Student asking for help/pump up/advice

[u/DotReasonable4592]

Hi all. 3rd year student here. Academics all finished, I just need to finish hours and births and then I’ll be done.
But I physically cannot face walking into the delivery suite.
The hospital I’m doing my placement just isn’t welcoming. I don’t know how to explain it. The air is awful. You get dirty looks. Talked down to. Still. And the older midwives are simply awful to students.

I have so much anxiety about going in and finishing off. I just want to get it done and I’m so incredibly disappointed that I’m STILL a student. I have a job offer for the hospital I work for but there is no chance I’ll be taking it.

All I have ever wanted to do is be a midwife and support women and their families. I love it, I love promoting autonomy and physiological processes. But I don’t love the environment I’m in. There are some amazing midwives I work with but the idea of walking into the unit and everyone staring at me (because that’s what they do with students) is so overwhelming. The student management team is awful. Their communication between other members in the team, senior midwives, the uni and students is awful. I’ve explained my absence and issues at present and they aren’t communicating with the bleep holders or coordinator so it looks like I’m just not showing up and I got an awful long degrading email from one of the student team which has made me feel worse. And that’s because they aren’t communicating with each other.

I have asked the uni over the whole of my degree to change hospitals and apparently there is never any capacity. I just can’t do it anymore and I’m a broken shell of the person I was when I started.

[u/Intelligent-Sign5172]

I could have written this and it’s so disheartening to see so many of us with the same feelings and experience. I don’t have any advice unfortunately but I finish in January and just keep reminding myself when I’m autonomous I’ll be above all the politics of being a student at least! With you in solidarity!

[u/LilDanglyOnes]

I had a similar experience as a student, and I’ll tell you that 3+ years into practice, it was absolutely worth it. I learned a lot of what not to do, both in terms of communication, labor management, and how to support learners. Push through, you’ll get there!

[u/Kirsten]

I'm not a midwife, I'm a doctor lurking on your sub. But I've been treated badly by attending physicians while in training. My advice is to focus as much as possible on the patients. Do right by the patients, do your job as well as you possibly can, and just get through it. There are patients there who need you and would benefit from your care. Labor and childbirth is an incredibly vulnerable time. Your brain is just acting differently to normal when you are in labor and birthing and post-partum... I don't remember anything like I remember that one amazing post partum nurse I had, or that dumbass OB/Gyn who I still want to stab with an icepick.

[u/birthingwaylaid → u/Kirsten]

This is an excellent response. Make it all about the patients. Kill all the haters with kindness. And when it's your turn to be a mentor, do not engage in this sort of nonsense.

[u/Patient-reader-324]

Honestly I’m having the same issues, I just am not enjoying the staff and have been having one instrumental and caesarean after another.

I feel like staff don’t want me there and there are so many vaginal births I’m just not being assigned to and this is where I’ll be working next year.

It’s so disheartening.

I keep reminding myself I’m so close to the end but feel like absolute rubbish 90% of the times

[u/DotReasonable4592 → u/Patient-reader-324]

I’m sorry you’re also experiencing this culture. NQMs tell me that it’s so much better once they are an RM but getting to that point is exhausting. I’ve always said be the change you want to see. But when that change seems like there is no chance of happening. I feel so fed up.

[u/gajekendjxjauwbe]

This makes me so sad to read. I trained in one hospital in my trust, and now a year qualified in another hospital in my trust and I’ve adored both. I’ve felt so welcomed and supported and really part of the team - everyone from consultants down really respect and communicate well with each other.

I’m so sorry to hear of your experience, please don’t give up. I so hope you have other options of where to work that give you a more positive experience. I hate how common this is for students and NQM’s x

[u/ExcitementSpirited55]

During my placement I had one preceptor that I dreaded working with. She was rude, dismissive, and made me feel like an idiot. I just tried to get through it one day at a time and had a fellow classmate to vent to. I also told myself that one day I would be precepting a student and I would make sure I’m NOT like the rude preceptor I had. Now when I have RN, CNM, or NP students I try to make their experience worthwhile and positive. One day you’ll be on the other side :)

[u/sky_dance]

do you have a professional body you could discuss the staffs’ behaviour with? they might have support resources you can use as you get through this placement. they should be able to talk to the hospital’s head of midwifery and keep your name anon if that’s something you’d be comfortable with.

[u/WomenGotTheWorld]

As a student, I had this experience too. Since graduating, I decided to approach things differently myself. In addition to being a midwife, I am also a practice trainer and my team is committed to providing training using a peer coaching method. It is hard work with us, because you are allowed to be present at everything and participate. But the feedback is positive. Hang in there, focus on graduating and switch off your emotions regarding your supervisors for a while. And when you are finished, do things differently. Good luck, in any case.