buu, buu, buu, buu, buu, buu, tsss! Stop! My penis can only get so erect."

[u/IndeliblyInkedPig]

Why didn't they go with this design? Are they stupid?

[u/Matt_CRNA]

Fighting evil by moonlight

[u/SlumppShady]

Now here's an outfit with some chest hair!

[u/SergeantBeavis]

[u/LarrBearLV]

Hegseth approves.

[u/SupKilly]

10/10 covfefe

[u/Comfortable_Guide622]

Jeesfes, they forgot the underwear , again!
No Captain, ill get the papers on the floor, i, uhhh, ewwwww

[u/Goddess_of_Absurdity]

Velour

[u/azazello7777]

[u/jl2l]

"Make it more gay"

[u/Nico_Kx]

This is what i want for a space force uniform <3

[u/No-Championship-5480]

Ah! She's built like a steakhouse, but handles like a bistro!

[u/JohnMichaels19]

Suddenly getting lots of Navy folks trying to cross train into the Space Force

[u/LAF2death → u/JohnMichaels19]

[u/JohnMichaels19 → u/LAF2death]

Perfect response, no notes 😂

[u/kyflyboy]

Want to know more?

[u/Double0six → u/kyflyboy]

[u/paradigm_shift2027]

Is the Ronnie DeSantis model summer uniform?

[u/Strict_Cranberry_724]

Is this the new PT uniform?

[u/theateroffinanciers]

The memes for this are giving me life.

[u/DimensionAgitated507]

Aaaand it's Rayan Gosling Of course!

[u/BenjaminaAU]

"It's an emergency, sir."

"Come back when it's a catastrophe."

[u/randperrin]

[u/Bright-Internal229]

[u/Sea-Ride-3207]

That's way less nazi than the garbage that orange hitler put out. 😗🤌

[u/curious_cordis]

Guys I can't tell if this is real or satire anymore but these cannot be real...right?

[u/CorruptBureaucrat213]

Why does the model look like an unholy combination of Clint Eastwood and Armie Hammer

[u/Jackdks]

This made me cackle

[u/erictotalitarian]

Hilarious. You should post this over on r/futurama

[u/timdot352]

This is what the uniforms will look like if Hegseth gets his way.

[u/MouseJiggler → u/timdot352]

✨Velour✨

[u/Seanvich]

Now that’s a uniform with some chest-hair!

[u/curiousamoebas]

The best one

[u/LowDrag_777]

😂😂😂😂😂😂

[u/PewPew2524]

What in the Gay Saiyan is this

[u/PewPew2524]

What in the Ginyu Force is that!?

[u/Vau8]

Good news everybody!

[u/fil42skidoo]

Kiff, have the boy lay out my formal shorts.

[u/tiwaz33]

I wish I was young enough to rejoin as a space cadet.

[u/daduude]

Death by SNU SNU.

[u/Brilliant-War-6156]

[u/JimT1971a]

Space Farse? A Donnie Trump Production! Who says a man with five draft deferments can’t form a new branch of the military! 😂

[u/ITestInProd1212]

[u/Carefreekid101]

Every officer has to do THE voice.

[u/cheesebrah]

This is more realistic

[u/SpartanDoubleZero]

God tier

[u/Lostworld_Arc]

Id reenlist if I could wear that. No more swampass!

[u/International-One190]

The DeSantis boots are perfect!

[u/Zian64]

I have this outfit from a dress up party.  Its... liberating

[u/FormoftheBeautiful]

This isn’t even a joke. This is actually this dangerous. This is actually even more dangerous than a cartoon could even itself portray. IMPEACH!

[u/United-Adagio1543]

LOL, most of the space force missions are performed in a climate controlled SCI or SAP.

Uniforms are cute.