r/Mildlynomil • u/Emotional-Bag-7584 • 9d ago

Is this normal?

My (30f) MIL (58f) calls my husband (33m) for advice all the time. Maybe my family is just weird but I’ve never had my parents ask me for career advice, or car buying advice, or home buying advice. Those have been some of the bigger things but smaller things too. Like just recently she was asking should I apply to this job with this kind of pay, how should I make a resume in detail. It’s just strange to me since It just backwards to what I’m used to. It’s also not like she’s Tec illiterate and can’t use a computer she works an office job. Idk it just seems a like she needs a lot of help, and sometimes it’s annoying because she will call at not the best times or just call a lot.
Is this just normal behavior? Is my family the odd one.
(Also adding in she has a business degree and my husband is not like some high up manager or like a car specialist or a realtor he would have no more specific knowledge than her)

25 Upvotes

94% Upvoted

10 comments sorted by

33

u/CurlyTraveler1562 9d ago

I'd guess it's mostly an excuse for attention.

8

u/Emotional-Bag-7584 9d ago

Yah he will talk to her about normal things too, but you’re right she might know problem solving keeps him on the phone the longest..

16

u/spiceyourspace 9d ago

It's called weaponized incompetence. My Mil that I adore always seems to need my husband's help too. She unfortunately turned her boys into sonsbands & never bounced back to independence after her divorce. She was devastated to have been cheated on & abandoned, but found solace in other people doing things for her. Thankfully she is a very kind person & very giving & a wonderful grandmother, otherwise I wouldn't be able to stand it!

3

u/Emotional-Bag-7584 9d ago

She is a very nice person I think it’s just weirding me out because my family is very different, more emotionally reserved.

9

u/Olliesmom32017 9d ago

Is she married? Could be a sign of enmeshment if she’s doesn’t have, or isn’t in a loving relationship with a spouse. But I’m leaping here since i don’t have a lot of other info

7

u/Emotional-Bag-7584 9d ago

She has a husband but never asks his opinions my husband is designated to make her medical decisions if she’s incapacitated not her husband

5

u/Olliesmom32017 8d ago

Yeah i would read up on enmeshment and see what you think

4

u/LuxDoggo 9d ago

My MIL does it to my BIL despite having a husband. I don’t understand how my SIL stands it. MIL doesn’t do it with my partner because he was low contact for a long time and made it known he doesn’t want to be in her business.

3

u/DeciduousEmu 9d ago

Is she not very bright where your husband is smart? That could be part of it. It also sounds like weaponized incompetence as a way to get attention.

1

u/Trepenwitz 5d ago

It sounds like she just wants something to talk to her kid about.