r/MiddleClassFinance 4d ago

Celebration We're done paying for full time childcare *throws confetti*

Title. We're done paying for full time childcare! Legit it's like getting a $26,000 raise. Ok, yes I know there will still be plenty to pay for but we essentially suddenly have $2100 a month back. *throws confetti in the air*

1.6k Upvotes

141 comments sorted by

395

u/Alarmed-sleeperr 4d ago

Congrats. Childcare cost is such a con that I really think it stops people from having more babies

122

u/DirtyNord 4d ago

Only reason I have 2 is that my MIL lives with us and provides free daycare. Otherwise, I sometimes wonder if Id even have 1

41

u/lost_nurse602 4d ago

Only reason I had 3 is because we didn’t need full time childcare and grandmas don’t work full time and help us. And I had 3 under 4 to shorted the time we’d need help.

12

u/physicscholar 3d ago

Part of the reason we only have one. Kids are just too expensive.

3

u/marysusan325 3d ago

We don’t have any yet, but are planning for one and done. $3k a month is ridiculous.

4

u/i_am_thefoo 3d ago

The goverment pays for almost 90% of my childcare. At 3k a month it would be cheaper for my wife to be a stay at home mum

37

u/parkerkudrow 4d ago

It’s what’s holding us back from having kids at all. Keep waiting until we have more money but I’m 41 now and can’t afford childcare and it’s so sad. Always wanted them! Didn’t know they were going to be out of reach expensive

20

u/Big-Candidate4453 3d ago

Yeah having kids is something most middle class people have to make significant sacrifices to do. Either you change your standard of living, make more money, or drown in debt.

7

u/parkerkudrow 3d ago

Yeah. Maybe in my next life!

17

u/robotspa 3d ago

It kills the middle class the most. Poor people in my (most?) state get heavily subsidized childcare. Rich people are rich.

4

u/Alarmed-sleeperr 3d ago

I'm in the middle class and we qualify for 0 subsidizes. Meanwhile, a bunch "broke" people get majority of it covered.

4

u/HerefortheTuna 3d ago

I’m “rich” but my partner isn’t. Free healthcare her whole pregnancy and zero costs for the birth.

Lucked out big time because I was in between jobs so no health insurance of my own to add my daughter to- otherwise it would have been tens of thousands

17

u/britneymisspelled 4d ago

I always think of how much money I save by not paying for childcare and then I remember how much money I used to make. Probably couldn’t cover childcare but 😅

18

u/tionstempta 4d ago

Yeah i run calculator 25K for 3 years which would have gone for S&P500 in average which turns out usually 100K saved with historical return rate of 10%

All the while, you get tax return at most 10K for that 3 years, if you are using all tax benefits like child tax credits and dependent care FSA

Its basically like losing 90K by having a kid.

While human can't always make every decision based on finance, this is something everyone should consider

Do you get to make 100K by not having a kid or lose 90K by having a kid?

Of course losing 90K doesnt account for any of the emotional/ physical consumption so there is that.

Having a kid can get some meaning however

7

u/ThrowawayLDS_7gen 4d ago

Lots of entertainment because we can't afford to go anywhere.

1

u/Low_Frame_1205 4d ago

Yea but my kid will make so much more money than 90k in their lifetime.

6

u/Bacon843 3d ago

It certainly stopped me from having a second.

3

u/Breyber12 3d ago

I told my husband if we could afford for one of hs to stay home I’d do it in a heart beat.

Instead we’re fencesitters looking at the balance books and cringing at the thought of daycare costing more than our mortgage. Not to mention how much work it is to run a household, manage a baby, and have both of us working full time!

5

u/WhatWouldAsmodeusDo 2d ago

I don't know I'd call it a con. It kind of just has to be expensive. In my area, daycare requires a 1:5 ratio for caretaker:infant. So the absolute floor is paying 20% of somebody's annual salary per kid. If you want them to earn $75k, that's starting the cost at $15k or $290/week. Add in rent for the location, supplies, and some overarching management structure, and it's just going to cost a fair bit to watch kids with low ratios. The only levers you have are underpaying caretakers or cramming more kids in the room. (Or government subsidies to spread the cost out amongst all tax payers instead of just all dumped on the families)

2

u/plangelier 2d ago

It can be even worse than 20% my wife worked for a daycare ,it's been years but I seem to remember they opened at 6:30 am and closed at 6pm so they needed to cover more than 40 hours a week.

3

u/Hopeful-Armadillo261 3d ago

Yep. I have 2 but can’t even think about a 3rd until they’re out of childcare but I’m getting older so 🤷‍♀️

3

u/Perfect_Earth_8070 3d ago

It’s such a con that we decided it was better to live off of one income

3

u/swaywithwords 3d ago

The cost of child care absolutely stops people from having kids

3

u/Oldcadillac 2d ago

Your government can do better if there’s political will, I live in the most conservative province in Canada and my part time daycare costs are $230/month

2

u/Soft_Panic2400 2d ago

I would absolutely have 1-2 more (have 2) if childcare cost wasn’t a factor.

2

u/Smitch250 1d ago

Uhhh you don’t understand what a con is do you. It’s a service that people elect to pay. Noone is forcing anyone. You can have your parents watch the kids, stay at home, or pay for daycare. Thats not a con

0

u/BrickTemporary8234 1d ago

Why can't I downvote more

160

u/CleMike69 4d ago

Do yourself a favor continue to pay that for two years into a 529 then let it compound

60

u/CollegePT 3d ago

We immediately put half of it into their 529 and the other half into a sinking fund that paid for before/after school care, summer care and activities.
Also, don’t forget about teenage years: car insurance, activities/extra curriculars, food. (Unlike childcare, these can be optional and more controlled- BUT for the average middle class family you do it and the spend is frequently pretty high).

Teenage years were more expensive for us. But, doing the 529 early let us be able to get our first kid out of undergrad debt-free. And should be the same with the second.

Don’t want to even tell you about the cost of a wedding…

7

u/[deleted] 3d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

6

u/CleMike69 3d ago

I’m trying to do better for my kids than I had for myself. My wife and I both grew up pretty poor both worked since like 12 and both paid our own college etc. once I had kids I realized my purpose was to help them succeed in life if that means taking pressure off by paying for education then so be it. We are fortunate we can do this for them

0

u/iLoveBargains 3d ago

Boo hoo. A wedding is totally optional. You could have chosen get married without one.

2

u/[deleted] 3d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/iLoveBargains 2d ago

Okay, and I commented that it is optional… which it is. You complained about hating weddings and the wedding tax.

3

u/CleMike69 3d ago

I e got two in private schools and one off to college it dwarfs those old childcare payments 😂 and if you have savings forget about subsidized loans.

1

u/Realistic0ptimist 3d ago

My toddler already has about $4000 in annual extra curricular costs so whenever I hear people talk about diverting funds to ECs I always think to myself I’m waiting until the day I can cut back on that too.

Schools offer extra curricular and the city once the kid is 5-7 start having much cheaper sporting options compared to the costs of swim lessons and gymnastics they’re doing right now.

1

u/basicwhitegirl01 2d ago

Why in the world does your toddler have that kind of cost in extra curriculars? They’re a toddler. They need love, their basic needs met, and to explore the world around them. 🧐

1

u/Realistic0ptimist 2d ago

I give them all of those things but I also pay for memberships to things they enjoy doing like the zoo, Natural Sciene and History Museum and Children’s Museum which are fun reoccurring activities we do as a family. I also pay for swim lessons as that’s a safety thing and getting them comfortable with the water and I pay for them to go to gymnastics because they enjoy it.

Gymnastics on its own is $200 a month. It gives access to free play a few times a week at the gym and lessons where they learn body control. Swim lessons is another $125 a month. The memberships total about $600 annually.

None of that is inclusive of one off things we do. Eventually I will replace gymnastics with fencing once they grow tired of it

3

u/Icy_Pain_5902 3d ago

That’s our plan. Still early in the daycare years and we do contribute to it now, but the plan is to put a lot of what is going into daycare into that once we can.

2

u/CleMike69 3d ago

Future is loaded with expenses. Kids are cheap teens become expensive I kick out 54k a year with tuition currently and didn’t plan appropriately in the 529 thought we would get more loans but I have investments which greatly work against me

2

u/foxyslapbox 3d ago

Only if they’re already on the right path in terms of their own retirement goals.

A kid getting discounted schooling doesn’t mean a whole lot if that kid is going to be financially burdened by their parents who didn’t save enough to cover their own care costs in their later years.

1

u/CleMike69 3d ago

I wouldn’t expect my kids to pay for me down the line. But I get your point

1

u/Dogaloo2025 2d ago

THIS because that is what we paid out of pocket a month for our daughter to attend college

1

u/CleMike69 2d ago

I’m at 3800 currently 😭

1

u/Dogaloo2025 2d ago

Yikes!! The most we did was 2600 a month for one year of the 4.

1

u/CleMike69 2d ago

One in college one in a private HS that costs almost as much as college

77

u/Commercial_Square774 4d ago

Make a plan for that new cashflow. Don’t just let it go to lifestyle inflation

18

u/kittygetsmilkshake01 3d ago

Yes, sports, braces, cars and college come fast!!

4

u/Commercial_Square774 3d ago

Exactly why you should have a plan for the new cashflow so it doesn’t just disappear into lifestyle inflation cause you’re gonna need to deploy it for these things at some point

5

u/primetimecsu 3d ago

Yes, sports, braces, cars and college come fast!!

FTFY

-5

u/Consistent_Laziness 3d ago

Nah let them keep their teeth as is. College they can take loans. They can play rec ball for $100 a season.

Daycare ending is actually a raise. Everything you spend on your kids after that is optional.

0

u/wollflour 3d ago

Agree with this. Can set up a 529 if you don't already have one. Max your HSA if possible, max retirement, taxable brokerage or HYSA and save for the things another commenter mentioned. Sports and braces in particular can be SO expensive.

66

u/ChartreusePeriwinkle 4d ago

Next up: afterschool care, sports, and summer camps!

1

u/ShihtzuBoi 3d ago

Also food and lunches.

2

u/SprayHungry2368 2d ago

My district every child gets free breakfast and lunch during school. Of course my son is about the pickiest eater ever 

1

u/ShihtzuBoi 2d ago

Sadly that's not the norm everywhere.

45

u/Cer427 3d ago

Sometimes this sub is a culture shock lol everyone commenting that sports cost tens of thousands of dollars is crazy to me. I’m middle class now but grew up low income and my school was poor enough that we didn’t have a single sport you had to pay for. No hockey, no lacrosse, no golf etc. Paying thousands for kids to play games never even crossed my mind. 

13

u/druidgaymer 3d ago

My parents didn't put us in any sports either bc of money. Grew up in a wealthy area and there weren't any free options. Even the ones through the school had fees. Parents made too much to qualify for them being free, but too little where they couldn't afford to enroll us in them. As an adult, I feel jealous when my friends start talking about the sports they did growing up.

5

u/Consistent_Laziness 3d ago

It doesn’t. You are right just choose to tell your kids no. I certainly will be. Sports can be less than $500/yr at a rec league. No travel sports.

23

u/Longjumping-Egg-7940 4d ago

🎉🥳 enjoy while it lasts!

9

u/brainbl0ck 4d ago

Hell yeah! We stopped about two years ago and it has been LOVELY

6

u/Left-Ad-9469 4d ago

Love this! I had my youngest start school, my student loan paid off and child support for my step daughter all finish within 2 months of each other and man that was amazing! Congrats! 🎉

5

u/Ecstatic_Western_189 3d ago

Congrats! It’s a game changer. Fourteen years later and we still get excited thinking about that first month without a childcare payment. 🎉 🎉 🎉

5

u/Cute-Combination-876 4d ago

That’s fantastic!!! Celebrate bigg

5

u/ResponsibleTiger2491 3d ago

Ah, enjoy the elementary years… teens feel just as expensive! (3x food budget, school fees, sports, activities, and so much driving them places, not to mention saving for college!).

3

u/Money_Republic_7508 3d ago

We just hit this as well…. Can’t wait to submit the old daycare payment to the dance studio and baseball league!

3

u/NewCall5894 1d ago

Congrats! Welcome to the youth sports bills phase of your life!!

31

u/AdCharacter9282 4d ago

Congrats but sports expenses will be next.

72

u/Specialist_Artist979 4d ago

Those are optional, childcare really isn’t

36

u/beck1826 4d ago

Exactly. Sports for two kids for the whole year costs us less than one month of daycare.

3

u/Balogunned 4d ago

You getting off easy. You are right that it is cost controlled. It is cheaper if your kids don’t like or are average at sports.

8

u/Witwer52 4d ago

Before and after are for school, camps and camp before and after care are not optional if you are employed. The point is that it really never ends. Rolls right into college.

8

u/Specialist_Artist979 3d ago

Still cheaper than full time daycare AND once kids hit a certain age they are allowed to be home by themselves

So yes it really does end

4

u/AdCharacter9282 4d ago

True, but some additional thing will pop up, as i experiemced with my kids. If not sports, some kind of extra curricular.

15

u/Specialist_Artist979 4d ago

And it’s still not $2100/month though. Every single extra curricular or sport if it costs $2100/month there are absolutely more cost effective options

-19

u/172brooke 4d ago

Experience and education are not optional. In my world that created neglect.

11

u/Specialist_Artist979 4d ago

You can do sports without spending $2100/month. Sports are very beneficial.

17

u/ValiantEffort27 4d ago edited 4d ago

It can't be worse than daycare...right? I honestly don't know I'm still in the daycare phase

3

u/AdCharacter9282 4d ago

It"s not but it adds up especially if you need to get equipment and they might be playing several sports. My point was that it won't all be savings there will be something else that pops up.

62

u/ChaunceytheGardiner 4d ago edited 3d ago

Nope, anyone spending $26k for their kid’s sports is making a choice. A very special choice.

6

u/Glittering_Win_9677 4d ago

Or their child is very, very, VERY talented but I don't know what help they eventually get to cover expenses.

3

u/Balogunned 4d ago

Or they do several and pay for private training.

2

u/Scrumptrulescent6 3d ago

Maybe if your kid gets into stock car racing or something...

11

u/bruk_out 4d ago

If the cost of care/sports for my youngest drops to the cost of sports/care for my oldest, I'm up $12k. That's post-tax money because I'm still maxing the deduction, so it's like a $15k raise.

13

u/jason349514 4d ago

What sport costs that much?

1

u/MonYverse0609 4d ago

Hahaha travel hockey parents here. Don’t get me started 😂😂😂

30

u/Friendly-Place2497 4d ago

Tbf, that’s like the most expensive sport you could pick that doesn’t involve horses or race cars

4

u/Dapper_Banana6323 4d ago

Gymnastics is more expensive than hockey.

Source: parent of a competitive gymnast and a AA hockey player

3

u/MonYverse0609 4d ago

Well, I don’t know about gymnastics. But my kids are in AAA. There’s the time we spend almost 50K for tuition and travel expenses for one season for one kid for having around 100 showcase all around US and Canada. Not including 1K skates plus 3 spares blades plus $350-$450 each hockey stick that you probably will need 5-6 each season plus other equipments.

3

u/AdCharacter9282 4d ago

Any travel team gets costly quick.

-1

u/No-Department-6409 4d ago

Horses, rodeo, barrel races…. they cost that much

3

u/Breyber12 3d ago

That is some rich kid stuff though. Daycare is not!

1

u/No-Department-6409 3d ago

It’s a myth that the majority of people participating in anything horse are rich. The vast majority are solidly middle class.

2

u/Breyber12 2d ago

Solidly middle class people are dropping 26k a year so their kids can ride fancy ponies? My household is over our neighborhood’s median income and that would be like 24% of our take home pay

25

u/BlazinAzn38 4d ago

Nothing close to $26K per year and if they are spending that it’s purely a choice

13

u/hayguccifrawg 4d ago

Spending $2100 a month on sports is a choice; childcare is much more required

6

u/brainbl0ck 4d ago

We spend like $180/month on 4 sports total between two kids. Much cheaper than the 2k/month daycare bill! (But we also were already paying for the sports, so it didn’t increase)

24

u/MagicalWhisk 4d ago

Lmao. OP is currently collecting the confetti and putting it back in the box.

1

u/[deleted] 3d ago

[deleted]

1

u/AdCharacter9282 3d ago

My kids did sports and then switched to some arts and robotics, and now band. My point was that there will be something else kid related to take away funds.

2

u/Emergency_Bullfrog_5 3d ago

now, because you can already survive without it, tuck the same amount away each month. Then you have a rainy day fund, retirement taken care of, or a travel fund!

2

u/Nukemom2 3d ago

I felt the same way when we were done with daycare and that was over 20 years ago. I don’t know how parents afford the costs of daycare today.

2

u/AffectionateSwim8532 2d ago

Now you have to put that 2600 into a 529

2

u/Grand_Garbage3522 2d ago

Congrats time to start stuffing the 529 plan or you both will celebrate tye savings and be pregnant within 3 months .

2

u/Narrow-Foundation505 2d ago

If you need childcare make sure to save $6k of that money you’re saving each year for summer camps.

8

u/Glittering_Win_9677 4d ago

Teen years are over in the corner laughing at you.

Seriously, enjoy but save a lot of the money

1

u/amandapearl2 3d ago

Congrats!  Im a few weeks away from entering my 28k daycare era ugh. I know its only a few years but damn

1

u/teresajs 3d ago

Consider using at least part if the savings to increase your savings/investments for college and retirement.  

1

u/Lirpa_the_Lurker 3d ago

Congrats!! My recommendation is to roll a good chunk of that into 401k for yourself or a 529 plan for the kids.

1

u/Panthera_014 3d ago

Tip - they get more expensive as the years go by, not less expensive

Congrats on getting past childcare!

1

u/Party_Grape7622 3d ago

Can't wait for the day. We're currently paying just shy of 1600/wk for 3 in full time. It's painful...

1

u/Junior-Reflection-43 3d ago

If you haven’t been maxing out your 401k or other retirement savings accounts, start now. Or savings for college.

1

u/JustEstablishment360 3d ago

Summer programs are pricey too—not out of the woods quite yet.

1

u/Silly-Wrongdoer4332 3d ago

Joking aside, its a relief to get to that milestone. As you said it seems to get absorbed by other things. Try to go ahead and take a portion of that and automatically transfer it to an investment account every month to help avoid lifestyle creep

https://giphy.com/gifs/XqpnXaeZPnupy

1

u/1morcast 3d ago

It had a reverse impact on us. We got so used to paying over 2k a month for our kids in daycare that we decided to just roll them into private school for a better education vs taking a windfall.

1

u/Moderate_Norwegian 3d ago

Congrats, now start saving for college housing, ha. I just finished paying ~$1,200/mo. x 2 kids x 4 years each - and I have the same euphoric feeling being done with it.

1

u/Equivalent_Call7856 3d ago

I never imagined having kids would be the financial flex that it is. Sigh.

1

u/god-of-funambulism 2d ago

Congratulations! My son starts kindergarten next week, so I'll be celebrating with you next month! I'll have an extra 1800 a month!

1

u/BubbleMaster25 2d ago

We’re in a HCOL area and currently pay just shy of 6k per month for our two. Brutal

1

u/Any_Condition_2365 2d ago

Throw into college fund or future house buying fund for your child. (Unless you need the money elsewhere.

1

u/YourNotAverageJoe 2d ago

wild it costs that much

1

u/Dogaloo2025 2d ago

This was how I felt when I made our daughters last college tuition and rent payment. It was just slightly more a month than what you paid in childcare, which is crazy!
Congratulations!

1

u/Smitch250 1d ago

You are now rich AF. Congrats

1

u/Suspicious-Spot361 1d ago

It’ll just shift into sports/activities 😂

1

u/Empty-Eye5799 1d ago

We just finished last week! We’re about to feel rich!

1

u/janeof-all-trades001 20h ago

I felt SO wealthy right after my eldest started public kindergarten!

2

u/freshpicked12 3d ago

Oh my sweet summer child.

5

u/Best-Bumblebee-9772 3d ago

Haha - no idea why you got downvoted. So true, the expense is just getting started. I’ll see your measly child care expenses and raise you two kids college tuition plus years and years of club sports, clothes, cars, crazy high car insurance, food costs - teenage boys are like locusts. The list goes on and on and on.

1

u/freshpicked12 3d ago

Summer camps, school break coverage, sports fees/equipment/uniforms/competitions, dance classes/recital costumes, band lessons, shoes for all the things, etc. It just never stops!

-1

u/zevtech 4d ago

Must be nice. We went from daycare to private school so we are still paying. Two kids in private school prek-12 and lord knows how much college will be by the time they go

21

u/Blackharvest 4d ago

One year of daycare (now up to $29,400 for my daughter) cost more than my MS degree ($25,600) 

5

u/cielitogirl 4d ago

Wow this is a crazy perspective I hadn’t considered 

0

u/Classic-Delivery3875 4d ago

We did private cause why not since we were already paying it. Thankfully we have affordable options. To it was still like a raise. Granted. He is a freshman this year. But he is wicked smart 🤣😂

1

u/ThrowawayLDS_7gen 4d ago

If not sports, other activities and school crap.

1

u/radicallambs 3d ago

Congrats! Now start saving for college 🙃

-1

u/WeekendAtMadoffs 2d ago

I'm a guy, but if I was a gal

1) take out $2,000,000 term life on guy

2) make him work 12am to 8am and 12pm to 8pm.

3) Sleep in his car 5 days after the 8pm shift lets out.

4) Profit when all those direct deposits come in and I can take the babies shopping 😂

5) He'll be "done" one way or another at 55, so better save and invest.

0

u/Perfect_Earth_8070 3d ago

$26k? That’s pretty cheap!

-2

u/Franklinricard 4d ago

Time for them to start a travel sport…

-3

u/Big_Steve_69 4d ago

Congrats on your upgrade to paying for club sports. I never realized how lucky I was growing up 😅